i have other points..
as i said, kt alj byk nah ujian, sbb ape??
byk sangat rijal, awlad..ish! pusing sikit, nmpk songkok, baju ade color biru kt kolar n kocek..ALLAH! nmpk jgk org2 yg familiar.. astaghfirullah..rasenye..mcm tk nk pergi lagi ape2 event kt aljunied.. distraction byk.. fikiran pon kdg2 tk betul!
i believe i've made sooo many sins today..my eyes..my eyes..my eyes..!
SIGH... 0_o
BANYAKNYE UJIAN!!
i just got back from al-junied.. ade majlis maulud..bagus ar..
actually i went there coz ade bazaar amal..n my mind was set to make khat-keychain..
biler sampai sane..MASYA ALLAH..rase mcm nk balik je..ramai betul rijal..malu!..lagipon me bukannye comfortable sgt biler ade kt tpt yg RAMAI SGT org..tpkan..yg baiknye ttg me dtg sini ialah..i got to meet LOTS of my kenalan..ex-alsagoff lah..mks...amazing islam..budak2 alsagoff pon ramai jgk yg dtg..haiz~~
baru sampai je dah berpeluh sakan! kt tingkat bwh, tpt dah penuh..so naik ke dewan (tgkt 2)..at first tk lah begitu ramai rakyat jelate.. but when i came up again aft doing some 'shopping'..WOW! packed! rate2 jemaah wanita yg belambak! makcik2..nenek2..sume nk dgr ceramah ustaz abdullah gymnastiar..oh well..honestly, i didnt get whatever jokes that he made..nvm
what did i exactly buy?? hijjaz long-sleeved shirt *all smiles!*, bookmark, keychain for myself..ade jual jam..nice one..but ehem, tkpelah..nmpk mcm eksklusif gitu, tk sesuai untuk dipakai di sekolah..
kt kedai khat tu...ish! ade aje org yg nk bikin keychain ataupun buttonbadge..ustaz yg ade kt situ, whoa!, pandai betul tulis khat.. i was like..*terpesona* hehe, n jealous of his skills; but in a gd way..brother2 yg buat khat kt situ pon orite jgk..hmm..this really boost my idea of opening a graffiti-khat-calligraphy stall @ pasar amal thn depan..
tp biler nk dkt maghrib gitu, i went w/ my mum to 'purchase' a buttonbadge..but the brother2 there hilang..alahai..kesian jugak, dr ptg td diorang duduk kt situ..tibe2 me terase malu pulak biler berdiri kt situ..tk tau kenape ah..then aft maghrib i went there again w/ murni..nmpk idil..dier kate brother2 tu tk ckp (??)..muke mcm blur gitu..yg do the talking was a pakcik..oh well, bagus jugak diorang nie..siqah ke?..i wish to write another thing abt one of the brothers, tp tkpe ah..tkt timbul fitnah ke ape ke.. :P
akhirnye..me dpt jugak badge tu..my nickname..tp syg, bukan bhs jawi, coz im not sure how to spell my nick dlm bhs tu, klw salah..dah lain makne..hmm..tkpelah..thn depan leh cube lagik.. :)
malam ade persembahan hijjaz..ok ar..but i didnt stay till the end of the show..tk kuase ah!
sepanjang mase yg me ade kt situ..me asyik jln sane, jln sini..paiseh jgk biler fikirkn balik..yelah..mungkin org akn terfikir: ape cerite budak nie, ulang-alik2..muke dier jgk! hah! budak yg jual air tu..nmpk mcm familiar..tk silap i know him from bengkel thfz kt mks..i think he's quite handsome :P..mest dah besar nnt ade peminat..way to go, kiddo!
ok lah..mls nk sambung lagi..bye!
actually i went there coz ade bazaar amal..n my mind was set to make khat-keychain..
biler sampai sane..MASYA ALLAH..rase mcm nk balik je..ramai betul rijal..malu!..lagipon me bukannye comfortable sgt biler ade kt tpt yg RAMAI SGT org..tpkan..yg baiknye ttg me dtg sini ialah..i got to meet LOTS of my kenalan..ex-alsagoff lah..mks...amazing islam..budak2 alsagoff pon ramai jgk yg dtg..haiz~~
baru sampai je dah berpeluh sakan! kt tingkat bwh, tpt dah penuh..so naik ke dewan (tgkt 2)..at first tk lah begitu ramai rakyat jelate.. but when i came up again aft doing some 'shopping'..WOW! packed! rate2 jemaah wanita yg belambak! makcik2..nenek2..sume nk dgr ceramah ustaz abdullah gymnastiar..oh well..honestly, i didnt get whatever jokes that he made..nvm
what did i exactly buy?? hijjaz long-sleeved shirt *all smiles!*, bookmark, keychain for myself..ade jual jam..nice one..but ehem, tkpelah..nmpk mcm eksklusif gitu, tk sesuai untuk dipakai di sekolah..
kt kedai khat tu...ish! ade aje org yg nk bikin keychain ataupun buttonbadge..ustaz yg ade kt situ, whoa!, pandai betul tulis khat.. i was like..*terpesona* hehe, n jealous of his skills; but in a gd way..brother2 yg buat khat kt situ pon orite jgk..hmm..this really boost my idea of opening a graffiti-khat-calligraphy stall @ pasar amal thn depan..
