Kallang (part 2)

On a happier note,

I went ice-skating yesterday! Better still, I fell! Woohoo~ *genuinely happy*

After my first-time experience ice-skating on the last day of camp, which was a few weeks back, I told myself that I will do it again once I got my pay. And I would love love love to bring abang and Aqila (kak Maya tak boleh uh.. cuba teka kenapa? *wink*). I was excited that day, coz in 2 hours, I went from holding the parapet for support to holding my partner's arm and skating slowwly+hesitantly to skating by myself (!). That's a speedy progress to me. And the bonus - I didn't fall!

I think my being able to pick up ice-skating rather quickly can be attributed to the first rollerblading 'lesson' with abang and mak. I mean, I fell a lot that time and couldn't balance at all. So since I've sort of passed that stage, the struggle was shorter in the ice-skating rink. Alhamdulillah~ Alhamdulillah~

When I reached home, I even surfed Youtube to watch ice-skating videos, despite the post-camp fatigue that was creeping in! Haha! Semangat nah!

So yesterday was my second-time, and Aqila's first. She was more scared than me. hehehe.. I reminded myself throughout the session that I needed to be patient, that now was the time for me to teach, like how my partner was there to teach me. And, alhamdulillah, at the end of it, she gained a little confidence to skate without holding anything (but with me beside her holding out my hand, just in case). =)

Sidetrack a bit - I forgot my partner's name.. =( She was a faci for another group. I actually thought she was older. But! She just graduated from pre-U2 at Aljunied. haha.. And we didn't really talk with one another before.. so I am grateful that she let me hold her hand during those crucial first moments. Skating together gave us an opportunity to chat.

You know, I wished I could stop and take pictures during both times I was there. Coz I saw things - small things - that touched my heart, or made me laugh. A big sister helping her younger sibling, two secondary-school-looking guys holding each other's shoulder so that the more experienced one could help balance the first-timer, a mother skating with her little boy and girl, a little boy skating in a cute silly manner with the skating aid.. made me smile.. ahh.. wanted to keep those instances in my head.

Anyway, I kind of thought that my 'initiation' would not be complete til I had my first fall. Even though I secretly wished I would not. And I finally did fall on my back, at 2.27pm - when I tried to skate faster.. as a result, I could not maintain my balance. I was smiling like an idiot, alright! Heh. I fell again at 2.57pm, on my front this time. Yes, I checked my watch, coz I wanted to record these down. ^_______^

This activity is expensive, so I know I won't be able to do it often. Yet I imagine myself going there on a weekday night after work, just to relieve myself. Hmmm.. that would be nice, innit?

A warning to my fellow Singaporeans - don't go there on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. They charge $20 for 2-hour session, not including gloves and socks. On normal days the fee is $14. I must admit that I was upset.. my $12 gone just like that, but I immediately reminded myself to just enjoy the day.. enjoy the session with my sister. Tak selalu Allah kasi ni'mat keluar jalan2 dengan adik =) InshaAllah.. that $12 is not a waste.

Ice-skating for the first time, on 5 Dec 2011

Kallang


Seeing this building and its surrounding reminds me of RR'07. I remember that we went here for recce. Kak Nisa' Samat was driving. I remember losing the camera and returning home very late at night. I remember the point at which I realised SOMETHING SIGNIFICANT about my parents and their support. I wrote an email to my team members a few days after that.. And I think, that recce day was when I started to feel uncomfortable about something. Hmm..

Anyway, I also remember that somewhere around here, the pax gathered on the first morning for registration and briefing, and at a carpark somewhere, the bicycles were carried off the lorry and arranged nicely by the logistics team.

You know what? Suddenly, I miss RR'07. *sigh*




The newest thing in my Favourite Biscuits list =) nyummm!

Early morning walk at Marina Barrage

This morning...





It's windy here. Quiet and calm.
Aaaahh... such pleasure~


(There's a solar park, too. I didn't know that.)


The day before, I took a short clip following my teammates to find a spot for eating our dinner.


It was past 6.30pm, and the sky was dotted with many kites. Many people, of course. So I really cherished the opportunity of a morning stroll. It was just me and my own idling.

It feels good to be able to reach home before sunset. Alhamdulillah~


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Weather

When I read novels, or newspaper clips (from Life section, most prolly), or some random articles on social interaction or motivation, I would sometimes come across excerpts stating that weather is always a topic for small talk. Y'know, to 'break the silence'. I would pause and think, really? People do that?

And so, lately, I start to notice that people do like to comment about the weather. Like, when my colleague was driving and I was sitting beside him.. and he mentioned something like.. "it's raining" "hot, isn't it?" or another colleague who said something about humidity and the weather being inconsistent. (or was it the same colleague? Heh.) Honestly, I am not interested in that conversation. But I would reply politely, go with the flow, as one would say. I prefer to just keep quiet or answer questions that are meaningful.

I wonder why can't people talk about things like..

1- So, what did you do yesterday?
2- What music do you like to listen to?
3- I was reading an article about ______
4- Do you know that _______
5- I heard you have a cat, what's its name?
6- Hey.. if you don't mind, I want to ask you about your religion.
7- Do you play sports?
8- Tell me about ________
9- What do you think of _________
10- Any interesting stuff you read from the net?
11- Oh! I bought (I watched, I went to..) ________ and it's awesome! [description, review here]

I am not saying that people are not chatting about these at all, what I am saying is when trying to bridge a conversation gap, let's pick a topic from which you and the other party can share further, rather than the weather. C'mon! Even if you don't know that person very well, surely you can find other common themes. And even if you both won't elaborate more, at least one would learn a little something new from the other and vice versa. Why talk about something damn obvious?!

Writing this, I really hope I won't be someone who brings up the weather topic in any conversation. 

I usually keep my mouth shut and look out the window during car rides. It is either because I simply do not have anything to say, or that I feel slightly awkward being in the same vehicle (the latter usually applies to people I am not close with). So I would like it if that person asks or share with me any of the above, except no. 5. Coz I don't have a cat. No pets.

