i miss talking about religion. or about issues.. regarding life, current affairs, society, religious practices, philosophy, environment, nature, the future, history.

i miss indulging myself with ilmu. you know what i mean? ilmu, ilmu, ilmu!

i know damn well that what i learn in sch is ilmu, but no, no... what i really miss is ilmu agama.. belajar something for the sake for belajar something. ilmu that im familiar with.. more depth.. more width..

ilmu that can widen my perspective, stretch my mind, teach me to be more wise..

i need some scholarly discussions.. more of them. urgh!

and im really really grateful there's usrah. with my NI mates, and thfz mates.. although i missed two recent ones, 1 NI, 1 thfz..

now, usrahs and majlis ilmu (however informal, with my friends) seem more important than whatever trainings and ALPs. yupz.

Munajat oleh Rabbani

Tuhan
Kubisikkan kerinduan
Keinsafan
Pengharapan

Tuhan
Kubisikkan kerinduan
Keinsafan
Pengharapan

Tuhan
Kusembahkan pengorbanan
Membuktikan kecintaan

Bisikanku untuk-Mu
Munajatku mohon restu
Semoga cintaku bukan palsu
Pada desiran penuh syahdu
Gelombang lautan rinduku

Tuhan
Kubisikkan kerinduan
Keinsafan
Pengharapan

Tuhan
Kusembahkan pengorbanan
Membuktikan kecintaan

Munajatku dalam syahdu
Merindui maghfirah Mu
Mardhiah Mu dalam restu
Harapan tulusnya hatiku

Ku rindukan pimpinan Mu
Keagungan Mu dalam doaku
Kebesaran pada qudrat Mu
Ia membina ruhaniku

Tuhan
Kubisikkan kerinduan
Keinsafan
Pengharapan

Tuhan
Kusembahkan pengorbanan
Membuktikan kecintaan

Ujian kepahitan
Di dalam perjuangan
Padanya ada kemanisan
Ketenangan dan kebahagiaan
Padanya syurga idaman

Munajatku dalam syahdu
Merindui Maghfirah Mu
Mardhiah Mu dalam restu
Harapan tulusnya hatiku

Kurindukan pimpinan Mu
Keagungan Mu dalam doaku
Kebesaran pada Qudrat Mu
Ia membina ruhaniku

Tuhan
Kubisikkan kerinduan
Keinsafan
Pengharapan

Tuhan
Kusembahkan pengorbanan
Membuktikan kecintaan

i asked her about solat taqwiyatul hifz - is there a dalil for it?

she answered me in arabic, and immediately i realised she wasnt answering my question directly; she was telling me something else.

she knows.

"cara menguatkan hafalan...... sebenarnya... orang yang menghafal quran.... tak
boleh buat maksiat... sebab ilmu tu cahaya.. cahaya Allah tu tak diberikan pada
orang-orang maksiat.. penting bagi orang yang menghafal al-Quran buat solat
taubah.... lazimkan..."

that's more or less the gist of it, that i can remember.

i was suddenly solemn. another sign.

terkedu. but i wasnt in the right place and moment to reveal my feelings. tahan dulu k?

now, i can think and reflect.

it's still on my mind.

thank you, for the naseehah.. and thank You, for thru this incident i know You love me..

childhood songs

i'd like to start with nasyid.

ingat dulu2... (below 7 year oldnye memory ah.. so, quite fade) time arqam, me dgr nasyid2 by nadamurni and other kumpulan2 nasyid yang ditubuhkan under arqam.. ade yang 'ummiku sayang' album tu - i finally found out that they're called Soutus Sofwa (but i dunno if tu nama yang original atau nama baru selepas pembubaran arqam).

dulu2 tu, kite dgr kaset ah... sedap2 jugak lagunye. most of the cassettes dah tak tahu ke mana.. but few, me tak tahu camne nak dgr sbb the hi-fi system is faulty (which has the cassette player).

so, bila ada imeem ni, me tercari2 lagu2 lama yang pernah me dgr dulu..

ade satu lagu.. dlm album 'ummiku sayang'.. (there are others: dengarlah sayang, adik-adikku sayang) i really dont know sape or tajuk ape.. tapi liriknye asyik terngiang2.

selamat tinggal ayah dan ibu.. izinkan kami pergi dahulu.. mengharap restu juga do'amu.. kami pergi mencari ilmu..



