i just dont know what to say!
with school, school work, more school, school, studies, taekwondo trainings, tutoring, group presentationssss.... i just dont know if i can accept this invitation.
my shoulders felt heavy immediately as i read the invitation letter, was told about the reasons my being invited. my heart still feels heavy. no, wait! it's my thoracic cavity that feels heavy. hah!
heavy with what?? i know, i dunno, i know.... ergh! maybe discouragement, dread... *why is my body having a shivering sensation now?* dissatisfaction...
" I am now pleased to invite you to be part of this vibrant Saff management team. You have been specially recommended by your peers in Saff, to head the the Ramadhan project , under the Programme Management Division . This is testament to your strong leadership and managerial skills, as well as our confidence in your commitment to da'wah and volunteer work. We believe that we have much to learn from you, and that this will be a wonderful learning opportunity for us as a team. "
i dont have to make a decision hastily, of course. n to think of it, this task is some sort of a long term one... it's after my exams anyway..
but, there is something that disturbs me. a lot. that i cant voice it out to anyone. not without the doubt that anyone would want to listen and understand.
my third TKD grading
i was damn nervous yesterday (sunday, 7 jan 07)... nervous-wrecked, to be more accurate... it was quite unnerving, to see myself getting nervous, scared, worried, coz for all i know, i had practised quite well for the grading pattern.
looking deeper, i realised that the feeling bubbled like a boiling pot coz i felt more pressured.. i wanted to get a double promotion.. yes, my little self had whispered to my bigger self that i should get the double promo this time.. considering my moves had more strength..
oh! how humiliating it was! I was humiliated by my own self! you should know your place, young lady! just go bit by bit lah~! why must you crave for that double promotion?? want to get on the fast track is it?? duh!
anyway...im having strong feelings that i will not get the double promo. coz.. hmm.. 3 of my tkd friends were asked to do their patterns again. this usually means that there is a possibility of getting double promotion. 2 guys, as i watched them, did well. 1 girl, i didnt see, coz she stood behind me.. but i reckon she did well too.. but, repeating ur pattern can also mean that you did not fare well the first time. so the judge will ask you to do it again, to see if you'll do better or the same or worse. and this will lead to whether you pass or fail.
no double promo..i guess it's ok.. at least i know that i pass this grading. i just know, you know =) coz there werent really any glitches when i was doing my pattern. *ermmm...do i sound over-confident?? coz im not. im being realistic*
ok, so.. i took pictures! yey! =)
most of the year 1 tkdians who went for the grading.. another 3 or 4 people not in the picture..
i like this picture most! see the background, the station where my friends n i were graded is not in the picture (it's wayy on the right side)
the girls.. not in the picture: shin rong
the guys.. sickos! i said dont move, right???! now look what happen to the picture!
stubborn! serve you right to be displayed here in my blog..with all you antics! boys~~ -_-'
we were all not ready!
supposed to be a serious-face shot.. but who cares! haha!
with jia ling.. black-belt. she was from ITE..*fuh~ mesti budak pandai ar* now in TPenggineering.. =)
with pei yong, the girl who possibly will get a double promotion =) we get along well with each other =)
and by the way, this is my IVP pattern team: janice, pei yong, liyana and yanning. though it is still subject to change.. coach will the select the best to represent TP.. mmMmMmm.. ::
bye!
looking deeper, i realised that the feeling bubbled like a boiling pot coz i felt more pressured.. i wanted to get a double promotion.. yes, my little self had whispered to my bigger self that i should get the double promo this time.. considering my moves had more strength..
oh! how humiliating it was! I was humiliated by my own self! you should know your place, young lady! just go bit by bit lah~! why must you crave for that double promotion?? want to get on the fast track is it?? duh!
anyway...im having strong feelings that i will not get the double promo. coz.. hmm.. 3 of my tkd friends were asked to do their patterns again. this usually means that there is a possibility of getting double promotion. 2 guys, as i watched them, did well. 1 girl, i didnt see, coz she stood behind me.. but i reckon she did well too.. but, repeating ur pattern can also mean that you did not fare well the first time. so the judge will ask you to do it again, to see if you'll do better or the same or worse. and this will lead to whether you pass or fail.
