TKD training on thursday, 21 dec 2006

i was kicked.

hit.

smacked.

whacked.

on the right side of my head.

hard.

yep, that's right. you saw those words. i was kicked on my head during sparring with a senior. it was only my second spar.

the feeling?

i just couldnt explain it in words. i just couldnt.

all i know is, i was kind of stunned maybe. my head was like....whoa~! really felt like "a blow on your head"..that kind of thing. you would've imagined that i fell on the floor and fainted. but i didnt.

concussion? i dont even know what it means... but maybe, just a teeny-weeny bit of concussion, dizziness.

the blow affected me emotionally, though. it didnt crack open my skull, but it sure crack whatever emotions that were inside me. like a nutcracker.

the second my head was hit, i felt my tears starting to appear. but i held them fast. acted like everything's ok. i kept my cool alright. i remembered saying something like, "whoa~~ what an experience!" and i started asking questions like, "oh! if we kick on the head, we get more points?" "kicking the head is a very good tactic?" "what must you do to protect your head?" etc etc etc...just to keep my emotions at bay.

n so, i couldnt continue sparring. oh well~

the blow also shut my mood. suddenly, i was speechless (yes! a good word!)... i just sat here, or there, just looking who-knows-where, trying to look as if i was thinking and at the same time, i was calm, as if unaffected.

but cry i did. in the girls' changing room. in one of the changing cubicles. i sat on the floor, with my bottle of cold water, n cried. hypoventilated. talked to myself.

i didnt know EXACTLY why i cried. i honestly didnt. it was as if i was crying over lots of things, or nothing at all. ouh! as im typing this, i feel some sort of a knot around my head - or shall i say, brain? kind of tight. ya Allah~ i hope there's nothing wrong with my head.

in the bus, i cried again. not loudly. the tears just flowed down my cheeks. of course, i covered my face. if not, my friends who sat beside me in the bus would've noticed!

why, why, why did i cry?????

maybe i was angry too. i dont know. i was simply blurred by my own emotions. i didnt even know what they are..

anyway, just cut the crap! i got few pictures from the training =)

enjoy!