but honestly, im not really excited or whatsoever..i just hope i can make it..my school is depending on me...urgh!..it's the lack of practice i guess..so i dont have much confidence..n i have to set my intention..one thing is certain though, i have stomach cramps n my heart 'kecut' n beats very fast that i think it wud burst any minute...everytime i think about the competition..another 6-7 hours to go..by the way, if u're totally clueless about what im talking about..it's the syarahan inter-mad competition @ alsagoff sempena maulidur rasul..haiz...
wish me luck!..no, wait! i dont need that..coz people wishing me luck doesnt make any difference to me..it might motivate me more as the people show me their support..but then, no! it kinda stresses me out..the hope..the burden..most importantly, i think, it's up to the individual to do the best..tkkn wishes of luck boleh automatically help...confidence matters, whatever people say...
tale told
i wrote the account below in the mrt.. monday 130704 1700H
lepas satu, satu! dah satu, dua! lepas two, tige! haiz~ mcmanelah aku nak hidup!!! klw hidup pun asyik rush aje! you know wat i mean?
yelah, thn nih mcm2 bende ana masuk! first, bahas then prdn current affair & bahase...dah tu kuiz ste...lepas nih essay writing..muke aku lagik!!! argh! mintak2 lah peraduan syarahan @ alsagoff i wont be selected. PENAT ah! org nk relax pon susah!haiz~ pelajar2 lain pon, nnti ape plak diorang kate! ye tk?? lepas tu, tahun dpn klw tkde aral..kuiz STE 2005 kelibat aku lagi, mungkin jgk bahas PBH2005!
i dunno man..klw bagus tk pe jgk! masalahnye, im not THAT GOOD! im not what most people think i am..! bahas me blabbered, yg kuiz c.a.&bahase tu soalan2nye ngarutz..so it didnt really test my ability! kuiz STE..I DIDNT DO A DAMN THING!!! i just sat there..supporting my team..so when we won..i feel that i dont deserve it..mcm tk fair gitu i got the plaque, money n attention when i only contributed 6-8 marks! dah lah tk blajar! so the SATISFACTION's not there! aaah! tk tau ah camne nk ckp lgk! dont u people understand???!!!
ESSAY-WRITING COMP???!! yeah, right! as if i could pen my lousy ideas into sensible sentences within 1 1/2 or 2 hours! it's IMPOSSIBLE! even if i manage to do it, it'll be a boring n content-less one! i've had my experiences!
BUT WHY DO THEY CHOOSE ME??! i feel so inferior rite now..so powerless..feel like a hyprocite.. making people believe that i'm the clever one when im 10000 mile far from that fact!... as always..im not good enough..im not the brilliant n genius one as they think..im just a drop of water molecule in an ocean of more intelligent n superior community! im so dumb, ignorant, compared to ri, rgs, and other students out there, who get straight A's, who made a difference to their people, who get first class honours in their ceritificates, who cud contribute creative ideas, innovative, productive, who are aware of their surroundings n the big world!
on the contrary, im just a lazy girl, SLEEPYHEAD, so-called excellent student @ MAA, using up my energy for things that dont really matter, taking The GIFT for granted! n my marks are just 85%..!
haaaaiii..dah ah, me stop sini je..a'kum!
signing off, liyana @ 5:23pm
what a confession, huh?! n did i tell u: im sick in the head?
lepas satu, satu! dah satu, dua! lepas two, tige! haiz~ mcmanelah aku nak hidup!!! klw hidup pun asyik rush aje! you know wat i mean?
yelah, thn nih mcm2 bende ana masuk! first, bahas then prdn current affair & bahase...dah tu kuiz ste...lepas nih essay writing..muke aku lagik!!! argh! mintak2 lah peraduan syarahan @ alsagoff i wont be selected. PENAT ah! org nk relax pon susah!haiz~ pelajar2 lain pon, nnti ape plak diorang kate! ye tk?? lepas tu, tahun dpn klw tkde aral..kuiz STE 2005 kelibat aku lagi, mungkin jgk bahas PBH2005!
i dunno man..klw bagus tk pe jgk! masalahnye, im not THAT GOOD! im not what most people think i am..! bahas me blabbered, yg kuiz c.a.&bahase tu soalan2nye ngarutz..so it didnt really test my ability! kuiz STE..I DIDNT DO A DAMN THING!!! i just sat there..supporting my team..so when we won..i feel that i dont deserve it..mcm tk fair gitu i got the plaque, money n attention when i only contributed 6-8 marks! dah lah tk blajar! so the SATISFACTION's not there! aaah! tk tau ah camne nk ckp lgk! dont u people understand???!!!