=)

lagu from nadamurni:




and i think, the first moment that triggered back my 'memory of songs' was during a Saff 'R Us session kat perdaus hong kah. mase tu, tgh ade group discussion, then one of the brothers bukak satu lagu ni on his laptop. bila dgr je, terus hati ni berbisik, "eh! lagu tu! i had listened to it long time ago..!" mcm curious giler nak tahu sape nyanyi, tajuk lagu, mane nak dapatkan lagu tu..

when i asked the bro, lagu2 yang dia hantar salah uh.. tapi takpe, that was when i discovered 'selawat atasmu' by nowseeheart, and 'sa'ir' by, tak tahu sape.

i only know it starts with 'solla alaikallahu ya adnani' - tapi kan ade byk versi..

cari punye cari.. i found http://www.downloadnasyid.blogspot.com/ it was some time (a loOng time for me tho') before i found album 'untukmu rasulullah'.

i have satu cd 'untukmu rasulullah'.. tapi nombor 2 nye.. lagu tu dan beberape lagi lagu (yang pasti me recognise) ade kat cd nombor 1.

so.... click, click, click on the songs kat album tu, akhirnya:



oh, another nasyid that i had been painstakingly searching:





(to be continued)

lemme just ramble on...!!

k, i've LOTs to say... maklumlah, berminggu2 tak update kan... so, terpendam je kat pikiran ni..

TERM TESTS ARE OVER...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ya Allah.... betapa leganya hati ni~ rasenye, this is the greatest relief ever since i entered year 2. imagine that!

it wasn't a sweet ending, as usual.. nevertheless, knowing that tomorrow's the start of term break (albeit 3 projects at hand).. is hart-warming!

and... i dare to say that i did put quite an effort this week. alhamdulillah.. terima kasih Tuhan..! although... my spirits were going down, down, down as the last day of test (that is today) loomed.. susah betul nak maintain semangat kite untuk belajar kan? haa... sebab tu lah my last paper tak alright sgt.. sebab start belajar pukul 11pm+ the night before.. tu pon tak concentrate and info tak masuk sgt, sbb dah ngantuk. and, esok paginya baru sambung.. and my cpu agak slow (coz of the semangat turon and the distraction 'cepat lah habis..!!!')..

looking on the bright side, i was able to do bpharm calculations!!!!

oh yeah, have i ever told you that i find calculations hard? i cringe whenever there's calculations question.. dari first year sampai sekarang. yup, most of the time i dont understand the question.. and i dunno how to start solving the problem. hmm.. i wonder where my math power has gone to. *need more practice*

next!

aqila dapat 217 for her PSLE!! marha~ marha!! best kan? the highest kat sekolahnye (madr aljunied) is 240. dua orang. dua2 perempuan. gO GiRLsss~!!

and then, suddenly i thought.. "hmm... klw dulu aku ambil PSLE.. rasanye aku dapat berapa eh..?" talk about what if's!

another good news.. although agak terlambat is.... kamaliah got 3rd in her class!! yeSsA~ i know i've said this, but let me say it again: im PROUD of you, mate! *flashing my big toothy smile*

cerita lain:

1. i just discovered this website: http://www.iluvislam.com/ yesterday.. check it out gals! it was created by muslim lads from malaysia. and what's impressive that they, and their comm members, are students in overseas university!! muslims + malay + malaysia + europe + university =
future muslim intellectuals, insha Allah!!

oh, and what you get there:

Di sini anda berpeluang untuk menikmati pelbagai hiburan alternatif, info
universiti, koleksi artikel seantero dunia, perbincangan ilmiah, video islamik,
tv streaming, politik, perubatan dan kesihatan, cinta dan remaja, dakwah dan
jemaah, nama-nama anak anda, soal-jawab ustaz, ...dan banyak lagi!!

2. i was given the opportunity to help a sis mend a booth at masjid an-na'eem family carnival on 2 dec 2007. this sister is the woman behind http://www.nour.sg/ (promo ni!) and mewah apparel (located somewhere in bukit batok).. k, yang me betul2 nak promote ni is her designing service for customised badges, corporate stationeries, shirts (dry-fit), posters, etc etc etc.

and fyi, she was the main designer for Ramadhan Rocks 2007. yeah!

so, i know her from there. sehari sebelum RR'07 baru dapat bertemu 4 mata (or shall i say, 8? coz both of us wear specs. heh.) dgn Kak Hairani. your hard work is very much appreciated kak! =)

k, actually, what i want to share is....

remember i said i hadnt bought myself a gift in one of the previous posts?

pada hari tu lah, i got myself the Ultimate Birthday Gifts (macam betOl je ehh..). nak tahu ape? oh, lain kali kite cerita k? i want to post the pictures here too.. buat kenangan. *nak ambil gmbr then upload, tu yang leceh uh*

3. i've found some nostalgic songs.. you know, the songs that you heard/listened to when you're a kid. then you never heard it again.. but somehow, that memory is in the back of your head, and quite suddenly, one day, the rhythm just pops up, and you find yourself humming the tune, and if more lucky, some bits of the lyrics. but! you forgot what the song title is.. or who the singer is..

