just for the record (part 1)

I was clearing whatever papers and receipts in my small black pouch. I've had this pouch since.. early 2000s? And I keep ATM transaction receipts and purchase receipts in it.

Guess what?

The ATM transaction receipts were as far back as March 2007! OMG OMG. nampak sangat liyana ni suka simpan2. Among other things, I found these 4 items which I would like to remember, before I throw 'em away -

1. May 05, 2006 I bought my second pair of glasses. $180 (My first pair was when I was in secondary 1) Blue rim, rectangular-ish lenses. I still keep both pair.

2. March 27, 2007 Bought a sleeping bag, for the first time. I remember searching the whole of Tampines Mall for one. Nada. So I went to Century Square. I don't remember if I just bought it 'for future use' or there was an upcoming camp.. I still have it, stashed in my wardrobe.

3. November 11, 2006 A birthday present for my brother - a Billabong wallet. The most expensive present I've given to anyone to date. Nevertheless, I am glad I bought it =)

4. sister Norashikin. Ahh... *feeling nostalgic* I met her at an NTUMS talk in.. lemme see.. 2005, I think. I remember that ust Sakinah recommended us to go. By 'us', I mean, banaat thfz. Maybe it was through email, or she told us about it in one of our classes, or during an usrah. I think I was supposed to go with.. 'Adilah and kak Mardhiyah, but last minute, both of them couldn't make it. So I went alone. It was my first time stepping into NTU campus.

The talk was.. after maghrib? or Isya'? Unfortunately, I can't remember what it was about =( But somehow, I have a feeling it was a session to 'rejuvenate our faith' in the midst of busy school schedules and CCAs. I think back then, I didn't really empathise with what these older brothers and sisters were going thru. I was still in madrasah.. hari2 dalam bi'ah islamiah. Anyway, the sister who befriended me was this sis Norashikin. I met her first (kira.. she was the contactperson ah..).. afterwards she introduced me to a few sisters. I remember eating dinner after the talk outside the LT. I remember feeling shy and awkward coz there were brothers.

And, that was where I met sis Khairiah for the first time. She was wearing a pink tudung labuh. Surprised, I asked her if it was okay to wear tudung labuh in uni, and she said, 'yes!'. =D

I remember following the sisters to somewhere.. maybe a room to pray? hmm.. this part I'm totally blank. Sad sad.. The next part is me in the bus going home with a few sisters. A sis Ira sat beside me. And we talked. I knew I asked her about her course, and at that time, she lives in Admiralty too. I exchanged numbers with sis Norashikin and sis Ira.

Hmm... yeah. I don't think I had seen or heard from them since. Sometime I wonder where they are now, and how they are doing. I hope to see them again.. Of course, I don't expect them to remember me. I was a small kid. hehe.. Just that, y'know, it'll be nice to re-connect. Someday, inshaAllah~

Oh, by the way, just to share, at the back of her card is this -

The next day..

I feel a little bit better now. Alhamdulillah.. And the short article in today's Berita Minggu featuring kak Maryam and kak Nisha motivates me a bit. That's something, to get me back on track. Focus.

--

Anyway, the travelogue I am currently reading is titled Secangkir Teh Pengubat Letih by ustaz Hasrizal Abdul Jamil. I try to imagine the sceneries and places that he described, and I can't help but feel a lil' jealous of the ukhwah he forged with his Turkish companions.. hee.. not negative jealous.. a positive one.. I would also like to travel and live somewhere.. blend myself in a different culture and people. I definitely want to find and get to know those who are of the same faith.

--

I went to the library. Browsed the Adult Fiction section quite cluelessly. Coz I didn't know what titles to pick except Cecelia Ahern's and John Grisham's. I've been wanting to get my hands on the former's The Book of Tomorrow and the latter's The Confession. I am not a fan of John Grisham, coz I've never read his books. Just that I stumbled upon The Confession at Times Bookshop last week, read the synopsis, and decided that I want to give it a try.

Other than that.. I don't really know which books to choose. I think I am going to rely on recommendations I can find in newspapers, internets and magazines. Occasionally I would browse the fiction section in bookstores, pick up random titles (based on the cover illustration and the title.. if they attract me) and read the plot summary. If a book sounds appealing, I would then jot the title and author's name in my HP, noting to self to check it out the next time I visit a library. And occasionally, I would find a gem, where I would go.. "aaaaahhh... this is one of the best books I have ever read" or "just what I need!" or "what a wonderful story!".

So, today while at the New Arrivals table, I saw a book that tells the story of 'the princes of the tower'. Now this, is something I have never heard about. On to another shelf of books, I saw A Secret Alchemy, which revolves around the same topic. Hmm.. piqued my curiosity. Who are they? Found the info here.

--

After that, off to FairPrice which is located underground. I think I spent 40 minutes (probably more) browsing the aisles and reading the ingredients labels. I stopped long enough at my favourite sections - dried fruits (read - not PRESERVED fruits), biscuits, cereals, snack bars, chocolates. *wide grinnnn*

There's a brand I've never heard of - Carman's. They sell granola bars and muesli. Those bars look realllly delicious! But.. hmm.. oh well..

Although, I think I am getting mellower. I mean, now when I read food packagings, I don't immediately put back those that don't have Halal logo. I will examine them.. see if they have Kosher symbol, Halal symbol, vegetarian symbol, organic symbol or not.. and scan the ingredients. Some do look 'harmless'. I am not sure if I will buy these products one day.. just curious, I guess, of the possibility. Hmm...

I want to read about

Robin Hood
the man in the iron mask
Richard The Lion Heart
Dzulqarnain
the Armenians
the history of the Balkans
the last of the Uthmaniyya caliph, his descendants
Mark Twain, who he is
Stephen Hawking's The Great Grand Design

I wonder why I am not that interested in anything south-east asian.

I am feeling miserable.
I feel this way after meetings that I did not expect.
On the way home I could not continue reading the travelogue that I had brought with me.
Felt like crying, alright!
Tried to calm myself by istighfar, but somehow my mind wandered elsewhere.
In, out, in, out.. then, i pulled my thoughts back to earth and istighfar again..
But no.. I felt miserable, and I still am.
I want to get out of this misery.. but, how, ya Allah?
I thought of a way, but am I really ready to do it?
Ya Allah.. please.. put me out of this misery.
I thought I had it tied, bound, shushed away somewhere.
But it came back, and now I am filled with emotions that I don't feel comfortable to even acknowledge.

I should sleep it over.
Maybe I will be feel better in the morning.
But now.. now I feel like erasing my memory.
Can I have a wand and obliviate myself?
I am not joking.
There are some incidences that I wish to forget, because they make me feel this way..
I need to pray harder.
Ask Allah to make these stop.
These thoughts, fantasies, memories.
They are making me ill.

I just need to pray reeeeeeaaallyy hard.

Ya Allah.. Please protect him from me.

Bila seorang anak dan ayah bergaduh, lalu si ayah melepaskan kata-kata kesat, adakah si ayah berdosa? atau tidak? dari perspektif mana harus kita tgk - seorang muslim memaki hamun muslim yang lain, atau seorang ayah marah besar dgn anaknya? *agak keliru dalam hal ni* adakah seorang ayah berhak mengeluarkan kata-kata kesat terhadap anaknya, meskipun si anak lah yang meninggikan suaranya dahulu lantas mencetuskan perang mulut tersebut?

Does the father mean what he said? Does the father really mean what he said? People are often blinded by their anger and they would blurt out things they did not mean, things they would later regret. But is it not during these fiery episodes that their deep thoughts and feelings are brought to the surface? Things they have been keeping for some time, for example, resentment, certain negative impressions they hold on the other person (such as the thought that the son has not been responsible or filial), negative ideas or wishful thinking that, in normal peaceful situation, they strive to push aside because these wishes are morally incorrect and obviously, instigations by the devil.

So.. Both father and son, especially the father, were aware of what they were saying, right?

Suddenly I am curious about the psychology of anger.

About 1 hour ago, Cik Isa's family left our house. And somehow, I am feelin' a bit stressed coz I was not able to strike any conversation with my cousins and cousins-in-law.

No. 1, kak Izan was sitting in between her husband (bro Azmi, who is my cousin) and Rayyan (nephew). No. 2, kak Rusydah and kak Shima were busy looking at wedding pictures and entertaining Azrul (kak Rusydah's son). No. 3, I was sitting at a quite unstrategic place. hmm.. (so, you see, I wanted to talk to my female cousin/cousins-in-law.. not the brothers. huhu)

K takpe.

It's just that, I really need to find ways, make an effort, to get to know 'em. Seriously, bila mak dan ayah dah takda, bila pak cik2, mak cik2 dah takda, camne nak sambung silaturrahim kalau dari sekarang tak cuba?

I saw someone last night. On screen.
I had asked Allah not to let me see this person for 6 months.

I wonder, is it 6 months already?


-----------------------------------------------------------------



Sometimes, I am very very curious about someone that I start thinking, "macam nak hantar wakil pergi merisik".

But, I'd stop myself and say, "then, what?"

when i see her

there are a few sisters whom when i see them, i just feel 'oooOoOooo'.. y'know, rase hormat, rasa sayang, kagum, gembira.. kinda meshed up all together.

these sisters are ones that i treasure. sometimes i feel like i want to protect them.. and du'a for them, that good things will happen to them, and that they will meet someone soleh, and that Allah keep them safe, and that they be steadfast, and iman strengthened..

some of these sisters, i dont even know them that well. tapi dari jauh je, hati ni dah rasa suka kat mereka. just went to Facebook, and just got to know that a mutual friend is married. the only memory i have of her is a bus ride, from wak tanjong to tampines, the three of us, me, 'alimah and her. it was after the syarahan competition, peringkat saringan.. yes. i remember that.. i remember that we had a pleasant conversation. i dont hear a lot about her, but whatever i know so far, is good. and guess what, turns out that she is married to an ustaz of whom i've heard to be direct, passionate when it comes to 'pracitising your religion according to the quran and sunnah', and impress his students by his explanations and arguments. ohh... ini dia orangnya! anyway, back to this particular sister, i must say, she has an aura of maturity, tawadhu'.. segan plak rasanya bila ada dia. hee..

another sister of mine got married last week. hah! i dont remember how long it has been since i last met her. 2 years? or maybe, 3? jumpa je, kat masjid habib noh, on her nikah day! hehe.. can't help but feel suprised, macam-tak-percaya yang dia dah kahwin.. hee.. afwan kak, memori ana masih kat zaman kita kat MKS dulu. hehe.. kena fast-forward lah.. i dont know why i keep having this 'senyum simpul' when i think about her (being married). sweeeeeet~ and yes, i seriously would like to hear a first-hand account from her!

orang yang solehah ni, memang Allah jaga, kan? ^_____^


have you heard of a du'a, in which if someone thinks bad of you (for example, he/she thinks you are hot-tempered), may Allah protect you from actually having that character, and if someone thinks good of you (for example, he/she thinks you are very passionate about helping fellow youths), may Allah help you develop that character, but if you already possess that, may Allah keep it inside you and make you an even better person than what you are now? i am sure i've heard of it somewhere, but i dont know what sort of key words to use for me to google it. may be it is from a hadith or something.. hmm.. would very much like to know it, memorise and practise it.

