Masih dalam Istikharah.. part deux

Okay, i know only 3 NI member/alumni who read my blog.. i dunno who else, baik direct members or know someone from NI, visits this blog.

and im going to talk about NI. and me. so, i hope you will keep this to yourself. thank you =)

this is going to be a very long post. and a few of you, after reading the conversation below, will know whom i was talking to.
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senior says: Salam liyana!
she says: ws
senior says: haaa.. just so that u know, i wasnt the one who suggested that u vice chair NI tau!
senior says: hehe..
senior says: they came up with it on their own. and they told the alumni abt their plan of the comm.
she says: 'they' tu sape?
senior says: so we shared our views on it lorz.
senior says: the current comm.
she says: ohh
senior says: yupz yupz.
senior says: i only batu api kan lah kan.
senior says: bende yg baik tu kene rai kan =D
senior says: but of course, i was looking at the whole upcoming comm structure as a whole.
she says: hmmm... okay
i was starting to feel sad.. and was reminded that i still have 'something' on my shoulders.. i was sighing at that time. didn't know what to reply. didnt want to sound annoyed or falsely excited, or sad. so i just said "hmmm... okay"
senior says: Allah dah bagi tanda tanda ?
fuh~ direct sey tanya! macam teragak2 jugak nak jawab.
she says: klw tanda2 tu.... belom kot. tapi cakap hati... dah kot. tapi faktor luaran penting jugak to be considered.
senior says: sgt tepat!
senior says: tapi. tanda Allah tu mcm mcm tau.
she says: pokonyer, masih belum boleh kasi kata putus ah..
senior says: factor luaran tu pon boleh jadi tanda tanda.
she says: *pokoknyer
hmm.. klw tanda-tanda external, mcm mimpi ke (teringat satu bro pernah kata, "jgn tunggu mimpi!"hehe), or maybe terselak2 majalah nampak terjumpa sesuatu yang relate to NI ke, etc ah, tu memang takde kot.. atau diri sendiri sengaja tak nak akui. tapi klw tanda internal.. ade jugak.. more like an urge. bila fikir2, timbang2.. yes, that urge is there. tapi selalu dihalang oleh FAKTOR LUARAN.. nombor 1: my parents. betul lah.. i just cant imagine telling them about this request pon. sedangkan usrah dgn NI-ans pon i am always reluctant to ask for permission. *masalah besar uh*
senior says: tapi mcm kesian pulak eh. 1st da kene fikirkan ramadhan rocks.
she says: hmmm... tgh pikir jugak, if i dont take the position, sape2 lagi yang layak diketengahkan
senior says: pastu ingat dah lepas, skali ni dtg.
senior says: hehe
she says: yes!
she says: betOl sgt
memang tepat apa yang dikatakan.. bila shikin beritahu that me, her and marl are nominated for vice chair.. Ya Allah... susah hati ni. and i thought one is done and over with. coz RR, me dah tolak. cukuplah. tiba2, datang yang ini pula.. i really didnt know what to comment. diam je.. dalam kepala, dah pusing2: nak, tak nak, why this, why now, boleh ke, ayah, mak, SIP, amanah, masa, tenaga..
senior says: hahaha.
senior says: tu pon boleh jadi tanda tau.
senior says: =D
she says: yelah tu~
macam kelakar eh? padahal tak.
senior says: eh betol! i am not here 2 convince u to take up any position.
senior says: but have'nt u realised it yet?
oohh.. when i saw this sentence, felt like typing there and then, yes! i do realise it! tapi tak ah.. diam je dulu.. biar kasi senior cakap.
bila tengah timbang2, fikir2, memang terlintas dalam hati: all these opportunities.. RR, and now NI.. i tot i could run away. but, no. there must be something Allah has prepared for me to do.. tapi kenapa kau tak nak, liyana? sampai bila kau nak tolak? kau takut? kenapa kau mesti lihat ia sebagai satu dugaan yang terlalu besar? di mana liyana yang dulu? aku hairan, ke manakah hilangnya semangat dan kesungguhan engkau? dulu, masa dlm prisma, mcm2 benda kau nak buat.. mcm2 kau nak contribute. but now..?
senior says: y is it that u have been receiving soooo many invitations?
she says: soooo many? ape je
she says: 2 je.
i wasn't being sarcastic, okay. i was only thinking RR'08 and NI je..
senior says: -.-"
senior says: abeh last yr RR head tu ape.
she says: tu dah berzaman~
senior says: last yr kat NI pon u were asked to b part of the comm.
she says: eh?
she says: takde plak
senior says: ape plak dah berzaman. mcm lah liyana tu tua sgt.
senior says: alar. kan liyana reject jadi treasurer.
she says: oohh.. ye tak ye
senior says: okayyy liyana.
senior says: my main point is not that.
senior says: mmg kite mesti rendah diri lah.
senior says: dan tak perlu bagitau org kekuatan kite.
senior says: we do it thru our actions.
senior says: and yes, u may say u find someone else who is capable to take that position
senior says: but as a matter of fact, that person will nvr be liyana. u get wat i mean?
she says: yes, sir!
i think i know what my problem is: sampai sekarang, after whatever i've gone thru, i still dont know my strengths. i dont want to acknowledge them. ketua pengawas, pengerusi prisma, ketua ahlulquran, bendahari NI, ELF quartermaster, ketua RR'07.. you know what i saw? only mistakes, weakness, my failure to keep the amanah.. i want to be given the chance again.. but when i was, when i am, i just want to push them away. is this what they call low self-esteem? and yeah, i think im being too pessimistic. a disease. should get rid of it quickly, shouldn't i?
i remember, asking my RR'07 advisor, "what have you learnt from me?".. in fact, what has anyone learnt from me? i dont see myself as an inspiration, that unique liyana who nobody else can be, who's made any contribution, or change anyone's life. i think, if anyone did learn something from me, during RR'07 or in any situation, i'll fly.
senior says: currently, if all of u 3 accept the position, i c great things!
senior says: im not sure if i have shared with u this b4.
senior says: b4 i took up the challenge given to me to lead NI.
senior says: i was really reluctant seh.
senior says: i was saying to myself, "tk pe lah, kasi a----- jadi chairman"
senior says: but then i realise, that it was never abt the position.
senior says: it was abt the amanah of that position.
yes, amanah! oh God... THAT's the problem. pikirkan amanah yang bakal dipikul.. ditambah dgn amanah belajar yang memang sedang dipikul.. takut yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong (or gendong?) keciciran. pikirkan dosa yang menunggu jika tak jaga amanah.. pikir the people who are gonna be affected.
and knowing myself, takut amanah belajar tu yang slip more..
senior says: if u know u have a clear vision of what u want to achieve, share it with the rest.
senior says: if u want, TP Muslim students to feel that Muslim environment the BEST they can experience.
senior says: den i suggest, u take the position lah.
senior says: but if u r okay to leave it to "chance" , then u have other options.
senior says: think abt it. mayb for s--- u can say, nxt yr oso can.
senior says: or 2 yrs later pon boleh. hehe.
s--- eh? hmmm... actually, i dont consider myself a member. bukan sombong.. tidak! tapi, mcm tak layak gitu. jika dibandingkan dgn bros and sis yang dah lama kat situ. kite ni, baru je satu event involved sgn s---.
senior says: but for NI, this is ur last yr to give ur best.
senior says: and when u r in the comm that u can truly move things.
aaah.. my last year to contribute. yes, i thought about that too.
senior says: having said all that, i also understand u have concerns abt ur studies.
senior says: and parents kan.
senior says: abt studies ni, sape yg bagi kite semua masa nak buat bende2 ni semua?
senior says: Allah kan?
senior says: jadi insyaAllah, kalau kite berjuang kerana Allah, Allah tak akan hampakan kite.
senior says: pentinggggggggg skali. ikhlas.
she says: yes.
dalam hati: alahai~ betulnyeeerrr :'(
senior says: personally, once i made my decision, i wouldnt want anyone else to try 2 convince me to change my mind.
senior says: because, i know that i made that decision after factoring all the possibilities.
senior says: so, for u, i pray that Allah eases the process for u to decide.
senior says: and once u make that decision, i am sure it is for the best.
she says: thank you

another alsagoffian!

yup, yup!

i was dang happy when i met nusaybah on the stairs at ITAS.. tengah turun tangga nak gi kantin 'Flavours' ah.

first week of school plak tu. tgh sorang2.. sekali, ternampak a familiar face! *sukerrrr*

never mind that she didnt go to TP from alsagoff.. she transferred to wak tanjong in... hmm.. tak ingat; sec 1 or 2, maybe.. and kita taklah rapat. but still, to finally have someone i know personally, in TP..

heh. k k.. dah tu je nak beritahu.. juniors dari madrasah lain ade uh.. so far, dah jumpe maarifians, arabiah-ians.. wak tanjong, mcm tak de gitu.nusaybah sorang je ah that i know.

thick bloOd

I am officially a blood donor!

hah!

yupz.. i went for my first blood donation yesterday at masjid ghufran. dari woodlands ke tampines.. sanggup! sebab tak nak miss the opportunity.

sebenarnye, mase 1st year nak donate, during AS club blood donation drive. tapi tak eligible sebab weight kurang dari 45kg.