tp biler nk dkt maghrib gitu, i went w/ my mum to 'purchase' a buttonbadge..but the brother2 there hilang..alahai..kesian jugak, dr ptg td diorang duduk kt situ..tibe2 me terase malu pulak biler berdiri kt situ..tk tau kenape ah..then aft maghrib i went there again w/ murni..nmpk idil..dier kate brother2 tu tk ckp (??)..muke mcm blur gitu..yg do the talking was a pakcik..oh well, bagus jugak diorang nie..siqah ke?..i wish to write another thing abt one of the brothers, tp tkpe ah..tkt timbul fitnah ke ape ke.. :P
akhirnye..me dpt jugak badge tu..my nickname..tp syg, bukan bhs jawi, coz im not sure how to spell my nick dlm bhs tu, klw salah..dah lain makne..hmm..tkpelah..thn depan leh cube lagik.. :)
malam ade persembahan hijjaz..ok ar..but i didnt stay till the end of the show..tk kuase ah!
sepanjang mase yg me ade kt situ..me asyik jln sane, jln sini..paiseh jgk biler fikirkn balik..yelah..mungkin org akn terfikir: ape cerite budak nie, ulang-alik2..muke dier jgk! hah! budak yg jual air tu..nmpk mcm familiar..tk silap i know him from bengkel thfz kt mks..i think he's quite handsome :P..mest dah besar nnt ade peminat..way to go, kiddo!
ok lah..mls nk sambung lagi..bye!
wasting my time
hey there...
ive been spending more than an hour editing this blog.. what a waste! i shouldv'e done something that's obviously MORE MORE MORE important!! that's how it is...always. lazy, procrastinating, me!
anyway...this is the first time im writing something here since..aaa..4 months ago?..
im in sec 4 now..i think it's going to be a year with lots and lots of strenous/strenuos(??) work/duty/jobs to do..it's already exhausting me..tiring me everyday... ish! do u understand what im talking about??
anyway..what im trying to say is that..there's a lot of 'tanggungjawab' im trying to cope with...many distrations that distract me away from my so-called 'mission', that is, to study hard for the o levels..waaaaahhh~~~
i was bloghopping just now, and i stumbled upon bro ashraf's
blog.. he was the zipcentres' i/c in project zip!
ok, i better log off now..bye!
ive been spending more than an hour editing this blog.. what a waste! i shouldv'e done something that's obviously MORE MORE MORE important!! that's how it is...always. lazy, procrastinating, me!
anyway...this is the first time im writing something here since..aaa..4 months ago?..
im in sec 4 now..i think it's going to be a year with lots and lots of strenous/strenuos(??) work/duty/jobs to do..it's already exhausting me..tiring me everyday... ish! do u understand what im talking about??
anyway..what im trying to say is that..there's a lot of 'tanggungjawab' im trying to cope with...many distrations that distract me away from my so-called 'mission', that is, to study hard for the o levels..waaaaahhh~~~
i was bloghopping just now, and i stumbled upon bro ashraf's
blog.. he was the zipcentres' i/c in project zip!
ok, i better log off now..bye!
SORRY, people!!!
ok, i'll make this quick...i just wanna say sorry for not updating this blog for a loooong time..why sorry? well, maybe there are bloghoppers out there who want to know the 'continuation' of the life of nlnm_k`u_jee...anyway, A LOT has happened since i last update this blog...i just dont have the time to type it up...moreover, my comp rosak...i dunno when it'll be alive again... hmm.. i got to go now, skrg nie kt library tampines..lps nie nk gi polar cake shop @ TM plak (yum!)... ok people, bye! last but not least, SELAMAT HARI RAYE!!!
the time has come..jeng*jeng*
nggak ada apa2, actually. cume hari nie dah start CA2..haiz~~ baru berape bulan azam aku menggunung...tp..tk buat jugak! resolution ape nih?! nvm..alhamdulillah..paper td senang..biase ah..ust yaakob ajar..tauhid..but, BUT.. me tk dpt full marks *sad*..i think im going to get 52-55 for this one..im aiming to score 90% overall utk CA2 nie..tp tgk ah camne..dah lah hafal last minute - n i mean last..minute! - masuk dlm otak pon temporary..klw ingat lucky ah..moreover, i dunno what's going to happen to me in the next 9 days..harap2 sihat ah..jd mood blajar tu tetap ade..amiin..
ok ah, i think that's all...tk byk cerite ah..sowie..i noe this page's a bit boring lately..i just cudn't find the time to retell the stories of the day..
ok ah, i think that's all...tk byk cerite ah..sowie..i noe this page's a bit boring lately..i just cudn't find the time to retell the stories of the day..
pantang larang...alahai~~
nur aisyah hantar me this email on monday 160804...*nice* berfaedah jugak ah...sedar tk sedar, kitwe buat bende2 cam gini..btw klw krg nk copy from here, boleh ah...then pass to other people,ok?? jd org lain pon dpt jgk ilmu nih! hehe.. ;p
Dalam Kitab Al- Baqarah Fii fadl Lis Sa'yiwal Harokah yang di susun oleh Abi Abdillah Muhammad Bin Abdulrahman Al Habsyi telah diterangkan perkara - perkara yang mempunyai hubung kait dengan kesusahan seseorang. Iaitu..