Speaking of weather, I recorded a short clip while waiting for the rain to recede at Biopolis. We were stuck there for about 20-30 minutes. Last Monday. I want to show how heavy the rain was. Could hardly see the Fusionopolis building!


p.s. the gals in the vid are my colleagues and attachment students. Hee~~

The Room where I sat for a writing competition


Who would've thought I will be coming back here, after.. hmm.. let's see, 7 years?
I think, the first and last time I stepped into Madrasah al-Arabiah's old campus (now the building is Muhammadiyah's HQ) was on the day of the English essay competition. I think I was in secondary 2 or 3. On Sir Kamar's recommendation, if I am not mistaken (Eh? Mana Aszafirah, eh? For all I know, she's better  at writing stories in English than me. Or, maybe she participated also? Hmm.. tak ingat) I cannot remember what were the topics available, and definitely cannot recall what I wrote - narrative or descriptive or argumentative - and I am pretty sure I got saguhati. Hee.. What I remember clearly though, is that I did not do well, because of nerves and/or I couldn't think/create plots in my head fast enough.

Lemme try to find if I blogged about this event..




Nope, can't find any post even mentioning about it.

So yesterday I went to a camp briefing at no. 14 Jalan Selamat. We performed maghrib at level 1 (the prize giving ceremony for the English writing competition was in that hall too!). Was looking for kain, so kak Munirah directed me to the room in the video. I immediately recognised it! hee.. So yeah, was reminiscing about that day. In my memory, I somehow see Zafeerah Zakaria and Huda Ibrahim's female (younger) cousin.. Maybe Zafeerah was the rep for Madrasah al-Arabiah?

Anyhoo, speaking of Muhammadiyah.. I've bought a Muslimah swimwear. Like, finally!! *suker* Bought at Ova, Thaya brand. Expensive, in my opinion. But, 1) I guess that's the market price (even if I buy in Malaysia) and 2) I have saved up for this, so I did not mind. Aqila got hers from Andalus. Too bad that the smallest size Andalus has is 4-XL. We decided to purchase it, though, coz it is unknown when the new stock will come, and we do not want to wait. We've postponed our plan to enroll in a swimming class back in September, due to Aqila's chicken pox, her school exam, her O Level exam and my own busi-ness. So.. this December.. semoga Allah izinkan kami belajar berenang. nak fulfill sunnah ni~ =D


15 minutes after this post was published --------

Found it. I mentioned about the writing competition in a somewhat, errr.. pessimistic rant. Gosh! When I read those words.. I just thought.. wow.. I really sounded inferior, negative.. didn't I? Yet, I know that what I was feeling in that particular moment was frustration.. tired and pressured coz it was one thing after another. I wonder if my blood pressure was ever on the rise during my sec 3 year. Or maybe it was not inferiority - It was merely comparing oneself with something or someone bigger and better. So.. was I being realistic, but also a bit too hard on myself? I don't know. Am trying to analyse this note written by a 15-year old me, trying to look from the outside.

I think I've changed. A bit.




Alhamdulillah, Aqila lulus!

Kite pun tumpang gembira~



Pakai kasut hitam lah tahun depan =D

Abang's post-nikah

I was flipping thru Abang & kak Maya's wedding album at around noon today, while frying the spring rolls (heh). I realised that I like these two pictures.. May Allah bless our family with sakeenah, mawaddah and rahmah.. =')
I have always liked Abang's smile ^__^ I think it's because of his incisors. He also has a dimple.
And kak Maya looks cute when she smiles.
I love it all the more whenever I see them laugh.
Subhanallah..!

Now there are 6 of us, since 8th May 2010
(Mak and Ayah got married in May too!)

"Yeah, but.."

Am having a FB conversation with Shikin.. Been a loNg time since I last saw or even talked to her. Topics range from uni degree, working life, interest, travel, migration, money... aahh.. We have the same problems, the same sentiments!

She just tagged me in a post about a blog article on "3 reasons to travel while you're young" by Jeff Coins. Sungguh terkena my batang hidung! Ohhhh, I reeeeaaallly cannot wait!

Patience, Liyana, patience..


Lovely


I like this picture, and I like the two people here. I jussst noticed that my nose looks a bit red. I remember that I had cried quite a bit before we ate ice cream and posed for picture. Why I cried? Because I was very happy to see kak Huda, coz suddenly I realised I had missed her. I remember something else - I felt sadness too, when I was hugging her tightly. Sad about something. Quite overwhelming. Hmm..

And right now, I miss her. Saw recently on Facebook that she has given birth to a baby girl. Gosh! I think I have not seen her for more than a year!

Kak Afifah, too. The last time I saw her was... in early March. She gave birth recently as well. Alhamdulillah.. =)

Baarakallahu feehinna~ Baarakallahu feehinna~




In Time

I watched In Time movie trailer a couple of hours ago. I must say.. I like the plot! A future where people don't age past 25. Yet, those who are poor will die young. And rich people can buy time to live longer.



I am intrigued by the idea. I wonder who came up with it (director? producer?). People's imagination, ey?

Reminds me of The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. At first, I thought "whaatt seh.. is the storyline?" Then, I got it! Rich people make clones of themselves to harvest new organs. The thing is, they did not know that the company that does the work actually grow real, fully-formed humans. When promoting the program to potential clients, the director says that they only grow organs, or something like that.. But when someone came (I can't remember who.. a person from ethics committee, or a top-secret police), he had to explain that when they tried to grow and maintain a human (or rather, preformed human) in a 'vegetative state', it dies, and so the organs cannot be used. The solution is to grow adult humans, educate them at pre-school level so that their intellect is child-like and they will not likely to question things, and lock them in a facility so they won't know a real world exists. Read the movie plot here.

One of the scenes from The Island that made me go, "what?!" and then, "ohhh!! Now I know what's going on!" is when a pregnant woman felt she was going to give birth. So everyone was happy.. and she was wheeled into the operating theatre, where she did give birth (or was it caesarean.. I can't remember). But! The doctor immediately took the baby away, despite protests by the mother who wanted to hold him/her, and injected something into the woman's bloodstream. Then, she died. The doctor carried the baby to a waiting room, and guess what??? The exact same woman and her spouse was there! They were delighted at the arrival of their baby. Get it?

Sick, sick, sick. If this ever occurs in real life.. But I believe it will never happen. We humans will never have the ability to clone humans successfully. It is just soo complex, so awesome, that only The Creator knows how to do it. Maybe we can engineer organs and tissues, but a human being? Na-ah. But then again, I wouldn't know, would I? If Allah says "Kun", if He allows this to happen, it will. Bewildered as I will be, I must know that His Wisdom surpasses everything, and there surely is a reason. Istidraaj for the Kaafiruun, maybe?

