blimey!

When I woke up this morning, you know what's the first thing that came to my mind??

Bahas. Debate.

Ironic, isn't it? It's been months since those days, n now I wish I had one more chance to prove myself again. But then I thought, "yeah right! N you'll do the same blunder again, n embarrass not just yourself, but the school too!"

Im not shameful to say that sometimes I fantasize about the possible scenes - good, awesome ones - that could've happened or might happen, if given a chance..you know, like I was saying the right thing, shooting out the words with sarcasm, yet in style..with proper technique and all. I even imagine myself winning the hearts of the judges, thus winning the 'best speaker' title.

Call me 'exaggerating loser', 'sore loser', etc.. whatever you want. But im NOT a sore loser. Im just another ordinary kid who regrets what she did on-stage months ago. N im the kind of person who never easily forgets, accepts, ignores n erases embarrassing memories.

This year, I hope alsagoffians will do us proud =) or if not them, then I hope other madrasah students will.. hidup madrasah! Hidup madrasah!

Ok, remember that I said in the last part of the previous post that I was going to take a nap??? Well, guess what? That little bit of a nap turned out to be for 4 HOURS... some kind of a nap huh? Anyway, you know what happened next? My temperature went uphill! The weather was wet, rainy, cold, n as I sat on the floor, watching tv (around 4-6pm), I started to feel the cold creeping into my veins, n after that the headache arrived... it's not really what I call a ‘searing, tearing, excruciating’ headache, but it was painful, alright.. berdenyut-denyut betul! Good thing I have an untouched paracatemol tablets, which I had gotten when I received my medications for athma, so I ate 2 of them n felt better. Alhamdulillah..

What I hadn’t expected the next morning was...

I was half-asleep around 9-something am, n when I sub-consciously touched my chest, I felt a small swelling, then...oh! It was gone! N the spot where the swelling was was a little painful. I woke up with a jolt. Oh no! it cant be.. it cant be..

CHICKEN POX!

I went straight into the toilet, checked my body, felt around my back. There was one bubble on the front, another on the back, then another one just a little bit above my waist. *at the point of writing, I've forgotten if there are any other bubbles at that time*

I took a bath, determined to go to the polyclinic IMMEDIATELY n get the medicine. Luckily my mother was up right after I finished my bath, so I told her n she checked my back. Yeah, it could be chicken pox... wait, let me tell you WHAT was on my mind as I was taking my bath: how am I going to the school's prize-giving day-cum-sec4 graduation ceremony??????????? If im sick with chicken pox (I was already confident at that time), I can't go! N I want to go. badly!!! nooooo..this cant be happening!!

The female doctor said, after I showed her the bubbles (but only 2 of them), that it was too early to diagnose them as chicken pox, instead those bubbles could've been caused by the weather, allergy etc. but, if it's chicken pox, then now is the INFECTIOUS PERIOD. She said those words with such an emphasis, intensity, that I kept repeating them to my mum! "infectious period...infectious period..."

I was advised not to go out in a few days, to see my development.. I mean, the bubbles, if there'll be more of it as the days go by. But that day (Thursday), I had planned to go to mks, ada iftar jamaie. Hmmm... I went at last, my mother gave me the green light =)

Unfortunately, when I was at mks, I started to feel weak, n by 6-something pm, the fever was back. (in the morning, when I was in the toilet, as I was summing up all the possibilities of me getting chicken pox, I remembered the previous night's fever n thought, "it all fits! I AM having chicken pox!") n then, before I could break my fast, I found out that i couldn't fast anymore (you get what I mean?)...hehe.. I was relieved, a bit.. =P

I was careful not to 'share' my food n drink with anybody else, so I took my share n refused to let anyone give me a bit of her share nor her drink. The doctor had said 'your mouth n nose secretion has a LOT of virus in it...' that kind of thing, so I was worried if I spilled my saliva somewhere...haiz~ so the leceh! Then after some time, I remembered that kak juwita must have touched my plastic spoon as she disposed it away. Alamak! I hope she wont get infected!