1. few weeks ago, my sister bugged me to check out Maher Zain's songs. after several days of 'nantilah... nanti kakak dengar..', i finally sat down, let Aqila play one song from Youtube, and listened.

I focused on the lyrics, and enjoyed the melody. my reflective mode was almost turned on. but, i restrained myself. hmm... i must say, it was a song to be remembered!

I find Maher Zain's music appealing.. the genre that he adopts suits the ears of many, especially youths and young adults. well, it suits mine. heh.

2. stepped into Darul Andalus at Golden Landmark today. tgh browsing, sekali terjumpa majalah Solusi. Immediately grabbed a copy. haha. excited. first heard about it from kak Khadijah last year. she was sharing with me how hooked she was to that magazine, the different contents, relevant, fresh approach. then, recently i went to kak Huda Khamsani's blog, turns out she likes the magazine very much. hmm.. enough to make me want one. curious!

now it's beside me - isu nombor 17. the theme is 'Membina Keyakinan Diri'. Allah! kena betul dgn situasi kite skrg. ~Allah Maha Mengetahui apa dalam hati ni, apa yang diri ni perlukan~ cant help but feel that i was at the right place, at the right time, and got the right first copy.

inshaAllah, i'll share with you more about this after i finish reading the magazine.

1. i just hopped to a bro's blog, and suddenly it occured to me to click on his first month of blogging. back in 2005.

macam kelakar gitu~ i mean, we, readers, are able to read thru say, 5 years of a person's life just by clicking the archives. March 2005, October 2005, January 2006, June 2006...... September 2009, January 2010. it's like, in two days we can finish reading their past stories. macam buku cerita. padahal, that person took 5 years, updating his or her blog every other day. sometimes funny entries, insightful, sometimes with pictures, sometimes just plain boring. don't you think it's amazing, reading about someone's life in a matter of days? hmm.. macam unfair pon ade jugak.

like i said, macam story book. but, blogs seldom have reviews, kan? so, we dont know where to have a good read. i think the main publicity is word of mouth. e.g. oh, i know this kakak, blog nya best. cara dia tulis creative. so i tell my friends and friends of friends about it. if im lucky, i'd stumble on some 'foreign' blogs that turn out to be awesome! then, i would tell my friends and friends of friends about it. personally, i find it hard to search for The Interesting Blog, y'know? i want to find bloggers yang kat luar negeri.. say, Europe ke, Africa ke.. it'll be nice to know that people out there are living a life just like me. nak tahu jugak kehidupan mereka camne. a local's perspective ah.

having said that, i dont know of any 'overseas' blog. maybe im not searching enough. kawan-kawan, klw korang tahu blog2 yang best, beritahu kite eh? =D

back to reading a person's blog history - as you turn to newer posts, you can see the gradual changes as the person grows up - cara dia tulis, the content or theme of his/her posts, the thinking process that the person goes thru. for example, the bro's blog that i just visited, the early entries banyak nah '... ... ...'. nampak sangat tulis malas2, meleret2, typical of teenagers gitu ah. tapi as he matures, postsnya lebih to-the-point. succinct. more to nasihat untuk diri.
another example, a sister's journey from when she's in secondary school.. undegraduate kat luar negeri.. sampailah dah kerja sekarang, dan dah berumahtangga.

blog ni boleh jadi macam drama series. klw our favourite blogger tak update, gelisah kita dibuatnya. haha.. mungkin perumpamaan ni agak exaggerated lah, but im sure it rings true for some people.

2. i watched The Soloist about a week ago. quite disappointed lah.. ceritanya mendatar. it doesnt really show what's exactly wrong with the character. i mean, what's the main plot, really? is there a major conflict? i did not feel the emotion and inspiration at the end of the movie.

tapi, yang strike a chord in my heart is the state of the poor people. macamane mereka hidup hari2, penampilan mereka, macamane mereka tidur on the streets tanpa segan silu. it's their home. it's the only place they know. ape2 plastik, tilam lusuh yang mereka ada, they make it as a makeshift bed. then, zZZZzz... tak kisah sgt lah klw ada tikus, lipas lalu kat depan.

Anyway, have you seen Patch Adams? Best sangat2 cerita ni. a doctor-in-training who treats patients the unconventional way - lots of humour, laughs and love. with his stubborness, never-give-up attitude. sounds like a typical inspirational movie, kan? but, nah. the plot is good. plus, with Robin Williams in it, pasti mencuit hati. yup yup. inspiring!

pictures from my handphone (part 1)

Ahh, yes, after nearly 5 years, I finally bought a new handphone set.

And apparently, it was not easy. choosing the Right model. haha.. mind you, I have never bought a handphone before. My first handphone was given to me by my brother. a Siemens. small, simple. couldnt save a lot of messages. but it was the one that got me attracted to Silent Night. i cant remember if the ringtone was polyphonic or not, but i like the tune very much. it sounded familiar, and eventually, i managed to recall that it's from the popular Christmas carol.

My second model was Nokia 3100. mum upgraded her handphone. but instead of using the new one, she gave it to me. she herself continued to use her old handphone. *sigh* i always think it was very sweet of her. terharu gitu. mengalah untuk anak. i'm forever grateful.. and this phone has, over the years, become such a precious thing to me. banyak berjasa! i didnt even change the handphone set colour, although there were a few times in that almost-5 years that i thought of buying a purple one at pasar malam. ni kes sayang duit, dan sayang nak tukar ape2 pon ttg handphone nih.

Then, since 2 or 3 years ago, my address book became full. and i needed more storage space for messages. and sometimes, i envy those cameraphones. and THEN, my lovely lovely 3100 started to have bad reception.. asyik kena switch on and off je. the battery life became shorter *sedih sedih.. signs of old age ke?* anyway~ at the beginning of last year, i started to become aware of the current models in the market. maklum je lah, selama ni cukup puas hati dgn apa yang ada. tak heran dgn yang lain. when i got my first pay, lagi lah semangat mencari.

Like i said, it wasn't easy. i was picky about the design (i dont want touchscreen!), and size (i want something small, like my 3100), and brand (i prefer Nokia and Sony Ericsson). i even listed down the functions i want (i was especially adamant about getting a 5-megapixel phone. no, sir, not less than that!) oh, good thing webbies like Nokia have the product filter for you to narrow down your search for the ideal phone. very very helpful!

Dalam banyak2 handphone models kat dunia ni, turns out that i only like 4 -

Sony Ericsson C901 Greenheart
Nokia 6700 Classic
Nokia N79
Nokia E75

C901 and N79 are not sold in singapore (yet?). i like the design of E75.. but since it's 3.2 megapixel, and the physical phone looks a biiiit wide, so, no..

To find the perfect time to buy was another problem. im sure im not the only one with the habit of waiting for The Promotion, The Best Price, and of course, having enough money at the right time. 6700 without a mobile plan is quite Ex. which means, i had to buy one.. oh tidaaakkk! part ni sungguh tak best. why cant i convert pre-paid to post-paid, yet retain the same number??????

The Promotion came in November 2009. Starhub. $0. k, im for it! kena beli mobile plan pun, beli je lah~ BUT, i wanted the student plan (who doesn't want the UNLIMITED SMSes?) haha.. so, i asked my sister's help.

wheee~~ akhirnya..



Nampak sleek and slim gitu kan? ^_^ unfortunately, the first thing that came to mind when i first held it was.. 'alamak, berat uh'. the casing is steel, not plastic like my 3100. haha.. just gotta live with it!

So far, so good. albeit this particular handphone set does not have Calculator. *suprise suprise!* i was bewildered when i couldnt find that function. penting lah.. i need it to count the cells. kadang2 lupa nak bawak calculator from the lab to the cell culture room, so i usually use my handphone. pfftt.

I was mostly excited about being able to bluetooth music files and e-books into my phone! more excited about the latter, really! i've read Dan Brown's Angels and Demons and The Lost Symbol, and J. R. R. Tolkien's LOTR The Return of The King. Of course i dont get the same pleasure as when i hold and read physical books. but okay lah, comfortable enough to keep me occupied during train or bus rides.

Whoopsie! look at the time! i'll continue next time, inshaAllah. with the content that i had initially intended to post. kira, ni macam prologue ah.. or, 'background information'. heh.

Til the next post..! see ya!

music to the ears~

Just got to know that We Are The World has been remade, in aid for the Haiti Earthquake.

The song's been given a very fresh makeover, i must say. *love it!* although i think there's just tad too many artists involved, oh well, it's the music that matters.




There's also a sort of remake of The Earth Song at this year's Grammys. When I heard Michael Jackson's singing.. whooaa.. I cant help but feel strange.. almost chilling.. to think that he's underground right now, yet there was his voice, so strong, so into the music. i wonder if he stirred in his grave..

The Earth Song has been a favourite of mine ever since I heard it when I was a kid.


(i notice two of MJ's nephews look like him! Dont you think so?)