no double promo..i guess it's ok.. at least i know that i pass this grading. i just know, you know =) coz there werent really any glitches when i was doing my pattern. *ermmm...do i sound over-confident?? coz im not. im being realistic*
ok, so.. i took pictures! yey! =)
most of the year 1 tkdians who went for the grading.. another 3 or 4 people not in the picture..
i like this picture most! see the background, the station where my friends n i were graded is not in the picture (it's wayy on the right side)
the girls.. not in the picture: shin rong
the guys.. sickos! i said dont move, right???! now look what happen to the picture!
stubborn! serve you right to be displayed here in my blog..with all you antics! boys~~ -_-'
we were all not ready!
supposed to be a serious-face shot.. but who cares! haha!
with jia ling.. black-belt. she was from ITE..*fuh~ mesti budak pandai ar* now in TPenggineering.. =)
with pei yong, the girl who possibly will get a double promotion =) we get along well with each other =)
and by the way, this is my IVP pattern team: janice, pei yong, liyana and yanning. though it is still subject to change.. coach will the select the best to represent TP.. mmMmMmm.. ::
bye!
disorganized.
i need to clean up the mess in my life.
my everyday schedule..
my commitments..
all are now jumbled up.. i need to organize them into suitable routines.
naik pening sey biler pikir pasal ni!
main subjects, cds, cca, tutoring, tahfiz, MS, social life... and the-most-probable-thing-to-happen dpi.
shrug.
*newest update*
tk jadi nak enrol for DPI *huge relief for me, really!* coz of... not sure if it's appropriate to be mentioned here. sorry.
*end of newest update*
ok, another week is upon us..
so have a good week ahead!
my everyday schedule..
my commitments..
all are now jumbled up.. i need to organize them into suitable routines.
naik pening sey biler pikir pasal ni!
main subjects, cds, cca, tutoring, tahfiz, MS, social life... and the-most-probable-thing-to-happen dpi.
shrug.
*newest update*
tk jadi nak enrol for DPI *huge relief for me, really!* coz of... not sure if it's appropriate to be mentioned here. sorry.
*end of newest update*
ok, another week is upon us..
so have a good week ahead!
The Attraction
ah, yes, ladies and gentlemen... after months of waiting, we're finally here to witness the most anticipating confession by none other by the writer herself.
*winks*
haha..ok, cut the crap!
hmmm..one of the challenges in poly for me, personally, is facing beautiful and good-looking creatures of the male homo sapien sapiens. beautiful? well, yes. i shall not take back that word, albeit using it to describe men..
again, cut the crap! nak gunekan bahase purely english susah ah....susah nak explain ape yg kite nak sampaikan! blergh!
ok, so... mmg hari2 ujian kt sekolah... tapi tk heran jugak ah... sbb dah biase.. lagipon, me bukan jenis yg nampak lelaki wasim je terus "eh! handsomenye lelaki nie" or "tgk kt situ..yang pakai baju merah tu... handsome sey.." YUCK! sakit telinge dengar... tapi... unfortunately, me ade kwn2 sekolah yg macam gitu..jadi terpakselah buat muke selamba bila diorg ckp mcm gitu... kadang2 tu... topic lelaki boleh memanjang plak.... bagi me, isinye cukup tk penting... baik dari memberi gelaran kpd si fulan, kepada cerite "semalam aku chat dgn dekni..." bla bla bla..
kawan2 yg dah kenal me lame mungkin tahu lelaki bagaiman yg me tertarik.. alamak..me tersenyum2 sendiri plak kt sini!... klw tkde yg tahu pon, tkpe.. biar hati me mnie, hanye Tuhan je yg tahu =)
that's why bila ade gathering MSes (Muslim Societies)...or ape2 je event yg melibatkan belia Melayu Islam...me hesitant nak join... walaupon ilmu/pengalaman menunggu disana...tapi me selalu pikir... ramai lelaki ke tidak eh... takut tergugat iman.. silap2, baik niat kite nak tuntun ilmu, niat kite dicemari dgn actions dan pikiran2 yang tk betul..