Back to In Time.. I think I will watch the movie (online of course) when it is released. Wanna know how it turns out.
"I may be valuable. But I am not indispensable."


Lately I have been saying this to myself when at work. I still can't make up my mind whether to stick around, or move on.

childhood songs (part 2)

Mula-mula, dengar lagu Hanzalah nyanyian Rabbani kat Youtube. Kemudian, klik lagu nyanyian Nadamurni. Live performance. Allah..! Dengan jubahnya, serbannya, mata yang bercelak.. itulah trademark rijal Arqam dulu, kan? Walaupun kite masih kecil mase tu.. memori ni tetap ada. Bila tengok video tersebut tadi.. terdetik kat hati, "alangkah sopan dan cermat penampilan mereka!" Sejuk mata memandang, kan?

Selepas tu, klik pautan2 lain pula. Terjumpa lagu ini -


Kegelapan Malam - Nadamurni

Sangat-sangat nostalgic! Rasanya, tak pernah dengar lagu ni selain dari kaset. Kite ingat lagi, kite ada kaset lagu2 dari Arqam, termasuk Nadamurni. Tapi dah lamaaa hilang entah ke mana. Kalau jumpa pun, bukannya boleh dengar, sebab kat rumah takde cassette player. Jadi, boleh dikatakan, tak dengar lagu ni sejak 13-14 tahun yang lalu. Reaksi bila dengar lagu ni kat Youtube, setelah sekian lama? Something immediately clicked! "Oh..Ohhh..Ohh!! Ni dia..! Pernah dengar!"

Terharu kite tau! Dapat jumpa balik lagu2 ni semua.. sebab masa kecil dulu kite sukerrr dengar.. sedap! Dan bila dah besar ni, baru lah dapat dengar betul2 dan hayati liriknya ^_______^


Rindu - Nadamurni


Pemimpin Tiga Darjat - Nadamurni

Tak lupa juga lagu2 daripada Soutus Sofwa~ Senarai lagu2 mereka dengan kemudahan 'download' ada kat laman ni http://elfaizi.blogspot.com/2010/04/soutus-sofwa.html (kepada saudara Zulhafizi yang mengumpulkan info ini, jazaakallah!)

Required document.

I have found a course which I reeeeeaaaalllyy think is suitable for me! But!


Hmmmmm.... I do not have a mahram who is a student or applicant from that university. Takde chance ah ni ='(
And if you see point #5.. My time is running out lah, can?
Allah.. ujian.. ujian..

Saya rindu nak ke sini...
InshaAllah, soon!

Never heard of 'Hair Brushing Syndrome'

Tak sangka penyakit macam gini pun wujud!

--------------------------------------------------------


No Rapunzel, schoolgirl may die if she combs her hair


London, Aug 18 (IANS) A schoolgirl in Scotland has a rare condition following which she has been asked not to comb her hair too vigorously as it could lead to her brain shutting down.

Megan Stewart, 13, has a rare condition - Hair Brushing Syndrome - which means she must avoid wearing polyester or touching balloons. Any contact with electrical charges could confuse her brain into switching itself off or sending signals to her heart and lungs to make them do so, Daily Express reported.

Stewart has to dampen her hair to reduce static and lie down before combing it and is banned from participating in school science experiments.

The teenager, from Wishaw, Lanarkshire, Scotland was diagnosed three years ago, after she collapsed as her mother -Sharon brushed her hair.

Her mother Stewart, 41, said: 'I was brushing her hair when she flopped over and her lips turned blue. I thought she was having a fit, so we called the paramedics. It was really scary.'

The girl was taken to a hospital where medics revived her. It was two months later that neurologists made the diagnosis.

Doctors at the Royal Hospital for Sick Children at Yorkhill in Glasgow, believe birth complications may be responsible for the condition.

She also suffers from asthma and dorsal stream dysfunction, a problem with the connection between her eye and brain which means she can't see fast-moving objects.

But the determined girl says: 'I know not to brush my hair too fast and if I feel unwell to stop doing it. I think I know what my limits are. I don't let it affect me and I can still live a normal life.'

My first time..

To LDMM's Art Studio at Bukit Timah Shopping Centre



It was national day and Abang, kak Maya, Aqila and I were on our way to our cousin's place for Iftar. Kak Maya had to drop by her workplace to take something. Since I had not yet seen it (the rest of the family have, except Ayah), I followed her. It was my first time stepping to Bukit Timah Shopping Centre as well. Bila dah masuk, I thought "ohhhh... begini rupanya!" Not a place for retail outlets. I saw maid agencies, a pedicure/manicure shop, a shop selling shoes. I think ni memang tempat untuk service providers (like, renovation companies, music school..) and stockists.

I like the ambience of the studio very much! Even though it is small, it is bright with colourful artworks. Kinda cozy too. I just hope it doesn't get crowded, you know, when students are there.


To a car inspection center at Sin Ming Road



This was 2 days ago. Followed my colleague to inspect her car (but turned out she didn't have to. Just had to pay road tax) en route to Toyogo. Her car is not the blue one by the way. The vid ended abruptly coz a pak cik suddenly appeared from behind and said that I may be caught for taking a video. Yikes! I freaked out and quickly pressed the stop button.

A Sunday in The Lab



This was back in February. Morning of 27th. I think there were 2 things I had to do. But I remember just one - adding antibiotic to the LC3 cells.

By the way, in the video the setting looks very dark and dim, but actually it is not. And there is this one moment where I did not pick the forceps right the first time. Mind you, I was looking into the cameraphone, so I thought I was reaching for the forceps but ter-overshot plak. heh.

After everything's done, I went to masjid Muhajirin for the camp run-through.



There are people who don't have fingerprints? I didn't know that.

A hand with no fingerprints.
The rare condition adermatoglyphia causes people to be born without fingerprints (file picture).

Photograph courtesy Eli Sprecher, American Journal of Human Genetics

Rachel Kaufman

for National Geographic News

Published August 9, 2011

A genetic mutation causes people to be born without fingerprints, a new study says.

Almost every person is born with fingerprints, and everyone's are unique. But people with a rare disease known as adermatoglyphia do not have fingerprints from birth. Affecting only four known extended families worldwide, the condition is also called immigration-delay disease, since a lack of fingerprints makes it difficult for people to cross international borders.