Of course, not forgetting this one --




Say the words, I'll lay 'em down for you
Just call my name, I am your friend
See then why do they keep teaching us
Such hate and cruelty
We should give over and over again

What have I got that I can give
(We should give over and over again)
What have I got that I can give
(Oh my God, oh my God)
See, to love and to teach you
To hold and to need you
What more can I give

am happy for them =)

RAIH DIPLOMA: Cik Faridah (kanan) dan Cik Salbiah antara kohort pertama 24 guru dari enam madrasah sepenuh masa yang menerima diploma dari NIE semalam. -- Foto TAUFIK A. KADER


Mudah cetak
E-mel

14 Jan 2010

SINGAPURA

24 guru madrasah terima diploma pendidikan

Usaha guru Bahasa Arab kembali ke bilik darjah selepas 25 tahun tinggalkan bangku sekolah berbaloi

Oleh
Azahar Mohd
TUNTUTLAH ilmu daripada buaian hingga ke liang lahad.

Dengan semangat kental, keazaman yang tinggi dan hasrat yang kuat untuk menjadi guru yang lebih berkesan, Cik Faridah Ali, guru Bahasa Arab di Madrasah Wak Tanjong, kembali ke bilik darjah walaupun telah meninggalkan bangku sekolah lebih 25 tahun.

Jerih payah dan kerja kerasnya berbaloi.

Cik Faridah, 50 tahun, adalah antara kohort pertama 24 guru daripada enam madrasah sepenuh masa yang menerima Diploma Program Pembelajaran dan Pengajaran daripada Institut Pendidikan Nasional (NIE) dalam satu majlis ringkas di Majlis Ugama Islam Singapura (Muis), Braddell Road, semalam.

Beliau menerima diploma itu daripada Menteri Bertanggungjawab bagi Ehwal Masyarakat Islam, Dr Yaacob Ibrahim.

Turut hadir ialah Presiden Muis, Haji Mohd Alami Musa.

'Diploma ini sememangnya membawa kelegaan yang tidak terhingga selepas saya menempuh pelbagai cubaan dan dugaan, lebih-lebih lagi setelah begitu lama menamatkan pengajian di Universiti Al-Azhar dalam 1982,' ujar ibu seorang anak itu.

Beliau diberi penghormatan memberi ucapan perpisahan dalam majlis tersebut.

Sementara itu dalam ucapannya, Haji Mohd Alami berkata lebih 90 peratus daripada sekitar 270 guru madrasah akan mempunyai kelayakan profesional menjelang akhir tahun ini.

Kesemua guru madrasah dijangka mempunyai kelayakan profesional menjelang tahun depan - memaparkan betapa serius usaha menyuntik profesionalisme dalam sistem pendidikan madrasah di sini.

Sejak 2003, Muis membelanjakan $2.5 juta bagi pelbagai latihan untuk guru madrasah.

Antaranya ialah menghantar empat guru madrasah mengikuti program diploma dalam bidang Kaunseling di Politeknik Nanyang.

Guru madrasah yang muncul sebagai pelajar terbaik dalam program diploma kelolaan NIE itu ialah Cik Salbiah Zainal, 42 tahun, guru Madrasah Alsagoff.

Cik Salbiah, ibu empat anak yang berusia antara lima dengan 12 tahun, berkata antara masalah yang paling mencabar ialah mengimbangi tuntutan keluarga dengan mengetepikan masa untuk mengulang kaji pelajaran.

'Saya berharap kemahiran yang saya timba ini dapat membantu saya mendidik pelajar madrasah supaya mereka setanding atau lebih baik berbanding pelajar di sekolah akademik,' tambah beliau yang juga lulusan Universiti Malaya

I am inspired.


Y'know, these days i wish i have a credit card. Do you guys know about World Food Programme's 1 Billion project? let me say this again - i wish i have a credit card. Visa. Mastercard. whatever.

Even if i have PayPal, i still have to have a credit card, right? pfft. (and i dont think organisations accept PayPal)



Back to the video - inshaAllah! Heads up, liyana! Stay focused, stay determined!

nak share je..

1.

yesterday (i.e. sunday) i went to Joo Chiat to find a book for my cousin. she just got married on saturday. so i thought this particular book would be nice for her. masuk ke Toko Warisan.. setiap shelf tu, aku tengok dari atas ke bawah. mane eh buku tu? nak tanya juru jual, alamak, mcm segan plak kat brother tu. jadi aku pun tanyalah pak cik yang pakai baju merah. 'Oh, awak tanya dia', referring to the brother ah.. (walaupon brother tu nampak agak berumur daripada aku, still segan ahh..) k, takpe. tanya je lah, buat muka selamba.

aku pun bersuara, 'hmm.. ada buku Aku Terima Nikahnya tak? karangan ustaz Hasrizal...'

terus lelaki kat depan aku toleh (masa tu dia tengah belek2 buku). fuh! tetiba aku rase malu! Ya Allah! kenapa orang ni pusing kat aku? pelik nah ke aku tanya tentang buku tu. aku rasa kan, orang tu pernah baca, paling tidak, pernah dengar tentang buku ni.. by the way, aku bukannya cakap kuat2 kat juru jual tu, ok? memang tempat tu dah kecil. aku cakap dengan nada biasa je (tak nak bisik2 kot? nanti orang suspek ape plak..). ish. malunya.

anyway, juru jual tu tanya aku balik, 'buku dari malaysia eh?...' 'ya saya' 'buku baru ke..?' 'eh, dah lama jugak' '...kejap eh..' aku rasa dia gi call kawan kerja ke, boss ke.. kemudian, dia beritahu aku buku tu takda. awww.... terus aku fikir, buku apa aku nak belikan untuk kak siti? (at the same time, conscious lah yang lelaki yang toleh tu masih ada kat spot yang sama. nak gi browse buku2 yang kat shelf dekat dia pun, tak jadi dibuatnya)

akhirnya, aku tak belikan cousinku apa2.. tapi beli buku untuk diri sendiri adalah! hehe.. nak katakan, tempting betul masuk kedai buku ni. kitab2 turath yang sudah diterjemahkan dalam bahasa melayu dah kat depan mata. berbolak-balik hati ni samada nak beli atau tak. kalau nak beli, nak beli yang mana satu. klw tak kitab2 turath pun, kitab2 yang judul dan topiknya menarik perhatian aku, ada a few jugak. hmm.. bukan apa, aku pun terfikir kalau aku boleh tanya kawan2 dan pinjam je dari mereka. hmm.. rupa2nya, aku belum bersedia nak invest dalam kitab2 'ilmiah ni. teringat perbualan 'adilah, ust sakinah dan kak mariam tentang ma'radh kat mesir. seronok betul mereka bila masuk bab book fair nih. hee..

2.

sejurus mesyuarat selesai, bro tu tanya, 'anti belajar kat darul q---- eh?' i immediately went, 'huh? darul q----?' hairan sangat2 kenapa pertanyaan tu boleh muncul tiba2. sebelum tu, dia tanya aku buat apa kat airport tempoh hari. hantar kawan eh?.. 'adilah eh?.. anti dulu alsagoff? (dalam hati, 'duhhhhh -___-"') i dont mean to mock you bro.. ni sekadar expressi je. betul! harap tak tersinggung ye.

berbalik pada pertanyaan tadi -- kemudiannya dia tujukan pertanyaan cepumas. tak payah lah aku sebutkan apa pertanyaan tu. aku pun, 'huh? -------?' .. ' -nama- pernah kata dia belajar kat darul quran'.. aku membenarkan 'oh, ye, -nama- memang belajar kat sana'. k, meh kita pause kat sini.

bagi aku kan, kalau seseorang tu tiba2 tanya sesuatu, kemungkinan dia sudah tahu jawapannya, tapi bukan 100%. mungkin dia tahu dari orang lain, atau baca kat mana2. jadi, pertanyaan tu kira, nak confirmkan samada betul atau tidak apa yang dia dengar/baca. kadang2, dari cara orang tu tanya, kita boleh tahu yang dia ni betul2 tak tahu atau sebaliknya. i mean, dalam senario kat atas ni, dalam banyak2 benda yang boleh ditanya, kenapa soalan ni pulak yang timbul?

i dont think you read my blog, bro, but if you happen to stumble upon this post: afwan ye, saya tulis entry ni bukan bermaksud nak marah kat awak. bukan, bukan! saya cuma nak kongsi kisah pendek ni je, coz i find it somewhat amusing. (and a bit disturbing lah.. camne boleh agak nih?!).

dipendekkan cerita (yang dah sememangnya pendek), perbualan kami terputus. jadi aku 'terselamat' daripada menjawab pertanyaannya. i didnt, and dont, mean to be rude.. tapi aku tak tahu nak jawab apa. berat sungguh mulut ni. tapi pada masa yang sama, aku tidak mahu berbohong. hmmm...

kalau kau rasa kau penat, ada orang lagi penat dari kau, liyana!
kau tengok kak F tu, pengajian uni, apex, masjid, madrasah, tutoring.. dia lagi sibuk, lagi penat dari kau! kau buat apa? setakat seharian kerja kan? tak terlari sana, terlari sini.
kau tgk kawan kau, M, uni nya jauh, aktiviti belianya, madrasahnya, dan kem-kem yang dia rancang dan anjur. meeting sana, meeting sini.. dia lebih sibuk dari kau. meski memenatkan, masanya dihabiskan dengan benda-benda yang bermanfaat! liyana.. sebenarnya, kau punya lebih masa. siang hari, kau kerja, bukannya ada assignment mcm kat sekolah dulu. jadi gunakan masa yang kau ada ni untuk benda-benda yang bermakna. do something good, liyana! sebelum kau memasuki fasa seterusnya. bila kau masuk fasa tu nanti, masa akan jadi lebih sempit. kau tak tahu apa yang akan berlaku. jadi kau ada 'sekarang'. sekarang ni, kau nak buat apa?
aku kagum dengan kawan-kawan, lebih-lebih lagi yang masih belajar, yang luangkan masa dan tenaga untuk aktiviti-aktiviti luar. tapi, aku juga takut untuk mereka. aku risau tentang mereka. aku seperti mahu mengingatkan.. 'kawan, walau apa pun, belajar tu awla kan?'.. satu peringatan yang khasnya buat diri aku sendiri!
aku risau bila aku dengar, aku lihat, kawan-kawanku kepenatan, bercerita denganku tentang pelajarannya.. 'assignment banyak'.. 'argh, belom habis lagik'.. 'test!'.. 'itu.. ini..'.. aku risau tengok mereka risau. sebab aku takut pelajaran mereka terjejas. disebabkan penglibatan mereka dalam banyak aktiviti.
aku tahu, aku tak berhak nak larang mereka. aku tak berniat nak larang mereka. dan rasanya, nasihat 'manage your time well', 'balance k?' dah kerap didengar. tapi tu lah hakikatnya, kita MESTI TAHU bahagikan masa. sekali lagi, satu peringatan buat diriku terlebih dahulu.
aku tak nak sebab aktiviti kita, pelajaran kita sikit demi sikit terabai. aku tak nak ibadah kita terabai. aku tak nak tanggungjawab kita sebagai anak terabai. aku tak nak tanggungjawab kita sebagai ahli kumpulan terabai.
aku risau pisang akan berbuah dua kali bila aku masuk fasa seterusnya nanti. cukuplah aku mengalaminya masa tahun terakhir di politeknik.
i am worried for myself. i am worried for them.