Alhamdulillah... ternyata, kali ni Allah izinkan.. coz on the way to tampines, rasa nervous jugak, takut2 tak eligible lagi, sebab low haemoglobin ke ape ke.. tapi, nekad jugak. klw tak elegible, hmm.. takpe lah..

bila sampai kat multipurpose hall tu, a senior told me kak maryam AR ade kat situ.. tgh donate blood. tercari2 jugak. hmm.. ade jugak teman =)

filled in the form... was given a cert of appreciation (padahal belOm start donate blood pon!).. checked by a doctor (the doctor himself was sick sey.. tak pakai mask! and he never took temperature reading, main letak 37degrees je!).. my left middle finger pricked (oh my Allah~ sakit uh.. i think it's because the needle is thicker than the one i used during TP Open House. kinda jakun+"ohh..ohh..guLp" when i saw my own blood. haha), to check for plasma iron level.. then waited for my turn to donate blood..

bila tgh tunggu tu, sempat jugak berbual dgn kak maryam.. dia ceritakan jugak camne feelingnyer derma darah.. alahai.. tibe2, semakin nervous plak diri nih~ mcm nak gi confront something Big.

yang tak bestnyer, i was seated beside seorang rajul melayu uh.. haiz~ tak boleh nak pusingkan kepala ke kanan..

k, anyway.. the nurse covered my legs with selimut.. ntah kenapa, takut sejuk kot! then... dia check my blood pressure.. the strap tu (i dunno what it's called. aiyo~ dah dua tahun jadi biomed student pon masih tak tahu! eeks~) dia tak tanggalkan, tapi dia suruh me picit2 the raindrop-shaped stress ball.. sebab nak naikkan lagi blood flow kat arm tu..

oh, yes, the victim was my left arm~

1st, the nurse cari my vein. i couldnt see the vein yang dia nak tu. i asked her (santai2 je) how many years of experience does she have. 3, she said. waah~ lama tu.. nampak sgt the art of phlebotomy dia dah master uh. oh, and she said, tak nampak vein pon, tapi boleh feel.

dah tu............





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ape dia buat?
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she injected anaesthesia.

where was i looking? i looked at my arm alright. nak tengok camne dia masukkan jarum. and memang boleh rasa saNGAt.. bila dia push the fluid into my vein.. rasa sakit uh..

bedek ah klw orang kata tak rasa ape2 pon!

i was told to keep clinching and unclinching the stress ball.

then... i waited. sebab the nurse gi ambil the blood bag. (or transfusion bag??)

rase mcm tak selesa jugak ah, sebab my left arm bare je.

oh, i remember, ade lagi satu nurse shared/advised that if i was scared, tak usah tgk kat lengan bila the blood is drawn. hmm.. nak tgk jugak! yes, inilah yang dinamakan jakun, plus, facing the teeny-weeny bit of fear yang dah cukup menyesakkan klw dilayan.

selepas beberapa minit.. the ultimate challenge finally came~ (hah! macam betOl je!). the nurse gantung the bag kat bahagian bawah tempat rest tangan.. check the position of my vein.. cari the small hole where the 1st injection was made, and masukkan the boleh-tahan-tebal needle into my vein.

waduh~~ rasa sey jarum tu cucuk my flesh. dah tu, boleh rasa the needle 'poke' my vein. tak sakit??? mane ade! sakit~ tapikan, bukan sgt2 sakit tau. cuma, the feeling tu, mcm 'oh-my-god!-the-needle's-in-me'.. saat dia dah masukkan tu, terus mcm terduduk.

ntahlah, tak tahu camne nak describe lagi. yang penting, bile masuk vein je, terus nampak darah flow inside the tube into the blood bag. waaah~ my blood.. *double jakun*

tak boleh nak duduk diam ah mase tgh derma darah tu. mcm nak duduk straight and look at my arm closely.. tapi tak leh, kena sandar kat 'stretcher' tu (or whatever you call it) and tak leh angkat tangan.

paham2 je lah.. jarum tu panjang gak. (eh, setengah depa tu berapa panjang?) silap2, tertembus the other side of the vein, parah plak.

hmm... so what did i do masa the blood was being drawn? baca leaflet yang nurse bagi.. tgk sana, tgk sini.. nampak nyzah jugak.. and one sister, knew her from RR'07.. she was in safety from NYP.. tak ingat ah namanye.. dia pon cam kite jugak.

oh, and i did imagine: camne agaknye klw orang kena stab? mesti rasenye lebih maha dahsyat dari apa yang kite rase. fuh~ seram sejuk bila terpikir perkara tu..

around 7-10minutes, dah selesai. oh, mase tgh draw blood tu, kena keep picit the stress ball.. jenuh dan lenguh dibuatnyer! the nurse then clipped around the middle of the tube. i think untuk stopkan flow into the blood bag. i was ready for another stinging feeling bila dia nak keluarkan jarum. tapi, tup tup, tahu2 je, the jarum was out. i think it's automatic or something.

put pressure.. kena tunggu lagik... at one point, the nurse placed the filled blood bag on my arm. alahai~ time ginilah, klw ade cameraphone kan bagus. boleh capture that moment sey..

alhamdulillah~ overall, i felt happy that i finally did what i wanted.. satisfied knowing my blood will save someone, inshaAllah.. 300mL je (or 450mL).. tapi dah cukup byk.. and i wish more people will donate. our blood bank ni sering kekurangan tau. mcm kidney jugak. kesian orang2 yang meninggal kerana menunggu kidney yang baru. as for myself, masih tgh pikir2 samada nak opt out of HOTA ke tidak..

selepas tu, the other nurse (yang kasi advice tu) balut lengan dgn.. hmm.. tak tahu what the thing is called. she gave me iron tablets, ferrous fumarate, to be consumed for 3 to 5 days.. to replenish my body iron. and fyi, this medicine causes constipation.

ok, it's done.

took a rest, had a drink and a bite, the nurse (the one who drew my blood) called to me asking if i was alright, coz i looked pale.. but maybe it was the lights.. after that, i stepped out of the multi-purpose hall.

Masih dalam Istikharah..

and i thought one is done and over with.

i guess, these opportunities come to you, demanding your attention, sacrifice, commitment. waiting.

a weak servant that you are, you can only pray and put all your hopes and trust in Him. coz He knows what's best for you. and now you wait.

Ya Allah... please help me.

"...But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth and ye know not."
Surah al-Baqarah:216

Yes, im holding on to that.

RR'08 - Another opportunity or otherwise?

hmmm...

nak ke tak nak~

sape pandai-pandai grab??

ish, tak puas hati uh.. i just found out, that ade seorang rajul grabbed my picture from friendster. klw perempuan tak pe ah.. kawan sendiri pe..

jadi, bila nampak nama 'Muhammad Maliki Ibnu Muhammad' as one of the 8 people who grabbed my photos.. terus rasa mystified.

k, kena sangka baik. mungkin dia ambil gambar yang 'general' punyer.. the ones that have quotes/words of wisdom.

masuk tahun ke-tiga

sungguh, aku belum bersedia untuk menghadapi tahun tiga.

dan aku sudah pun merasakan tekanannya!

hmm.. the same groupmates for ALL 5 modules (aka subjects) for the WHOLE year. k, im ok with that. jadi tak pening cari lain2 orang untuk projek/tugasan yang lain.

BUT!

yang buat aku gerun, nervous, mcm-nak-break down, ialah aku dinamakan sebagai ketua kumpulan. a haste decision, i would say. sbb we were the last few people to write our names on a piece of paper. and each group must choose a leader.

quan jun dah sah2 volunteer dirinya, tapi ada satu member yang tak nak dia jadi. *tak tahu kenapa*. tup tup, yours truly yang jadi. hmmm... aku amat berharap quan jun tak kecil hati.

sebenarnya, ada jugak keinginan untuk menjadi ketua kumpulan. for once. coz since it's my last year, i thought the responsibility will be good for me - that is, will help me regain control of lazy myself and keep me motivated to learn more, to ask more.

BUT!

bila fikir bahawa this grouping is PERmaNENT, terbayang dalam kepala ni betapa BESARNYA tanggungjawab yang akan dipikul! whole year's group assignments, for all subjects.. jangan jangan, Major Projectnyer grouping pon kena jadi ketua (ohh!! i hope not) - bermakna, aku mesti berusaha untuk menjaga kebajikan kawan2, motivate them, jaga amanah, lead by example, hmm.. apa2 yang seorang ketua patut laksanakan lah..

seram.. dah lah aku ni bukan pelajar contoh (tutorials tak buat! datang lecture lambat! assignments.. setakat ok2 je..)

hmm.. i should focus more on the positive side.. ni peluang yang Allah berikan untuk kau, liyana! masakan kau tak tahu! masakan kau tak nak gunakan peluang ni sebaik2nya! this is an opportunity, not a burden! nor is it a punishment.

teringat kata2 ayah pagi semalam - liyana mesti tunjukkan kebolehan liyana sebagaimana kat alsagoff dulu.. this is your last year.. either you make it, or break it!

ya, liyana, kau tak boleh nafikan, kau sebenarnya mampu..