haiz~
ok... i remembered a cousion of mine (you know who you are!) asking me if i have had crushes before..i answered something like "of course! im a human.." n dia nak tahu sape.. haha! no way that im gonna tell you! but..thinking about it.. i dont think i mind sharing it with my readers... coz it's my past, when i was still quite naive and...i dunno..it's funny when i remember all these..the days of yore.. and i dont think most of you will know who i'll be talking about.. maybe some, or few, of you..
here goes:
my first crush, i think, was a friend of my brother. hah! i was...maybe 7,8,9 or 10 years old back then.. hehe.. dia wasim.. mmg tk dinafikan. as i got older, rase crush2 nie sume dgn sendirinye hilang. lagipon, me tk tahu ape khabar dia skrg.. pendek kate, semuanye normal.. if you ask me, kecil2 dah suke2 org..kwn abang sendiri plak tu, ape yg menariknye ttg dia? hahaha... maaf, me tk dpt nak jwb tu.. sbb me pon tk tahu! haha!
then, my next crush was a relative of me. yes.. as some of you might know.. i dont really talk to my male relatives... dari kecil lagi dah malu2 sakan... plus the fact that me jarang jumpe sedare-mare.. haha! mungkin period yang ketare ialah pri - secondary.. skrg nie, although rase malu masih ade, tapi me dah boleh anggap mereka sbg "just another human being and relative". i dont think you know what i mean. never mind. plus, i have more confidence to talk to them.. yeah..i think another factor would be my level of confidence...dulu2 tu masih low..
so, anyway, klw tk silap bila me ade crush dgn si fulan yg pertama tu overlap dgn yg si fulan kedua.. astaghfirullah~~ bila me pikir balik, camnelah perasaan nie boleh timbul dlm diri me yg masih budak2 nie! setan ni jahat betul! muda2 lagi dia dah kacau kite! and of course, perasaan tu pudar dgn sendirinye. tapi lame tau! bertahun2 baru dah ok. ade jugak penyebab kenape rase suka tu lame hilang. tapi me tk nk disclose kt sini sbb perkare tu adelah satu clue yg obvious skali =)
then...........................
haaa~~ the next one... me pasti some of my friends tahu.. you know who you are my friends... and you know who that person is... klw tk silap, i first saw this person when i was in primary 5. mase tu tk rase ape2...then, ntah eh bila, perasaan suka tu ade... ianya berlarutan sampai menengah 3 gitu...time menengah 4 pon mase ade sisa2 kot.
it was, i daresay, the strongest feeling i had for someone. yes, childish and immature as it sounds, that was what happened. the person doesnt know i exist. i do not know the person personally. all i know is, he's intelligent. n that's what turns me on, usually. it was a hopeless thing, indeed. n a particular friend of mine knows how i actually felt, coz i did confide in her. yes, you know who you are... and im asking you now, if you read this, to keep the matter to yourself ok? forever. coz i know i can trust you.
hmmm... intense feeling, it was. there was no happiness. just empty longings. timid hopes that...urgh~ i dunno what!..i finally got over this person... he is doing well now. and i pray that he is happy and successful, his faith remains strong.
now?
well... mainly infatuation, i admit. poly students.. even org yg tk pernah me jumpe, tp pernah chat, me ade 'crush' ..tk ke merepek tu! kesian bro tu, jadi mangsa! haha..