dalam mrt tadi, bila ku dengar keluhannya, aku hanya mampu berdoa dalam hati..
rabbi yassir wa laa tu'assir alaiha..
rabbi yassir wa laa tu'assir alaiha..
daripada perbualanku dengannya (haa.. aku sengaja tanya itu, tanya ini..), aku dapat rasakan yang dia seseorang yang mahu dan suka membuat kebaikan. jadualnya sudah padat. dia nak buat, tapi takut tak mampu. amanah-amanah yang digalasnya sekarang pun, sudah cukup berat.
Mudahkanlah urusannya, ya Rabb, kerana ku yakin, dia punya kelebihan dan juga kesungguhan untuk memberi.


belajar tu awla, kan?

Winning is finishing...

Kite suker dgn lagu Miley Cyrus, The Climb. kite bukanlah peminat lagu2nya dan orangnya. tapi lagu ni lain sikit. lebih bermakna.



videoclip ni dari The Hannah Montana Movie. hehe.. you guessed it, I watched the movie. hah, ni kes tgh boring2 then takde movie best2 yang lain, so picked this one. i dont fancy the movie. pokok ceritanya taklah serious/substantial mana kot. but when it reached the scene above, i found myself concentrating on the song lyrics. relating it and reflecting upon it. yup, it was meaningful! touching too.

afterwards, kite teringat satu quote yang kite pernah cari dulu. bits and pieces. ape lagi, kite pon carilah kat notebook2 lama.. Yes! jumpa jugak akhirnya. di sini, kite nak kongsi dengan korang kata2 Joe Henderson. (tak ingat dari mana kite dapat ayat2 ni.)

Winning is finishing the distance you set for yourself, however humble it might be. Speed is a gift your parents either gave you or couldn't give you. You had little to say about it, so the time you take to run your distance doesn't say much about your spirit. But endurance and persistence are qualities that are largely trained and learned. Finishing is a victory of strong spirit over weak flesh.

dalam lagu The Climb, it's about going up. vertical. quote ni plak, gives me the impression of running. horizontal. (Joe Henderson ni seorang pelari kot?) haha.. ni tak penting lah sgt. apa yang penting, mesejnya sama :) serasi jugak lagu dengan kata2 nasihat ni. iya.. dua2 sebagai satu ucapan perangsang untuk kite. dan awak juga! ^__^

gembira bila dapat baca blog kawan2 dan kenalan2.. rase dah lama terperuk dlm kehidupan sendiri. siang hari, tak ade leisure time nak jenguk banyak2 blog. malam hari, malas benar nak mengadap komputer meskipun sebentar.

hmm.. tapi macam ade perasaan lain gitu bila baca blog mereka.. sedih? terharu? .. atau, rindu untuk bertanya khabar dan bertemu empat mata dgn mereka? atau, terkilan sebab kesibukan (tapi tak lah sibuk sgt pon) menjauhkan diri ni dari kawan2, membataskan kebebasan dan tenaga untuk ke sana ke mari..? atau, cemburu melihat hidup mereka seakan2 lebih seronok dan lebih bermakna?..

hmm.. macam2 benda kite nak cerita, nak luahkan.. tapi.. mm.. cari alasan ke? .. bukan sahaja di blog, emel pon dah liat nak dikarang mahupun dibaca, difahami dan diikuti.

ape nak jadi ye?

kadang2, rase kehidupan ni lamaaaa sgt. belom pon masuk dekad ke-2. tapi terasa yang diri ni dah tua. penat dgn kehidupan. tapi, perasaan sebegini tak lah selalu dlm kepala dan hati kite. alhamdulillah atas ape yang telah diberi. pikir2 balik, aturan Allah ni.. cantik! (sebagai contoh, bila kite teringatkan mase kite pergi interview untuk attachment tahun lepas.) hmm.. kite selalu teringat karakter Fahri membuat life plannya. kita perlu ada matlamat, ye tak? ape yang ingin dilakukan, ape yang ingin dicapai.. yup yup, kite pon ade buat. tak lah complete mana. buat masa ni, cukup untuk memberi motivasi kat diri kite ni untuk lihat ke hadapan. sebab sebenarnya, kita kadang2 tak nak lihat. takut dgn sesuatu yang tak pasti kot.

cakap tentang plan ni, moga dipermudahkan. sebab boleh jadi pendirian kita goyah bila ada sesuatu yang timbul yang berpotensi mengubah hala tuju kita. boleh jadi kita panik sebab tak sure nak stick to the course, atau nak mempertimbangkan sesuatu yang baru tu. boleh jadi ade sesuatu timbul.. dan sesuatu tu adelah benda yang kite naaaakkk sgt, atau rase 'bestnyerrrr'.. tapi, kita tak tahu ianya baik untuk kita atau tak. Rabbi yassir. sebab kita tak tahu cabaran2 ape menanti kita.

tapikan, kite takutlah. kite takut kite tak kotakan ape yang kite dah tulis. mungkir janji kat bukan orang lain, tapi empunya diri! kan zalim namanya tu?

semenjak dua menjak ni, hati tak tenang sangat. fikirkan keadaan sekarang. keadaan masa depan. cube untuk muhasabah.. lebih2 lagi ttg tahap spiritual diri.

kata2 sahabat dlm blognya terngiang2 kat kepala.. lebih kurang begini: 'memilih jalan ini bermakna memilih untuk ditarbiyah'.. kadang2 kite ulang kata2 ni kat diri kite sendiri.. seolah2 nak mencari pengertian. seolah2 nak memujuk hati ni. nak memberi sedikit kekuatan. pertanyaan kat benak ni sama dgn sahabat.. 'bersediakah aku? mampukah?'

ntahlah..

kite masih lagi mencari.

while in the train home just now, i was looking at my bag and realised that...

that...




my RR'07 pin badge was missing!!!

sedih?


sedih uh.. kenangan whoooaa...

mase kat meeting tadi, ade. so must have dropped some time between the end of the meeting and the train station platform.

hmmm... takpe lah.

(rasenyer, nak replace dgn badge ape eh? haiz~)

yang penting, pengalaman dan pengajaran dari RR'07 tu tersemat dalam ingatan.


--------------


mase kak aisyah sebut ttg seseorang yang dia lihat 'good.. saw him in action'.. tetiba teringat ttg facilitation. tak pasti lah kalau kak aisyah tgh refer to facilitation or something else.. tapi,

tu ah..

i suddenly miss facilitating. facilitating a group.

skill yang memang tak seberape nih, dah semakin berkarat. hmmm... tak nak skill ni jadi rapuh langsung hilang, sebab facilitation skill memang berguna dlm macam2 situasi. tapi camne ye? jadual padat. mane nak cari peluang2 untuk asah my facilitation skill?

hmmm.. k, takpe.

Wahai Diri,

dah dipanggil tu.. tunggu ape lagi??

another angelic voice

meet Andrew Johnston -



saw this clip on Oprah. mesmerizing, indeed! make the hairs on your back stand gitu. his voice reminds me of Jean Baptiste-Maunier, from Les Choriste. *aaaaahhh~~*

and then, meet Charice, who i first heard of two weeks back from my student-colleague, Marielle. Charice's voice is just :O whoa~~



when i first heard this song, from Marielle's hp music collection, i didnt quite pay attention to it. after a few times, barulah perasan that the tune is *nice* and the way she sings it.. kinda uplifting. whoa~ again. the lyrics is not bad too.

exams 12 june [T_T] LaZy 2 study says:
salam
analiy - Uwais al-Qarni says:
w'salam!!!!!!!!
analiy - Uwais al-Qarni says:
azizahhhhhhhh
analiy - Uwais al-Qarni says:
how are you?
exams 12 june [T_T] LaZy 2 study says:
l.i.y.a.n.a
exams 12 june [T_T] LaZy 2 study says:
im good
exams 12 june [T_T] LaZy 2 study says:
yourself?
analiy - Uwais al-Qarni says:
haha
analiy - Uwais al-Qarni says:
im in the pink of health

got to know that she's coming to singapore in august. mudah2an sampai! hmmm... yes, it's been a long time~

bila nak jejakkan kaki ke Perth? *eyes 'adilah* inshaAllah, eh, ti!

Nothing beats supportive parents.