ESSAY-WRITING COMP???!! yeah, right! as if i could pen my lousy ideas into sensible sentences within 1 1/2 or 2 hours! it's IMPOSSIBLE! even if i manage to do it, it'll be a boring n content-less one! i've had my experiences!
BUT WHY DO THEY CHOOSE ME??! i feel so inferior rite now..so powerless..feel like a hyprocite.. making people believe that i'm the clever one when im 10000 mile far from that fact!... as always..im not good enough..im not the brilliant n genius one as they think..im just a drop of water molecule in an ocean of more intelligent n superior community! im so dumb, ignorant, compared to ri, rgs, and other students out there, who get straight A's, who made a difference to their people, who get first class honours in their ceritificates, who cud contribute creative ideas, innovative, productive, who are aware of their surroundings n the big world!
on the contrary, im just a lazy girl, SLEEPYHEAD, so-called excellent student @ MAA, using up my energy for things that dont really matter, taking The GIFT for granted! n my marks are just 85%..!
haaaaiii..dah ah, me stop sini je..a'kum!
signing off, liyana @ 5:23pm
what a confession, huh?! n did i tell u: im sick in the head?
saturday 170704
i was out from 7-something am to 12:20 am....n i was sooooo tired!!!!! wonder what the heck i did n where i went??? LONG STORY... i shall tell u the simpler facts...
pagi: gi wak tanjong, ade musabaqah tahfiz kt sane..actually i wasnt the supporter...tp dtg je..nk ambik gmbr ah konon..lgpon byk gak mmbrs kt sane.. alsagoff dpt saguhati je.. suhaila watib n sukainah.. tk pe ah.. byk gak yg masuk tu bebudak tahfiz.. either represent sekolah or pusat tahfiz.. kk halimah n kk izzah dpt 1st n 2nd respectively dlm category C.. kk mardhiah wakil mwti dpt first, satu walad (mane ntah?!) wakil pusat tahfiz dpt 2nd in category B - suhaila masuk kt group tu jgk. category A..ntah tk ingat...
peeks
tghari skit: dr mwti terus gi mjd alkaff kg melayu @ bedok reservoir.. me masuk prdn sajak kt sane..w/ 4 more schmates.. kesian gak tgk majlis tu..mcm pathetic gitu..bukan ape ah..tp madrasah sepenuh mase yg masuk cume als je.. the rest 2 dr mjd ansar, 1 (in a group) dr mjd alkaff sndiri... the theme is RASULULLAH INSAN PILIHAN.. i made my poem the night b4 saturday..tu pon tk teratur..so mase kt waktan, kelam kabut refinish sajak tu..tp klw kite menghayati..sng ah nk hafal..but when i went up the stage..i forgot 70% of my line..abes tonggang terbalik! but u noe what??? me JOHAN.. sungguh tk sangke.. alsagoffians yg lain dpt saguhati.. REALLY MAN! i was ready for my name to be called as the saguhati winner..of course i would be VERY disappointed..i recited my peom badly, so i expected the worst!...happy tu happy ah :) alhamdulillah peeks
ptg: dr mjd alkaff terus gi sekolah...waduh!! habes duit ezlink aku! nmpk sir kamar kt carpark...earlier die pon ade kt mjd..ish~ sir gi ckp congratulation kuat2! so ade gak ah bebudak yg nmpk trophy tu.. kelam kabut me gi office..met with ust kamsinah n cikgu katijah n ust faridah...semue HAPPY! ari tu sume me sorang je mng something yg boleh dibanggekan...but u know what??? I FEEL embarrassed..stupid i think..coz it's just a small comp..it wasnt a big victory.. klw inter-mad besar2an tk pe jgk! ust katijah pon nk suro amek gmbr! so teacher ain ambikkn kt musolla..some of my friend nmpk... N I REALLY REALLY DONT WANT THEM TO THINK THAT IM RIAK OR THAT I WAS SHOWING OFF... though i had to admit, ade jgk sekelumit rase bangge... ASTAGHFIRULLAH...ya Allah..limaza syu'uury kazalik???