*4.33am now*
ironinye, org2 yang me ade crush nie adelah org2 yg me tk kenal. what i mean is, they're not my friends n im not their friend.
bila pikir2 balik.... org2 yg single mcm me nie pon tk lepas dari ujian. ye, mmg kite bersih dari maksiat "berpegangan tangan, bergayut kt talipon, etc etc dgn matair".. tapi pada hakikatnye, kite diuji sejauh mane kite mampu menundukkan pandangan, bercakap dgn rajul bila perlu, jage pergaulan, jage hati jgn smpi perasaan yg tk elok timbul, jaga penampilan dan perilaku agar tidak menarik perhatian lelaki.... masya Allah! mmg susah sgt!! sangat2 sukar!
sedangkan dgn sepupu lelaki sendiri, apakah kite jage pergaulan kite dgn dia/mereka????
~sebenarnye, yang biase tu lah yang luarbiase..~
me selalu ingat kate2 nie....sape yg cakap eh? is it mase one of the NI usrah??
sedangkan aku ni seorang hafizah... betape sukarnye untukku menegakkan pendirianku, membela akhlak dan didikan yg telah lama disemai dlm diri, mempraktikkan Islam. betape sukarnye untukku melaksanakan tanggungjawabku sebagai seorg muslimah yg hafizah!! sedangkan al-Quran ade di bahuku..!
Ya Allah~ lindungilah aku daripada menjadi fitnah kepada lelaki... dan jauhkanlah mereka daripadaku, agar hatiku terpelihara...Ya Allah~~
ok, itu je, kawan2...
me bukanlah seorg yg all-round baik... me pasti, ade junior2 yang bace nie akan terkejut bhw kakak kite yg satu nie ade crush kt org... yelah, kt alsagoff dulu selalu strict, berdisiplin.. hehe... simply said, im not an angel, ok?
ape yg penting, kite kena curb feeling2 nie sume... me sendiri tk approve org2 yang bercintan-cintun nie, biarpun mereka kwn2 me sendiri..or my juniors/seniors.. me pelik, do you actually chuck out all that religious knowledge that you've learned? and, without guilty, erase the awareness from you heart and mind? are you denying that God is All-Seeing and All-knowing?
me sedih bile pikirkan nie sume...lebih sedih lagi bila pikir yg me masih kekurangan courage untuk berdepan dgn org mcm gini... ~sikit demi sedikit wahai diri, Allah akan beri kekuatan..~
*4.57am now*
walau apepun, me tetap anggap kamu sebagai kwn... like i said, in the end, you are simply you =)
baiklah, sampai sini je me nak tulis. dah tk smpi hati nak pakse diri untuk stay awake.. aniaya diri jek!
ok... see you around!
p/s: ape yg me tulis nie mungkin tk clear, atau agak draggy..paham2 je lah ye, pagi2 bute me tulis...jadi tahap pemikiran dan rasionaliti tidak optimal.
*winks*
haha..ok, cut the crap!
hmmm..one of the challenges in poly for me, personally, is facing beautiful and good-looking creatures of the male homo sapien sapiens. beautiful? well, yes. i shall not take back that word, albeit using it to describe men..
again, cut the crap! nak gunekan bahase purely english susah ah....susah nak explain ape yg kite nak sampaikan! blergh!
ok, so... mmg hari2 ujian kt sekolah... tapi tk heran jugak ah... sbb dah biase.. lagipon, me bukan jenis yg nampak lelaki wasim je terus "eh! handsomenye lelaki nie" or "tgk kt situ..yang pakai baju merah tu... handsome sey.." YUCK! sakit telinge dengar... tapi... unfortunately, me ade kwn2 sekolah yg macam gitu..jadi terpakselah buat muke selamba bila diorg ckp mcm gitu... kadang2 tu... topic lelaki boleh memanjang plak.... bagi me, isinye cukup tk penting... baik dari memberi gelaran kpd si fulan, kepada cerite "semalam aku chat dgn dekni..." bla bla bla..