Discuss.

bismika nahya

bismika nahya sélectionné dans Musique et Clips

heard this song one or two years ago.

then, minutes ago, i saw the name 'Amr Khaled' again. was reminded of this song. searched youtube. i think he is a.. talk show/documentary host? looks like he's got influence. hmm.. im curious about this guy.

anyhow, i was attracted to the song because of its title, Bismika Nahya. By Your Name, We Live. Dengan NamaMu Kami Hidup.

i'd like to find the arabic lyrics. some other time yea.

i am now at 2, 758 words and im only halfway done.

actually, i think i've typed way more that i should. they wouldnt want a 6-paged-and-counting article. but at the moment, i dunno how to cut down. so i'll just have to continue typing my original content. after which, perhaps, i can try to slough off some big chunks.

and...

i've passed the deadline, which was 4 days ago. Help!

book club

Had a funN, kelakar usrah tonight. tak boleh angkat sey! anyway, each of us shared one or more books which has significant/universal values. books that shook our minds, or affected us deeply, or appealed to us. so, the featured books:

Faisal Tehrani's Tunggu Teduh Dulu
Taufiqurrahman Al Azizy's Musafir Cinta
Mitch Albom's For One More Day, 5 People You Meet in Heaven, and Tuesdays with Morrie
(Dr) Katherine Hamlin's The Hospital by The River
Tania Aebi's Maiden Voyage

I wanna recommend that you guys read 1511H Kombat by Faisal Tehrani. CooL sey jalan ceritanya! a simple description i could think of is that this book is an Islamic action-thriller.. perjuangan in the future, with the sophisticated technology.. and of course, a pinch of 'cinta Islami'. back then, kak Nadiah praised this book and recommended me to read it. together with Advencer Si Peniup Ney. one or two years ago, i read Advencer, tapi baca agak sloww.. somehow i found it hard to digest the story. i think got a bit of tasawwuf/sufi stuff. and then, i borrowed 1515, a story of a Malaccan Malay/Muslimah srikandi by the name of Nyemah Mulya. macam best kan? but i didnt even get to half of the book. terlalu banyak sejarah, dan agak mendak sikit perjalanan ceritanya. i like history, but i think, bab sejarah melayu ni, kite tak minat. or maybe, it was merely because i ran out of time to read it. kak Ummu said Detektif Indigo "best!", but i've yet to get my hands on a copy. oh, lastly, Bila Tuhan Berbicara was an interesting read.

Musafir Cinta.. wah, mcm adik-beradik Ayat-Ayat Cinta and Gang, eh? tapi tak lah.. instead, this book is part of Makrifat Cinta trilogy by Taufiqurrahman Al-Azizy. the first book is titled Syahadat Cinta, second is Musafir Cinta, and finally, Makrifat Cinta. i dont know if the main protagonist is the same person throughout, or stories of different people weaved together.. about this book being a sequel pon kite baru je tahu dari internet. so ya, perhaps you all want to read 'em yourselves.

Mitch Albom's books are undeniably touching. the contents (and characters) are full of wisdom. and like what kak Hafizah said, they revolve around Death. i've read and watched For One More Day, and watched Tuesdays with Morrie. Ins.Pi.Ring. menginsafkan jugak; meskipun diorang bukan Muslim, but all of us can relate with the values, feel and appreciate the feelings and message that the author wants to bring across.

Dr Hamlin's story moved me. the sad state of affair in Ethiopia. the women with unfortunate lives. the suffering. the selfless effort by Dr Hamlin and her husband. their dedication. their expertise. their devotion to their religion. wooowww... this book has got me into thinking about what i wanna be, and can be, in the future. hmm.. somehow, it awakened something in me, but i dont know exactly what. amazing to see how far the two doctors have come, from the moment they stepped off the plane in Ethiopia to the establishment of The Fistula Foundation. one more thing that caught my attention: they were a strong team. as husband and wife, and as colleagues working together to build a system, an infrastructure, a safe haven for the many women in Africa.

I just finished Maiden Voyage very recently. im such a slow reader these days. whenever i take out the book to read, i prepared myself to be taken on a journey with her.. what she saw, what she experienced, in the different countries and on the oceans. i must admit, that i still dont understand all those nautical, nagivation, sailing, weather, and boat-related technical jargons. huhu.. there were times when i just couldnt digest, so i skipped the chunks of sentences. that aside, the mere idea of being in her shoes fascinates me. to go on a circumnagivation, on a sailboat, alone! and she was eighteen (i kept saying to myself, "what were you doing when you were eighteen, liyana???!"). seems like a dream adventure, ey? but no, it was tough and rough. more importantly, that was when she grew up and matured. Experiential Learning. On-The-Job Training. hmmm... wishful thinking, liyana?

Yupz, books are indeed a gateway to many things: fantasy, self-discovery, empowerment, wild imaginations....... and personally, i found it enjoyable to talk about books with each other. so that we can know who likes to read what sort of genres, or books/authors that we never knew exist but are awesome and loved by their readers..

May tonight's usrah be another session that brings us closer to each other and to being better individuals, inshaAllah..

Oh, oh! just before we ended, someone popped me an entirely unexpected question (sangat random sey!), to which my immediate answer was, "I'M STILL A KID!" *lol* nasib baik tak tersedak kite tadi. hehehehehehehe

Cant help but wonder though, was that a burning question, Marl? :P

anticipation

the top 3 movies i am lookin' forward to:

1. Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen
2. Angels and Demons
3. Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince

cantwaitcantwaitcantwait!!

by the way, how come the bad transformers are bigger, scarier and more powerful (i.e. they got more sophisticated and menacing abilities) eh?? TAK FAIR sey! Optimus Prime nmpk macam kecik je. and i have a feeling one or two autobots will die. *sobsob*

and i've just watched HP's theatrical trailer.. OHH MANNN!! i hope it's gonna be awesome. i know the ending is depressing, but seeing the superb effects lifted my mood. and this time, i wanna forget whatever i had read in the book. coz i can expect that the movie plot wont be the same as the book, like the previous installments (which caused me to end up getting disappointed!).

got to know that Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper has been made into a movie. i think im gonna put it in my 'Gonna Watch' basket, together with The Soloist.

I am the newest fan of Kris Allen!

His voice is just.... well, it melts me. *blush*



No, this time I am not following American Idol. Just so happen I was curious about the Top 5, so I watched the performance videos at the official website. And, my oh my.. Kris does show consistency and some professional singing. Quite an all-rounder. Adam Lambert and Danny Gokey are good too, though. I prefer them to be in the top 3. YEAH!

“ Ish..banyak tu. Macam-macam warna ada, “ tiba-tiba suara ayah menyapa dari belakang. Saya yang sedang asyik mengemas beg sebelum bertolak pulang ke kampus, menoleh dan melemparkan senyum malu-malu. Faham dengan sapaan ayah..apa yang dimaksudkannya banyak dan berwarna.


“ Mana ada banyak ayah. Tiga helai tudung lama, dua je yang masih baru“ saya menjawab ramah. Saya mengesot sedikit ke tepi dinding untuk memberi ruang ayah duduk bersila.


“ Baru atau lama tak penting. Yang utama tahu apa tujuan dan niat pemakainya. Bimbang tak terjawab nanti di akhirat sana, “ nasihat ayah. Masih sempat ayah menitip sepatah dua peringatan diri, walau nampak remeh tapi besar jika difikir jernih.

continue to read this blog post here.



"Yang utama tahu apa tujuan dan niat pemakainya. Bimbang tak terjawab nanti di akhirat sana."
cukup terasa. ya, satu peringatan buat diri.

Syamaa'il...?

visited kak khadijah's blog yesterday -

- few weeks back, there was an ijazah Syamail Muhammadiyah (it's a kitab describing Rasulullah 'alaihis salatu wassalam characteristics) at Jami' Salam somewhere near Jaubar, a city around 20 mins journey from Ruknuddin (the city my friends and me are currently staying in). Led by Syeikh Abul Huda Al-Ya'qubi -hafizahullah- , the event started at round 8:40pm and ended at almost 2 a.m.! no room to feel sleepy (although we all came after school) because Syeikh was reading the hadiths with endless enthusiasm, and from time to time, called out to the syabab below (the ladies were at the 2nd storey): "أين الصلاة على النبيّ؟؟" ("where's the salawat for our Prophet?"). so everytime the Prophet's name was mentioned, the jami' practically roared with salawat. Sukaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nah sgt!!! Terasa sampai ke lubuk hati…
!صلّوا على النبيّ

ghibtoh sangat2! Srikandi pula siap kata, "ya ALLAH... im jeles BIG TIME!!" *chuckles*


Kitab Asy-Syamaa'ilul Muhammadiyyah karangan Abu ‘Isa Muhammad Bin ‘Isa Bin Saurah At-Tirmidzi, ditahqiq oleh Sayyid 'Imran, diterbitkan (atau dicetak?) oleh Darul Hadith, Kahirah.

Last November, i met up with Suhailah, coz nak ambil kembali buku Salju Sakinah. bila dah jumpa, eh, rupe2nya ada bungkusan dari Mesir. Hadiah dari 'Adilah.... terkejut! dan terus terharu..

rasa lebih terharu bila kite buka bungkusan tu.. Ya Allah! 'Adilah ni macam tahu2 je ape yang kite nak. ;) belek punye belek.. maklumlah, first time dapat hadiah buku dari Mesir~ hati ni berbunga2.. berkobar2 nak belajar ilmu yang ade kat dalam.

tapi...

nak belajar kitab ni, takkan nak sorang2, tak berguru? dah lah bahasa arab kite lapuk sangat. boleh faham sikit2 je, kalau dibantu kamus Marbawi kesayangan, faham lebih sikit je. lebih2 lagi part footnotes nya. coz ade explanation ttg darjat/source hadith dan lain2 yang kite tak tahu.

kite ade jugak hantar emel kat kawan2, kalau mereka ade translation buku Syamaa'il ni. sayangnye, takde jawapan dari sesiapa. sedih jugak, sebab kite nak belajar, tapi kite takut nak baca dan fahamkan sendiri. satu silap kite: kite tak cuba cari ustaz atau ustazah, ataupon kakak2 senior yang boleh ajarkan.

semangat untuk menelaah kitab ni masih belom pudar. beberapa minggu lalu, mase tgh cari hadith2 ttg budi pekerti Rasulullah sollahu alaihi wa sallam untuk Tawassi Hadith, kite terjumpa website ni: http://www.inter-islam.org/hadeeth/stmenu.htm. Wah, tersenyum lebar kite time tu. tak sangka ade kat internet. hah, ni lagi satu kesilapan: tak cuba cari online. aiyo~~

dan beberapa minit yang lalu, kite terjumpa website ini pula: http://www.sacredlearning.org/classrooms/hadith/shamail_tirmidhi/index.htm.

Hadith Sessions - Shamail of Imam Tirmidhi
This compilation of hadith provides detailed descriptions of all aspects of the Holy Prophet [Peace and blessings be upon him] including his physical being, his manner of sleeping, his manner of eating, his speech, his character, his death, etc. Each lesson references the Arabic hadith and then provides a detailed explanation. All lectures are in MP3 format.