mlm: mjlis maulud...kene jage budak drj 3 & 6a, men satu, 3 n 4... leceh ah..! anyway..i didnt even do my job! just lepak duduk2 je kt situ buat keje sndiri..klw kelas bising, gasak ah! this time, biar colleagues lain do the work..im mood-less, energy-less to care about my duty...naseb baik ade lg 1 thn, 3 mjlis yg nk kene jage..bagus bagus! peeks
by 1030pm, my bored sad annoyed sad the usual mood datang... dah penat dah..mjlis abes..took my cup n sijil from office..balik w/ mum n aqila.. i think the cause was that ust zawiyah said to me,"kenape awk sibuk2 kt sini?! awk bukan jamuan khas kn? dah, keluar, keluar!" though i sense that she was joking, i felt a sting inside me.. mase tu maseh ptg..me tolong uruskn suji..then me masuk ah..kepo2 kt bilik jamuan khas tu..nk tgk makanan..(YUM!)..mayb i lingered there too long! haiz~ kt intonasi ust pon mcm ade sindiran..perasaan tk suke..etc..kinda hit me..but i just showed an amused expression..like i enjoyed the so-called joke!
terpikir tk: liyana tk mkn ke?? haiz~ lapar tu lapar gak! tp kt waktan mkn nasi..i ate alone..like some outcast!..kt mejid alkaff ade diberi karipap at the end of the event..tp tk smpt mkn ar.. sampai sekolah jek..ade murtabak..even though i didnt do my job of cleaning the class..mkn je ah! ;P rezeki oii! actually, i wanted to rase mknn kt jamuan khas tu..but i didnt have the nerve..dunno y..
k ah...dah pnjg nah nie..skjp2 save..takut comp stuck!
pagi: gi wak tanjong, ade musabaqah tahfiz kt sane..actually i wasnt the supporter...tp dtg je..nk ambik gmbr ah konon..lgpon byk gak mmbrs kt sane.. alsagoff dpt saguhati je.. suhaila watib n sukainah.. tk pe ah.. byk gak yg masuk tu bebudak tahfiz.. either represent sekolah or pusat tahfiz.. kk halimah n kk izzah dpt 1st n 2nd respectively dlm category C.. kk mardhiah wakil mwti dpt first, satu walad (mane ntah?!) wakil pusat tahfiz dpt 2nd in category B - suhaila masuk kt group tu jgk. category A..ntah tk ingat...
peeks
tghari skit: dr mwti terus gi mjd alkaff kg melayu @ bedok reservoir.. me masuk prdn sajak kt sane..w/ 4 more schmates.. kesian gak tgk majlis tu..mcm pathetic gitu..bukan ape ah..tp madrasah sepenuh mase yg masuk cume als je.. the rest 2 dr mjd ansar, 1 (in a group) dr mjd alkaff sndiri... the theme is RASULULLAH INSAN PILIHAN.. i made my poem the night b4 saturday..tu pon tk teratur..so mase kt waktan, kelam kabut refinish sajak tu..tp klw kite menghayati..sng ah nk hafal..but when i went up the stage..i forgot 70% of my line..abes tonggang terbalik! but u noe what??? me JOHAN.. sungguh tk sangke.. alsagoffians yg lain dpt saguhati.. REALLY MAN! i was ready for my name to be called as the saguhati winner..of course i would be VERY disappointed..i recited my peom badly, so i expected the worst!...happy tu happy ah :) alhamdulillah peeks
ptg: dr mjd alkaff terus gi sekolah...waduh!! habes duit ezlink aku! nmpk sir kamar kt carpark...earlier die pon ade kt mjd..ish~ sir gi ckp congratulation kuat2! so ade gak ah bebudak yg nmpk trophy tu.. kelam kabut me gi office..met with ust kamsinah n cikgu katijah n ust faridah...semue HAPPY! ari tu sume me sorang je mng something yg boleh dibanggekan...but u know what??? I FEEL embarrassed..stupid i think..coz it's just a small comp..it wasnt a big victory.. klw inter-mad besar2an tk pe jgk! ust katijah pon nk suro amek gmbr! so teacher ain ambikkn kt musolla..some of my friend nmpk... N I REALLY REALLY DONT WANT THEM TO THINK THAT IM RIAK OR THAT I WAS SHOWING OFF... though i had to admit, ade jgk sekelumit rase bangge... ASTAGHFIRULLAH...ya Allah..limaza syu'uury kazalik???