kawan2 yg dah kenal me lame mungkin tahu lelaki bagaiman yg me tertarik.. alamak..me tersenyum2 sendiri plak kt sini!... klw tkde yg tahu pon, tkpe.. biar hati me mnie, hanye Tuhan je yg tahu =)
that's why bila ade gathering MSes (Muslim Societies)...or ape2 je event yg melibatkan belia Melayu Islam...me hesitant nak join... walaupon ilmu/pengalaman menunggu disana...tapi me selalu pikir... ramai lelaki ke tidak eh... takut tergugat iman.. silap2, baik niat kite nak tuntun ilmu, niat kite dicemari dgn actions dan pikiran2 yang tk betul..
haiz~
ok... i remembered a cousion of mine (you know who you are!) asking me if i have had crushes before..i answered something like "of course! im a human.." n dia nak tahu sape.. haha! no way that im gonna tell you! but..thinking about it.. i dont think i mind sharing it with my readers... coz it's my past, when i was still quite naive and...i dunno..it's funny when i remember all these..the days of yore.. and i dont think most of you will know who i'll be talking about.. maybe some, or few, of you..
here goes:
my first crush, i think, was a friend of my brother. hah! i was...maybe 7,8,9 or 10 years old back then.. hehe.. dia wasim.. mmg tk dinafikan. as i got older, rase crush2 nie sume dgn sendirinye hilang. lagipon, me tk tahu ape khabar dia skrg.. pendek kate, semuanye normal.. if you ask me, kecil2 dah suke2 org..kwn abang sendiri plak tu, ape yg menariknye ttg dia? hahaha... maaf, me tk dpt nak jwb tu.. sbb me pon tk tahu! haha!
then, my next crush was a relative of me. yes.. as some of you might know.. i dont really talk to my male relatives... dari kecil lagi dah malu2 sakan... plus the fact that me jarang jumpe sedare-mare.. haha! mungkin period yang ketare ialah pri - secondary.. skrg nie, although rase malu masih ade, tapi me dah boleh anggap mereka sbg "just another human being and relative". i dont think you know what i mean. never mind. plus, i have more confidence to talk to them.. yeah..i think another factor would be my level of confidence...dulu2 tu masih low..
so, anyway, klw tk silap bila me ade crush dgn si fulan yg pertama tu overlap dgn yg si fulan kedua.. astaghfirullah~~ bila me pikir balik, camnelah perasaan nie boleh timbul dlm diri me yg masih budak2 nie! setan ni jahat betul! muda2 lagi dia dah kacau kite! and of course, perasaan tu pudar dgn sendirinye. tapi lame tau! bertahun2 baru dah ok. ade jugak penyebab kenape rase suka tu lame hilang. tapi me tk nk disclose kt sini sbb perkare tu adelah satu clue yg obvious skali =)
then...........................
haaa~~ the next one... me pasti some of my friends tahu.. you know who you are my friends... and you know who that person is... klw tk silap, i first saw this person when i was in primary 5. mase tu tk rase ape2...then, ntah eh bila, perasaan suka tu ade... ianya berlarutan sampai menengah 3 gitu...time menengah 4 pon mase ade sisa2 kot.
it was, i daresay, the strongest feeling i had for someone. yes, childish and immature as it sounds, that was what happened. the person doesnt know i exist. i do not know the person personally. all i know is, he's intelligent. n that's what turns me on, usually. it was a hopeless thing, indeed. n a particular friend of mine knows how i actually felt, coz i did confide in her. yes, you know who you are... and im asking you now, if you read this, to keep the matter to yourself ok? forever. coz i know i can trust you.
hmmm... intense feeling, it was. there was no happiness. just empty longings. timid hopes that...urgh~ i dunno what!..i finally got over this person... he is doing well now. and i pray that he is happy and successful, his faith remains strong.
now?
well... mainly infatuation, i admit. poly students.. even org yg tk pernah me jumpe, tp pernah chat, me ade 'crush' ..tk ke merepek tu! kesian bro tu, jadi mangsa! haha..