Ya Allah...... Alhamdulillah..! *beaming*

k, liyana, Allah dah beri kemudahan, jangan sia-siakan! tak dapat belajar, talaqqi kitab dgn guru face-to-face, belajar online pon boleh lah =) sikit-sikit, lama-lama jadi bukit. yang penting, istiqamah!

to all my readers, jom! let's get to know our prophet Muhammad sollallahu alaihi wa sallam. other than reading seerah an-nabawiy, Syamaa'il is another channel for us to learn about him sollallahu alaihi wa sallam, inshaAllah :)

Hizamy's brother passed away very recently. Adiknya bernama Muhammad Hariz bin Md Tarmizy.

Hizamy is the current NPMSS president. a chubby funny guy with a quran-reciting voice that is masyaAllah..~

Innaa lillaahi wa innaa ilaihi raaji'uun.



i remember saying few weeks ago, during a relite meeting at ghufran, that i might not even live to see the D-day. and now, 3 days after the camp, i am still alive.

Allah is still letting me live.

Alhamdulillah...

i am reminded of a song, played during D-Talk 2. Farshi Turab.. Dust is My Bed.

فرشي التراب يضمني
وهو غطائي
حولي الرمال تلفني
بل من ورائي
واللحد يحكي ظلمة
فيها ابتلائي
والنور خط كتابه
أنسي لقائي

والأهل أين حنانهم
باعوا وفائي
والصحب أين جموعهم
تركوا إخائي
والمال أين هناءه
صار ورائي
والإسم أين بريقه
بين الثناء
هذي نهاية حالي
فرشي التراب

والحب ودع شوقه
وبكى رثائي
والدمع جف مسيره
بعد البكاء
والكون ضاق بوسعه
ضاقت فضائي
فاللحد صار بجثتي
أرضي سمائي
هذي نهاية حالي
فرشي التراب

والخوف يملأ غربتي
والحزن دائي
أرجو الثبات وإنه
قسما دوائي
والرب أدعو مخلصا
أنت رجائي
أبغي إلهي جنة
فيها هنائي


with arabic lyrics and english translation --

dan seterusnya..

while waiting for the cab..

sis no. 1: so, you buat ape sekarang?
me: kite tgh tak kerja. focus on Re----.
sis no. 1: ohhhhhhh.....!! I got something for youu..!
me: Oh God..!!! *dramatic* I dont like the sound of it...!

sis no. 1: you know ape tu GGS?
me: aaaa... Girl Guide Singapore?
sis no. 1: bukanlah..! haha *laughing*
me: *thinking out loud* GGS eh? aaaa... Great Singapore Sale.. eh, tu GSS~ heh -.-"

in the cab..

me: so, GGS tu ape?
sis no. 1: it's G---- Go S-----. bukan Great Singapore Sale eh!
me: ohhhhh! korang nak revive G---- Go S-----? masyaAllah..!
(dlm hati: bestnyerrrr!!! ^__^)
sis no. 1: so we need someone who can...............................

senyum di bibir hilang sikit demi sikit.
terus terbayang ayah, dan pesanannya tadi. terus teringat tanggungjawab yang terbengkalai. terus teringat hal2 yang perlu diuruskan dalam NI.

me: hmmmm... oh, kite..................................
me: or, kite nak jadi anak buah. macam sekarang. it's a good experience for me.
(nak masuk dept ape eh? fnb dah pernah.. admin? dah.. ohh, logistics pon best jugak)
sis no. 2: ohh.. or we put u as mentor.
(dlm hati: HUH? mentor ape ke benda sey!)
me: taklah...! no, you see eh, mentor ni kena..
sis no. 1 cut off the conversation with something else..

sis no. 2 (or 1, tak ingat): ..be one of the 'think tanks'..
me: haaaa...? *put hand to face, terfikir yang sekarang ni dlm program dah byk kena fikir* tak nakkk

me: panggil lah kakak2 yang... macam...
sis no. 1: dah.. nama diorang ada..
sis no. 2: we are calling all u---- sisters
sis no. 1: ... so kita nak kacau2 (mix).. bila lagi you nak work dgn *insertname*...
(hmmm... got a point there)

sis no. 2: ..you are senior..
me: no! tak lah
sis no. 2: ...you have more experience..
me: hmmmppphhhhh...!
(okay, i gotta say something on this one --

personally, i dont get it. i dont believe i have more experience. to me, head atau vice head takde beza. pengalamannya lebih kurang sama. she had to work together with her head and vice-head.. mesti diorang delegate jobs kan. begitu juga kite. i wasnt 'at the top'.. instead, there were three heads.. me and two bros whom i believe had done much more than me. so what she and i had to go thru should be similar, if not the same. AND, it was just ONE experience. since then, i dont have any other experiences in S---. just that ONE. so, why did she say i have more experience?? astaghfirullah..!

senior? Ya Allah.. selepas RR'07, kite jarang terlibat dgn S---. i am not a senior. to me, a senior is one who's been there for many years AND have contributed so much.

afwan kak.. kite bukan nak marah kat kakak.. kita cuma tak leh terima bila orang kata kite 'have more experience'. kite yakin, kakak lebih banyak pengalaman dari kite. pengalaman yang diraih dalam S--- (sebab kakak aktif) dan juga di luar.

cakap ttg pengalaman, kita berbalik pada 'mentor'. kite nak jadi mentor?? tak boleh kak. sebab pengalaman kite sikit sangat. kite masih tgh belajar. kite rase, kite lebih suka buat kerja. on-the-job training. faktor umur pon kena diambil kira. takkan kite nak mentor mereka2 yang sebaya atau lebih tua dari kite? yes, umur mungkin kurang penting, sebab orang boleh kata dengan pengalaman lah kite boleh bimbing yang lain. tapi, kena match dgn 'profil' mentee jugak. sebab kalau mentor tu sebaya atau lebih tua dari mentee, lebih mudah dan cepat untuk mentee develop rasa respect dan 'mahudengardanmenerima'. lebih mudah juga bagi mentor untuk influence mentee. logik kan?

okay, klw kite nak jadi mentor untuk adik2.. mcm adik2 di beatty sec baru2 ni, mgkn boleh. tapi kalau nak jadi mentor untuk project S---, padahal kite baru setahun jagung, maaf, kite terpaksa tolak.

jika kakak tanye kite, 'tak layak atau tak nak?', kite kata, 'dua2nya sekali'. hmmm.. afwan, kite belom bersedia.)

and along the way in the cab, my thoughts were swimming.. couldnt quite concentrate on the conversation the sisters were having..

"...and i thought one is done and over with...."

"...have'nt u realised it yet?....why is it that....."

"...all these opportunities.... i tot i could run away. but, no. there must be something Allah has prepared for me to do.."

hmmm... meskipun kite minat sangat untuk menyumbang dalam G---- Go S-----, ada hal2 lebih utama yang menuntut tenaga dan konsentrasi kite selepas kem Re---- ni. tgklah camne.. taking one step at a time.

Mohon dipermudahkan..

Kawan-kawan,

kite nak kongsi dengan korang semua perbualan antara kite dgn seorang ukhti kite pada Isnin lalu, 6 April 2009. sebab kite rasa info yang ada dalam perbualan ni sangat berguna buat kita semua, inshaAllah. best, kan, bila dapat ilmu baru? ^___^

me: assalamu'alaikum, ustazah
my senior: wa'alaikumuusalam
my senior: ye
me: hadith yang 'hasanun gharib' bahasa melayunya ape?
my senior: hasan gharib
me: klw bahasa inggeris?
my senior: hsan gharib juga
my senior: heheh
me: gharib tu maknanya ape?
my senior: istilah itu tidak diterjemahkan
me: ooohh
my senior: mana dapat istilah ni
me: http://www.islamweb.net/newlibrary/display_book.php?bk_no=2&ID=1327&idfrom=1865&idto=1867&bookid=2&startno=2
me: coz ana tgh cari2 hadith yang suitable untuk tema 'ambassadorship' ... then, klw boleh nak gunekan hadith ni
me: untuk diberi pada facilitator kem
my senior: ana bimbnag hadithnya ada sedikit masalah
me: oh?
me: jadi klw ade hadith2 yang 'hasan gharib', lebih baik jgn gunekan is it?
my senior: no\
my senior: tidak juga
my senior: liyan kena tahu
my senior: istilah hasan gharib adalah istilah yang digunakan oleh imam al- Tirmidi dalam kitab sunannnya
my senior: ianya merupakan salah satu metod beliau dalam menyatakan hadith2 dalam kitabnya
my senior: hasan gharib di sisi
my senior: aimam al- tirmidhi bermaksud
my senior: hadith yang melengkapi syarat2 hadith sahih
my senior: tetapi KURANG SEDIKIT darjat KEDABITAN PERAWINYA
me: okaaaay
me: hmmmm
my senior: tapi..klau nak guna
my senior: tidak ada masalah
my senior: cuma kena pastikan ada tak dalam kitab2 lain hadith tersebut
my senior: kalau ada dalam bukhari muslim
my senior: tak de masalah
my senior: *smiley*
me: ana ade check kat islamweb.net... hadith tu ada dalam 'mustadrik alassohihain', 'sunan tirmidhi', 'sunan darimi' dan 'musnad imam ahmad'
my senior: ok
my senior: http://www.dorar.net/enc/hadith/%D8%AE%D9%8A%D8%B1+%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A3%D8%B5%D8%AD%D8%A7%D8%A8+%D8%B9%D9%86%D8%AF+%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%84%D9%87/+p