Ya Allah... mudahkanlah..

pakai make-up?

tiba-tiba je ade mood nak blog. bukan nak ceritakan pengalaman di KL, atau the long-overdue TKD competition, tapi nak share pendapat.. dapat ilham dari blog seorang kakak =)

yup, kite memang setuju: mesti bersih, cantik dan presentable, sebab setiap saat Dia melihat kita.

tapikan, klw bab pakai make-up ni.. maaf ye, kite tak pandai dlm hal2 ni, jadi ape yang kite cakap, semua based on persepsi kite yang dhaif dan cetek ni..

hmm.. kite kadang2 sedih tgk adik2 yang sibuk berhias sana sini.. okaylah, paling simple, pakai eyeliner. perlu ke..? PERLU KE..?

dik, kak, awak pakai ni sebab nak lelaki pandang ke? maaf sangat2! kite bukan menuduh, kite tanye betol2 ni. sebab nak sangat tahu motif di sebalik awak pakai eyeliner..

kalau tak pakai, mata nampak bengkak? nampak kuyu? eyebag lebih obvious? hmmm... klw gitu, awak risau penampilan awak orang comment?

dik, kak, kite bukan apa, tapi rasanya, paling penting, mata kita ni takde tahi mata. tu yang aib, kan, klw orang nampak?

biarlah mata kita kelihatan semula jadi.. bengkak, mata kuyu, eyebag, usah dirisaukan... dik, kak, awak perasan tak yang consciousness about how your eyes, your face looks tu syaitan cuba bisik2kan?

klw beri alasan, saye dah lama pakai... klw tak pakai, mcm tak sah gitu.. insecure gitu..
dik, kak.. it's been years you've had that mindset.. it's been ingrained in you.. tapi adik and kakak tahu kan, semua tu boleh diubah kepada yang lebih baik?

yang kite pernah dgr, sunnah Nabi pakai celak waktu sebelum tidur. so, ape cerita nak pakai eyeliner gi sekolah?

make-up pergi mane2 pon, tak perlu kot.

sebenarnye kan, kite kagum dgn kakak2 dan adik2 yang tak pakai make-up bila keluar rumah.. sebab terbukti, mereka kelihatan natural... just beautiful the way they are.. awak tak percaya?
hmm.. mungkin, awak fikir, kite ni jenis yang tak tahu menilai penampilan fizikal, maklumlah, kite ni tak reti soal make-up, tak cerewet. tapi tak! kite rasa, ape yang kite lihat tu betul lah! bukan nak ambil hati mereka, atau berpura2..

apa pun, kite tetap dgn pendirian kite: kite suka sekali lihat kawan2 kite tak pakai make-up.. hmm.. if only they know how beautiful, how totally okay they look, without having to put on bedak, celak, eyeshadow, foundation, yada yada..

oh, tak lupa juga, kan LECEH setiap kali selepas ambil wudhu', nak pakai make-up lagi.. haiz~ tak tahu ape nak cakap..

tak usah TABARRUJ! TAK USAH!

dik, kak... pandangan siapa yang kita nak? siapa sebenarnya yang kita nak impress?

mendapat pandangan Allah tu lebih mahal dari pandangan sape2... tu sebenarnya yang kita kena kejarkan..

buat kawan2, adik2, dan kakak2 kite,

kite bukan nak marah awak,
nak malukan awak,
nak action baik,
tapi kite cuma nak luahkan perasaan kite je..
kite nak jugak nasihatkan awak..
kite nak yang terbaik untuk awak..

hmmm... cakap pasal bedak, k, kite tak leh nak sangkal, bagi sesetengah orang, bedak boleh help serikan wajah yang nampak penat, etc etc.. tapi tgk jenis bedak lah ye? tipis2 je pakai, tak usah nak tebal2 plak.

heran~ heran~

klw ade yang soal: klw gi majlis camne? jalan hari raye ke.. makan malam ke.. graduation day ke.. DnD ke.. date ke.. takkan tak nak pakai make-up kottt??

haaa.. tu kite malas nak jawab. jawapan kite sama je dgn ape yang kite tulis kat atas.

kalau jadi pengantin? tu pasti perlukan make-up lah kan?

tu soalan cepumas! sampai skrg, kite pon tak pasti.. bingung jugak biler fikir kalau time kite nye turn kahwin. sebenarnye, kite ade terfikir, boleh tak pengantin tak yah pakai make-up, walau secalit pon? agaknye, pelik tak citarasa kite ni?

seganlah biler pikir rijal and orang luar nampak kite berhias. segan sangat2!

okaylah, kite rase dah cukup panjang dah pendapat kite ni..

pendek kata:
GO SIMPLE!

oh, and bagi sape2 yang berpendapat pakai make-up tu menunjukkan 'bersih, cantik and presentable', please eh, cuba fikir dalam2 balik. klw tak dapat nak fikir gak, takpe, contact kite. kite sedia membantu.

k, sekian. terima kasih.

april updates

1. today's farhana's birthday! fyi, she's my classmate in TP, the only other madrasah alumni in biomedical science batch 2006/2009. yeah!

2. work is good. lately i've been using the pc a lot. meaning, straining my eyes. and there isnt any good view outside the window. but.... i like the place.. not many people. except for mondays to wednesdays, the place is peaceful. cuma.. kadang2 rasa macam nak tido. alahai~ tempting betol ah sofa kat volunteers room tu!

3. went to KL last thursday (3 april) til saturday (5 april). naik keretapi! first time~ suker lah jugak. tapi, bila kat dlm keretapi tu, asyik tgk jam, bila lah nak sampai KL sentral. heh. btw, it wasnt a family trip. guess!

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went with adilah and nafisah! and..... met up with kak ummu and afeyah kat KL. yessa!

k, ceritanya panjang. cut short, highlights of the short trip are Pertosains at KLCC and....

KL International Book Fair 2008 at PWTC ^_^

4. gi majlis walimah bro hafiz mustaffa and kak khairiah on 29 march. i like the lime green theme colour... or is it soft green? ntah lah..

anyway, biler tgh dok makan baru me perasan satu lagu... bukan ape, ade satu lirik tu yang caught my attention: "istri cerdik yang solehah" and... terngiang2 sampai dah kat rumah.

haaaa... teka lirik lagu ape tuh??

tak tahu?

oohhhh... dlm post lain, me beritahu k. hehe!


k, rasanye tu je buat mase nih.

last but not least, kite rinduuuuu kat kawan2 kat syria!! rindu kat ust sakinah jugak!


and.... rindu kat kawan2 alsagoff...! insha Allah, kita jumpa kat simpang bedok eh!

'cause it's us against the world

rasanya, dlm banyak2 boyband, i like westlife the most. not the guys, ya! im talking about the songs.. and mark's singing voice. subhanallah~

plus, they're not too high-profile, banyak scandal ke ape ke.. and they are still standing tall..

so, baru2 ni, terdengar abang bukak lagu baru westlife kat pc.. sedap ah..

liriknye pon, cukup bermakna!

Us against the world
Against the world
Us against the world
Against the world

You and I, we’ve been at it so long
I still got the strongest fire
You and I, we still know how to talk
Know how to walk that wire

Sometimes I feel like
The world is against me
The sound of your voice, baby
That's what saves me
When we're together I feel so invincible

Cause it's us against the world
Me and you against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Cause it's us against the world tonight

Us against the world
Against the world

There’ll be days
We’ll be on different sides but
That doesn’t last too long
We find ways to get it on track
And know how to turn back on

Sometimes I feel
I can’t keep it together
Then you hold me close
And you make it better
When I’m with you
I can feel so unbreakable

Cause it's us against the world
Me and you against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Cause it's us against the world tonight

We’re not gonna break
Cause we both still believe
We know what we’ve got
And we’ve got what we need alright
We’re doing something right

Cause it's us against the world
Me and you against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall

Cause it's us against the world tonight

Us against the world
Me and you against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall

Us against the world
Yeah it’s Us against the world, baby
Us against the world
Tonight

Us against the world
Against the world
Us against the world

and, when i saw the music video, i realise that the song is about them, westlife. hmmm... the years they've been together, the friendship, hardships and happy times.. aahh... i guess this song is relevant for many people out there =)




sorry, the video-embedding function has been disabled. you can still view the video at youtube though. click here.

gambar-gambar lama uh part 2

im currently looking in a bunch of CD-RWs to find some pictures for a a friend of mine. and... and i found gambar2 lama.. aaahh~ memories.. buat gue tersenyum2 sendiri! heh.


tgh beratur nak ambil cert


some of us =) nampak me tak?? haaa.. Missing-In-Action on my graduation day.


the spongebob banner that KKIK (Kelab Kempen Ilmiyah dan Kreativiti) PRISMA made for Arabic Week.


sec4 team - the tukang buat bunyi


sec4 team - the tukang nyanyi. i like lagu arab yang korang bawak.. rentaknya diambil dari lagu Dia Kekasih Allahh (by Hijjaz), senikatanya dari satu sajak.. sampai sekarang me tak tahu sajak ape..


PRISMA Orientation Camp. tgh time makan.. and fyi, the room is called 'Domestic Room', where pada zaman dahulu kala, kakak2 menengah belajar masak (way before my time in sec), and it's where peraduan memasak during National Day Celebration is held (tak tahu klw sampai skrg peraduan tu still ada ke tak)..


Alsagoff and Chong Boon. during Bahas Piala Berita Harian 2005. unpleasant debating memory for me~


National Day Celebration. Sec4 performance. eh, Hajrah jadi siape eh?? leftenan adnan ke?


K, ni time NDC dah selesai.. dewan dah dikemas.. orang2 pon ramai dah balik. ape lagi, dok dlm kelas, makan! heh. i remembered, ustaz or ustazah ade lalu, cepat2 kita cover makanan, tunjuk muka innocent. kwang, kwang, kwang~


Ni some of us tgh bukak the red plastic yang cover the lights. i liked the reddish light effect. and i still do believe our Sec4 design crew did a GOOD JOB!
and fyi, carpet tu kan, is where kita solat jamaah ramai2. and the back part was where we had our exams. and so.. bila takde keje, some of us lepak2 kat atas carpet, or buat hall tu macam playground! aiseyman, happening~!


Cikgu Suhana with Maisarah. tgh jolok mangga. Yes! kat luar kelas kita (Sec4) ada pokok mangga. adelah kita-kita semangat turun ke tingkat satu, ade jugak ke tingkat tiga (hall) semata2 nak dapatkan mangga ^.^


kat computer room, known to us as AVA Room, with Abidah (left) and Amira. terserempak Amira last two weeks gitu. suker! Abidah plak... dah lamaaa tak jumpe. apa khabar agaknye dia sekarang?


takde keje~ heh. seriously, it was the last day of school.. rata2 kita semua tak bawak buku sekolah (mungkin ade segelintir yang bawak kot.. as for me, i brought buku Biology, sebab that day ade Bio exam kat Institute of Science)..


my table mates!! suker, suker, suker sgt dok semeja dgn diorang~!! oh ya~ computer kat belakang tu, baru me teringat.. that sometimes ade jugak me gunekan, takde internet ah..