In an effort to find the cause of the disease, dermatologist Eli Sprechersequenced the DNA of 16 members of one family with adermatoglyphia inSwitzerland. Seven had normal fingerprints, and the other nine did not. After investigating a number of genes to find evidence of mutation, the researchers came up empty-handed—until a grad student finally found the culprit, a smaller version of a gene called SMARCAD1. (Get a genetics overview.)

The larger SMARCAD1 is expressed throughout the body, but the smaller form acts only on the skin. Sure enough, the nine family members with no fingerprints had mutations in that gene.

Being born without fingerprints doesn't occur simply because one gene has been turned on or off, Sprecher said. Rather, the mutation causes copies of the SMARCAD1 gene to be unstable.

That mutation is also the first link in a long chain of events that ultimately affects fingerprint development in the womb. The rest of the links in the chain are still a mystery, said Sprecher, of the Tel Aviv Sourasky Medical Center.

(See skin pictures.)

No-Fingerprint Disease Not Harmful

Other inherited diseases that result in a lack of fingerprints—such as Naegeli syndrome and dermatopathia pigmentosa reticularis—are caused by problems with the protein keratin-14.

(Related: "Born Without Fingerprints: Scientists Solve Mystery of Rare Disorder.")

These conditions "manifest not only with lack of fingerprints, but also with a number of other critical features—a thickening of the skin, problems with nail formation," Sprecher said.

By contrast, immigration-delay disease doesn't come with any side effects besides a minor reduction in the ability to sweat. In general, people with the disease "are otherwise completely healthy, like you and me."

By further studying the Swiss family, Sprecher said, it might be possible to solve the mystery of fingerprints overall.

"You go from a rare disease to a biological insight of general importance," he said. "We would never have been able to get to this gene if not for the study of this family."

The fingerprint research was published August 12 in the American Journal of Human Genetics.

From the outermost to the deepest

Oh wow! Simply amazing, what this infographic shows. I love the way all this information is presented. Ilmu baru nih! Among other things - Didn't know one kind of bird can fly above the death zone, and that it takes 18 minutes to boil an egg at Everest's altitude, and that temperature rises as atmospheric pressure increases. Didn't know about Mariana Trench as well.

Read on ok? ^___^

p.s. and, it is my first time coming across ouramazingplanet.com. Some of their contents are interesting!


Our Amazing Planet explores Earth from its peaks to it mysterious depths.
Source OurAmazingPlanet.com, Exploring the wonder and beauty of planet Earth through exclusive news, features and images.
from http://srikandiislamiyyah.blogspot.com/2010/12/ketika-akhwat-jatuh-cinta.html via Marliyana's blog ---

Yang mereka rasakan adalah penyesalan yang amat sangat, atas sebuah hijab yang tersingkap...
Ketika lelaki yang tak halal baginya, bergelayut dalam alam fikirannya, yang mereka rasakan adalah ketakutan yang begitu besar akan cinta yang tak suci lagi...

Ketika rasa rindu mulai merekah di hatinya, yang mereka rasakan adalah kesedihan yang tak terperih akan sbuah asa yang tak semestinya…

Tak ada senyum bahagia, tak ada rona malu…
Yang ada adalah malam-malam yang dipenuhi air mata penyesalan atas cinta-Nya yang ternodai…
Yang ada adalah kegelisahan, karena rasa yang salah arah…
Yang ada adalah penderitaan akan hati yang mulai sakit…

Ketika Akhwat Jatuh Cinta…

Bukan harapan untuk bertemu yang mereka nantikan, tapi yang ada adalah rasa ingin menghindar dan menjauh dari orang tersebut…

Tak ada kata-kata cinta dan rayuan…

Yang ada adalah kekhawatiran yang amat sangat, akan hati yang mulai merindukan lelaki yang belum halal atau bahkan tak akan pernah halal baginya…

Ketika mereka jatuh cinta, maka perhatikanlah, kegelisahan di hatinya yang tak mampu lagi memberikan ketenangan di wajahnya yang dulu teduh…

Mereka akan terus berusaha mematikan rasa itu bagaimanapun caranya…
Bahkan kendati dia harus menghilang, maka itu pun akan mereka lakukan...

Alangka kasihannya jika akhwat jatuh cinta…
Karena yang ada adalah penderitaan…

Tapi ukhti…
Bersabarlah…
Jadikan ini ujian dari Rabbmu…

Matikan rasa itu secepatnya…
Pasang tembok pembatas antara kau dan dia…
Pasang duri dalam hatimu, agar rasa itu tak tumbuh bersemai…
Cuci dengan air mata penyesalan akan hijab yang sempat tersingkap...

Putar balik kemudi hatimu, agar rasa itu tetap terarah hanya padaNya…
Pupuskan rasa rindu padanya dan kembalikan dalam hatimu rasa rindu akan cinta Rabbmu…

Ukhti… Jangan khawatir kau akan kehilangan cintanya…

Karena bila memang kalian ditakdirkan bersama, maka tak akan ada yang dapat mencegah kalian bersatu…

Tapi ketahuilah, bagaimana pun usaha kalian untuk bersatu, jika Allah tak menghendakinya, maka tak akan pernah kalian bersatu…

Ukhti… Bersabarlah… Biarkan Allah yang mengaturnya...
Maka yakinlah... Semuanya akan baik-baik saja…

Semua Akan Indah Pada Waktunya…



very well-expressed. the description is spot-on. Allah.. please strengthen our hearts.
oh. my. god.

i cant believe it.

i just got to know that my TP senior is the cousin of my alsagoff junior who is now in TP.

i dont know why this ticks me off.

i guess it's because my world is getting too small.

singapore is getting too small.

dont tell me, 'it's just a coincidence'. save it.

way too small.

i want to fly away and start afresh somewhere. seriously.





maybe im being overly dramatic.

gotta chill, yo!

(and for the record, this has nothing to do with the senior or junior)

Yeay!!

I have succeeded in rotating the 'Twister in a Bottle' video!

All thanks to an anonymous person who commented on that post. Sorry, Mr Wiredless, I only noticed your comment today (which turned out not to be an spam ad). And I did watch your video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWZSR11r20Q. I think I get it - spin the top bottle as the water is 'going down' halfway, so the vortex inside increases. Right? Nice!

And thank you, for recommending Corel VideoStudio. I just downloaded it. Will use it to rotate my other videos =)


p.s. I have replaced the original 'Twister in a Bottle' video with the edited one.