my senior: ana dah takhrij
my senior: ok lah tu
my senior: boleh guna
my senior: kat web tu..ada beri martabt hadith nya di sisi ulamk2 yang lain
me: waaaaaaaaaaahhhh
my senior: ?
me: tak sangka ade kemudahan camni
me: *big smiley*
my senior: ehhehe
me: *jakun jap*
my senior: kalau nak tahu martabat hadith le check kat web site tu k?
my senior: *smiley*
me: okay!
me: nak kata ni first time ana cari2 hadith
me: pusing2 kat sohihmuslim.com, sohihbukhari.com , islamweb.net~
me: haiz~
me: susah jugak eh
my senior: hmmm..hadith mmg susah
my senior: heheh
me: i mean, klw nak gunakan hadith ni untuk penulisan ke ape ke.. tak leh main2
my senior: *smiley*
my senior: tahniah
my senior: kerana peka ttg hal ini
my senior: barakallahu fik
me: syukran ustazah = )
me: dan maaf sebab ganggu ust time sibuk2 ni
my senior: cuma kaedah basic nya
my senior: bila jumpa satu hadith selain bukhari muslim
my senior: perlu disahkan
my senior: statusnya
my senior: dan jika sekiranya ianya dhaif
my senior: tidak bermakna ianya dhaif secara mutlak
my senior: sesebuah hadith dhaif
my senior: boleh naik tarafnya kepad hasan dan sahih
my senior: jika sekiranya ada sokongan dari pelbagai jalur periwayatan hadith yang lain
my senior: itu je...mgkn sebagai pendahuluan
my senior: *smiley*
me: syukran sgt2!
my senior: dan tak ganggu pun
my senior: ini kan amanah
my senior: *wink*
me: ohh... lastly,
me: klw ade 'rijaaluhu thiqah'
me: boleh digunakan jugak kan?
my senior: boleh
me: ana dah gunakan website yang ust bagi tu
me: heeeee
me: k best!
my senior: maknanya
my senior: periwayat hadithyan thiqah
my senior: kalau periwayat hadithnya thiqah...maknanya
my senior: tiada masalah
my senior: *smiley*
me: hmmm
me: lagi satu soalan
me: imam tirmidhi ade gelaran tak?
my senior: gealaran?
my senior: maksudnya?
me: http://www.islamweb.net/newlibrary/display_book.php?bk_no=2&ID=1327&idfrom=1865&idto=1867&bookid=2&startno=2

me: ada ayat 'qala abu isa hadza...'
me: so, im just wondering if abu isa tu imam tirmidhi
me: or if its someone else
my senior: ooo
my senior: mmg imam al- Tirmidhi lah tu
my senior: hehe
me: ohhhhhhhhh
me: k best!
me: = )

ta'ajub dengan kata-kata ini..

gambar: The Horsehead Nebula

dipetik dari: Ketika Cinta Bertasbih oleh Habiburrahman El Shirazy

gambar: butterflyrubrics.wordpress.com

The Aftermath

yesterday, as a lovely sister of mine and i stood at the side of the road, our backs on the glaring evening sun, she told me, "..we were chatting, happily talking to each other.. we didnt know what could hit us..." and i said to her, "yeah," i snapped my fingers, "like this."

and as i sat on the grass waiting for the cab to arrive, with her beside me, i stared at the greeneries, the branches and leaves with the sky as the backdrop, i thought about the people in the World Trade Centre, on that fateful day.. yeah, they had no idea what would happen to them.. never crossed their minds.. i imagined people busy clicking away their pc mouse, or talking over cups of coffee..

another of her words to me, that "life is fragile."

hmm.. and finally, after 30-40 minutes of waiting, the taxi came. and we left the scene.

****

worried that she wouldnt reach home for asar on time, she, for the first time in her life, prayed at the side of the road. never mind that vehicles were passing along~

and as she was praying, a simple thought came to my mind, "how nice it is to sujud anywhere.. it is His grass, His earth.." and i captured the picture of her praying into my memory ;)

****

she admitted that she was quite traumatized. "but you, you look cool and calm."

i guess i was.

funny, how there are people who, after a tragedy happened to them, have the time to think, have enough composure to ask themselves, "how should i feel about this?" like what my senior said in the sharing session during the meeting later that night. almost like a delayed reaction.

i guess i am one of those people.

and then i wondered, if i am actually in self-denial. trying to block out the images, to avoid from replaying that moment and reflecting on it. or maybe i am just physically and mentally tired, so i cant quite register the reality of what had just happened.

and today, as i was switching on my pc, already thinking of what i was going to share here, i suddenly felt that what happened yesterday evening was a distant memory. almost an illusion. and i still do not know how i should feel and react.

****

she asked me if i was alright. and i answered, "yes". only that my glasses were slightly bent. and because one of the nosepads was already missing, the metal grazed my skin, leaving a small scratch under my left eye.

but actually, i felt as though i was a bit giddy. i didnt know if it was my eyes or the lens of my glasses that suddenly show the world with extra clarity. wait, 'clarity' isnt exactly the right word.. hmm.. it's like.. 'bulging'.. but.. errrr... that's not accurate either. heh.

i was kind of afraid that i might be having a slight concussion. but hamdan lillah.. i was fine throughout.

she said i should go home. but i insisted on going to the meet. although i was a bit skeptical if i could concentrate, given the long day at the bukit gombak adventure centre (i dont know the actual name of the place) and insufficient rest from post-malay camp. and i was a bit worried my thoughts would wander around causing me to fall into silence and break down inside. but alhamdulillah... seeing the sisters at ghufran and discussing about the programme helped maintain my energy, my enthusiasm, my normal self.

****

i have yet to deal with what happened. hmmm... i pray that she and i will be alright.

****

Al-Agharr al-Muzani who was from amongst the Companions of Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) reported that Ibn 'Umar stated to him that Allah's Messenger (may peace 'be upon him) said: O people, seek repentance from Allah. Verily, I seek repentance from Him a hundred times a day.

Hadith no. 6523 in The Book Pertaining to the Remembrance of Allah, Supplication, Repentance and Seeking Forgiveness (Kitab Al-Dhikr) of Sahih Muslim

you know, just now as i was teman-ing fatimah solat asar, as i was leaning on the table, looking out the window, i said softly to myself, "why am i doing this?" as i gazed at the leaves of the trees, i asked myself again, "why am i doing this?" after she finished praying and we walked down the stairs to the canteen, that question disappeared again into the mist. then, as i was waiting for the bus, fidgety and anxious to get home, i repeated to myself, "why am i doing this?"

i couldnt convince myself of the right answer. i couldnt invoke the deep thinker in me.

i've realised this for quite some time now: that i'm always engulfed in the rush, in the technicalities, in the frustrations.. i keep forgetting to see beyond the sphere of work that eats up my energy, my time. i keep forgetting to reflect, to renew my niyyah, to always have faith and to work with a clear objective in mind. i keep forgetting the purpose of it all.. it seems that i'm always short-sighted.

i notice that i don't give enough time to sit down, to ponder and wonder about this. i need to do some soul-searching.

i need to get out. May Allah grant me the time, the money, the opportunity. may Allah ease my plan.

i can choose to stop and not be bothered, but my better half says that i must go out and give.

still trying to figure out..

can anyone lend me $800?????

i wanna buy a laptop.

haha.

but seriously ah, geram je tgk the deals offered at gumtree singapore.

got this HP Pavilion laptop dv4-1104TU at $800~

there's also Fujitsu E8410 at $850~

Lenovo S10 at $600~ wait, is this a mini? errr.. kite kurang minat mini notebooks~

and yang paling tempting: Sony Vaio VGN-CR353 at $1,100.

i know nuts about specifications, but, can always ask my brother or other brothers.

hmmm... dalam mimpi je lah eh, liyana.

earn your own money first, then can buy a laptop, alright?

*sighs and nods head slowly*

Ada Apa Dengan Facebook?

siang tadi, pukul 3 lebih, i checked my mail. okay, semua emel dah clear.

sepuluh minit yang lalu, checked again. haa..? 34 new messages..???

ku pikir emel-emel baru tu mungkin yang penting2.. atau yang bernas2.. ada isi. ku picit tab 'Inbox'.

oh laaaaa.... rupe2nye notification that si fulan "tagged/commented on a photo of you". aiseyman.. banyak sgt! macam menyemak lah pulak.

hmmm... sejak beberapa hari nih, ade je emel yang bertajuk "-- added you as a friend on facebook". ye, saye ade facebook account. tapi klw awak tak add saye pon tak rugi (heh), sebab saya tak gunekan (or rather, belom gunekan) ape2 kemudahan/applikasi yang ade kat situ.

conclusion: i dont understand why people semangat nah dgn facebook. -_-"

found :)

Last Friday, hati ni tergerak nak gi KPR. selama ni, pernah dengar dari marl, mus, kak maryam.. so, memandangkan hari tu last day exam, jadi konon2 nak 'celebrate' habis2an (mcm betOl je eh), i tot to myself, jom ah gi!

sampai ghufran around 7pm gitu.. after solat maghrib then we made our way to the classroom. someone was already there. immediately after i salam-ed her, a sense of familiarity struck me. a name was forming in my head..


"what's your name?"

"sekolah mana..?"

"were you from alsagoff..?"


indeed! she is the Yasmin, my classmate wayyyy back in primary level. Yasmin Hamzah.. she transferred to another madrasah when she was in primary 3 gitu..

masyaAllah...! what a coincidence.. what a coincidence. k, i need not explain further how i felt. im sure you've read my previous posts about meeting people whom i've not seen for a loOng time.

primary 2 or 3 kot

from the left --

1. Shahriza, is it? i forgot her name.. she also left the school some time during the primary school days.. but i know she has an elder sister who has bulu mata yang lentik and suka cubit hidayah johari.. sebab hidayah johari ade bulu mata lentik jugak. hehe.. i've no idea how to find her.. :(

2. Yasmin! yeah, i remember her as a short, quiet girl.. suara serak2 basah. sekarang.. lebih tinggi dari kite kot.

3. Hafizah Sariupua. alhamdulillah... both of us stayed on til sec 4. altho we didnt graduate the same year. oh yes, she is tallll.. macam syarafina jugak. and sweet, too :)

4. Mariam Said. another lost friend. we were play mates back then.. together with Kamaliah and Suraya. would like to meet her again..

so yeah, after 11 years, with His Will, i was in the same room as Yasmin again~ were busy chit-chatting til right before the class started.. aahh.. so much to ask, so much to know ^_^

you know, moments like this, kan, or particular points in life where i found or met someone with whom i've lost contact or not seen for ages, remind me of how long i have lived. it's like, wow.. it's been 11 years.. Allah has let me live to see today, now, this moment. mcm 'benchmark' gitu.. ermm.. not sure how to describe it exactly.. another example is RR. when RR'08 and ramadhan 1429H arrived, i realised.. "Ya Allah.. i'm still alive. You've given me another year (that is, measuring from RR'07).. one long year..*reflective mood*.."

hmmm... recently, on 15 feb, i bumped into kak Hafizah.. kat luar tpt solat perempuan kat mks. terus peluk dia erat2. one of the best feelings ever! alhamdulillah~ alhamdulillah~~~ sayangnya, kita sempat bertanya khabar je, coz she was leaving for a meeting. takpe, takpe. another time. oh, i also saw kak Izzah.. earlier ah.. mase CPR last.. umm.. december?.. meskipun tak rapat/kurang kenal, kite tetap rasa gembira dpt jumpa a senior :) haaa... sekarang ni, tgl kak Raihana je kite belom dipertemukan lagi.. in time, InshaAllah~



here's another picture, taken on the same day as the above pic. back row from left --

1. Syarafina. met her recently mase raihana's nikah ceremony. haiz~ sungguh dah dewasa dia ni! hehe.. seriously ah.. i feel like a child sey next to her. she is currently in KUIS, taking usuluddin klw tak silap. final year.