* Tidak Solat
* Bila hendak makan tidak membaca Bismillah
* Makan di atas pinggan yang terbalik
* Memakai kasut memulakan dengan sebelah kiri
* Menganggap ringan apa - apa yang terjatuh dalam hidangan makanan
* Berwuduk di tempat membuang air besar atau kecil
* Suka bersandar pada pintu rumah
* Suka duduk di atas tangga
* Membiasakan diri membasuh tangan dalam pinggan selepas makan
* Membasuh tangan dengan tanah @ tepung
* Tidak membersih rumah
* Membuang atau menyapu sampah dengan kain
* Suka membersih rumah pada waktu malam
* Suka tidur atas muka
* Membakar kulit bawang
* Menjahit baju yang sedang dipakai
* Mengesat muka dengan baju
* Berdiri dengan bercekak pinggang
* Tidur tidak pakai baju
* Makan sebelum mandi junub ( mandi hadas )
* Tergesa - gesa keluar masjid selepas sembahyang ( subuh )
* Matahari belum terbit sudah pergi ke pasar
* Lambat pulang dari pasar
* Berdoa hal yang tidak baik
* Tidak menutup makanan yang dihidangkan
* Suka memadam lampu minyak tanah atau lilin dengan nafas
* Membuang kutu kepala dalam keadaan hidup
* Membasuh kaki dengan tangan kanan
* Suka kencing pada air yang mengalir
* Memakai seluar sambil berdiri
* Mandi junub di tempat buang air atau najis
* Makan dengan menggunakan dua jari
* Berjalan antara dua kambing
* Berjalan antara dua LELAKI
* Suka meletakkan jari tangan di atas bahagian lutut
* Meletakkan tapak tangan di hidung
* Suka menggigit kuku
* Suka mendedahkan aurat di bawah sinar matahari @ bulan
* Mengadap kiblat ketika buang air
* Menguap ketika solat
* Meludah di tempat buang air
Dalam Kitab Al- Baqarah Fii fadl Lis Sa'yiwal Harokah yang di susun oleh Abi Abdillah Muhammad Bin Abdulrahman Al Habsyi telah diterangkan perkara - perkara yang mempunyai hubung kait dengan kesusahan seseorang. Iaitu..
* Tidak Solat
* Bila hendak makan tidak membaca Bismillah
* Makan di atas pinggan yang terbalik
* Memakai kasut memulakan dengan sebelah kiri
* Menganggap ringan apa - apa yang terjatuh dalam hidangan makanan
* Berwuduk di tempat membuang air besar atau kecil
* Suka bersandar pada pintu rumah
* Suka duduk di atas tangga
* Membiasakan diri membasuh tangan dalam pinggan selepas makan
* Membasuh tangan dengan tanah @ tepung
* Tidak membersih rumah
* Membuang atau menyapu sampah dengan kain
* Suka membersih rumah pada waktu malam
* Suka tidur atas muka
* Membakar kulit bawang
* Menjahit baju yang sedang dipakai
* Mengesat muka dengan baju
* Berdiri dengan bercekak pinggang
* Tidur tidak pakai baju
* Makan sebelum mandi junub ( mandi hadas )
* Tergesa - gesa keluar masjid selepas sembahyang ( subuh )
* Matahari belum terbit sudah pergi ke pasar
* Lambat pulang dari pasar
* Berdoa hal yang tidak baik
* Tidak menutup makanan yang dihidangkan
* Suka memadam lampu minyak tanah atau lilin dengan nafas
* Membuang kutu kepala dalam keadaan hidup
* Membasuh kaki dengan tangan kanan
* Suka kencing pada air yang mengalir
* Memakai seluar sambil berdiri
* Mandi junub di tempat buang air atau najis
* Makan dengan menggunakan dua jari
* Berjalan antara dua kambing
* Berjalan antara dua LELAKI
* Suka meletakkan jari tangan di atas bahagian lutut
* Meletakkan tapak tangan di hidung
* Suka menggigit kuku
* Suka mendedahkan aurat di bawah sinar matahari @ bulan
* Mengadap kiblat ketika buang air
* Menguap ketika solat
* Meludah di tempat buang air
Letters Of Words
i received the email below from kak Nitty Murni (u noe her? :>) on Sunday, 150804... she was one of the camp facilitators at alsagoff/prisma camp@sentosa in 2001, still young, me that is, in primary 6..the camp wasnt a pleasant n memorable adventure for me..but it's okay, i guess..
The Word of Islam ?
The Most Selfish One-Letter Word
"I"
Avoid It
(Surah Al Kahf 18:34)
The Most Satisfying Two-Letter Word
"WE"
Use It
Surah Al An'am 6:71-72
The Most Poisonous Three-Letter Word
"EGO"
Kill It
Surah Al Qasas 28:78
The Most Used Four-Letter Word
"LOVE"
Value It
(Surah Al Rum 30:21)
The Most Pleasing Five Letter Word
"SMILE"
Keep It
(Surah Al Najm 53:43)
The Fastest Spreading Six-Letter Word
"RUMOUR"
Ignore It
(Surah Al Hujurat 49:12)
The Hardest Working Seven Letter Word
"SUCCESS"
Achieve It
(Surah Al Nur 24:37-38)
The Most Enviable Eight-Letter Word
"JEALOUSY"
Distance It
(Surah Yusuf 12:8-9)
The Most Powerful Nine-Letter Word
"KNOWLEDGE"
Acquire It
(of Allah & the Holy Qu'ran) Surah Ya Sin 36:2
Surah Yusuf 12:2
The Most Essential Ten-Letter Word
"CONFIDENCE"
Trust It
(Trust in Allah's Guidance)
Surah Yunus 10: 9
Surah Al Tawbah 9:51
The Word of Islam ?