Sunset on 18 July 2011

It was 7.38pm. I had returned to the lab after performing maghrib prayer at level 8. After taking my labcoat, I went out to the lift lobby, to go to level 6 cell culture lab. And I saw this.





I stood there in awe. It was just soo.. magnificent! Especially the rays.. Clear cut rays. And the sunset hues - shades of orange, yellow, blue, reddish.. - were... beautiful! I don't know what to say. Several seconds later, I decided to capture it. I want to remember this. And I want to share this with other people. ^________^

I know that recording it with my cameraphone wouldn't show the reeeaall thing, the real burst of colours, but it was the best I got. Nevertheless, I am satisfied.

I am fortunate to have nice sky views from where I am working. If I am in the lab, I can enjoy the view outside the window (like the last two pictures below).. say, when I am washing the labware, or making PBS, or washing my hands, or while wearing my labcoat. If I stand at the small balcony near the lift lobby, I can see Anderson JC, the MRT track.. and yes, a clear view of the sky. I will look up and ponder. and wonder at the beauty of it all. If it's raining hard, whooaa.. what I see is enough to make me shudder. Like this one -






Subhanallah.. Subhanallah..
Just saw kak Ezsra's 'Amazing Borneo' album. wow, wow, and WoW.

Please remind me to propose a climbing expedition to my husband for a couple getaway trip. When the time comes.

Or backpacking to Europe (Eastern Europe, please. Followed by the Scandinavian countries). And perhaps, go down to Turkey and Middle Asia.

I wonder if anyone is up for a two-year break, to be my travel companion (and then live for the rest of his life with me).

That'll be lovely, innit? The ta'aruf curve would be steep. Really get to know this person inside-out through a long rough, tough, challenging-but-worth-it, care-free journey. No, I am not talking about romance plus adventure. I am talking about adventure with a mahram around, to be my leader (sometimes, I need someone to point things to. Help make decisions when I can't. I think I will make a good map reader and a decent navigator, though), laughing buddy (keeping one another sane), motivator (if I am scared to jump off the bridge or cross the freezing cold river), protector (I will be in strange places with strange men!) and a patient friend (when I run out of patience with myself, or accidentally unleash the ogre inside). And my imam, of course (him leading the prayer, reciting the qur'an together, tasmi' one another's memorised verses, fasting together.. now that's romantic sweet!).

Maybe each of us should learn a foreign language or two.

Maybe I should resume TKD as well. You know, self-defence. You can't always depend on your husband, right? I mean, what if he's in the loo and you're out alone? Also, 2 people with fighting skills are better than one, don't you think? Increase the chances of survival. Heh. Just thinking out loud.

Saya mahu sematkan kata-kata ini

Aras tertinggi dalam persahabatan adalah Itsar - melebihkan sahabat daripada diri sendiri. Aras paling rendah pula adalah bersangka baik dan berlapang dada. Andai tiada sangka baik, maka akan musnahlah hubungan persahabatan itu.


mukasurat 231, "Sinergi", oleh Hilal Asyraf, terbitan Galeri Ilmu.
Terasa dekat, kematian itu.

Baru dapat berita daripada mak - sepupu mak, yang lebih muda darinya, meninggal dunia; pukul 10 lebih malam tadi. terjatuh semasa berada di dalam tandas.

Rasa bersalah kalau diri ni rasa gembira, rasa mahu ketawa. sekarang bukan masanya!

Teringat Januari.. nenek Hasnah meninggal dunia. Teringat Januari tahun lalu.. nenek Fatimah meninggal dunia.

Mak terkesima. Liyana pun.

Memang Allah ambil balik nyawa bila2 sahaja.

3 more books to my personal collection

So yesterday I was at the Halal 2011 at Expo hall 5A, and I couldn't resist going to the sale next door, at hall 5B.. which is.. none other than The Popular Book Saleee..!

It was obviously of a smaller scale than the one back in December at Suntec City, but it was fine with me. Here, books were on sale for $10, $15 or 30% off. Most were old titles and non-fiction books. (Oh, there was a section called '10 books for $10', which made me go CraZyy, but only briefly, coz I immediately found out the range of books was not my taste. heh.)

I scoured the tables at the non-fiction books area, hoping to see Greg Mortenson's books or Atlas of the World (like the one offered by The Folio Society, in March's NG mag, which I decided not to buy coz I don't think I will be buying the extra 4 books). But then again, I was not looking for anything specific, really. In the end, I bought 3 books. I must say, I immediately grabbed each one of 'em upon laying my eyes on the title.





2 reference books and 1 is a fiction by Ken Follett. I first heard his name on the Oprah show, when she was recommending The Pillars of The Earth. So at that moment I thought, "wow.. this book must be something." And thus, the author's works must be something too. So I am glad I got my hands on the sequel, despite not having read Pillars. If the story is reeeeaally good, I will let y'all know =)

The other books are about the history of mountaineering and women in history. I have never heard of The Alpine Club before, so I am looking forward to know how it was conceived, who are the people in it, plus the milestones in the field of mountaineering. General knowledge laahh..

The synopsis on the book jacket says that The Alpine Club was the world's first mountaineering club, and is Britain's only national club for Alpinists. Its history is the history of British mountaineering, and its story is the story of those with a passion for adventure who accomplished extraordinary feats againts the odds. Since the Alpine Club was founded in 1857 its members have been at the leading edge of worldwide mountaineering development and exploration.

Historica's Women, I just flipped thru.. I noticed that the 1000 years of history revolved mostly around European/American women. I can understand why this is so - I suppose their records were well-documented, as compared to their Asian counterparts in the same time or era.





Thick, aren't they? I think I will still not finish 'em next March (except for World Without End. hee)

Twister in a bottle

Was looking absently at the PBS with 0.05% Tween being mixed, when I realised that the magnetic stirrer was spinning faster than usual. And, oh! the stirring liquid looks like a twister. But contained in a bottle. *imagine if a real twister hits Singapore! shiverss*


I guess I miss writing in here. I used to write about what I did, what I saw and read, whom I was with, what piques my interest, didn't I? When I was younger.

Now, I don't write. I don't talk. Sometimes, I think I've reduced myself to a silent person. Only sometimes. Coz most of the time, I still enjoy talking with others. Yet most of the time, I prefer to listen.