[oops, gambar kena delete sebab ade part, yang kalau ade rajul perasan, memang tak sesuai]
kat dalam toilet -_-" tgh emo ah.. heh. kenangan sey, bergambar dlm toilet. fyi, toilet ni, known as 'toilet biru', is usually where 'kakak2' go ah.. klw toilet sebelah ('toilet pink') selalunye adik2 primary gunekan. cakap pasal toilet, teringat plak time kita-kita kena cuci toilet. macam2 karenah! tapi meriah~


so-called 'budak-budak kiut sec4'. hehe~


dgn teacher ain, our computer class teacher. kat sinilah, comp class is conducted, as well as, where students surf the net (teringat yang budak2 selalu bukak friendster. tgh hot ah time tu~).


one of our many poses.. kat belakang tu, Ms Habeebah, english teacher. (oh, and we had english class on our last day of school. *mMmMmMMMmmm*) last time i heard, beliau mengajar kat Irsyad.


me and my brother. tell me the truth, do i \pass for a boy??

sakitnya hati......!!!!

sakit sangat!

penat ah, dgn hati yang sakit ni.

sakit dgn penyakit fitnah hati!

Ya Allah.. kuatkanlah.. kuatkanlah..

Aku belum bersedia..

muda-muda begini, aku patut fikir tentang pelajaran.. tentang ibu bapa..

kadang-kadang rasa macam, alangkah baiknya kalau kahwin cepat-cepat~

tenang sikit hati ni.

urgh!

kenapa eh, aku boleh dilanda ujian ni??

mujahadah ni terasa susah.... lama sangat..

bila nak berakhir?

padahal, belum pun setahun..

dan aku tak boleh lari..

lainlah kalau aku belajar di luar negeri.

eh, tak sabarnya nak belajar kat luar negeri~

hmmmm...

Ya Allah.. aku tidak mahu cemarkan hati ni dengan sesuatu yang memabukkan..

melalaikan... menyeksakan!

Ya Allah.. ku mohon pertolonganMu..

Leraikanlah kekusutan ini..

rasa diri ni kotor nah...

diri kotor, hati sakit -

Astaghfirullah.. Astaghfirullah..

quick updates

1. alhamdulillah... i've got a part-time job. 5 days a week. but i need to find another work, probably.. weekend ah..

2. volunteered to teach ngaji at dotdotdot wink at ust sakinah - yup, ustaz dah call.. and turned out that he is ust zauwiah's adik! what a smaaaallll world!!

3. do you know that there's KL international bookfair on 3-14 april, at PWTC?? you dont? well, now im telling ya! currently trying to make plans with adilah to go there and to ajak other alsagoff friends along.

4. wont be in singapore from this friday to sunday.. doakan ana selamat pergi dan selamat pulang ye?

5. went to NI usrah last friday "Ciri-Ciri Wanita Solehah".. it was the best NI usrah yet!!

6. two weddings this month: kak afia and bro hafiz mustaffa. *throws confetti* know them both from saff.


k, itu sahaje..

A Silver (part zero)

IVP story coming up...

dont have the mood and energy to write.. i know it's gonna be one long post.. but at the same time, i want to record the feelings i felt during the whole competition..

hmm... later ah..

post-competition fatigue.. badan rasa sengal2.. and sebab penat ni kan, malas pulak nak pikir ape2.

k, i wanna eat my all-time fav snack: milo n biskut.

bye!

"Kenangilah akhawat-akhawat kita yang telah berusaha untuk menjadikan
ahlulquranPTS sebagai tempat untuk memujahadahkan diri. Kenangilah usaha
Halimah, Liyana, Mardhiya, dan ustazah Mariam (dan juga mereka-mereka yang tidak ana sebutkan namanya di sini) yang mana mereka adalah insan yang telah banyak berkorban untuk AhlulquranPTS."

tak, ustazah, ana tak banyak berkorban untuk ahlulquran..

ana gagal untuk infaqkan sebaiknya masa dan tenaga untuk ahlulquran..

ana rasa seperti seorang hipokrit bila membaca tulisan ustazah tu..

hati ni menangis, mengenangkan diri yang tak bersungguh-sungguh melaksanakan amanah..

tak, ana tak layak untuk disenaraikan bersama barisan akhawat yang telah lebih banyak berkorban, menyumbang, dan berusaha untuk menghidupkan ahlulquran..

dan ini bukan ungkapan yang mengikut emosi semata-mata..

"Orang yang ikhlas ialah orang yang menyembunyikan kebaikannya sebagaimana ia menyembunyikan kejahatannya."
sms from kak hafizah NI, 18 feb 2008

terima kasih kak..!

thinking of the meaning of it.. trying to reflect.

how i'd like to become like (just) that.

*************

a senior once said, "... tawadhu' tu kena tempat boleh?"

ok, saya paham yang ianya bukan satu statement serius.... was i hurt when i heard (or shall i say, saw it appear on the pc screen) that?

hmmm... im not sure. maybe not. how about now? not so sure, either.

im thinking now.. tawadhu' tu kena bertempat eh? tak boleh all the time? kan hati ni kena dijaga selalu. kalau boleh, tak nak bagi timbul ape2 perasaan mazmumah. awak ingat pujian tu tak berbekas dlm hati seseorang, walau pujian tu sepintas lalu? ikhlas, tak ikhlas, si penerima telah pun mendengarnya. and awak ingat ape? senang nk imbangi the thin line between jadi rendah diri dgn bangga diri? awak pikir senang ke nak mujahadah? hati manusia ni sensitif.

hmmmm... that senior also said, "shuttup la liyana.."

saya tahu ianya satu gurauan. tapi terperanjat jugak sebab dengan selamba dia boleh kata gitu. hmmm... alangkah baiknya jika dia dapat memperbaiki lagi cara mu'amalahnya dengan perempuan, baik face-to-face atau chat atau sebagainya.

**************

saya nak jadi tawadhu' tak kira masa tak kira tempat, boleh tak?
saya nak jadi ikhlas, boleh tak?
klw saya nak sembunyikan kebaikan saya, awak boleh tolong jangan heboh2kan?
klw saya cakap, "oh.. i didnt do much.." boleh tak awak berikan respon yang dapat membina jiwa muslim, dapat membantu saya bentuk peribadi muslim (for example, encourage me to be tawadhu' consistently, or a reminder about sifat tawadhu', jadi saya semakin suka nak merendah diri)?
hmmm... saya pon nak jadi seorang yang zuhud 'aniddunya, boleh tak?

susah kan?

hmmmm... kena mujahadah ni..

lagi satu, "merendah diri" kat sini bukanlah bermaksud 'tunduk kepala.. tak nak cakap dgn orang.. tak voice out opinion.. segan2 nak contribute.. and whatnot'.. awak semua terpelajar kan? jadi, saya harap awak faham konsep tawadhu'/rendah diri yang saya tulis kat sini.

sekian, terima kasih =)

not in the pattern team, ey..

"Erm.. No.. Dis yr our batch only me, janice n yanning going for pattern team.."

"Okay. So, no reserve member?"

"Nope.. Coz the other focusing on sparring.. Yup.. N u haf missed training for too long oredi.."

"Yup.. I agree to that. Thanks for telling me, ------. And im glad that i asked, coz if not, i may not have taken é hint n may be in the dark all é time. I truly appreciate ur honesty. All é best to you girls! Make us proud yea! =)"

"Okie.. Thanks a lot.. Sry to keep you waiting.. N all the best for your sparring too."

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

on a more positive note, you may want to check these videos out. some impressive taekwondo moves.. *make me wish i can do that!*

taekwondo KO


taekwondo best knockouts *main kepala ke per*


taekwondo super kick vol. 1 *it's all about stamina and speed~*


taekwondo super kick vol. 2 *it's about instinct and agility, people!*


definition: inside look - taekwondo WTF world championship #1 *perasan ada muslimah pakai tudung tak? fuyo~ salute! salute! oh.. ade budak2 jugak. they do pattern ah.. takkan nak lawan kot.*


definition: inside look - taekwondo WTF world championship #2 *this is for those of you who want to know how the sparring competition works*


click here to watch 2006 world poosae (pattern) competition female 14-18yrs old individual bronze, silver n gold medallists.

click here for another pattern competition, female, group category. i like the 2nd pattern from the gold medallists.

hmmm...

ayah tak izinkan gi usrah esok. sebabnya: it's at night. 'nanti liyana balik pukul 11 malam..'

bila tanya ayah tu, i said, 'klw tak boleh, ayah cakap je.' sebab ayah ni suka cakap panjang2 dulu.. tak straight to the point.. tapi selalunya, dari body language dan cakapnya yang panjang tu, boleh diketahui samada ayah redha ke tak. and i usually say, 'klw ayah tak kasi/klw tak boleh, pon takpe'.

i mentioned, 'tajuknya: understanding the mind of terrorists' and beri detailnye sekali: kat rumah bro ishak from NYPMS, kat hougang, dekat dgn masjid Istiqamah, anjuran Nur Ikhwan, selalunya usrah dgn sisters je, tapi this time mixed..

ok, so, when i got the red light, i added, 'sebenarnya ade dua event, tapi liyana tanye satu je.' then i told him about Sapphite. 'Sapphite tu Saff Appreciation Tea untuk Saff volunteers' and i gave the detail.