*4.33am now*
ironinye, org2 yang me ade crush nie adelah org2 yg me tk kenal. what i mean is, they're not my friends n im not their friend.
bila pikir2 balik.... org2 yg single mcm me nie pon tk lepas dari ujian. ye, mmg kite bersih dari maksiat "berpegangan tangan, bergayut kt talipon, etc etc dgn matair".. tapi pada hakikatnye, kite diuji sejauh mane kite mampu menundukkan pandangan, bercakap dgn rajul bila perlu, jage pergaulan, jage hati jgn smpi perasaan yg tk elok timbul, jaga penampilan dan perilaku agar tidak menarik perhatian lelaki.... masya Allah! mmg susah sgt!! sangat2 sukar!
sedangkan dgn sepupu lelaki sendiri, apakah kite jage pergaulan kite dgn dia/mereka????
~sebenarnye, yang biase tu lah yang luarbiase..~
me selalu ingat kate2 nie....sape yg cakap eh? is it mase one of the NI usrah??
sedangkan aku ni seorang hafizah... betape sukarnye untukku menegakkan pendirianku, membela akhlak dan didikan yg telah lama disemai dlm diri, mempraktikkan Islam. betape sukarnye untukku melaksanakan tanggungjawabku sebagai seorg muslimah yg hafizah!! sedangkan al-Quran ade di bahuku..!
Ya Allah~ lindungilah aku daripada menjadi fitnah kepada lelaki... dan jauhkanlah mereka daripadaku, agar hatiku terpelihara...Ya Allah~~
ok, itu je, kawan2...
me bukanlah seorg yg all-round baik... me pasti, ade junior2 yang bace nie akan terkejut bhw kakak kite yg satu nie ade crush kt org... yelah, kt alsagoff dulu selalu strict, berdisiplin.. hehe... simply said, im not an angel, ok?
ape yg penting, kite kena curb feeling2 nie sume... me sendiri tk approve org2 yang bercintan-cintun nie, biarpun mereka kwn2 me sendiri..or my juniors/seniors.. me pelik, do you actually chuck out all that religious knowledge that you've learned? and, without guilty, erase the awareness from you heart and mind? are you denying that God is All-Seeing and All-knowing?
me sedih bile pikirkan nie sume...lebih sedih lagi bila pikir yg me masih kekurangan courage untuk berdepan dgn org mcm gini... ~sikit demi sedikit wahai diri, Allah akan beri kekuatan..~
*4.57am now*
walau apepun, me tetap anggap kamu sebagai kwn... like i said, in the end, you are simply you =)
baiklah, sampai sini je me nak tulis. dah tk smpi hati nak pakse diri untuk stay awake.. aniaya diri jek!
ok... see you around!
p/s: ape yg me tulis nie mungkin tk clear, atau agak draggy..paham2 je lah ye, pagi2 bute me tulis...jadi tahap pemikiran dan rasionaliti tidak optimal.
insomniac?
urgghh~
im damn tired now. it's 3am in the morning and i still havent closed my eyes. i spent the night editing Communication Skills presentation PPT slides... putting in the animation n stuff. but what took me sooo long was choosing the right headings, with designs from flamingtext.com. in the process, i discovered quite a number of attractive and pleasant-to-my-eyes designs blended into 1 by myself...though the gallery for headings has limited designs, the fonts are interesting to look at... =)
hah~~ i just thought...why dont i stay up the whole night? that would be nice, wouldnt it? -.-" and later, i will get a nice dark rings around my eyes. *3.24am now*
oo... i've added few of my favourite songs here. except for 'winter' and 'victory'... i enjoy listening to those songs, but the ones i put here are different from what i prefer. n im just too lazy to change songs. it's ironic, but im thankful.. that there is finally a way to play several songs at one go.. i still remember that few years ago, i was frustrated coz the music player can only cater for 1 music.. that was YEARS ago.. n now, voila! everything's made simple. thanks to.... umm... whoever those people are...im grateful! =)
actually, i dont have any class today...so my 'firstdayofschool' is tomorrow..but i have a group discussion later at 11am... then, tkd training at 6.30pm...in between, im gonna do some errands... *heaven!* hehe...this is the good thing about poly life... whenever there's break time, you can just get out to anywhere you want..provided that the break is long ah....2 hours..3 hours..4 hours.. yeah, definitely a good thing.
