just words... ;"<

i scribbled these words on my lecture pad in the mrt on my way back from school today. it isnt neat. it's all over the paper. i wont show it here though. the scanner's been a trouble these days. so, i'll start from the top.


akhirnya, mereka kecundang,
tersungkur.
im speechless.

they failed.
how is it like?
when you know you've come to an end.
it's no ordinary end.
it's a bad end.

how is it like?
when you're sure of something
something that saddens you very much
it will definitely happen
fixed.
yet, you are still hoping for a miracle
even a teeny weeny bit
that it'll turn out much better
but when you've come to that point
that something is really something
and it finally dawned to you
that you cannot change it
though you refuse to open your eyes
to accept it
but you must
and that sinking feeling is deepening
until you feel like giving everything up
agony and pain..acceptance..it's hard

fault.
should i feel sorry?
i want to feel sorry, but
the other part of me says no.
so i just stood there,
looking and feeling guilty
guilty that i never felt sympathy.

im sorry i've acted this way to all of you.
i guess my speech wasnt good
not effective enough.
i could've chosen the right words
so my intentions and message
were well delivered

it is this time
that i felt the love,
the kinship, the friendship
funny how it is borne
when things nearly come to an end.

funny how the affection develops
when we're going away

funny how the hugs are easily given
when we're parting away

funny how she becomes all gentle and soft
when it's nearly over.

i bade you farewell...goodbye

im leaving soon.

thank you, friends. thank you very much.



*i havent changed the words a bit. though i've got some new ideas n noticed some grammatical errors..*
*the colours indicate different..umm..poems?*
*guess who is 'she'?? =p*
*i guess these words are enough to describe my feelings today*