on a happier note ^.^

alhamdulillah~ the exams are over. and now im looking forward to the a month and a half holiday. *jumping upanddown with joy!! wheee~~*

ironically though, i dont feel somewhat relieved that the worst is over. instead, the feeling was more of an acknowledgement. like, "oh. ok. exam dah habis." hmm... maybe im at my hyperpolarization state (hah! merepek! sape2 yang belajar hpi tahu2 je lah ape yg me bebelkan!)

ok ok. so as my post title says, today's paper ended on a happier note. better than the other 3 days. not that those 3 previous papers were terrible, horrible, horrendous... but a miracle happened today, and it really left me feeling blessed and cared for..

the truth is, i was not motivated to study for cellb. i ate a lot, slept for 4 hours, ate again, plus i couldnt study in my room coz my grandmother slept there. so, i was deprived of a suitable study area. and then, my stomach was full and it was getting late. plus, i was mentally discouraged, seeing how i had done for the 3 previous papers. simply said, i didnt really study hard for cellb.

but, but, but!!

it was as though someone showed me which topics to cover. i mean, i knew i didnt have enough time, so i had to choose which topics, subtopics, info that were important, by prediction, of course. usually, the topics i covered were not enough, meaning, i missed imporant information here and there, thus affecting my marks.

so, today, a miracle happened. Allah had given me 'ilham' to actually study the certain notes. and indeed, they came out in the exam! structured questions and essay questions... hamdan lillah! i knew the answers, except for one particular question which i didnt put an emphasis on earlier, and which i had some regrets.. but never mind! plus, i never knew which topics were important and which weren't coz i wasnt paying attention during the cellb revision lecture. but you know what? i was really grateful that i didnt! coz... topics 1 and 5 were supposedly not important, but about 2-4 structured/essay questions were on those topics! luckily for me, i had covered the 'sure-come-out-one!' points from those notes. but for some of my friends, it was an unpleasant suprise....

to sum it up, today's paper really sent me sunshine amidst the rain. a wonderful, cheerful sunshine!


and today, i went to alsagoff. after more than... 3 months? and i was happy to see my teachers, nafisah, juniors! yippee!

but most of all, i was really happy to see mardhiah, aszafirah, fadhilah and adibah in the mrt on my way home! for the past one year, i've never ever seen them in the mrt.. mostly because i seldom take the mrt... and that ride with them wrapped up my happy day!


^_^

the first leg of race

aaah~ i cant believe the first year of study is nearly over. to tell you the truth, tertiary studies period is definitely shooooorrrter than primary/secondary level. the fact is, we have looooonger holidays and shorter school term. yey! =)

and indeed, second semester's seen the worst change in me. i always woke up late. arrived at school super duper late. skipped lectures. aah~ what a wonderful life! *thick with sarcasm* and the same old habit of mine, that is not doing homework, still persists. yeah, that's me. oh! another thing, i slept more in lectures. couldnt help it, i think.

so yeah, i noticed that i spent most of the time in school learning nothing. err.. that's a bit exaggerating, you know that. but, it's true, one way or another.

above is my arts appreciation tutor, Ms Sandra Lim. sitting beside her is sheena. then, me, xue mei and man lin. all applied science students. man lin lives just two blocks away from my house! it was very very very suprising when i saw her in 969 shortly after boarding the bus from my home bustop! just imagine, all your life, you never knew this person exist...n tada! one day, you're in the same class as her, and you found out she's practically your neighbour!! what a small world. what a small world!!

leadership and character. class T02. not all were present. standing 3rd from the left-front row is our tutor, Ms Marie Chan. next to her, the girl in white pants, is Uyanga, from Mongolia... yep! i have a friend from Mongolia. how coool is that? but i've yet to get to know her more.. hmmm... so far, i have friends from myanmar, the philippines, china and indonesia. and brunei. and taiwan.

and here are the 5 out of 6 malay girls in my class. with our communication skills tutor, Ms Jocelyn Lee. this semester's comm skills is the best class yet! wheee~~ it definitely helped me boost my presentation skills, plus confidence and formal etiquettes. overall, i had 3 presentations this semester. alhamdulillah~ i did ok (minus the content factor, of course. i think i screw up/waste a lot of the marks there).

