stressed?

im taking this opportunity to answer a question posted on my tagboard *since i cant tag...some 'cookie' problem or something*

honestly, im not sure if im stressed...because of poly life - school work, cca, or external activities that im involved in.

or maybe im denying the fact that im getting stresser day after day.

but i dont think that has happened, yet.

though i can feel some sort of panic seeping in... worry, yes. and maybe something else. afraid of failure??

nowadays, since i-dont-know-when, i sometimes imagine myelf - or hope to myself - that i dont have cca, or tutoring, or whatever else that is distrupting peaceful life. so i'll have more time to do my school work that is MOOOOOOOOOORRREEE important, and that i wont be RUSHING HERE AND THERE, WORRYING THAT I HAVENT DONE MY TUTORIAL, OR REVISED MY LECTURE NOTES, OR PANIC BECAUSE THERE'S A QUIZ COMING UP. sometimes i feel tired.

where's my focus gone to?

but then again, BAD HABITS DONT DIE OFF EASILY. a bad habit of mine is that i procrastinate. i rather do stuff other than studying. other people have their own 'comfortable' time to study, right? but, me? i simply dont know when the mood to study will come. it seems that 24/7 i have something else to do, and so, i postpone my assignments, tutorials, revision.

a PROMINENT bad habit: sleep sleep sleep. i feel sleepy during lectures, and sometimes i do doze off. i wake up late usually....so i'll be late for school. i sleep late, even though my eyes are demanding sleep *like now* what the heck are you doing late at night????????????? n when it's time to open my lecture notes, or at least read the instruction in the tutorial, i'll start to yawn...then decide that "oh! i want to sleep. tomorrow i'll do".... what da..?!!

im supposed to finish my lab report now. but suddenly, i dont feel like it. im gonna sleep right after this post. oh! i turned on the computer coz i had to check my email..... results,methods,diagram from my lab report teammates, ELF ALP program sheet for TP RAWKS from ELF yahoogroup...

oh! n disc report isnt graded...but i surely missed the chance to get to know myself better.

tkd? well......... WHY ARENT YOU GETTING YOUR KICKS RIGHT????????? THEY'RE ONLY BASIC KICKS!!! BY NOW, YOU SHOULD'VE AT LEAST BE GOOD AT THEM..... klw org yang tak tahu main bola namenye kaki bangku, klw org yang tk tahu nak tendang betul2, namenye ape???????????????????

urgh! the kicking part does get on my nerves sometimes!

hmmmm.... let me see.

life in poly is great, good, fun... it is. enjoyable.

i hope you wont judge poly life by JUST knowing how i am doing....

coz the problem here is ME, ME, ME.




thanks for raising that question =)

what's WRONG with me.........????????????

mMmMmMmMmmmmmmmmmmmm



MmMmMmMmMmMmmMmmmMMMM...................




ya Allah~ ape nak jadi dgn aku ni...


sigh~


i just remembered just now....... that i forgot to do the DISC profile report!! betape paniknye aku! astaghfirullah~~ me betul2 tak ingat.... dari hari rabu yang lepas nie....sampailah hari nie!

padahal i've checked my TP email last week...ade email pasal bende ni, n my tutor pon dah beritahu... due date nye was friday yang baru lepas nih..... dah tak boleh nak access to the system..............

ya Allah~~ ape yg harus aku lakukan??


hmmm~ nampak sgt tk boleh nak negotiate dgn guru.... yelah, sbb reason tk valid.

ape aku nak jawab nanti mase tutorial this week.............?

n i bet the DISC report worths quite a lot!!!!!!!!!!!

n forgetful liyana has just blown up her chances of getting a distinction!

*maybe*

------------------------------------------------



you know, im getting *whatstheword??* as the days go by.....

i really want to do well this semester. n yet, im lagging behind...since the start of the semester.... maths dah masuk topic 3...... ape2 je yg me ingat...ntah! HPI.....pasal complement system.... cardiac cycle..... serological tests...... even cell bio pon me tk bace sgt notes nye.

and for leadership n character...........minggu lepas baru the FIRST TIME i sat for the lecture from first to end............selame 4or5 minggu me asyik lewat... sbb gi solat asar *heh...solat asar pon rilek2..padahal ade lecture!* ade satu kali tu, me baru je duduk, 3or4 minutes later, lecture dah habis...makneNYE.......i missed one whole lecture!

oh! n missing lectures is something that is 'normal' to me now. heh. especially last 2 weeks ago.. on a friday...sbb nak habiskan lab report, i skipped math lecture (2 hours), n cell bio lecture (1 hour).......... such a good attitude liyana! ni lah akibatnye kalau buat lab report last minute! end up, me hantar lab report tu 30 minutes later than the dateline (5pm)...


hmmmmmmmmmm~~




n yesterday, i think, i came across the article, mengenai top psle malay student tu.......... subhanallah~ dia seorang hafiz rupenye..... sedangkan aku ni..............



*feels like slapping her own face*



n this semester....fuh! tk boleh main2 ah~~ lebih2 lagi for leadership n arts nye subjects tu..... ade individual assignment, group project....dah tu semua adelah CORE things yg di ASSESSED.... so, percentage nye byk! tk boleh main2! kena berikan yg terbaik!

leadership tu plak..........byk nah concept nak kena ingat!

hmmmmmmmmmmmm......

math~

math~

math~

ntah lah eh............

ni lah akibatnye....sbb me tk *fillintheblank*

astaghfirullah~~~











i guess i've sidetracked a bit too far....i must come back.... back to my roots...

back to fitrah...


aaah~ yes. fitrah.


but, what is fitrah?

short update

1. i got ARTS APPRECIATION n LEADERSHIP & CHARACTER for my cross-disciplinary subjects. the former was my 3rd/4th choice...n the latter, i didnt even apply for it! tapi me reda je... pasti ade hikmah di sebalik tu... n im LOVIN' the tutorials!! *note: bukan lecture tau...tapi tutorial..heh!*

2. subjects for this semester:
- basic microbiology
- cell biology
- human physiology and immunology
- mathematics and statistics 2
- communication skills for applied science 2
- arts appreciation
- leadership and character

3. my basic micrology lecturer is cute! a bit lame also.... but never mind! haha~~ excuse me eh, cute here is not cute face, superficial... it's more to his antics.... ketawanye pon kelakar... *smiling to myself* n my class got him for our tutor!!! yeah~~~!

4. intervarsity and polytechnic (IVP) competitions are coming....next year.. so tkd training will most probably be doubled, to 4 times a week. im still not sure if i can commit or not...though i want to...

5. ade jalan raye dgn members Nur Ikhwan n Nanyang Polytechnic Muslim Society... but im not going. memang tk nak pon!

6. firah got first in her class. mabruuuuuk!

7. i was shocked i when i saw the blog of a friend of mine. she withdrew from alsagoff years ago. n let me say this: im disappointed with her (or is it 'in her'?) i simply am. much more than im disappointed with Abidah. but both of you are still my friends. n i respect your decisions of what you want to become.



i think that's all for now.