'tu ok.. sebab siang..... balik siang-sianglah..'

alhamdulillah~ ^_^

sebenarnya, i prefer going to usrah dari appreciation tea tu. lebih bermanfaat ye tak? plus, siang-siang me dah imbang2kan untuk tak gi event tu. mcm tak layak plak nak gi. tak kenal sgt most of the people there nanti..

tapi, takpe. pastinya ada sesuatu yang baik yang boleh me bawak balik, insha Allah~

clips from the kite runner

'For you a thousand times over!'



'The Kite Gift'


fyi: in the book, hassan got something else for his birthday, not a kite.


'There is a way to be good again.'



'I don't want to forget anymore.'


and sami yusuf's Supplication is the background music for the scene below. i was pleasantly suprised when i heard it, coz it is like a sort of international recognition.. plus, the lyrics are meaningful, fit into the scene nicely.. i hope at least someone out there will be touched by them.

Oxford, oh~ Oxford!

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Saya berasal dari Kuala Lumpur, sekarang mengaji di University of Oxford dalam bidang Perundangan, insya-Allah tamat pengajian Jun 2009. Sebelum ini, saya berjuang bersama-sama Shafie, Izwan, Faris, dan lain-lain di Kolej Yayasan UEM, dua tahun yang penuh nikmat dan pengajarannya.



Mitos
Oxford memang banyak mitosnya, dan salah satu mitos yang perlu dihapuskan serta-merta ialah tanggapan bahawa lebih susah untuk mendapat tempat di Oxford berbanding dengan Cambridge. Sama sahaja sebenarnya – masalahnya, oleh sebab jauh lebih ramai pelajar memilih untuk memohon tempat di Cambridge, maka tak hairanlah terdapatnya lebih ramai pelajar Malaysia di Cambridge berbanding dengan Oxford! Kalau dah berazam nak datang, jangan hiraukan statistiknya – pohon sahaja, dan tawakal kepada Allah.

Sistem Pengajian
Dari segi pembelajaran, semestinya Oxford memberikan suasana dan taraf pembelajaran yang memang susah untuk ditandingi. Sebagai seorang pelajar perundangan di Oxford, setiap minggu, saya diberikan senarai kes-kes dan artikel untuk dibaca - amnya, setiap senarai akan mengambil masa lebih kurang 30 jam untuk dihabiskan. Kami cuba mengurangkan penggunaan buku teks, dan menggunakan bahan asal, iaitu kes dan jurnal, supaya kami tidak terlalu dipengaruhi oleh pendapat penulis-penulis buku teks, dan lebih bebas untuk membuat kesimpulan kami sendiri. Selepas habis membaca bahan untuk suatu minggu itu, dan betul-betul memahaminya, kami akan menulis karangan yang telah ditetapkan untuk minggu tersebut. Selalunya, karangan ini akan membolehkan kami menyuarakan pendapat dan kesimpulan kami sendiri tentang satu isu yang penting berkaitan topik yang dipelajari pada minggu itu.

Setiap minggu, akan ada perbincangan dengan guru – selalunya lebih kurang sejam, dan biasanya dengan seorang lagi pelajar, ataupun seorang diri dengan guru. Dalam perbincangan inilah idea-idea dan kesimpulan yang telah kami dapat setelah membaca bahan yang disarankan dapat disalurkan, dibahaskan, dan diuji keutuhannya, sehinggalah guru pasti bahawa kami telah betul-betul memahami topik untuk minggu tersebut. Memang menarik, memang seronok, dan amatlah memberangsangkan – selagi kami ada kes ataupun artikel dan hujah yang logik, walaupun guru mungkin tidak bersetuju dengan kesimpulan kami, tetapi masih lagi diterima – begitulah kebebasan yang diberi untuk berfikir. Inilah aspek yang paling menarik tentang pembelajaran di Oxford – kami dihumbankan ke dalam kegelapan, dan diberi pelita dalam bentuk pembacaan dan perbincangan mingguan, tetapi jalan yang akan kami ambil, dan destinasi yang akan kami sampai, bebas untuk kami carikan sendiri.

Islam di Oxford
Salah seorang ulama yang terulung di Oxford, Sheikh Afifi-al Akiti, pernah menyifatkan pengajian di Oxford sebagai meneruskan tradisi pengajian yang dipelopori oleh madrasah-madrasah Islam yang ulung pada zaman kegemilangan Islam. Bayangkan, dalam setiap satu daripada 39 kolej di Oxford, dikumpulkan sarjana-sarjana dari pelbagai bidang, dan pelajar yang datang untuk menuntut pelbagai bidang juga, dan dalam suasana ini, dibolehkan perbincangan, perdebatan, dan perkongsian antara manusia yang berbagai-bagai bidang dan pengalamannya – inilah keunikan Oxford, dan salah satu sebab utama untuk anda memilih untuk meneruskan pengajian di sini.



Oxford sememangnya diberikan baraqah dari Allah s.w.t., dengan adanya sarjana-sarjana Islam yang bersama menegakkan keilmuan Islam di Oxford Centre of Islamic Studies. Pada satu masa dahulu, pusat ini merupakan bumbung untuk Orientalis – sekarang, gedung ilmu yang merupakan nikmat Allah untuk setiap pelajar Muslim. Bayangkan, perpustakaannya yang penuh dengan karya-karya terulung sarjana-sarjana Islam, ahli-ahlinya sibuk mendalami karya-karya Ibnu Taymiyyah, al-Ghazali, dan ramai
lagi, dalam usaha membawa keilmuan Islam yang tiada bandingannya untuk dunia yang teramatlah memerlukannya, bangunan baru yang tersergam indah, dengan masjid yang akan melaungkan azan merentas menara-menara Oxford buat pertama kalinya, insya-Allah, bermula awal 2008. Di sinilah menetapnya salah seorang ulama Malaysia yang paling berpotensi, seorang sarjana Islam yang penuh dengan ilmu dari zaman agung keilmuan Islam, yang dapat membawa tulisan Imam Syafie, Imam Nawawi, Al-Ghazali ke dalam kehidupan harian kita pada hari ini, dan mencari jawapan kepada persoalan-persoalan umat Islam pada hari ini tanpa meninggalkan ilmu yang telah dikumpulkan ulama-ulama sepanjang 1400 tahun perkembangan Islam – mahir dalam Bahasa Arab mahupun Latin, al-Ghazali mahupun Thomas Aquinas, seorang guru yang sentiasa tawaduk dan rendah diri, halus dan berbudi bahasa, bak kata pepatah, semakin berisi padi, semakin tunduknya ia.

Oxford University Islamic Society satu keluarga kedua – dari iftar setiap malam Ramadhan, ke solat Jumaat dan usrah setiap minggu, program-program untuk memperkenalkan Islam kepada sahabat-sahabat yang bukan Muslim, juga peringatan untuk mereka yang sudahpun Muslim. Oxford University Malaysia Club akan membantu dari hari pertama, satu jaringan pelajar baik-baik belaka, yang tidak pernah melepaskan kesempatan mengadakan majlis makan-makan, dan mengusahakan Malaysia Night setiap tahun. Abang-abang dan kakak-kakak pasca-ijazah, dengan tahlil dan tazkirah setiap tiga minggu, makanan Malaysia yang dapat mengurangkan sedikit rindu dan pilu, keluarga baru untuk bermesra dan bersalam-salaman pada Hari Raya di perantauan jauh, rumah terbuka untuk mengeratkan silaturrahim dan mengisi perut yang teringin makanan dari bumi sendiri. Dari segi masyarakat Malaysia dan Islam, janganlah risau buat sesaat pun.



Masa Lapang
Di luar masa akademik, memang tak akan habis pilihannya. Mungkin bekerja, tiga jam seminggu, menyediakan makanan untuk insan-insan yang tidak berumah? Mungkin berdiri, dua jam seminggu, di jalan yang paling sibuk di Oxford, berkempen untuk rakyat Palestin yang menderita? Mungkin memegang secawan teh setiap minggu, membincangkan diri, dunia, dan kehidupan di pejabat Oxford Muse? Menghadiri syarahan-syarahan perdana yang tidak pernah terhenti – pakar ekonomi, pakar perundangan, ahli politik, saintis-saintis, ulama dan sarjana – asalkan mencari, pasti dijumpa. Mengajar Bahasa Inggeris kepada anak pelarian dari negara yang menderita? Bermain badminton, skuasy, bola sepak, atau mungkin mengayuh? Asalkan ada kemahuan, di Oxford, pasti ada jalannya.

Bandar
Bandarnya teramatlah cantik – penuh dengan bangunan lama yang tersergam indah, diselitkan dengan taman-taman yang sentiasa membawa ucapan Subhanallah! ke lidah yang kagum dengan kebesaran ciptaan Allah s.w.t. Makanan halal tak perlu dirisaukan –
Nando’s yang halal, KFC yang halal, restoran-restoran India, empat kedai sandwic yang halal, kedai kebab setiap 500 m, restoran Itali yang halal pun ada! Dan kalau nak jimat, makanlah makanan vegetarian yang dihidangkan dalam kolej, ataupun masak sendiri pun boleh – lima penjual daging halal berniaga di Oxford, semuanya di jalan yang sama.

Saya rasa itulah, sedikit-sebanyak, yang boleh saya kongsi tentang Oxford University. Untuk seorang pelajar Muslim, saya rasa memang selesa dan betul-betul sesuai, jika hendak mengaji di sini. Jangan pedulikan mitos, jangan pedulikan suara-suara yang mengatakan bahawa untuk anda masuk Oxford itu mustahil – jika teringin mencuba, kuatkan azam, dapatkan ‘straight A’s’, sediakan diri untuk temuduga, dan berdoalah kepada Allah s.w.t., jika ditakdirkan anda sampai ke ‘the city of dreaming spires’, saya mengalu-alukan kedatangan anda. Kalau nak tahu lebih banyak tentang proses permohonan, kolej mana nak dipilih, dan hal-hal praktikal sedemikian, silalah hubungi saya.