oh! speaking of presentations..... in leadership and character, my group did on Alex Ferguson, ManU's manager. the picture above was taken on our presentation day. it was the last class for the subject too. anyway, prior to our turn, i was shivering like mad. serious!! it's been a looooooooooooooong time since i felt the same degree of nervousness. in 2003, when i was one of the supporters for Alsagoff in the PSTE quiz, i felt the strong, uncontrollable shaking too. the feeling was tremendous, really! to think of it, i didnt know why i was damn nervous about the leadership presentation. my legs were literally shaking, like the vortex machine in the lab. fuh~

the end of semester also marks the end of TP life for several of my seniors whom i've come to know and enjoy being with... especially kak khadijah, kak haswani, kak fadzillah... all of them from NI.... haiz~ suddenly, i feel a sense of foreboding... hmmm... how will NI be without our near-to-graduation brothers and sisters. kite2 yang 1st year and 2nd year masih agak mentah lagi.... plus our networking is not strong.

ok ok.... next topic:

i heard from a friend of mine that my alsagoff juniors did not-so-good in english. and maths. hmm.. im sure some of them fared well.. and i am indeed very proud and happy for my sec42005 friends who did far better than their previous attempt. and for those who didnt do well, i shall not offer you sympathy or apology. coz i know that you wont accept that. so let me just say this: you did good.

hmmm... i must say, im still quite amazed that i got A1 for English. seeing that some of my juniors didnt do well, i thought, " how could mine have been so easy? was it easier than this recent one? or are we all justified? " and i must say, that getting A1 for English in the best thing that has happened to me. it surpasses everything i've achieved, be it medals, trophies, top position in class, whatever! i dont care about all that. even the C5 for biology doesnt hamper the joy that i felt and feel. getting that A1 for that particular subject really lifts up my mood, my spirits.

and i am forever thankful to You for this suprising, yet wonderful gift. =)

ok, i think this is long enough for my readers' and my own reading satisfaction. so i shall end here.

to farahin: you feel honoured?? hehe.... kenape plak? kite bukannye princess ke celebrity =p *ish~ kelakar lah dekni..hehe*

dah halal certified rupenye!

i just found out that

CAFE GALILEE and ROTIBOY

are halal!

alhamdulillah~~


cafe galilee: libraries @ bedok, orchard, ang mo kio, jurong east, queenstown, pasir ris, sengkang, woodlands

rotiboy: ang mo kio, beach road, bedok, bugis junction, china square, marina square, parkway parade, raffles place, tampines mall




and rupe2nye, ade pizza hut stall kt singapore polytechnic.... (soh kan?)

o level result jumaat ni!!!

oh.my.god. oh my god ohmygod ohmygod OMG OMG OMG!!!

eh, kejap!

kenape aku yg kecoh pasal result o level ni??! kan dah lame over...

pfft.

never mind.

anyway, especially to my juniors, dan kepada muslims yg ambil o level tahun lepas amnye:

it seems that you can now do nothing to change your result. the outcome. wonderful or dreadful. i just want to share with you one thing: pray. du'a.

yes. that's the key..... in reality, you can still make du'a..... not pray so that your grades will change miraculously, but pray that you can, will, accept whatever verdict that you may get.

it's hard, you know. sometimes you are just bogged down with regret, shame, that you might have not done enough for your o level.... or tied with uncertainty, or suddenly bloated with confidence... it's mixed up.

the most important thing is, you redha with your result. however hard, saddening, disappointing it may be......... that's why you must pray to Allah...ask Him for the utmost strength, to face the reality, to try not to quelch in anger, humiliation...whatsoever.

i mean, you dont know what to expect right? you could get a not-so-good result when you were confident that you would pass with flying colours. or you could just crack under the pressure of not knowing.... wanttoknow, dontwanttoknow.

that was what i did. du'a. coz i was just so worried that i might react irrationally/emotionally when the result comes. i prayed that Allah will strengthen my heart, mind and body to go through the result day, n days after that, and to not give up and give in to syaitan..