The Most Selfish One-Letter Word
"I"
Avoid It
(Surah Al Kahf 18:34)
The Most Satisfying Two-Letter Word
"WE"
Use It
Surah Al An'am 6:71-72
The Most Poisonous Three-Letter Word
"EGO"
Kill It
Surah Al Qasas 28:78
The Most Used Four-Letter Word
"LOVE"
Value It
(Surah Al Rum 30:21)
The Most Pleasing Five Letter Word
"SMILE"
Keep It
(Surah Al Najm 53:43)
The Fastest Spreading Six-Letter Word
"RUMOUR"
Ignore It
(Surah Al Hujurat 49:12)
The Hardest Working Seven Letter Word
"SUCCESS"
Achieve It
(Surah Al Nur 24:37-38)
The Most Enviable Eight-Letter Word
"JEALOUSY"
Distance It
(Surah Yusuf 12:8-9)
The Most Powerful Nine-Letter Word
"KNOWLEDGE"
Acquire It
(of Allah & the Holy Qu'ran) Surah Ya Sin 36:2
Surah Yusuf 12:2
The Most Essential Ten-Letter Word
"CONFIDENCE"
Trust It
(Trust in Allah's Guidance)
Surah Yunus 10: 9
Surah Al Tawbah 9:51
oh no!! CA dah dekat!! tidakkk!!
ok..ok..it's been days since my last entry..im just not in the mood to write about the days ive been through..nothing special or bizarre..since national celebration tu...hah! about tu pon me malas nk ceritekn..! summary: GREAT DAY!
niwei..have i told you about the essay comp @ alarabiah?? i got the consolidation prize..sedih jgk ah..of course, ive been expecting to get saguhati..as my essay content was totally out! but, the sixth n last place??! haiz~ mmg lah diorang tk sebut periodically (???) tp mcm obvious gitu ah..alahai! gasak ah..wateva!
pasal CA2 plak...seram~seram~..i hope i manage to make it through easily..as always *it's easier said than done*
niwei..have i told you about the essay comp @ alarabiah?? i got the consolidation prize..sedih jgk ah..of course, ive been expecting to get saguhati..as my essay content was totally out! but, the sixth n last place??! haiz~ mmg lah diorang tk sebut periodically (???) tp mcm obvious gitu ah..alahai! gasak ah..wateva!
pasal CA2 plak...seram~seram~..i hope i manage to make it through easily..as always *it's easier said than done*
what a day TODAY was!! (huh??)
i have a confession to make: sometimes i HATE ust ratna, i HATE the way my school is, i HATE my friends, i HATE my responsibility - present n future, i HATE prisma, i HATE the members, i HATE the fact that my plans dont work, i HATE the feeling of embarrassment n giving up..bcoz of the neglected n rejected plans, i HATE my family, i HATE myself, i HATE my life..but then, i must not hate these things..i must accept them..be a good girl..learn to like, love, cope, with these things..bla..bla..bla..
i was at my worst today..i've been a bit sensitive lately..on everage, i cry every 8 or 9 days..one small factor can make me all tense up..stressed..tired..mind blurred..cry..n the factor isnt A factor anymore..lots of things n thoughts, being kept at the back of my head, jump out again..jumbled together..making me more frustrated n confused..i just want it to stop..all the flow..im tired of thinking.. a lot of thinking..too much..so, today's catalyst was the prisma's so-called proposal to do an activity for the 'loiterers' n 'extras' at the national day celebration-cum-sports day tomorrow..it was rejected..i guess it was a bit fine to me..but the one that hit me most.......i cant explain..i dunno how to explain..not sure..u might get the wrong idea..or I might give the wrong expression..hmm..it's in my head..but it refuses to come out..dunno..dunno..dunno..hah! another thing that makes my tears swell up (???) is when i cannot let my thoughts n feelings out while the space in my head, mind, heart has become sooo tight, airless..n yet i cannot exhale the burden..so, that's why i wont tell people my dilemmas n deep thoughts, even if i have many of them..coz i cannot explain it through words..
the story is too long..perhaps some of you might've seen my eyes at school around 2 pm..nvm..im alright..but..have i told you that im sick in the head??
i was at my worst today..i've been a bit sensitive lately..on everage, i cry every 8 or 9 days..one small factor can make me all tense up..stressed..tired..mind blurred..cry..n the factor isnt A factor anymore..lots of things n thoughts, being kept at the back of my head, jump out again..jumbled together..making me more frustrated n confused..i just want it to stop..all the flow..im tired of thinking.. a lot of thinking..too much..so, today's catalyst was the prisma's so-called proposal to do an activity for the 'loiterers' n 'extras' at the national day celebration-cum-sports day tomorrow..it was rejected..i guess it was a bit fine to me..but the one that hit me most.......i cant explain..i dunno how to explain..not sure..u might get the wrong idea..or I might give the wrong expression..hmm..it's in my head..but it refuses to come out..dunno..dunno..dunno..hah! another thing that makes my tears swell up (???) is when i cannot let my thoughts n feelings out while the space in my head, mind, heart has become sooo tight, airless..n yet i cannot exhale the burden..so, that's why i wont tell people my dilemmas n deep thoughts, even if i have many of them..coz i cannot explain it through words..
the story is too long..perhaps some of you might've seen my eyes at school around 2 pm..nvm..im alright..but..have i told you that im sick in the head??
i did make it..ho.ho. :|
ok, so... i won..yeah! wow! bravo! duh, as if i care! the problem is..just like the quiz..i dont feel the excitement of winning! i shouldve been proud..but im not..mayb i deserve the cup..since i stood out (or stuck out??) from everybody else..but to me..i shouldve performed better.. i thank Allah though.. of course, me terharu.. thank You, Allah.. for giving me the chance to win again..thank you... la'in syakartum la aziidannakum.. yes..im grateful.. for it couldve been worst..!
