same old story

it's been two weeks since school reopened, and now im halfway thru my poly studies.

and that 1 1/2 years have seen a lot of changes in me; or rather, traits, good and bad, that had been hiding under my skin before i enter this self-discovering, self-destructing tertiary life.

and it is at this point i realise that my chances for getting into a decent university, let alone a well-established one, lie in my own bare hands. and the bottle is half-empty now, due to my own wrong doing. but, looking on a brighter side, i still have space to fill.. as much as i can muster.

and looking as it is now, while squinting to predict a slice of what might become in that far horizon...

God,
i've wasted a lot
and therefore,
i've double the burden,
double the responsibility..
i've to make up for all the loss..

i am halfway til the end
what do i want my end to be like?

God,
i can taste that bitter future
if only i can reassure myself
that i can change what is not yet done
i can, i can, i can!

i am so afraid
that i might fail.

God,
please..
lend me double the strength,
double the will,
chain my desires!
lock up the devil in me!
for i only wish to strive
for that sweet victory in the end.

she says:
u wanna knw wat motivate

analiy says:
sure

she says:
whn i'm so tired of struggling

she says:
well ALLAH's love i used 2 aim for my dreams for my parent but sohow tt just not enough. n i do not feel tHey appreciate it

she says:
but whn i fight for HIM i knw indirectly n sohow i feel HIS present n motivation tt how or not i'll drop all n not fight anymore cz it's v tiring on my part

analiy says:
i dont understand your last sentence

she says:
well if i fight 4 anyone else beside HIM i'll give up. cz i'm v tired

she says:
i an emotionally n physically

analiy says:
wow....

analiy says:
hmmm....

analiy says:
thanks for sharing

analiy says:
what you shared kind of enlightened me...

analiy says:
=)

she says:
n insY it help u through

analiy says:
thanks

she says:
cz i start getting fed up of skol until well i rember tt hope it help u cz i knw at the finisng line HE's waiting

analiy says:
oooo

analiy says:
yes, He's waiting

analiy says:
='(

she says:
n of cz no suffering goes with HIM noticing

she says:
cz it show HE love us n pls remind tis whn i forget cz i do forget it

analiy says:
ok

analiy says:
=)

thank you, O Allah, for this subtle reminder thru the lips and hands of this friend of mine.

Guide us thru and thru, Ya Rabb~