2. Hafizah Sariupua. dah lama tak jumpa dia. 2 years gitu kot? i think she's working now.

3. Farhana. she is in ma'arif, taking pre-u. (or dah grad?)

4. Sharifah. she's another long lost friend~ her sister, Khadijah, was also in the same class. two of my good friends that time. they left during primary 4 or 5 gitu. after that, terus tak dengar khabar. i really really hope to see them both again..!

5. Shari'ah. aaahh.. i wonder if i can recognise her if we were to pass each other in the streets?

middle row --

6. Khairunnisa Said. adik kepada Huda Said. i wonder how both of them are doing.. and how many kids Huda has now..

7. Mariam Said.

8. Shahriza.

im looking forward to more suprises that Allah has for me. i'm sure, bila Allah temukan kembali diri ni dan seseorang tu, it is at the right time. so, i shall wait =)

contoh anak mithali

Wasalam!on saturday eh..im really not sure bole tk coz tktau dad keje tak..but i'll try my very best to come n once i get e permission,i msg u ASAP..sori n thank you!

22:56:47
29.12.2008

this message was about the retreat which was going to be held on that weekend.

cuba teka, yang hantar sms ni lelaki ke perempuan?

...

..

.

lelaki? perempuan?

.

.

.

if you guess 'lelaki', yup, you're right! heee... klw perempuan yang hantar message sebegini.. tak lah hairan sgt smpi post kat blog, ye tak? haha..

bila baca kiriman di atas.. dlm hati ni terdetik, "alahai~ sweeetnyer dia" tersenyum sendiri kite dibuatnya. mcm terharu ah lihat anak lelaki *remaja* yang baik (insha Allah!). ingat untuk meminta izin dari mak, ayah. (tapikan, klw umur dah masuk 20-an, masih ade ke yang teruskan amalan ni? atau dah 'upgrade' kepada sekadar beritahu "mak, ali balik lewat malam ni. ada hal dgn kawan"? atau langsung tak beritahu apa2?) ye lah, bukan dia seorang je, bahkan, alhamdulillah.. banin yang lain pon baik-baik belaka :)

Ya Allah.. Jadikanlah kami anak-anak yang soleh dan solehah buat ibubapa kami.
Semoga apa yang kami lakukan disenangi dan direstui mereka.

Assalaamua'laikum wr wb

Beloved brothers and sisters,

Would like to say a big syukran jazeelan to one and all for your dedicated resolve and sacrificing spirit today!

May you be duly rewarded indeed. Barakallahu fikum!

As of 2200 hours today, the operation ended with 218 donations all accounted for and safely transferred over to Certis Cisco for processing. Insya Allah we will have full knowledge on the amount of proceeds on Friday.

Meanwhile, the donation drive also saw the activation of 400 activists, youth and volunteers who came from all walks of life to help in this cause, muslim and non-muslim alike.

This is an interesting number, and I think affirms that with a collective effort and driven activists, the road to igniting others into activism and perhaps, just perhaps fabrics or early steps towards social (re)construction is indeed possible.

Also, I sincerely hope that this network of activist will be binded further together thus being able to create bigger change into the society in the future. Doesn't matter what platform(s) we ride on but simply with a common fikrah or ideals and principles hence functioning in a collectivism that manifest into some impact and, yes, change.

Let's be a part of this wave of activism!

Thank you again and Hayakumullah ...

the street donation

alhamdulillah.. alhamdulillah.. alhamdulillah..

im glad i was there, at mjd sultan today.

[oh, before i go further, i just wanna request something: please dont go and cut-n-paste this post or send the link to your friends/organisation(s) with that note - heyy, we got good feedback from a volunteer! *insertsmileyface*. this is for your own read~]

most of the time i just manned the booth. to kill time, i tried to continue reading a book about the life of a neurosurgeon [informative, insightful, and kelakar gak! hee]. or, i would listen to the brothers' chatters. best jugak dgr diorang berbual nih. tanye diorang ttg course yang diorang ambil. tanye pasal army. bla bla bla.. well, kite ni suker tanye. dapat gak ilmu sikit2, info2 baru dari diorang.

dapat berkenalan dgn 2 particular sisters.. kak ida and one more.. uh-oh.. i dont know her name.. from NUS.

bila tgh jaga booth tu, byk kali gak someone just came and inserted $$ into the donation tins. pakcik, makcik, kakak, abang.. foreigners.. non-muslims. masyaAllah.. masyaAllah.. terharu! kita ade letak signage kat 2 of the front gates. they must've seen. yes, cukup gembira bila lihat tangan2 yang menghulur.

before zohor gitu, the crowd outside masjid got bigger. coz there was a function kat audi, so mereka ni nak pulang ah. ape lagi, me and another bro angkut the collection tins and approach them. tahmid.. tahmid.. my spirits lifted. i went around the masjid. eager to approach anyone in my way. just do it!

then, i kinda felt im not doing what im supposed to do. why on earth am i sitting in this chair? i was getting too comfortable and lazy ah.. hmm.. so,

after asar, 5.15pm; ohh.. 45 more minutes to 6pm. supposedly end at 6pm. so me ajak the sisters, "jom! lagi 45 minit je. let's do what we can!"... so me and the NUS kakak walked along sungei road *first time whoaaooo* turn to ophir road, then to bugis village. wah, kat sini baru kite nampak: people's behaviour and their response towards those who are collecting donations. their indifference. wooww [saying this slowly].. and myself, how i had this 'reluctance' to approach people.. kira pilih bulu ah.. you should just go, liyana! go! just do it!

we left bugis village and walked outside BHG, crossed the small field to raffles hospital and made our way back to mjd sultan. along the way, yeah, we held out the donation tins. i realise i like to smile. i mean, i feel happy.. no wait, it's more like, i feel good greeting people with a smile.. even though they may respond by looking away.. looking straight ahead.. yada yada. ntah lah eh.. i say to myself, go liyana.. just go.. show your enthusiasm. your spirits. treat people with courtesy. "thank you very much!" smile "thank you..!" heh, ade some moments gak nak cakap jazaakallahu khair out loud. managed to suppress it though. klw tak, mesti orang tgk kite lain macam.

haha.. i kinda braced myself when approaching a group of mat saleh teenagers.. my gut said they wouldnt donate. but what the heck? just go ah. yeah, and so, they didnt donate. it's okay. at least, i overcame the apprehension feeling, or whatever you call it lah.

i think, basically, what i got from here is.. to just forget about being shy. just do your thing, ya know? smile and ask politely. forget about being hesitant. yeah, i was trying to shed that.

but at the same time, perceptions were forming in my mind.. e.g. who are the ones who show most indifference and/or ignorance.

and it's touching to see people putting $$, especially notes.. some big notes too, into the donation tin.. especially, non-muslims.. Ya Allah, mudahkanlah urusan mereka.. Ya Allah, kurniakanlah HidayahMu pada mereka..

felt the warmth of joy when listening to sisters sharing their stories, some are cute, some are funny, some are 'grrrrr', some are 'awwwww'.. all in all, i enjoyed myself. since most of the time, i was glued to the booth.

it's humbling. knowing that He puts me in this, to learn, to experience. tahmid.. tahmid..

adding to that, i became more informed about 2 particular initiatives by our muslim youths: IM4U and MGN. im thankful for the conversations i had with bro ashraf and kak nadiah. it's humbling. knowing that there are fellow malay muslim youths, students, whom despite their school workload, have this passion. to islah. to improve. to change. now that, is inspiring!

[start lament]
hmmm... should've done more. should've taken one tin and gone all the way to cityhall or esplanade. raffles would be nice too. i admit, i sat more than i walked. guilty. somehow, i didnt go all out like i thought i would.
[/end lament]

btw kan, klw kita tgk, aktiviti ni macam biasa je. tak gah pon mcm RR. tapi, pengajarannya.. hmmm.. packaged in subtle ways. *breaksintoasmile*

alhamdulillah.. alhamdulillah..

when you read this post again, remember that you were thankful for today, liyana..

and then, i thought to myself.. about where i wanna go after this. should i stay, and contribute through these initatives and/or organisations.. or should i venture out, taking what i've learnt and sharing 'em with those out there.. and get a better worldview. coz i know i will learn something from new people, new places, new situations.

go out, and be the strength that people need.

be the strength.
be. the strength.

-inhale deeply and let go-

should i really go out?

there are already many people working towards the betterment of the community here. im glad for that. a lot of initiatives, movements, groups, programmes..
but what about outside singapore? do they have as much effort done there as here? how are the muslim youths there creating change to their muslim communities? how? who? how much? can i play a part too?

i gain strength from the wonderful people, brothers and sisters, i've crossed paths with, and from the experiences that Allah has allowed me to keep, remember, reflect upon and share. i know very well that it's not enough. maybe not yet enough for me to step foot on a new, foreign ground and start giving.

but the people here need your strength too. need not go far. look around and you'll see there's a lot of work to be done.

Ya Allah... help me..

[about 2 more weeks til NUS/NTU admission exercises end]

i shall end this post with a sort of conclusion, or rather motivational reminder, that could sum up today's lesson:

Give all that you've got.
But if you can't -
More importantly,
Never stop giving.. never.

Are You pleased with what we have done today, Ya Allah..?
*head bows down*