BUT..but...i dunno...what's wrong with me?! YOU WERE GOOD, LIYANA..! YOU ARE GOOD! BELIEVE IT, YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE GOOD! YOU CANT HIDE YOUR TALENTS..COZ PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY SEEN IT..THEY KNOW..!
hmm..the competition was a bit tight though..pelajar maarif tu bagus! lancar..isi ade..mayb intonasi suara, gaye kurang sikit ar.. mwti pon best! bersemangat..tp eye-contact n gaye tk cukup...aljunied?? haiz~~ tok sah ckp... me ingatkn cikgu amini trained dier betul2, yelah, thn lepas, pelajarnye MENGARUT!...thn nie, walad aljunied tu siap pakai school blazer..me dah seram! tp biler naik stage..my first impression went down the drain..whoosh!..tgk nota, teragak2, gaye kurang..eventually, he got the 6th place..by the way, it wasnt a BIG victory, i got 87, almaarifan 85, mwti 82/83..punye lah dekat! narrow escape ah..i think that was one of the reason i didnt feel great about my winning the competition..another factor is that me tk lancar sgt, there were about 2/3/4 times where i forgot my line..at that point..i already assumed that i blow it...but the rest of my speech... orite ah..i think my strength is the way i express my thoughts/speech..penuh gaye gitu ah..concentration..im good at that, i guess :)
BUT..but...i dunno...what's wrong with me?! YOU WERE GOOD, LIYANA..! YOU ARE GOOD! BELIEVE IT, YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE GOOD! YOU CANT HIDE YOUR TALENTS..COZ PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY SEEN IT..THEY KNOW..!
hmm..the competition was a bit tight though..pelajar maarif tu bagus! lancar..isi ade..mayb intonasi suara, gaye kurang sikit ar.. mwti pon best! bersemangat..tp eye-contact n gaye tk cukup...aljunied?? haiz~~ tok sah ckp... me ingatkn cikgu amini trained dier betul2, yelah, thn lepas, pelajarnye MENGARUT!...thn nie, walad aljunied tu siap pakai school blazer..me dah seram! tp biler naik stage..my first impression went down the drain..whoosh!..tgk nota, teragak2, gaye kurang..eventually, he got the 6th place..by the way, it wasnt a BIG victory, i got 87, almaarifan 85, mwti 82/83..punye lah dekat! narrow escape ah..i think that was one of the reason i didnt feel great about my winning the competition..another factor is that me tk lancar sgt, there were about 2/3/4 times where i forgot my line..at that point..i already assumed that i blow it...but the rest of my speech... orite ah..i think my strength is the way i express my thoughts/speech..penuh gaye gitu ah..concentration..im good at that, i guess :)
today's the DAY
but honestly, im not really excited or whatsoever..i just hope i can make it..my school is depending on me...urgh!..it's the lack of practice i guess..so i dont have much confidence..n i have to set my intention..one thing is certain though, i have stomach cramps n my heart 'kecut' n beats very fast that i think it wud burst any minute...everytime i think about the competition..another 6-7 hours to go..by the way, if u're totally clueless about what im talking about..it's the syarahan inter-mad competition @ alsagoff sempena maulidur rasul..haiz...
wish me luck!..no, wait! i dont need that..coz people wishing me luck doesnt make any difference to me..it might motivate me more as the people show me their support..but then, no! it kinda stresses me out..the hope..the burden..most importantly, i think, it's up to the individual to do the best..tkkn wishes of luck boleh automatically help...confidence matters, whatever people say...
wish me luck!..no, wait! i dont need that..coz people wishing me luck doesnt make any difference to me..it might motivate me more as the people show me their support..but then, no! it kinda stresses me out..the hope..the burden..most importantly, i think, it's up to the individual to do the best..tkkn wishes of luck boleh automatically help...confidence matters, whatever people say...
tale told
i wrote the account below in the mrt.. monday 130704 1700H
lepas satu, satu! dah satu, dua! lepas two, tige! haiz~ mcmanelah aku nak hidup!!! klw hidup pun asyik rush aje! you know wat i mean?
yelah, thn nih mcm2 bende ana masuk! first, bahas then prdn current affair & bahase...dah tu kuiz ste...lepas nih essay writing..muke aku lagik!!! argh! mintak2 lah peraduan syarahan @ alsagoff i wont be selected. PENAT ah! org nk relax pon susah!haiz~ pelajar2 lain pon, nnti ape plak diorang kate! ye tk?? lepas tu, tahun dpn klw tkde aral..kuiz STE 2005 kelibat aku lagi, mungkin jgk bahas PBH2005!
i dunno man..klw bagus tk pe jgk! masalahnye, im not THAT GOOD! im not what most people think i am..! bahas me blabbered, yg kuiz c.a.&bahase tu soalan2nye ngarutz..so it didnt really test my ability! kuiz STE..I DIDNT DO A DAMN THING!!! i just sat there..supporting my team..so when we won..i feel that i dont deserve it..mcm tk fair gitu i got the plaque, money n attention when i only contributed 6-8 marks! dah lah tk blajar! so the SATISFACTION's not there! aaah! tk tau ah camne nk ckp lgk! dont u people understand???!!!
ESSAY-WRITING COMP???!! yeah, right! as if i could pen my lousy ideas into sensible sentences within 1 1/2 or 2 hours! it's IMPOSSIBLE! even if i manage to do it, it'll be a boring n content-less one! i've had my experiences!