Days.. months.. have whizzed past me. And I recorded little. 2010 has very few records, but there were quite a few memories. I am sad, because I may lose these memories. I don't know why, but for quite a while now, I feel I should be saving as many memories as I could, as though something would happen to me and I would forget. Or maybe it's because, it has dawned to me that as I age, I will forget certain events that happened in the past - big and small episodes that meant a lot to me once. Or maybe, it's because I don't want my heart to feel empty when I reach 40, 50, 60..

I do not want to forget.

I miss sharing stories and opinions with someone. But I have none. Nothing worthy.

I guess this is what happens when you spend too much time with yourself.
I need to surround myself with soleh people. In soleh environment.

Ugly

I closed my eyes and muttered, "astaghfirullah.."

Immediately I heard a senior say, "Liyana ngantuk, eh." (or somewhere along that line)

I opened my eyes and smiled.

The truth is, I was not sleepy. Or maybe I was, a bit, but I did not close my eyes because they were tired and sleepy.










I was trying to block something from my mind.












An image. A horrible one, in my opinion.

One of many, that have been appearing so suddenly in my head. On and off. Sometimes, I may be thinking about something, or subconsciously thinking about a particular thing, or my thoughts drift from its original point, and then, a nasty image, or an inappropriate thought would surface.

It would catch me off-guard. And I would close my eyes and whisper istighfar to myself. Or, shout at myself (no, Liyana!!), or moan (noo... please stop..). Feeling guilty that these bad things are in my head. Feeling shameful of myself because I did not try hard enough to block them off or because sometimes, I actually enjoyed that thought or image for two seconds or three. Feeling frustrated because it keeps popping up.

I would feel helpless when this happens.

Of course, this morning I had no time to feel helpless because I was busy listening to the programme flow (which I thought, "whyyy do they take soO long on one item?". Hmm.. I have forgotten what it is like to organise something, scrutinize every little detail, and be in a indecisive, round-a-bout state), fishing for ideas for tadzkirah (which I ended up not doing because I could not bring myself to say things I do not mean), and worrying for the logs team (well, it was more like I was floating between worried and not worried).

These images have taken a particular theme, for the past few months. And I am beginning to feel very disturbed at how frequent they appear. They make me feel dirty on the inside.

Nobody can help me in this. Only I can. Certain things just cannot be fixed, assured, relieved by others. Certain things are just my own battle. Mine only. I am feeling lonely. I am feeling sad, I am scared to my wits, because I am alone to fight this.

I have to accept that certain things, are just between me and Allah. I seek His help, to cure me inside. I must never ever stop seeking His help. Because if I do, I will destroy myself.






Remember this, Liyana, ok? Remember what you have just written.

An awesommmmee surprise in the mail

I just. have. to blog about this!

So, 20 minutes ago, I went downstairs to check the mailbox. Fuhh.. It was full. Among the mails was a package. Addressed to me. The first thing I thought was, "eh? I didnt buy anything from China. Could it be wrong addressee..??" (at the same time, I thought, "takkan orang yang buat online purchase boleh terkasi salah info ?)

Maybe, my brother or mum bought something. Maybe kak Maya did?



After comtemplating for a few minutes (including knocking on Bro's bedroom door to ask if he bought anything online), I decided to open the package. While tearing open the white plastic, mum was saying, "maybe it is from someone. a gift", to which I replied, "nah.. couldn't be. if it is a gift, there should be a note or something." (and, who on earth would send me something from CHINA...??)

OK, pause a bit. I kept saying China because the mail stamp has chinese characters on it. Oh, and the green label says "Jacket".

So, the jacket is black. I fingered it carefully, coz suspicious of the material. I looked at the tag at the neck line. "100% polyester". *HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF* Then, I held it up.

OH. MY. GOD.

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD..!!!!!! (yes, I actually jumped in joy. in front of mum and dad)

It's National Geographic...!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....!! I can't believe it!



It immediately struck me that I got this gift because I signed up for the magazine's monthly subscription. Heee.. that was in December last year, on the last day of Popular Book Sale.

Oh my.. I am feeling elatedddd.. though calmer now. haha.. it was like hitting a million dollars or something! (but if that happens, I would've continued jumping and not blog til waaayyyy later. heh.)

Alhamdulillaaaaaahh.. ^______________^ *BIG SMILE to myself*

Article - Past Medical Testing on Humans Revealed

I just hafta archive this article. And share it with y'all. It is from Yahoo! News, dated 28 Feb 2011.
---------------------------

AP IMPACT: Past medical testing on humans revealed
By MIKE STOBBE, AP Medical Writer Mike Stobbe, Ap Medical Writer – Sun Feb 27, 6:46 pm ET


ATLANTA – Shocking as it may seem, U.S. government doctors once thought it was fine to experiment on disabled people and prison inmates. Such experiments included giving hepatitis to mental patients in Connecticut, squirting a pandemic flu virus up the noses of prisoners in Maryland, and injecting cancer cells into chronically ill people at a New York hospital.

Much of this horrific history is 40 to 80 years old, but it is the backdrop for a meeting in Washington this week by a presidential bioethics commission. The meeting was triggered by the government's apology last fall for federal doctors infecting prisoners and mental patients in Guatemala with syphilis 65 years ago.

U.S. officials also acknowledged there had been dozens of similar experiments in the United States — studies that often involved making healthy people sick.

An exhaustive review by The Associated Press of medical journal reports and decades-old press clippings found more than 40 such studies. At best, these were a search for lifesaving treatments; at worst, some amounted to curiosity-satisfying experiments that hurt people but provided no useful results.

Inevitably, they will be compared to the well-known Tuskegee syphilis study. In that episode, U.S. health officials tracked 600 black men in Alabama who already had syphilis but didn't give them adequate treatment even after penicillin became available.

These studies were worse in at least one respect — they violated the concept of "first do no harm," a fundamental medical principle that stretches back centuries.

"When you give somebody a disease — even by the standards of their time — you really cross the key ethical norm of the profession," said Arthur Caplan, director of the University of Pennsylvania's Center for Bioethics.

Some of these studies, mostly from the 1940s to the '60s, apparently were never covered by news media. Others were reported at the time, but the focus was on the promise of enduring new cures, while glossing over how test subjects were treated.

Attitudes about medical research were different then. Infectious diseases killed many more people years ago, and doctors worked urgently to invent and test cures. Many prominent researchers felt it was legitimate to experiment on people who did not have full rights in society — people like prisoners, mental patients, poor blacks. It was an attitude in some ways similar to that of Nazi doctors experimenting on Jews.