Jika ada sebarang persoalan, hubungilah saya:

hizami.mohdiskandar@magd.ox.ac.uk

Insya-Allah, kita akan bertemu, pada satu masa dan tempat yang dipilih Allah s.w.t.

Wassalam,
Hizami

diambil dari http://www.iluvislam.com/v1/readarticle.php?article_id=634


hmm.... nak gi Oxford.. nak gi sangat..! tapi, saye bukan A student, apatahlagi straight A student.. :'( macam mane eh? ade harapan ke..? macam takde gitu.. perbelanjaannye pon, saye tak mampu.. alahai.. sedihnye saye pikirkan perkare ni..

restless

im restless because exams are looming nearer. TWO MORE WEEKS, my dear!

and also because i messed up few quizzes, a presentation, and my image as a student (remember ddct?)

and also because im having mixed feelings about going to tkd trainings. and this time, it's more prone to not going to training anymore.

let's see.. positive matters and happy news that i'd like to share with you:

1. went to kak hidayati n bro rizal's nikah ceremony at ba'alwie mosque last saturday. suker!!

btw, i think masjid ba'alwie is not so accessible. nasih baik gue follow my guts to alight from the bus. right at the last minute, tau! klw tidak.. haiz.. tak tahu lah berapa jauh the next bustop is! and i wonder if it has a place for muslimah yang ma'zurah to sit eh? i didnt know where to sit, so i sat at the edge of the muslimah praying corner, right at its entrance. and most of the time, i stood. hmm.. ape hukumnye eh? i know kalau lintas je boleh. tapi klw stood for more than 30 minutes (coz i wanted to watch the akad, and take pictures of the bride and groom)..?

ooohhh... and another thing i'd like to admit: i actually thought bro rizal dah kahwin. oopppss! betul.. mati2 ingatkan dia dah kahwin, and dah ade anak. huhu.. kak hidayati, if you ever read this post.. afwan sgt2! jgn ambil hati ye? i think i got the impression when i attended a particular meeting at saff centre. bro rizal was there, bro hafiz, bro mohksin, kak hidayati and kak aishah were there.. yup, could've been a vmd meet. waduh~ rasa bersalah sey.. =(

and... kak hidayati looked beautiful!! i think the make-up is nice (sorry for the lack of a better word).. i mean, it's not the mak-andam type. paham tak? plus, i dont usually comment on people's make-up ok? so, i really mean what i said.

2. im now taking arabic class.. with ustaz iskandar.. haa.. klw yang belajar kat wehdah dulu tahu lah siape dia.. or yang belajar kat tampines north cc. it feels really good to be learning arabic again - an arabic book, or sheet, in front of you, and you are busy putting the 'syakl' and scribbling the meaning of the words.

semalam, i went to masjid raudhah with kak aminah (from nypms). dia ajak gi kelas 'cara solat rasulullah s.a.w.' by ustaz hamzah jumat. gunekan buku 'sifatu solatinnabi' karangan syeikh nasiruddin albani.

bila masuk kelas tu, my eyes quickly laid upon few makciks yang pakai niqab (dalam hati: waahh~). that aside, the class is in english. bukan sahaja bapa2, pakcik2, abang2, makcik2 melayu yang ada, tetapi juga indians. klw chinese or caucasian or eurasian, takde kot.

and what i learnt from yesterday's class was that there are 6 ways of reciting tasyahhud.

3. semalam jugak, kakak datang rumah.. kakak nak tgk my tkd pics. fuyo, segan sey.. sebab i dont have a lot of pictures and takde apa yang nak ditunjuk pon. plus, bukannya me bagus sgt (though i didnt say it out loud). at last, tunjuk video pattern yang bersejarah tu (sebab mak dah mention that i have a video). embarrassed sey! kakak kata, liyana ni sajak jadi ustazah ke.. pensyarah ke.. hehe.. tergelak jugak bila kakak cakap camtu.. adelah lagi comment2 dia. ape-ape je lah, kakak ni! ditambah pula dgn komen ayah dgn mak. haiz~ padahal sebenarnya, takde ape yang perlu dibesar2kan.

4. im currently reading the kite runner. watched the movie already, online. mengusik jiwa, movie tu! of friendship, betrayal, undying loyalty.. of potrayal of the life in afghanistan. i watched with an objective mind ah.. regarding the potrayal of taliban and such. coz to me, these are just snippets of how afghanistan is, and how it was. it may not be entirely accurate, but definitely not a lie, but i accept it as something that could have been, and is, happening.

for you a thousand times over.. kecewa jugak coz character hassan takde mase dewasa.. cerita ni diceritakan seolah2 ianya kejadian sebenar.. and if the adult hassan was alive, and that he and amir were reunited at last, i would have cried!! letter yang hassan hantar kat amir pon mengharukan.

ok, friends! i strongly recommend you to read and watch the kite runner.

and yes, i find the visual representation of the book satisfying. worth it.




*inhale.. exhale..* looking forward to the chinese new year holiday~

gambar-gambar lama uh..

that's kak firza.. doing ermm... not sure, looking at the list of pax i think. nak print kot. anyway, im glad that i met her during RR'07!


starting from the one wearing pink tudung: kak idahyu, kak fadzillah, kak khairunnisa and kak khairunnisa. again, im thankful for these sisters ;)


from left: fadhilah, syazalyn and erny. huhu.. im not going to get bored saying this: im forever greatful to have met all the girls.. and for those whom i've already known before RR'07, to have got the chance to get to know them better *all smiles* indeed, this was one of the blessings from me being involved in RR'07..


tgh kemas barang2 kat dalam kotak, mainly badges and drawstring bags i think. fyi, those two things were the souvenirs for the participants.


the facis, representing the facis, who came for the post-mortem. yupz, they are discussing the matters to be raised during the session.


girls one side, the guys the other two sides..


haiz.. tak boleh angkat ah that i had to chair moderate the session. segan tau. segan!!! on a more positive note, the one yang pakai tudung dark purple is kak huda, my mentor. yesSah!!!


kak rufi (short for rufihaza) - i like her! turned out that she's my course senior kat TP.


ok, ni belum ready. ape-ape 'ntah~


dont have a better picture ah.. so, ni lah kita-kita yang hadir time post-mortem tu. ade jugak yang takde dlm gambar coz dah balik dulu. fyi, it was 11.15+ pm already =S

Exam timetable's out!

Yupz! 3 exam papers only.

BUT!

i still got tests, 2 of them i think, on the 18 feb week. =O

sepandai-pandai tupai melompat..

k, dah tiba masanya kau stop skipping lectures!

my ddct (drug development and clinical trials) lecturer knows i was absent from last friday's and today's lecture.

on top of that, i had failed to attend last thursday's prac project interview. i admit (i didnt admit to her lah.. nampak sah aku conteng arang kat muka sendiri!), it was my fault i didnt leave my house at 7.30am, instead, i left about 8am. one hour before my group's interview slot. cari pasal ke pe, liyana?! kau tau yang kau tak boleh make it if you go out at 8am. kau tau yang pastinya ada highway jam kat sengkang tu!

so yeah, there was a massive jam. one that even i didnt exactly anticipate - the bus was caught in it upon entering TPE. get it? at the entrance of TPE! imagine there and tampines interchange! how far can it get??!! and it was around 8.30 +/- am. so i had to sms my groupmate that i wouldnt be able to make it on time, and was likely to miss the interview. finally.. i reached tampines around 9.50 +/- am. lama kan? and dont think i wasnt upset.

ok, back to me and my lecturer:

so just now, after tutorial, i apologised to her (i had apologised to her on that interview day, but the time wasnt right - she was rushing to take attendance of the next group). she asked me why i was late. i said there was a massive jam. was there an accident? no, i didnt see an accident. i remember seeing on the 'noticeboard' that there was 'massive jam at pasir ris dr 12'.

and then, she confronted me, about my missing lectures. like, baru sekarang nak datang mintak maaf, when you got friday and today. yet, you were absent on both days. (she didnt say that exactly lah..) wah, dalam hati: camne dia tahu..? i was taken aback, alright. i could only say, yes, it was my mistake.

one student, she was on mc, and she's done the interview on friday.. (like, i got no valid excuse and i even missed lecture or didnt take the initiative to see her on friday or earlier today.. bad girl, me!) i could've been more lenient... what do you think i should do? i could mark you as absent (for that interview) and give you zero..

in my head, a sentence was forming: i am ready to accept the appropriate punishment..

then, she started to arrange with me the time i could take the interview.. this thursday.

finally, i said, thank you.. for your patience. i couldnt come up with a better word. patience?? still thinking of a more accurate, appropriate word.

she just smiled. i couldnt interpret what she was thinking.

i think, im on the verge of becoming a black-listed student in her book. better buck up, liyana~ you shouldnt miss any more lectures!