BUT WHY DO THEY CHOOSE ME??! i feel so inferior rite now..so powerless..feel like a hyprocite.. making people believe that i'm the clever one when im 10000 mile far from that fact!... as always..im not good enough..im not the brilliant n genius one as they think..im just a drop of water molecule in an ocean of more intelligent n superior community! im so dumb, ignorant, compared to ri, rgs, and other students out there, who get straight A's, who made a difference to their people, who get first class honours in their ceritificates, who cud contribute creative ideas, innovative, productive, who are aware of their surroundings n the big world!
on the contrary, im just a lazy girl, SLEEPYHEAD, so-called excellent student @ MAA, using up my energy for things that dont really matter, taking The GIFT for granted! n my marks are just 85%..!
haaaaiii..dah ah, me stop sini je..a'kum!
signing off, liyana @ 5:23pm
what a confession, huh?! n did i tell u: im sick in the head?
lepas satu, satu! dah satu, dua! lepas two, tige! haiz~ mcmanelah aku nak hidup!!! klw hidup pun asyik rush aje! you know wat i mean?
yelah, thn nih mcm2 bende ana masuk! first, bahas then prdn current affair & bahase...dah tu kuiz ste...lepas nih essay writing..muke aku lagik!!! argh! mintak2 lah peraduan syarahan @ alsagoff i wont be selected. PENAT ah! org nk relax pon susah!haiz~ pelajar2 lain pon, nnti ape plak diorang kate! ye tk?? lepas tu, tahun dpn klw tkde aral..kuiz STE 2005 kelibat aku lagi, mungkin jgk bahas PBH2005!
i dunno man..klw bagus tk pe jgk! masalahnye, im not THAT GOOD! im not what most people think i am..! bahas me blabbered, yg kuiz c.a.&bahase tu soalan2nye ngarutz..so it didnt really test my ability! kuiz STE..I DIDNT DO A DAMN THING!!! i just sat there..supporting my team..so when we won..i feel that i dont deserve it..mcm tk fair gitu i got the plaque, money n attention when i only contributed 6-8 marks! dah lah tk blajar! so the SATISFACTION's not there! aaah! tk tau ah camne nk ckp lgk! dont u people understand???!!!
ESSAY-WRITING COMP???!! yeah, right! as if i could pen my lousy ideas into sensible sentences within 1 1/2 or 2 hours! it's IMPOSSIBLE! even if i manage to do it, it'll be a boring n content-less one! i've had my experiences!
BUT WHY DO THEY CHOOSE ME??! i feel so inferior rite now..so powerless..feel like a hyprocite.. making people believe that i'm the clever one when im 10000 mile far from that fact!... as always..im not good enough..im not the brilliant n genius one as they think..im just a drop of water molecule in an ocean of more intelligent n superior community! im so dumb, ignorant, compared to ri, rgs, and other students out there, who get straight A's, who made a difference to their people, who get first class honours in their ceritificates, who cud contribute creative ideas, innovative, productive, who are aware of their surroundings n the big world!
on the contrary, im just a lazy girl, SLEEPYHEAD, so-called excellent student @ MAA, using up my energy for things that dont really matter, taking The GIFT for granted! n my marks are just 85%..!
haaaaiii..dah ah, me stop sini je..a'kum!
signing off, liyana @ 5:23pm
what a confession, huh?! n did i tell u: im sick in the head?
saturday 170704
i was out from 7-something am to 12:20 am....n i was sooooo tired!!!!! wonder what the heck i did n where i went??? LONG STORY... i shall tell u the simpler facts...
pagi: gi wak tanjong, ade musabaqah tahfiz kt sane..actually i wasnt the supporter...tp dtg je..nk ambik gmbr ah konon..lgpon byk gak mmbrs kt sane.. alsagoff dpt saguhati je.. suhaila watib n sukainah.. tk pe ah.. byk gak yg masuk tu bebudak tahfiz.. either represent sekolah or pusat tahfiz.. kk halimah n kk izzah dpt 1st n 2nd respectively dlm category C.. kk mardhiah wakil mwti dpt first, satu walad (mane ntah?!) wakil pusat tahfiz dpt 2nd in category B - suhaila masuk kt group tu jgk. category A..ntah tk ingat...
peeks
tghari skit: dr mwti terus gi mjd alkaff kg melayu @ bedok reservoir.. me masuk prdn sajak kt sane..w/ 4 more schmates.. kesian gak tgk majlis tu..mcm pathetic gitu..bukan ape ah..tp madrasah sepenuh mase yg masuk cume als je.. the rest 2 dr mjd ansar, 1 (in a group) dr mjd alkaff sndiri... the theme is RASULULLAH INSAN PILIHAN.. i made my poem the night b4 saturday..tu pon tk teratur..so mase kt waktan, kelam kabut refinish sajak tu..tp klw kite menghayati..sng ah nk hafal..but when i went up the stage..i forgot 70% of my line..abes tonggang terbalik! but u noe what??? me JOHAN.. sungguh tk sangke.. alsagoffians yg lain dpt saguhati.. REALLY MAN! i was ready for my name to be called as the saguhati winner..of course i would be VERY disappointed..i recited my peom badly, so i expected the worst!...happy tu happy ah :) alhamdulillah peeks
ptg: dr mjd alkaff terus gi sekolah...waduh!! habes duit ezlink aku! nmpk sir kamar kt carpark...earlier die pon ade kt mjd..ish~ sir gi ckp congratulation kuat2! so ade gak ah bebudak yg nmpk trophy tu.. kelam kabut me gi office..met with ust kamsinah n cikgu katijah n ust faridah...semue HAPPY! ari tu sume me sorang je mng something yg boleh dibanggekan...but u know what??? I FEEL embarrassed..stupid i think..coz it's just a small comp..it wasnt a big victory.. klw inter-mad besar2an tk pe jgk! ust katijah pon nk suro amek gmbr! so teacher ain ambikkn kt musolla..some of my friend nmpk... N I REALLY REALLY DONT WANT THEM TO THINK THAT IM RIAK OR THAT I WAS SHOWING OFF... though i had to admit, ade jgk sekelumit rase bangge... ASTAGHFIRULLAH...ya Allah..limaza syu'uury kazalik???