so, thanks to http://www.imeem.com/, i was able to retrieve these memories back!

amazing how 'playing music on your web' has evolved! just few years ago, i had wasted time and energy finding the html code to put song(s) in my blog.. even more ma fan if you have to 'upload' (i dunno what's the best word) the song of choice, like, manually, coz it wasnt available in any music codes sites. or even find the html for the music player.

now, everything's easy. the websites are there (music hosting webbies, eh? multiply.. flashfetish..).. all you have to do is upload the music (or just find it, like at imeem) and copy and paste the code. and voila!

videos also... youtube.. veoh.. haiz~ teringat dulu.. sedangkan nak letak lagu punyelah seksa, apatah lagi videos!

4. recently, i've been to 2 weddings.. got to see different perspectives... coming up, this sunday, my alsagoff senior, mariam hashim, is getting married!!

hmm... majlis2 nikah ni made me thinking, plus daydreaming, about my own wedding, calon suami (oops!).. hidup sebagai isteri.. bernikah muda.. even nama anak. what i prefer and what i dont. AND, the ultimate question whether i will live long enough to even get engaged. hah!

k, cakap pasal nama...

5. Mujahid ---- sedapkan bunyinya? with huruf 'jim' and 'ha' yang tebal.. bila sebut word tu.. seolah2 terlambang keteguhan, kesungguhan.. i had come to realise the depth of the word 'mujahadah' only this year.. around ramadhan.. when i reflected back on all the tribulations, emotional, spiritual, that i am facing.. and the word 'mujahid' appealed to me.

and kebetulan, masa hari raya yang baru lepas ni, i found out that my anak sedara (who's 21 years old) namanye muhammad mujahid. wow!

but i prefer simply, Mujahid.

another word that has been on my mind for quite some time is 'Dzulkifli'. yes, i prefer it spelled with 'dz'. sebutan kena tepat! i had thought of that name/word when i reflected on my personality. sometimes, i noticed that i was/is a 'pak sanggup'.. sanggup gi jauh to send a form to a friend, sanggup tunggu lama2, sanggup buat itu ini when nobody else did.. hmm... why did i go to the extra mile eh? kenapa menyusahkan diri eh? i remember my dad mentioned this behaviour of mine to me.. tak ingat lah bila.. but it kinda stuck in my head.

and i was reminded of makna 'Dzulkifli' dalam buku cerita kanak2 25 rasul (tak pasti colour biru atau bijau punye)... 'yang mempunyai kesanggupan'..

anyway,

Raihan and 'Ibaadurrahmaan' pon mcm sedap eh nama? tapi im not sure of the latter's meaning ah.. 'ibad tu, is it 'worshipper' or 'worshipping'..

klw nama perempuan plak.. hmm... belum dapat inspirasi..

6. it's been a long time since i write a sensible, mature post about issues. serious stuff.

hmm.. maybe it's my lack of knowledge. but more possibly, because expressing myself and my opinions in writing isn't my strength.

and yes... it's been a long time since i read something substantial. masuk internet, baca blog orang.. suratkhabar pon, BH je.. but not-so-heavy news je..

haiz~~ apa nak jadi! gotta change, gottachange gottachange~~




ape lagi nak share eh?

oh, another webbie: http://www.islamicevents.sg/ where events/talks/seminars/classes are advertised. it's new.. so spread about it k? so more people will know about this wonderful service the web creators offer!

let's support the efforts by our brothers and sisters! with the IT knowledge that we have.. must utilise it optimally for da'wah, and for the ummah!

Sabar di Hati

&

Syukur pada Wajah

1615hrs

my sister bought Indulge's tiramisu for me... that's very thoughtful of her.. thanks, aqila!

i had never tried tiramisu before... and i had been eyeing, sort of, the tiramisu from Indulge since the shop opened few years ago. lama eh? tak mampu ah... plus, tak sampai hati nak keluarkan duit to buy a small thing (in this case, food) at a price at which i can buy 2 muffins instead.

so, when i opened the fridge last night, and then, opened the box.. ooh! it's tiramisu~~

anyway, other than that, she bought my fav 'sweets' ah basically.. 2 pastries from Indulge, and chocolate fudge slice and peanut butter waffle from Prima Deli. *suker, suker, suker!*


and thank you, for those who wished me...

hmmm...

i'd like to think that i shouldnt expect anything.
and thus, i dont expect anything.
kena didik diri ah..
coz it's just one of the many days.
so there's no need for anyone to remember.
even myself, to an extreme extend.

nevertheless, i've yet to buy you anything..
just a du'a with the deepest hopes, and earnest feelings..
yang penting, you're happy k?
be strong, girlfriend!
^_____^