"There was definitely a sense — that we don't have today — that sacrifice for the nation was important," said Laura Stark, a Wesleyan University assistant professor of science in society, who is writing a book about past federal medical experiments.

The AP review of past research found:

_A federally funded study begun in 1942 injected experimental flu vaccine in male patients at a state insane asylum in Ypsilanti, Mich., then exposed them to flu several months later. It was co-authored by Dr. Jonas Salk, who a decade later would become famous as inventor of the polio vaccine.

Some of the men weren't able to describe their symptoms, raising serious questions about how well they understood what was being done to them. One newspaper account mentioned the test subjects were "senile and debilitated." Then it quickly moved on to the promising results.

_In federally funded studies in the 1940s, noted researcher Dr. W. Paul Havens Jr. exposed men to hepatitis in a series of experiments, including one using patients from mental institutions in Middletown and Norwich, Conn. Havens, a World Health Organization expert on viral diseases, was one of the first scientists to differentiate types of hepatitis and their causes.

A search of various news archives found no mention of the mental patients study, which made eight healthy men ill but broke no new ground in understanding the disease.

_Researchers in the mid-1940s studied the transmission of a deadly stomach bug by having young men swallow unfiltered stool suspension. The study was conducted at the New York State Vocational Institution, a reformatory prison in West Coxsackie. The point was to see how well the disease spread that way as compared to spraying the germs and having test subjects breathe it. Swallowing it was a more effective way to spread the disease, the researchers concluded. The study doesn't explain if the men were rewarded for this awful task.

_A University of Minnesota study in the late 1940s injected 11 public service employee volunteers with malaria, then starved them for five days. Some were also subjected to hard labor, and those men lost an average of 14 pounds. They were treated for malarial fevers with quinine sulfate. One of the authors was Ancel Keys, a noted dietary scientist who developed K-rations for the military and the Mediterranean diet for the public. But a search of various news archives found no mention of the study.

_For a study in 1957, when the Asian flu pandemic was spreading, federal researchers sprayed the virus in the noses of 23 inmates at Patuxent prison in Jessup, Md., to compare their reactions to those of 32 virus-exposed inmates who had been given a new vaccine.

_Government researchers in the 1950s tried to infect about two dozen volunteering prison inmates with gonorrhea using two different methods in an experiment at a federal penitentiary in Atlanta. The bacteria was pumped directly into the urinary tract through the penis, according to their paper.

The men quickly developed the disease, but the researchers noted this method wasn't comparable to how men normally got infected — by having sex with an infected partner. The men were later treated with antibiotics. The study was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, but there was no mention of it in various news archives.

Though people in the studies were usually described as volunteers, historians and ethicists have questioned how well these people understood what was to be done to them and why, or whether they were coerced.

Prisoners have long been victimized for the sake of science. In 1915, the U.S. government's Dr. Joseph Goldberger — today remembered as a public health hero — recruited Mississippi inmates to go on special rations to prove his theory that the painful illness pellagra was caused by a dietary deficiency. (The men were offered pardons for their participation.)

But studies using prisoners were uncommon in the first few decades of the 20th century, and usually performed by researchers considered eccentric even by the standards of the day. One was Dr. L.L. Stanley, resident physician at San Quentin prison in California, who around 1920 attempted to treat older, "devitalized men" by implanting in them testicles from livestock and from recently executed convicts.

Newspapers wrote about Stanley's experiments, but the lack of outrage is striking.

"Enter San Quentin penitentiary in the role of the Fountain of Youth — an institution where the years are made to roll back for men of failing mentality and vitality and where the spring is restored to the step, wit to the brain, vigor to the muscles and ambition to the spirit. All this has been done, is being done ... by a surgeon with a scalpel," began one rosy report published in November 1919 in The Washington Post.

Around the time of World War II, prisoners were enlisted to help the war effort by taking part in studies that could help the troops. For example, a series of malaria studies at Stateville Penitentiary in Illinois and two other prisons was designed to test antimalarial drugs that could help soldiers fighting in the Pacific.

It was at about this time that prosecution of Nazi doctors in 1947 led to the "Nuremberg Code," a set of international rules to protect human test subjects. Many U.S. doctors essentially ignored them, arguing that they applied to Nazi atrocities — not to American medicine.

The late 1940s and 1950s saw huge growth in the U.S. pharmaceutical and health care industries, accompanied by a boom in prisoner experiments funded by both the government and corporations. By the 1960s, at least half the states allowed prisoners to be used as medical guinea pigs.

But two studies in the 1960s proved to be turning points in the public's attitude toward the way test subjects were treated.

The first came to light in 1963. Researchers injected cancer cells into 19 old and debilitated patients at a Jewish Chronic Disease Hospital in the New York borough of Brooklyn to see if their bodies would reject them.

The hospital director said the patients were not told they were being injected with cancer cells because there was no need — the cells were deemed harmless. But the experiment upset a lawyer named William Hyman who sat on the hospital's board of directors. The state investigated, and the hospital ultimately said any such experiments would require the patient's written consent.

At nearby Staten Island, from 1963 to 1966, a controversial medical study was conducted at the Willowbrook State School for children with mental retardation. The children were intentionally given hepatitis orally and by injection to see if they could then be cured with gamma globulin.

Those two studies — along with the Tuskegee experiment revealed in 1972 — proved to be a "holy trinity" that sparked extensive and critical media coverage and public disgust, said Susan Reverby, the Wellesley College historian who first discovered records of the syphilis study in Guatemala.

By the early 1970s, even experiments involving prisoners were considered scandalous. In widely covered congressional hearings in 1973, pharmaceutical industry officials acknowledged they were using prisoners for testing because they were cheaper than chimpanzees.

Holmesburg Prison in Philadelphia made extensive use of inmates for medical experiments. Some of the victims are still around to talk about it. Edward "Yusef" Anthony, featured in a book about the studies, says he agreed to have a layer of skin peeled off his back, which was coated with searing chemicals to test a drug. He did that for money to buy cigarettes in prison.

"I said 'Oh my God, my back is on fire! Take this ... off me!'" Anthony said in an interview with The Associated Press, as he recalled the beginning of weeks of intense itching and agonizing pain.

The government responded with reforms. Among them: The U.S. Bureau of Prisons in the mid-1970s effectively excluded all research by drug companies and other outside agencies within federal prisons.

As the supply of prisoners and mental patients dried up, researchers looked to other countries.