mlm: mjlis maulud...kene jage budak drj 3 & 6a, men satu, 3 n 4... leceh ah..! anyway..i didnt even do my job! just lepak duduk2 je kt situ buat keje sndiri..klw kelas bising, gasak ah! this time, biar colleagues lain do the work..im mood-less, energy-less to care about my duty...naseb baik ade lg 1 thn, 3 mjlis yg nk kene jage..bagus bagus! peeks
by 1030pm, my bored sad annoyed sad the usual mood datang... dah penat dah..mjlis abes..took my cup n sijil from office..balik w/ mum n aqila.. i think the cause was that ust zawiyah said to me,"kenape awk sibuk2 kt sini?! awk bukan jamuan khas kn? dah, keluar, keluar!" though i sense that she was joking, i felt a sting inside me.. mase tu maseh ptg..me tolong uruskn suji..then me masuk ah..kepo2 kt bilik jamuan khas tu..nk tgk makanan..(YUM!)..mayb i lingered there too long! haiz~ kt intonasi ust pon mcm ade sindiran..perasaan tk suke..etc..kinda hit me..but i just showed an amused expression..like i enjoyed the so-called joke!
terpikir tk: liyana tk mkn ke?? haiz~ lapar tu lapar gak! tp kt waktan mkn nasi..i ate alone..like some outcast!..kt mejid alkaff ade diberi karipap at the end of the event..tp tk smpt mkn ar.. sampai sekolah jek..ade murtabak..even though i didnt do my job of cleaning the class..mkn je ah! ;P rezeki oii! actually, i wanted to rase mknn kt jamuan khas tu..but i didnt have the nerve..dunno y..
k ah...dah pnjg nah nie..skjp2 save..takut comp stuck!
pagi: gi wak tanjong, ade musabaqah tahfiz kt sane..actually i wasnt the supporter...tp dtg je..nk ambik gmbr ah konon..lgpon byk gak mmbrs kt sane.. alsagoff dpt saguhati je.. suhaila watib n sukainah.. tk pe ah.. byk gak yg masuk tu bebudak tahfiz.. either represent sekolah or pusat tahfiz.. kk halimah n kk izzah dpt 1st n 2nd respectively dlm category C.. kk mardhiah wakil mwti dpt first, satu walad (mane ntah?!) wakil pusat tahfiz dpt 2nd in category B - suhaila masuk kt group tu jgk. category A..ntah tk ingat...
peeks
tghari skit: dr mwti terus gi mjd alkaff kg melayu @ bedok reservoir.. me masuk prdn sajak kt sane..w/ 4 more schmates.. kesian gak tgk majlis tu..mcm pathetic gitu..bukan ape ah..tp madrasah sepenuh mase yg masuk cume als je.. the rest 2 dr mjd ansar, 1 (in a group) dr mjd alkaff sndiri... the theme is RASULULLAH INSAN PILIHAN.. i made my poem the night b4 saturday..tu pon tk teratur..so mase kt waktan, kelam kabut refinish sajak tu..tp klw kite menghayati..sng ah nk hafal..but when i went up the stage..i forgot 70% of my line..abes tonggang terbalik! but u noe what??? me JOHAN.. sungguh tk sangke.. alsagoffians yg lain dpt saguhati.. REALLY MAN! i was ready for my name to be called as the saguhati winner..of course i would be VERY disappointed..i recited my peom badly, so i expected the worst!...happy tu happy ah :) alhamdulillah peeks
ptg: dr mjd alkaff terus gi sekolah...waduh!! habes duit ezlink aku! nmpk sir kamar kt carpark...earlier die pon ade kt mjd..ish~ sir gi ckp congratulation kuat2! so ade gak ah bebudak yg nmpk trophy tu.. kelam kabut me gi office..met with ust kamsinah n cikgu katijah n ust faridah...semue HAPPY! ari tu sume me sorang je mng something yg boleh dibanggekan...but u know what??? I FEEL embarrassed..stupid i think..coz it's just a small comp..it wasnt a big victory.. klw inter-mad besar2an tk pe jgk! ust katijah pon nk suro amek gmbr! so teacher ain ambikkn kt musolla..some of my friend nmpk... N I REALLY REALLY DONT WANT THEM TO THINK THAT IM RIAK OR THAT I WAS SHOWING OFF... though i had to admit, ade jgk sekelumit rase bangge... ASTAGHFIRULLAH...ya Allah..limaza syu'uury kazalik???
mlm: mjlis maulud...kene jage budak drj 3 & 6a, men satu, 3 n 4... leceh ah..! anyway..i didnt even do my job! just lepak duduk2 je kt situ buat keje sndiri..klw kelas bising, gasak ah! this time, biar colleagues lain do the work..im mood-less, energy-less to care about my duty...naseb baik ade lg 1 thn, 3 mjlis yg nk kene jage..bagus bagus! peeks
by 1030pm, my bored sad annoyed sad the usual mood datang... dah penat dah..mjlis abes..took my cup n sijil from office..balik w/ mum n aqila.. i think the cause was that ust zawiyah said to me,"kenape awk sibuk2 kt sini?! awk bukan jamuan khas kn? dah, keluar, keluar!" though i sense that she was joking, i felt a sting inside me.. mase tu maseh ptg..me tolong uruskn suji..then me masuk ah..kepo2 kt bilik jamuan khas tu..nk tgk makanan..(YUM!)..mayb i lingered there too long! haiz~ kt intonasi ust pon mcm ade sindiran..perasaan tk suke..etc..kinda hit me..but i just showed an amused expression..like i enjoyed the so-called joke!
terpikir tk: liyana tk mkn ke?? haiz~ lapar tu lapar gak! tp kt waktan mkn nasi..i ate alone..like some outcast!..kt mejid alkaff ade diberi karipap at the end of the event..tp tk smpt mkn ar.. sampai sekolah jek..ade murtabak..even though i didnt do my job of cleaning the class..mkn je ah! ;P rezeki oii! actually, i wanted to rase mknn kt jamuan khas tu..but i didnt have the nerve..dunno y..
k ah...dah pnjg nah nie..skjp2 save..takut comp stuck!
another good message
below is an email from aisyah Is.. Wed 140704 .. i can feel the regret... really.. inside..
