starting school...

my first day of school...this monday... can wait! for the first week, first years dont have to attend lab sessions and tutorials. but lectures are a must! so, this monday, there's only 1 class - communication skills for applied science 1 (CSAS1)..from 1300-1500..dah tu balik! (actually, CSAS1 ni tutorial..tp kita wajib hadir..)

tuesday plak ada PC orientation...tk ingat plak PC tu stands for what...from 1200-1400..

wednesday baru ada lectures... *alahai~~~*

nak kata, my timetable blm termasuk electives... n i have 1-hour breaks...not 2 or even 3 hours =( it's ok... then, two days i go home at 6pm, 2 days at 4pm and 1 day at 5pm..

there are 100 students in BMS course...so 1 class has 25 students...but my class ada 23 people je..maybe lagi dua tu masuk polytechnic lain kot. our care person a.k.a mentor is miss Ler Siok Ghee (mcm weird gitu kan namanye??????? i like her though!)

skrg me dah agak familiar dgn bangunan2 yg ade kt tp...thanks to the orientations that i've been to. anyway, the orientations were...GEREK! GREAT! (excluding the not-so-good stuff ah..) i really really want to write about the orientations.. but tgk dulu lah ye... if i have all the time and space to myself.. i'll try to write a complete story..

pasal CCAs plak, next week some clubs/groups will set up their booths.. me tgh pening pikir2 mane satu me nak masuk...applied science studies club mcm best, tp students' union pon mcm best, taekwando pon sama... chinese drums pon bagus jugak.. production crew pon bermanfaat.. adventure club nmpk mcm gerek gitu..experiential learning facilitators pon begitu jugak... aiyo~~~~~~~

and of course, i've found some friends =) ok ar.... *oh! makanan yg dijual kt kantin yang ber-aircon pon berpatutan!* but the rules, esp about MC and Leave of Absence (LOA), and plagiarism..fuyo! tk boleh main2 sey!

dah tu, satu teacher beritahu kita (my classmates n i) yang memang, MEMANG masa first year, students are going to get stressed! ohhhhhhhhhh noooooooooooo.... *moaning loudly*

i really, really, really REALLY REALLY hope i can cope................ *feels like crying..or better, running away from all these!*

what's so good about me??

triplets says:
kak liyana masih awk jadi head prefect bez tau skng boring jgk tau no activity!!

Khaulah al-Azwar says:
hahahahaha..biar betik! masa ana jadi prefect, mana kita buat activity?? masa prisma tu adalah....

Khaulah al-Azwar says:
i tot prisma adekan kempen dwibahasa (english n arab)...tkkn tkde activity kot?

Khaulah al-Azwar says:
competitions ke...

Khaulah al-Azwar says:
i tot budak menengah 4 yang uruskan kedai games? (we were talking about mini pasar amal, n zafirah said her class will be running the games shop..)

triplets says:
de lah tp boring... ustazah2 sume ckp!!! cikgu suhana 24\7 puji awk!!! (eh! betul ke UST SUHANA puji me? sejak bila hiya in 'puji2' mode?? setahu me, hiya suka criticise!)

Khaulah al-Azwar says:
yeah right! mcm betul je! ..............errr.... apa ust suhana kata?

Khaulah al-Azwar says:
ana nk tahu jugak... (i felt that i need to know coz maybe what she said is a true reflection of my character..or maybe not..)

triplets says:
this yr prefect and ajk prisma no amik gmbr ame2... sume boring!!! (tkkn pasal tk ambik gmbr je, semua jadi boring??)

triplets says:
cikgu kate korng ume jd cam nor liyana pandai baek klw kwn tk phm die tlng... susah nk carik pljr cam die!! (hmmm...let me tell you this: im a pessimist, keyakinan terhadap diri sendiri agak rendah tahapnye..so, i really dont think im pandai, baik - ick!... n senang nk cari org macam me.. even better people also can be found easily!)

Khaulah al-Azwar says:
mungkin diorg tknk kot?

triplets says:
bkn sume dissapointed!!

Khaulah al-Azwar says:
ish! biar betik ust suhana ckp mcm gitu... betul ke zafirah? ana serious ni...korg jgn nk tambah2 plak (yelah...manelah tau, budak2 nie tmbh2 gula...konon nk impress kita, padahal facts tak betul!)

triplets says:
sir kate sir blng sume keluarge sir abt ur o level result! sir bangge sal awk!! (wah! ye ke?? haiz~~ mcm tk layak gitu dpt 'publicity' sebegitu! terharu hamba..)

triplets says:
btol actually bnyk lg cikgu ckp tk ingat!! (hmmm...i wonder what she actually said...you know, im also not sure why i care so much of cikgu suhana's opinion...maybe because her criticisms are worth it??)

Khaulah al-Azwar says:
sir mana plak ni??