*ish~ sebenarnye, susah betul me nak sampaikan ape yg terbuku dlm hati... leceh betul ah tulis dlm bahase inggeris nih!*

pendek kata:

jangan lupa doa ye?

agar Allah tenangkan hati, beri kesabaran dan juga ketabahan pada diri. oh! dan tk lupa juga, kekuatan untuk harungi hari2 yg akan dtg. klw putus asa pon, biarlah rase putus asa itu hilang dgn segera, jadi kite tk dwell dlm kesedihan dan langsung terpengaruh dgn emosi.. jika kite memang layak terima result yg tk baik disebabkan kurang usaha, kurniakanlah rase redha atas kesilapan kite tu... sbb kite manusia ni selalu aje kesal dgn kesilapan lalu... bila dah kesal, tk boleh nak move on... jadi kite mesti berdoa agar rase kesal tu tk terbawak2 smpi menjejas judgement kite..

"Ya Allah, jika aku mendapat keputusan yang baik, lindungilah aku dari rase riak... bangga.."

"walau ape pon keputusannye, kuatkanlah hati ini.."

dan minta kepada Allah, tunjukkan jalan yang terbaik untuk kite ambil...bukakan hati kite, lapangkan dada kite untuk lihat pilihan yang Allah dah tetapkan..... moga2 kite mendapat pimpinan Allah dalam membuat keputusan seterusnya..

Amiin...



it's the least you can do, yet the best thing you should do while waiting for the Big-O day~~



p/s: actually, i still cant get over my o level days.... up until the time when i saw the result... *huge sigh*

i couldn't have imagined

i attended sapphite today (or is it 'tonight'?), an appreciation night organised by saff-perdaus.

it was all ok =) not much in the aturcara, however, overall, it was fine with me.. i got a certificate (recognising individual's contribution to saff in the past year).. but it was not mine. there was another liana (different spelling ya!), so the certificate was meant for her. but the emcee didnt say the full name. nvm, i wasnt really embarrassed anyway. afterwards, i gave the cert to liana, and i got mine eventually =)

i received another unofficial proposal some time during the event... hmmm... i will have to think about it...

oh, yes. about the title of this post:

you see... i cant really believe that i am now involved in a youth-student body/organization/department. i mean, 3 years ago i was busy looking after my school's student society..other than that, competitions and studies...

starting from zip project, i became an observer. and i had a kind of ambition, i think, that one day, i would like to be part of the youth activism (is there such a word??), to actually organize events for other youths/children, to be in the project team.. bla bla bla..

n now, here i am. studying in TP has indeed opened a doorway to this ambition of mine. first, i was introduced to Nur Ikhwan, then NYPMS, n somehow, i got to be a part of ramadhan rocks, a ramadhan project by saff. if you notice, the muslim youth organisations are indeed networking with each other. i mean, from what i know and see, a person in NI is also involved in NYPMS (MVAC, that is) n also contributes in saff, and sometimes, fmsa. or maybe, mendaki.

ingat lagi... zip project was the first experience for me, as to be involved in youth volunteering. at that time, i was sure that i was the only alsagoffian to be involved in the workforce. heh. it was like a special opportunity for me. maybe what i had seen and learn would be useful for my managerial and organisational skills in prisma. oh! n there were alsagoffians involved: they volunteered in zip to streets, i think (i remembered 'ziptoschool' je..)..

i did not know anyone. everything was new to me. so it wasnt a suprise that my part was minute. i couldnt really recall the significance of my role. i was posted to saff centre, which was one of the 'zipcentres'... i did packing of items into the ziplock bags, received and passed few phonecalls. that was it, i guess.

of course, this was also the time i started to become aware of youth activities.. n the familiar faces that were behind them.. i still remember some of the people whom i met during the zip project, n though some of them do not know me, i remember their faces. and those faces i saw/see/will see again about 1+ year(s) later and beyond.

yesterday, i was unknown. and i did not really make friends with the sisters. today, i was part of them, and tomorrow i'll get to meet, properly introduce myself and know more of those familiar faces =)

im not involved in any mosque's youth wing, though. coz i choose not to. for some reasons.

well, i guess, what im trying to say is, baru sekaranglah..bila dah keluar sekolah..akhirnye me dapat libatkan diri dlm aktiviti2 belia...bukanlah maksudnye, mase kt alsagoff dulu, i was restricted/prevented from joining, tapi it was more like, i didnt have the real intentions, nor the right channels and contacts. sekarang, alhamdulillah~, me diberi peluang...

and like i said, these muslim youths im talking about, they're interconnected. =)

it's kinda amazing - all the things that have happened around, and finally, to me. it's God's beautiful and subtle work =)

talk about fate! =p