A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.
As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study.
His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Holy Qur'an.
Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Holy Qur'an?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book. He never contacted his father again for long long time.
Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day.
Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart.
He began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Holy Qur'an, just as he had left it years ago.
With tears, he opened the Holy Qur'an and began to turn the pages. As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Holy Qur'an.
It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words
PAID IN FULL.
How many times do we miss GOD blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?
A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.
As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study.
His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Holy Qur'an.
Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Holy Qur'an?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book. He never contacted his father again for long long time.
Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day.
Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart.
He began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Holy Qur'an, just as he had left it years ago.
With tears, he opened the Holy Qur'an and began to turn the pages. As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Holy Qur'an.
It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words
PAID IN FULL.
How many times do we miss GOD blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?
computer rosak lagik!!!!!!!!!!!
sedih sey! kacau tul ah! ish~ akibatnye, i cant blog as much as i want now! me ade byk cerite...tp nie tgh kelam kabut...kt lib wdlnd ah...niwei klw ade pape just post ur message kt the tagboard...
k bye now!
k bye now!
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!!
ok, if want to see the pics at the QUIZ, click on the link.... ade gmbr raihan jugak..mase persembahan diorang pukul 5...
BEST DAY, but not great
alsagoff menang!!! but i didnt feel like i was part of the joy n celebration..i dunno why.. but i didnt really feel happy... because of what??? dunno...maybe coz BYK n DEKAT SGT awlad alj.. or i did sumthing embarrassing..or coz penyokong kite lousy?? ntah lah.. today was a long story...maybe lain kali je cerite! da mlm ah...mate sakit..kaki sakit..
2 more daayyyssss...!
im still not doing anything...but i've made some notes...saraf.. REMEMBER: NIAT TU BIAR BETUL...JGN NK RIAK PLAK.. DONT THINK OF WINNING..FOCUS UR NIAT..EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED.. ohhh! seramnye fikirkan pasal nie..yelah, kekadang tu hati kate,alsagoff can make it! our team is good! beat the rest! n then..WHOOSH!..something bad will happen..the opposite of what we've expected! n that would be SOOO terrible!..so..kene maintain niat tu, liyana! dgr tk?!! dont let it dominates u!!
got to go...dah maghrib nie...im still not sure wether to publicise my blog to my frens... hmmm..
got to go...dah maghrib nie...im still not sure wether to publicise my blog to my frens... hmmm..
4 more days to go....*NERVOUS*
ish! i havent REALLY study!! i do nothing except surfing the net.. n i barely have anything useful in my empty head! haiz~~ apelah nk jd dgn kau, liyana!!! klw salah satu team member tk dtg camne??? sape salah? kau jgk kn?! *nightmare* tu ah...tul jugak ape kau kate...aku kene bersedia (macam RE-AL aje?!)..seram gak biler pikirkan possibility nie...mintak2 djauhkan..ameeeeen...
hmmm, dah bukak sekolah nie, i ought to set my aim..some resolution!..like it will work?!..mayb i should think about next year's kuiz..so i better start doing n compiling notes..oh my god...let's just get to the point...IM NERVOUS-WRECK..WORRIED..PANIC..what else?? im not good on adjectives..too bad..mayb i should look into the thesaurus..need more powerful word..
actually, i have many stories to tell, like..went to hajrah's last saturday..peristiwa ngarutz first day of school..maulid..ntah ape lg...niwei i found aks nye blog..aszafirahnye dah lame jumpe..n have i told u before, I'M SICK IN THE HEAD??!!
hmmm, dah bukak sekolah nie, i ought to set my aim..some resolution!..like it will work?!..mayb i should think about next year's kuiz..so i better start doing n compiling notes..oh my god...let's just get to the point...IM NERVOUS-WRECK..WORRIED..PANIC..what else?? im not good on adjectives..too bad..mayb i should look into the thesaurus..need more powerful word..
actually, i have many stories to tell, like..went to hajrah's last saturday..peristiwa ngarutz first day of school..maulid..ntah ape lg...niwei i found aks nye blog..aszafirahnye dah lame jumpe..n have i told u before, I'M SICK IN THE HEAD??!!
i juz LUV 'tis song..so meaningful..so beautiful
Desert Rose
Words and music by Sting
(CHORUS)
I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand
I dream of fire
Those dreams are tied to a horse that will never tire
And in the flames
The shadows play in the shape of the man's desire
This desert rose
Each of her veils, a secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this
And now she turns
This way she moves in the logic of all my dreams
This fire burns
I realize that nothing's as it seems
(CHORUS)
I dream of rain
I lift my gaze to empty skies above
I close my eyes
The rare perfume is the sweet intoxication of her love
(CHORUS)
Sweet desert rose
Each of her veils, a secret promise
This desert flower
This rare perfume is the sweet intoxication of love
Words and music by Sting
(CHORUS)
I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand
I dream of fire
Those dreams are tied to a horse that will never tire
And in the flames
The shadows play in the shape of the man's desire
This desert rose
Each of her veils, a secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this
And now she turns
This way she moves in the logic of all my dreams
This fire burns
I realize that nothing's as it seems
(CHORUS)
I dream of rain
I lift my gaze to empty skies above
I close my eyes
The rare perfume is the sweet intoxication of her love
(CHORUS)
Sweet desert rose
Each of her veils, a secret promise
This desert flower
This rare perfume is the sweet intoxication of love
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