Just watched Rise of The Guardians movie yesterday.

It's the second movie I have come across in which Overcoming Fear is the main subject. The first was Green Lantern. I don't think I told you before.. Even before Green Lantern came out, I had this nagging feeling that I want to watch it. Really really want to watch it. I saw the trailer, it piqued my interest. So, I figured I would just wait for the online version to come out. I didn't know what to expect.

I remember.. that particular day, I was on medical leave, coz my left big toe and its surrounding area were inflamed. I had trouble walking. And, I suspected that I was allergic to one of the medications.. So earlier on that day, I took it again to confirm. I switched on the PC, went to the usual online movie website, chose one of the many links for Green Lantern and waited for it to load. A few minutes into the intro, and it was decided: Online is not good enough. Not with the current mediocre version (coz that time the movie was still fresh in theatres). This time, I am going to get myself some good quality film.

So, yeah, limping and with eyes starting to swell coz of allergy, I made my way to GV Yishun. That was around afternoon. Throughout the movie I was sometimes distracted coz I started to feel a bit breathless and my heart beating kinda quickly. Again, it was the allergic symptoms. I ignored them though.

Was it worth it?

Yes. yes. yes. I didn't understand the subconscious pull. You'd say it was nafsu, right? I'd say, too. But I dunno.. there was something else. And the message that I got at the end of the movie was clear. Of overcoming fear. Of strong will. Gosh.. as I am typing this, I can feel the weight of it. I can't help but think that I was meant to watch it. To learn something from it. Ryan Reynolds (I think he's a good actor though.. especially in Buried) and cool powers aside, I can't help but think I was meant to watch it. To learn something from it. Like, someone is trying to show me that it is for me. Sort of a weird feeling. Somehow, it is not the same as wanting to watch Lord of The Rings or Harry Potter or The Hobbit..

The pivotal point in Green Lantern for me was, when Hal came face-to-face with the humongous black thing that was Parallax on the street, and Hal was trying to defend himself against the enemy, only his green 'shield' to protect him.. weakening yet desperately holding on. And then, he found strength. In brightest day, in blackest night, No evil shall escape my sight; Let those who worship evil's might; Beware my power, Green Lantern's light!

I know.. I know.. typical. But that particular moment was really something. It was symbolic. Just like the scene in Rise of The Guardians, when Jamie said to Pitch Black, "I believe in you. I'm just not afraid of you anymore." Then as the Black Sand touched him, it turned golden.

There was another scene, that re-surfaced an idea, a hope, a wish, for my future.. a wish which was formed after I met ammu Ahmad at al-Azhar mosque.. when Jack Frost was shown his last memory. What I got from it is a character who is caring, assuring and making his loved one smile, and self-sacrificing.

Okay. I am feeling a lump in my throat.

It's just hard.. to have strong will. to maintain that strong will. In matters that really matter! I have fallen on my knees many times. And, I have become aware of a dark side of me who likes falling down. That's one of the core things I ask from Allah: a strong will. I guess I haven't worked for it or wanted it bad enough. That's why I still feel weak.

Also, to help someone and be selfless? Ahh.. you know what's in my mind, what's brewing in my heart, ya Allah.. please guide me to make the right choice for my future. I am beginning to seek meanings, and am frustrated where I am. Hmmm... I know I have to overcome this uneasiness - fear? - of facing the unknown.



Chin up, Liyana. Let's do better in 2013!



On a side note, I didn't know before that there were such 'legendary' beings as Jack Frost and Sandman. Santa Claus, tooth fairy, Easter bunny.. them I know. Interesting lah, all these fairy tales!