I went home with kak juwita, took bus 196/197 (cant remember) to marine parade, then took 966 to woodlands. During that time, my headache was already back. Every time I said something, or walked a bit too quickly, or do anything a bit too fast, my head 'berdenyut-denyut'.. ='( n I shivered like hell (but not as in 'hot as hell', ya?) all the way to woodlands... during the journey home, i suddenly remembered about respiration n diffusion, liquid vapour and all...oh no!

Oh well~ n so begins my experience as an unfortunate teenager with chicken pox.

Today is the 8th day..n still counting. the bubbles are everywhere.n I mean, EVERYWHERE. I don't put the calamol lotion on my head, though..leceh ah nak cari bisul-bisul tu di sebalik rambut, cuma kadang-kadang gatal tu ada ah.. alhamdulillah, I've gotten more n more comfortable as the days pass. During the first few days, I was reluctant to sleep on my back or lean on the sofa, afraid that the growing bubbles might burst. N I had trouble sleeping. But that was days ago. Now im ok, the only problem is my mouth: dry lips, 2-3 small ulcers in my mouth, n a swollen anak tekak, I think. (but, as im writing this, my throat feels ok when I do the gulping thing..) so, I still have trouble enjoying the food I eat *sad..sad..* another thing is that the inevitable has happened: some of the bubbles have popped. It's ok, I guess I have to live with it.. plus the bubbles have changed in colour: it's yellowish in the middle (I assume the dead virus - pus - is inside, waiting to be engulfed by phagocytes, or burst out) n red around the bubbles.. hmm.. the itchiness would come anytime, here n there, n I have to softly rub the itchy spots! Urgh!

Im still sad at the fact that im not able to attend this Saturday's event... it's something I've been waiting, anticipating for 2 years...n it turns out that I cant go =( I feel like crying when thinking about this, but I believe, n try to assure myself, that Allah has something in store for me...I pray to Him to soften my heart, so I can accept this matter..it's just a small matter, I tell myself..it's ok, it's ok, it's ok..

However, imagining my friends taking happy photos of themselves, with the teachers, makes my heart ache more..Ya Allah, kuatkanlah hati hambaMu ini..

Hmmm..i wonder..if maybe, I can go??? But my face still look terrible, yellowish spots here n there...*sighs heavily* cant make up my mind..im hoping someone might come n say to my face, "hey, girl, you can go to the event. Your condition is quite ok now. It has passed the infectious period. Now, go! N have a good time!" hmmm..some dream huh?

Do you think I should or should not go?



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Home Treatment

Most home treatment is aimed at relieving the annoying itch of chickenpox and the accompanying fever and discomfort. However, NEVER use aspirin to reduce pain or fever in children with chickenpox or certain other viral illnesses. Using aspirin in such cases has been associated with a serious disease, called Reye syndrome, which can lead to liver failure and even death.

Some measures you can take to help your child get through this itchy, uncomfortable time:

• Use wet compresses or give baths in cool or lukewarm water every 3 to 4 hours for the first few days. Oatmeal baths, available at the supermarket or pharmacy, can help to relieve itching. (Baths do not spread chickenpox.)
• Pat (don't rub) the body dry.
• Put calamine lotion on itchy areas (but don't use it on the face, especially near the eyes).
• Give your child foods that are cold, soft, and bland because chickenpox in the mouth may make drinking or eating difficult. Try to avoid feeding your child anything that's highly acidic or especially salty, like orange juice or pretzels.
• Ask your child's doctor or pharmacist about pain-relieving creams you can apply to sores in the genital area.
• Give your child acetaminophen (such as Tylenol) regularly to help relieve pain from mouth blisters.

And although it's tempting, children should be discouraged from scratching. Tell your child to come to you for help when faced with the urge to scratch. In addition, trim your child's fingernails and keep them clean to help lessen the effects of scratching, including broken blisters and infection.


--i use the calamol lotion on my face, but when i read the above, i stop..what am i supposed do with my face then?? what cream should i use??
--good thing i dont have chicken pox in my mouth, i really hope not! funny though, i found an ulcer-like shape in my eyes, but not on the conjunctiva..it's on the red part..you know what i mean?? it's not painful though, dont worry =)

ok, enough about my chicken pox story. i've written nearly 3 pages (in Microsoft Word) !!