It made sense. Clinical trials could be done more cheaply and with fewer rules. And it was easy to find patients who were taking no medication, a factor that can complicate tests of other drugs.

Additional sets of ethical guidelines have been enacted, and few believe that another Guatemala study could happen today. "It's not that we're out infecting anybody with things," Caplan said.

Still, in the last 15 years, two international studies sparked outrage.

One was likened to Tuskegee. U.S.-funded doctors failed to give the AIDS drug AZT to all the HIV-infected pregnant women in a study in Uganda even though it would have protected their newborns. U.S. health officials argued the study would answer questions about AZT's use in the developing world.

The other study, by Pfizer Inc., gave an antibiotic named Trovan to children with meningitis in Nigeria, although there were doubts about its effectiveness for that disease. Critics blamed the experiment for the deaths of 11 children and the disabling of scores of others. Pfizer settled a lawsuit with Nigerian officials for $75 million but admitted no wrongdoing.

Last year, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' inspector general reported that between 40 and 65 percent of clinical studies of federally regulated medical products were done in other countries in 2008, and that proportion probably has grown. The report also noted that U.S. regulators inspected fewer than 1 percent of foreign clinical trial sites.

Monitoring research is complicated, and rules that are too rigid could slow new drug development. But it's often hard to get information on international trials, sometimes because of missing records and a paucity of audits, said Dr. Kevin Schulman, a Duke University professor of medicine who has written on the ethics of international studies.

These issues were still being debated when, last October, the Guatemala study came to light.

In the 1946-48 study, American scientists infected prisoners and patients in a mental hospital in Guatemala with syphilis, apparently to test whether penicillin could prevent some sexually transmitted disease. The study came up with no useful information and was hidden for decades.

The Guatemala study nauseated ethicists on multiple levels. Beyond infecting patients with a terrible illness, it was clear that people in the study did not understand what was being done to them or were not able to give their consent. Indeed, though it happened at a time when scientists were quick to publish research that showed frank disinterest in the rights of study participants, this study was buried in file drawers.

"It was unusually unethical, even at the time," said Stark, the Wesleyan researcher.

"When the president was briefed on the details of the Guatemalan episode, one of his first questions was whether this sort of thing could still happen today," said Rick Weiss, a spokesman for the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy.

That it occurred overseas was an opening for the Obama administration to have the bioethics panel seek a new evaluation of international medical studies. The president also asked the Institute of Medicine to further probe the Guatemala study, but the IOM relinquished the assignment in November, after reporting its own conflict of interest: In the 1940s, five members of one of the IOM's sister organizations played prominent roles in federal syphilis research and had links to the Guatemala study.

So the bioethics commission gets both tasks. To focus on federally funded international studies, the commission has formed an international panel of about a dozen experts in ethics, science and clinical research. Regarding the look at the Guatemala study, the commission has hired 15 staff investigators and is working with additional historians and other consulting experts.

The panel is to send a report to Obama by September. Any further steps would be up to the administration.

Some experts say that given such a tight deadline, it would be a surprise if the commission produced substantive new information about past studies. "They face a really tough challenge," Caplan said.

___

AP news researchers Susan James and Julie Reed Bell contributed to this report.

Annoucement about my Chatbox

Dear visitors,

Since irrelevant, spam comments are starting to appear in my chatbox, I am going to remove it from the side panel. Any comments, remarks and feedback, kindly use the 'Comments' section found in each post.

Thank you.



Liyana
13 Feb 2011
rasa macam ada yang tak kena je.. kenapa eh?
harap2 tak timbul ape2 salah faham. sebab kite takde niat serong. mengada-ngada? oh, tidak tidak!
tapi.. kite rasa tak sedap.. takut2 the other party fikir lain pulak. takut2 kite memang ada buat salah.

Allah..!

ithmid (and white musk)





Terima kasih, kak Mardhiyah~~



حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ يُونُسَ حَدَّثَنَا زُهَيْرٌ حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ عُثْمَانَ بْنِ خُثَيْمٍ عَنْ سَعِيدِ بْنِ جُبَيْرٍ عَنْ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ الْبَسُوا مِنْ ثِيَابِكُمْ الْبَيَاضَ فَإِنَّهَا مِنْ خَيْرِ ثِيَابِكُمْ وَكَفِّنُوا فِيهَا مَوْتَاكُمْ وَإِنَّ خَيْرَ أَكْحَالِكُمُ الْإِثْمِدُ يَجْلُو الْبَصَرَ وَيُنْبِتُ الشَّعْرَ

سنن أبي داود » كتاب الطب » باب في الأمر بالكحل

Narrated by Ibn Abbas (radhiallahu anhu) -
The Prophet (sollallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said: Wear your white garments, for they are among your best garments, and shroud your dead in them. Among the best types of collyrium you use is antimony (ithmid): it clears the vision and makes the hair sprout.

Sunan Abu Daud >> Kitab at-Tibb >> Bab fil amri bil kuhl







The arabic matan is from here.
The english translation is from
here.
sedih sangat-sangat nak lepaskan hotmail. ='(

tapi dah berbulan-bulan tak dapat masuk. sebab password kena reject.

dah lama jugak fikirkan samada nak announce kat kawan-kawan ataupun tidak. it's not so much about what is in my inbox, sebab rase2nya forwarded emails lah yang banyak. klw one-to-one email, rasenya tak ada kot. (maklumlah.. sekarang kan, semua orang gunakan facebook) but it's more about my contacts on MSN.. i don't remember their email addresses.. *looonngg sigh* lebih2 lagi, kawan non-muslims. lepas ni, camne nak reach mereka? (okay, tak usah cakap facebook. -__-" i know)

akhirnya, malam ni, kite ambil keputusan untuk beritahu kawan-kawan..

*tersenyum sendiri* teringat masa kecil-kecil dulu, abang buatkan my first hotmail account. impurities_12. hahahaha..! masa tu, tak tahu apa maknanya. abang yang letak. tapi abang sendiri ada cakap maknanya tak best. account tu tak lama.. then, around primary 6 gitu, kite bukak cahaya_k.

sekarang, dah tinggal satu email account, rase vulnerable pulak! should i open a gmail account? as a back-up. *hmmmmm..* sebenarnya, ada jugak fikir-fikir nama yang sesuai.. but so far, nama yang kite nak dah diambil. hmmm... tengoklah camne.