mlm: mjlis maulud...kene jage budak drj 3 & 6a, men satu, 3 n 4... leceh ah..! anyway..i didnt even do my job! just lepak duduk2 je kt situ buat keje sndiri..klw kelas bising, gasak ah! this time, biar colleagues lain do the work..im mood-less, energy-less to care about my duty...naseb baik ade lg 1 thn, 3 mjlis yg nk kene jage..bagus bagus! peeks
by 1030pm, my bored sad annoyed sad the usual mood datang... dah penat dah..mjlis abes..took my cup n sijil from office..balik w/ mum n aqila.. i think the cause was that ust zawiyah said to me,"kenape awk sibuk2 kt sini?! awk bukan jamuan khas kn? dah, keluar, keluar!" though i sense that she was joking, i felt a sting inside me.. mase tu maseh ptg..me tolong uruskn suji..then me masuk ah..kepo2 kt bilik jamuan khas tu..nk tgk makanan..(YUM!)..mayb i lingered there too long! haiz~ kt intonasi ust pon mcm ade sindiran..perasaan tk suke..etc..kinda hit me..but i just showed an amused expression..like i enjoyed the so-called joke!
terpikir tk: liyana tk mkn ke?? haiz~ lapar tu lapar gak! tp kt waktan mkn nasi..i ate alone..like some outcast!..kt mejid alkaff ade diberi karipap at the end of the event..tp tk smpt mkn ar.. sampai sekolah jek..ade murtabak..even though i didnt do my job of cleaning the class..mkn je ah! ;P rezeki oii! actually, i wanted to rase mknn kt jamuan khas tu..but i didnt have the nerve..dunno y..
k ah...dah pnjg nah nie..skjp2 save..takut comp stuck!
another good message
below is an email from aisyah Is.. Wed 140704 .. i can feel the regret... really.. inside..
A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.
As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study.
His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Holy Qur'an.
Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Holy Qur'an?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book. He never contacted his father again for long long time.
Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day.
Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart.
He began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Holy Qur'an, just as he had left it years ago.
With tears, he opened the Holy Qur'an and began to turn the pages. As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Holy Qur'an.
It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words
PAID IN FULL.
How many times do we miss GOD blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?
A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.
As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study.
His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Holy Qur'an.
Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Holy Qur'an?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book. He never contacted his father again for long long time.
Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day.
Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart.
He began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Holy Qur'an, just as he had left it years ago.
With tears, he opened the Holy Qur'an and began to turn the pages. As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Holy Qur'an.
It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words
PAID IN FULL.
How many times do we miss GOD blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?
computer rosak lagik!!!!!!!!!!!
sedih sey! kacau tul ah! ish~ akibatnye, i cant blog as much as i want now! me ade byk cerite...tp nie tgh kelam kabut...kt lib wdlnd ah...niwei klw ade pape just post ur message kt the tagboard...
k bye now!
k bye now!
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!!
ok, if want to see the pics at the QUIZ, click on the link.... ade gmbr raihan jugak..mase persembahan diorang pukul 5...
BEST DAY, but not great
alsagoff menang!!! but i didnt feel like i was part of the joy n celebration..i dunno why.. but i didnt really feel happy... because of what??? dunno...maybe coz BYK n DEKAT SGT awlad alj.. or i did sumthing embarrassing..or coz penyokong kite lousy?? ntah lah.. today was a long story...maybe lain kali je cerite! da mlm ah...mate sakit..kaki sakit..
2 more daayyyssss...!
im still not doing anything...but i've made some notes...saraf.. REMEMBER: NIAT TU BIAR BETUL...JGN NK RIAK PLAK.. DONT THINK OF WINNING..FOCUS UR NIAT..EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED.. ohhh! seramnye fikirkan pasal nie..yelah, kekadang tu hati kate,alsagoff can make it! our team is good! beat the rest! n then..WHOOSH!..something bad will happen..the opposite of what we've expected! n that would be SOOO terrible!..so..kene maintain niat tu, liyana! dgr tk?!! dont let it dominates u!!
got to go...dah maghrib nie...im still not sure wether to publicise my blog to my frens... hmmm..
got to go...dah maghrib nie...im still not sure wether to publicise my blog to my frens... hmmm..
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