*3.31am now*
2007's here and it seems...
it seems as though it was just now, or yesterday, or the day before yesterday, that i was 'free'....in the sense that i was without any school, or job, happy and yet confused and worried... i was in that position, indeed. how far have i come now? hmmm... i've moved on... and now it's my juniors turn to be in my shoes, n the shoes of all my predecessors.. i guess all of us must go through that particular stage.
looking back,
ouh~
i just dont know what to say...
as much as i want to return to that place, to embrace those moments, to relive the past... as much i want to keep them all..
i could only touch the wind.. the memories carress in between my fingers.. n fade away...
as much as i want to hold dear to those memories, to play them again and again in my mind...
i could only look from afar... wishing againt all odds that i was there again..
when i remember little stuff about my past.... or think of my friends... there is always a knot in my heart... tightness in my chest.. is it longing? yes, i do think of you, my friend. oh, how i remember your smile and laugh! it doesnt matter if our principles are different, or that you do things that are of my disliking..in the end, you are simply you =)
*3.46am now*
ok, my head feels a bit tight right now. tight? err...i dunno how else to describe the sensation.. pardon my lack of vocabulary..
i shall stop now. though i would love to write another post =p
im damn tired now. it's 3am in the morning and i still havent closed my eyes. i spent the night editing Communication Skills presentation PPT slides... putting in the animation n stuff. but what took me sooo long was choosing the right headings, with designs from flamingtext.com. in the process, i discovered quite a number of attractive and pleasant-to-my-eyes designs blended into 1 by myself...though the gallery for headings has limited designs, the fonts are interesting to look at... =)
hah~~ i just thought...why dont i stay up the whole night? that would be nice, wouldnt it? -.-" and later, i will get a nice dark rings around my eyes. *3.24am now*
oo... i've added few of my favourite songs here. except for 'winter' and 'victory'... i enjoy listening to those songs, but the ones i put here are different from what i prefer. n im just too lazy to change songs. it's ironic, but im thankful.. that there is finally a way to play several songs at one go.. i still remember that few years ago, i was frustrated coz the music player can only cater for 1 music.. that was YEARS ago.. n now, voila! everything's made simple. thanks to.... umm... whoever those people are...im grateful! =)
actually, i dont have any class today...so my 'firstdayofschool' is tomorrow..but i have a group discussion later at 11am... then, tkd training at 6.30pm...in between, im gonna do some errands... *heaven!* hehe...this is the good thing about poly life... whenever there's break time, you can just get out to anywhere you want..provided that the break is long ah....2 hours..3 hours..4 hours.. yeah, definitely a good thing.
*3.31am now*
2007's here and it seems...
it seems as though it was just now, or yesterday, or the day before yesterday, that i was 'free'....in the sense that i was without any school, or job, happy and yet confused and worried... i was in that position, indeed. how far have i come now? hmmm... i've moved on... and now it's my juniors turn to be in my shoes, n the shoes of all my predecessors.. i guess all of us must go through that particular stage.
looking back,
ouh~
i just dont know what to say...
as much as i want to return to that place, to embrace those moments, to relive the past... as much i want to keep them all..
i could only touch the wind.. the memories carress in between my fingers.. n fade away...
as much as i want to hold dear to those memories, to play them again and again in my mind...
i could only look from afar... wishing againt all odds that i was there again..
when i remember little stuff about my past.... or think of my friends... there is always a knot in my heart... tightness in my chest.. is it longing? yes, i do think of you, my friend. oh, how i remember your smile and laugh! it doesnt matter if our principles are different, or that you do things that are of my disliking..in the end, you are simply you =)
*3.46am now*
ok, my head feels a bit tight right now. tight? err...i dunno how else to describe the sensation.. pardon my lack of vocabulary..
i shall stop now. though i would love to write another post =p
©Everything in its time - Powered By Blogger
Thanks to Blogger Templates | punta cana dominican republic