by the way, it turns out that students have to sign their attendance for ddct lectures. this procedure started last friday. oh.. kay.. *sedih jugak sbb takde orang beritahu.. tapi salahkan diri sendiri ah..*

of all things >-<

her friend says: ante tenggah istihara tentang apa ada org meresik ke
she says: hehe.... i wish!
she says: hehe
she says: tak ah
she says: istikharah ni boleh untuk mcm2 benda kan...
she says: so it's not about ade orang merisik
she says: huhu~
her friend says: yelah tau usik je mana tau kan
her friend says: kawan kita nikah dulu
she says: hehehe
she says: boleh jadi
she says: amiin~~
she says: hehehehehe
her friend says: ish ada org Tak sabar tu
she says: ape jek!
her friend says: seboK eh, if u busy Tak Yah reply continue ur work
she says: sebenarnye, kite tgh tgk cerita 'the craft'
her friend says: dah dia cakap boleh jugak dan amin kan sekali macam Tak sabar gitu
she says: hahahahaha
she says: boleh sabar...
she says: byk perkara perlu dibereskan sebelum kite nak masuk gerbang pernikahan
her friend says: memang ah tu sebab pernikahan walaupon hati inginkanyA tapi ana belum sampai menjadi wanita soleha impian ana. supayA tidak menjadi beban atau fitnah utk suami meneruskan jihad mereka
she says: huhu... wah~ berfalsafah sey~
her friend says: malu kita mana ada seorg yg banYak kekurangan
her friend says: masih mencari redaNYA dan cuba menjadi lebih baik
her friend says: insyAllah ia akan menjadi kenYataan tahun ini
her friend says: k ah... ana penat baru balik sebenarnYa bila nampak personal msg ante tu yg tertarik nak tegur
her friend says: assalamu alaikum wrb
her friend says: tc ana tido dulu ye
she says: okay
she says: ws

I wanna be Better!

there's a friendly match with NUS at NUS tomorrow. im thinking of going. hmmm...

and i managed to drag my lazy feet to tuesday's training -

my first time sparring after soo many months.

for your information, we cannot wear spectacles during sparring. not are we allowed earrings, studs, necklace, bracelet, hairpins and rings.. as for hairband, girls are encouraged to use a 'soft' one.

and to tell you the truth, not wearing specs during sparring really makes me insecure. like, i cant see enough. my vision now is worse than months ago. and with the IVP coming in march, i expect my vision to be worse, if not the same, as today.

but... i dont want to wear contact lenses.. scares me, man! eye infection, fungus and whatnots. plus, i only intend to wear them when i spar.. so for the rest of the days or weeks or months, the contact lens box is gonna lay somewhere among my stuff, alone, collecting dust! oh, poor thing..

-self-reflection mode-

i found myself getting lazier and lazier to attend trainings. in the graph depicting my attendance in 1st year and 2nd year, it shows a steep line going downwards.. and it's not rising back up, yet.

questioning myself, why arent you excited about tkd anymore? werent you the one who says that it is a platform to keep yourself fit, coz if not, you dont see yourself exercising those hands and legs?

ironically, when i successfully pushed myself to training, i felt good. good to be back. good to be 'revising' or improving this and that. i especially like it if that day got not so many people. yet, at the same time, i felt particularly frustrated and helpless (and blaming myself) if my kicks/posture are wrong, definitely way below my belt level.

well, that's because you skip training so much, liyana! and that is why your skills are like that!

so, isnt it time for you to buck up? dont you wanna learn the proper way? dont you wanna be good at it? you need practice, more of them! you know you do! and if you are so lazy to do anything about it, why dont you just quit?!

but i dont want to quit. another half of me wants to, though. (because of some reasons. maybe i'll share with you one day.)

for now, im hanging on. i think what is motivating me is the team temasek jacket. i want my jacket back! well, not that i'll be getting the exact same jacket that i wore last year.

you see, there's 'Temasek Polytechnic' sewn at the back of the jacket. unfortunately, it didnt occur to me to check the jacket thoroughly when i collected it. days (or few weeks, i think) after the competition, i returned it to the tkd captain. so that he can help me exchange for a new one. but he never did. hmmm... sabar je.. sabar je.. so now, im still waiting.

this year's IVP is on the 1st and 2nd of march. and my team still hasnt practised much on our pattern. and as for myself, im soooo not ready for sparring competition. arghh..! seram sangat2! i cant do back-thrust spontaneously. no confidence, mah~

yup. that's why im lacking: confidence; since i dont have enough practice, as compared to my tkd mates.

confidence is very important in any sports. and you dont just obtain it anywhere, anytime. after you got the skills, and after you use that skills, then you gain it.

hmmm... oh ya, i missed the january 6th grading. not enough time to practise the grading pattern, plus i was sick. haiz~~ hopefully, i can make it for the april one.

here's the pattern that my team is doing:

below is NTU team doing 'chil-jang' at the IVP NTU Open (pattern) 2006. they're damn goOd! what you're gonna see is an example of excellent execution - powerful, strong, and the same time, smooth~

Menghafal Quran ni sama ada mendapat Syafaat atau Laknat.. *

*guLP*

Ya Allah.. Masukkanlah kami dalam golongan orang-orang yang beruntung..

"Kemudian Kitab itu Kami wariskan kepada orang-orang yang
Kami pilih di antara hamba-hamba Kami, lalu di antara mereka ada yang mengania-
ya diri mereka sendiri dan di antara mereka ada yang pertengahan dan diantara
mereka ada (pula) yang lebih dahulu berbuat kebaikan dengan izin Allah. Yang
demikian itu adalah karunia yang amat besar. "

surah Faathir: 32 **

*dipetik daripada kata-kata Kowries 0706 dalam artikel 'Kisah Histeria di Pusat Tahfiz' bertarikh 2 Januari 2008. http://www.iluvislam.com/v1/readarticle.php?article_id=822

** Yang dimaksud dengan "orang yang menganiaya dirinya sendiri" ialah orang yang lebih banyak kesalahannya daripada kebaikannya, dan "pertengahan" ialah orang-orang yang kebaikannya berbanding dengan kesalahannya, sedang yang dimaksud dengan "orang-orang yang lebih dahulu dalam berbuat kebaikan" ialah orang-orang yang kebaikannya amat banyak dan amat jarang berbuat kesalahan.

i miss talking about religion. or about issues.. regarding life, current affairs, society, religious practices, philosophy, environment, nature, the future, history.

i miss indulging myself with ilmu. you know what i mean? ilmu, ilmu, ilmu!

i know damn well that what i learn in sch is ilmu, but no, no... what i really miss is ilmu agama.. belajar something for the sake for belajar something. ilmu that im familiar with.. more depth.. more width..

ilmu that can widen my perspective, stretch my mind, teach me to be more wise..

i need some scholarly discussions.. more of them. urgh!

and im really really grateful there's usrah. with my NI mates, and thfz mates.. although i missed two recent ones, 1 NI, 1 thfz..

now, usrahs and majlis ilmu (however informal, with my friends) seem more important than whatever trainings and ALPs. yupz.

Munajat oleh Rabbani

Tuhan
Kubisikkan kerinduan
Keinsafan
Pengharapan

Tuhan
Kubisikkan kerinduan
Keinsafan
Pengharapan

Tuhan
Kusembahkan pengorbanan
Membuktikan kecintaan

Bisikanku untuk-Mu
Munajatku mohon restu
Semoga cintaku bukan palsu
Pada desiran penuh syahdu
Gelombang lautan rinduku

Tuhan
Kubisikkan kerinduan
Keinsafan
Pengharapan

Tuhan
Kusembahkan pengorbanan
Membuktikan kecintaan

Munajatku dalam syahdu
Merindui maghfirah Mu
Mardhiah Mu dalam restu
Harapan tulusnya hatiku

Ku rindukan pimpinan Mu
Keagungan Mu dalam doaku
Kebesaran pada qudrat Mu
Ia membina ruhaniku

Tuhan
Kubisikkan kerinduan
Keinsafan
Pengharapan

Tuhan
Kusembahkan pengorbanan
Membuktikan kecintaan

Ujian kepahitan
Di dalam perjuangan
Padanya ada kemanisan
Ketenangan dan kebahagiaan
Padanya syurga idaman

Munajatku dalam syahdu
Merindui Maghfirah Mu
Mardhiah Mu dalam restu
Harapan tulusnya hatiku

Kurindukan pimpinan Mu
Keagungan Mu dalam doaku
Kebesaran pada Qudrat Mu
Ia membina ruhaniku

Tuhan
Kubisikkan kerinduan
Keinsafan
Pengharapan

Tuhan
Kusembahkan pengorbanan
Membuktikan kecintaan

i asked her about solat taqwiyatul hifz - is there a dalil for it?

she answered me in arabic, and immediately i realised she wasnt answering my question directly; she was telling me something else.

she knows.

"cara menguatkan hafalan...... sebenarnya... orang yang menghafal quran.... tak
boleh buat maksiat... sebab ilmu tu cahaya.. cahaya Allah tu tak diberikan pada
orang-orang maksiat.. penting bagi orang yang menghafal al-Quran buat solat
taubah.... lazimkan..."

that's more or less the gist of it, that i can remember.

i was suddenly solemn. another sign.

terkedu. but i wasnt in the right place and moment to reveal my feelings. tahan dulu k?

now, i can think and reflect.

it's still on my mind.

thank you, for the naseehah.. and thank You, for thru this incident i know You love me..

childhood songs

i'd like to start with nasyid.

ingat dulu2... (below 7 year oldnye memory ah.. so, quite fade) time arqam, me dgr nasyid2 by nadamurni and other kumpulan2 nasyid yang ditubuhkan under arqam.. ade yang 'ummiku sayang' album tu - i finally found out that they're called Soutus Sofwa (but i dunno if tu nama yang original atau nama baru selepas pembubaran arqam).

dulu2 tu, kite dgr kaset ah... sedap2 jugak lagunye. most of the cassettes dah tak tahu ke mana.. but few, me tak tahu camne nak dgr sbb the hi-fi system is faulty (which has the cassette player).

so, bila ada imeem ni, me tercari2 lagu2 lama yang pernah me dgr dulu..

ade satu lagu.. dlm album 'ummiku sayang'.. (there are others: dengarlah sayang, adik-adikku sayang) i really dont know sape or tajuk ape.. tapi liriknye asyik terngiang2.

selamat tinggal ayah dan ibu.. izinkan kami pergi dahulu.. mengharap restu juga do'amu.. kami pergi mencari ilmu..



=)

lagu from nadamurni:




and i think, the first moment that triggered back my 'memory of songs' was during a Saff 'R Us session kat perdaus hong kah. mase tu, tgh ade group discussion, then one of the brothers bukak satu lagu ni on his laptop. bila dgr je, terus hati ni berbisik, "eh! lagu tu! i had listened to it long time ago..!" mcm curious giler nak tahu sape nyanyi, tajuk lagu, mane nak dapatkan lagu tu..

when i asked the bro, lagu2 yang dia hantar salah uh.. tapi takpe, that was when i discovered 'selawat atasmu' by nowseeheart, and 'sa'ir' by, tak tahu sape.

i only know it starts with 'solla alaikallahu ya adnani' - tapi kan ade byk versi..

cari punye cari.. i found http://www.downloadnasyid.blogspot.com/ it was some time (a loOng time for me tho') before i found album 'untukmu rasulullah'.

i have satu cd 'untukmu rasulullah'.. tapi nombor 2 nye.. lagu tu dan beberape lagi lagu (yang pasti me recognise) ade kat cd nombor 1.

so.... click, click, click on the songs kat album tu, akhirnya:



oh, another nasyid that i had been painstakingly searching:





(to be continued)

lemme just ramble on...!!

k, i've LOTs to say... maklumlah, berminggu2 tak update kan... so, terpendam je kat pikiran ni..

TERM TESTS ARE OVER...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ya Allah.... betapa leganya hati ni~ rasenye, this is the greatest relief ever since i entered year 2. imagine that!

it wasn't a sweet ending, as usual.. nevertheless, knowing that tomorrow's the start of term break (albeit 3 projects at hand).. is hart-warming!

and... i dare to say that i did put quite an effort this week. alhamdulillah.. terima kasih Tuhan..! although... my spirits were going down, down, down as the last day of test (that is today) loomed.. susah betul nak maintain semangat kite untuk belajar kan? haa... sebab tu lah my last paper tak alright sgt.. sebab start belajar pukul 11pm+ the night before.. tu pon tak concentrate and info tak masuk sgt, sbb dah ngantuk. and, esok paginya baru sambung.. and my cpu agak slow (coz of the semangat turon and the distraction 'cepat lah habis..!!!')..

looking on the bright side, i was able to do bpharm calculations!!!!

oh yeah, have i ever told you that i find calculations hard? i cringe whenever there's calculations question.. dari first year sampai sekarang. yup, most of the time i dont understand the question.. and i dunno how to start solving the problem. hmm.. i wonder where my math power has gone to. *need more practice*

next!

aqila dapat 217 for her PSLE!! marha~ marha!! best kan? the highest kat sekolahnye (madr aljunied) is 240. dua orang. dua2 perempuan. gO GiRLsss~!!

and then, suddenly i thought.. "hmm... klw dulu aku ambil PSLE.. rasanye aku dapat berapa eh..?" talk about what if's!

another good news.. although agak terlambat is.... kamaliah got 3rd in her class!! yeSsA~ i know i've said this, but let me say it again: im PROUD of you, mate! *flashing my big toothy smile*

cerita lain:

1. i just discovered this website: http://www.iluvislam.com/ yesterday.. check it out gals! it was created by muslim lads from malaysia. and what's impressive that they, and their comm members, are students in overseas university!! muslims + malay + malaysia + europe + university =
future muslim intellectuals, insha Allah!!

oh, and what you get there:

Di sini anda berpeluang untuk menikmati pelbagai hiburan alternatif, info
universiti, koleksi artikel seantero dunia, perbincangan ilmiah, video islamik,
tv streaming, politik, perubatan dan kesihatan, cinta dan remaja, dakwah dan
jemaah, nama-nama anak anda, soal-jawab ustaz, ...dan banyak lagi!!

2. i was given the opportunity to help a sis mend a booth at masjid an-na'eem family carnival on 2 dec 2007. this sister is the woman behind http://www.nour.sg/ (promo ni!) and mewah apparel (located somewhere in bukit batok).. k, yang me betul2 nak promote ni is her designing service for customised badges, corporate stationeries, shirts (dry-fit), posters, etc etc etc.

and fyi, she was the main designer for Ramadhan Rocks 2007. yeah!

so, i know her from there. sehari sebelum RR'07 baru dapat bertemu 4 mata (or shall i say, 8? coz both of us wear specs. heh.) dgn Kak Hairani. your hard work is very much appreciated kak! =)

k, actually, what i want to share is....

remember i said i hadnt bought myself a gift in one of the previous posts?

pada hari tu lah, i got myself the Ultimate Birthday Gifts (macam betOl je ehh..). nak tahu ape? oh, lain kali kite cerita k? i want to post the pictures here too.. buat kenangan. *nak ambil gmbr then upload, tu yang leceh uh*

3. i've found some nostalgic songs.. you know, the songs that you heard/listened to when you're a kid. then you never heard it again.. but somehow, that memory is in the back of your head, and quite suddenly, one day, the rhythm just pops up, and you find yourself humming the tune, and if more lucky, some bits of the lyrics. but! you forgot what the song title is.. or who the singer is..

so, thanks to http://www.imeem.com/, i was able to retrieve these memories back!

amazing how 'playing music on your web' has evolved! just few years ago, i had wasted time and energy finding the html code to put song(s) in my blog.. even more ma fan if you have to 'upload' (i dunno what's the best word) the song of choice, like, manually, coz it wasnt available in any music codes sites. or even find the html for the music player.

now, everything's easy. the websites are there (music hosting webbies, eh? multiply.. flashfetish..).. all you have to do is upload the music (or just find it, like at imeem) and copy and paste the code. and voila!

videos also... youtube.. veoh.. haiz~ teringat dulu.. sedangkan nak letak lagu punyelah seksa, apatah lagi videos!

4. recently, i've been to 2 weddings.. got to see different perspectives... coming up, this sunday, my alsagoff senior, mariam hashim, is getting married!!

hmm... majlis2 nikah ni made me thinking, plus daydreaming, about my own wedding, calon suami (oops!).. hidup sebagai isteri.. bernikah muda.. even nama anak. what i prefer and what i dont. AND, the ultimate question whether i will live long enough to even get engaged. hah!

k, cakap pasal nama...

5. Mujahid ---- sedapkan bunyinya? with huruf 'jim' and 'ha' yang tebal.. bila sebut word tu.. seolah2 terlambang keteguhan, kesungguhan.. i had come to realise the depth of the word 'mujahadah' only this year.. around ramadhan.. when i reflected back on all the tribulations, emotional, spiritual, that i am facing.. and the word 'mujahid' appealed to me.

and kebetulan, masa hari raya yang baru lepas ni, i found out that my anak sedara (who's 21 years old) namanye muhammad mujahid. wow!

but i prefer simply, Mujahid.

another word that has been on my mind for quite some time is 'Dzulkifli'. yes, i prefer it spelled with 'dz'. sebutan kena tepat! i had thought of that name/word when i reflected on my personality. sometimes, i noticed that i was/is a 'pak sanggup'.. sanggup gi jauh to send a form to a friend, sanggup tunggu lama2, sanggup buat itu ini when nobody else did.. hmm... why did i go to the extra mile eh? kenapa menyusahkan diri eh? i remember my dad mentioned this behaviour of mine to me.. tak ingat lah bila.. but it kinda stuck in my head.

and i was reminded of makna 'Dzulkifli' dalam buku cerita kanak2 25 rasul (tak pasti colour biru atau bijau punye)... 'yang mempunyai kesanggupan'..

anyway,

Raihan and 'Ibaadurrahmaan' pon mcm sedap eh nama? tapi im not sure of the latter's meaning ah.. 'ibad tu, is it 'worshipper' or 'worshipping'..

klw nama perempuan plak.. hmm... belum dapat inspirasi..

6. it's been a long time since i write a sensible, mature post about issues. serious stuff.

hmm.. maybe it's my lack of knowledge. but more possibly, because expressing myself and my opinions in writing isn't my strength.

and yes... it's been a long time since i read something substantial. masuk internet, baca blog orang.. suratkhabar pon, BH je.. but not-so-heavy news je..

haiz~~ apa nak jadi! gotta change, gottachange gottachange~~




ape lagi nak share eh?

oh, another webbie: http://www.islamicevents.sg/ where events/talks/seminars/classes are advertised. it's new.. so spread about it k? so more people will know about this wonderful service the web creators offer!

let's support the efforts by our brothers and sisters! with the IT knowledge that we have.. must utilise it optimally for da'wah, and for the ummah!

Sabar di Hati

&

Syukur pada Wajah

1615hrs

my sister bought Indulge's tiramisu for me... that's very thoughtful of her.. thanks, aqila!

i had never tried tiramisu before... and i had been eyeing, sort of, the tiramisu from Indulge since the shop opened few years ago. lama eh? tak mampu ah... plus, tak sampai hati nak keluarkan duit to buy a small thing (in this case, food) at a price at which i can buy 2 muffins instead.

so, when i opened the fridge last night, and then, opened the box.. ooh! it's tiramisu~~

anyway, other than that, she bought my fav 'sweets' ah basically.. 2 pastries from Indulge, and chocolate fudge slice and peanut butter waffle from Prima Deli. *suker, suker, suker!*


and thank you, for those who wished me...

hmmm...

i'd like to think that i shouldnt expect anything.
and thus, i dont expect anything.
kena didik diri ah..
coz it's just one of the many days.
so there's no need for anyone to remember.
even myself, to an extreme extend.

nevertheless, i've yet to buy you anything..
just a du'a with the deepest hopes, and earnest feelings..
yang penting, you're happy k?
be strong, girlfriend!
^_____^