Khaulah al-Azwar says:
sir kamar?

triplets says:
yes

Khaulah al-Azwar says:
ish~~ pencapaian ana tklah bagus sgt...ana percaya, batch nirwana and huda asor, mesti ada org dapat 5/6/7 A's.. (ya, ya..so correct..i think someone WILL get better o level grades than me, perhaps even break the record!!)

triplets says:
enta la eh... tp kte tau setiap ustazah and ustaz bangge sal awk!! (aiyo~~ apa aje yg aku dah buat..! but i hope the teachers remember all the good things about nor liyana noor mohammad)

triplets says:
ari msk surat khabar sey!!

Khaulah al-Azwar says:
except for my IRK paper..

Khaulah al-Azwar says:
ler........tkkn masuk suratkhabar pun satu sekolah kecoh??!

triplets says:
btol tat day sape entah blng oi krng kak liyana msk suratkhabar tau!! kecoh marfua bwk paper sume nk ngok!!! cikgu pon ngok!! (alamak! ni baru setakat kt advertisement! 0_o~~)

Khaulah al-Azwar says:
cikgu suhana?

triplets says:
yep!!

Khaulah al-Azwar says:
aiyooo

triplets says:
ustazah saniah katekan eh klw liyana msh ade mezti bgs!!! ******* tk cam liyana... bertanggung jwb!! (eeeeeeehhhhh?? betul ke UST SANIAH ckp mcm gitu?? tpkan, tk baik pulak hiya compare my junior with me...mungkin dia ada keistimewaan sendiri...n i am NOT that 'bertanggung jawab'...or am i???)

Khaulah al-Azwar says:
e'eh! ust saniah ckp gitu???? tp ******* tk tahu lah kan?? klw tidak, nanti dia kecik hati

triplets says:
tk tau!!


n so....i wonder if i left any legacy in alsagoff...n if i did, was it a memorable one? a significant one? will it remain in the hearts n minds of the alsagoff family? coz i know i didnt contribute much...n i know i didnt give them my all...n i know i wasnt the best. ;(

update: maybe i care so much of what cikgu suhana said about me because from what i know, she doesnt think i potray a good character and attitude as a prefect, a leader and a top student as a whole... as some of you (my former classmates) might know, my attitude is somewhat...err..tk bagus sgt ar..esp my attitude towards studies and the teachers...dah lah me ni slack masa pelajaran sastera! pelajaran bahasa melayu pon..me selalu hantar homework lambat, or worse, tk hantar langsung!

so ya, that's why im curious whenever i heard students say that cikgu suhana praised me..mcm unbelievable!

im WHAT??! animated. realist.


See My Personal Dna Report


Mouse over any part of the box or strip to learn more about the traits that the colors represent.




comment: well, some parts of the report are true, some are not. (at least, to me..)

pause mode.

ahhhh...it's good to be writing here again..lots to tell but limited time and privacy to write.. so, now, it has passed midnight and the people in my house are sleeping..and im having the mood to write.

so.... school starts on april 24th. sch orientation is on april 20th & 21st. and TPSU's orientation 10-12 april.

i once wrote that im gonna be alone in TP, i.e. the only alsagoffian the.. hazimah's @ RP.. but now, i dont im gonna be ALONE, like, literally.. coz there will be other madrasah students who, insha ALLAH, are gonna be my TP mates...hehe =) i found out there's gonna be irsyadians, arabiah-ian(s) and maarifian(s).. not sure if there is any new mwtian too..

for the time being, im trying to find info on biomedical science and the related subjects such as biochemistry, histology, immunology, pathology..and other -logy.. a bit difficult though..i've tried woodlands regional library and pasir ris community library..but so far, i've borrowed only 2 books.

another problem is that....those science books that im trying to find and then read are obviously THICK..if not thick, then the fonts are small! ish~~ i dont like, i dont like, i dont like!! tapi, nampaknya, mulai sekarang aku kenalah sesuaikan diri dgn buku2 mcm tu.. -_-'

you know, i've been thinking..all this while, some people keep saying that im gonna be busy as a poly student.. poly life is gonna be busy, busy, busy... got no time.. limited time.. and those words are, frankly, poison to my ears. i dont think im gonna accept that fact anymore. im just so sick of being pessimistic!

yeah, yeah..i know that your intentions are good, people. and i know very well that the fact is quite - if not really - true. but i dont want the thought of it hinder my plans for other things... i dont want this 'busy' factor keep me from doing other activities... hmmm..

i've told you that i dont like teaching people, right? that i dont think im good at it? but it seems like im going to eat my words.

hmm.. right now, im teaching my younger cousin, preparing her for PSLE. and yesterday, my sister called to ask if i can teach the twins too! for PSLE! ... and i thought..."i'd like to help...but i lack expertise...i've no experience. that'll take a lot of commitment! that's take all my weekends!..what if i cannot cope?????? but i dont want to disappoint my aunt and my sister.."

ajar farah hari sabtu, petang. ajar haneesah n haseenah hari ahad, petang. then hari sabtu dan ahad, malam, pun ajar orang... bila nk gi tahfiz???????? mcmane dgn ahlulquranpts?????????? mcmane klw ada projek, assignment???????????????

s.a.c.r.f.i.c.e.
s.a.c.r.i.f.i.c.e.
s.a.c.r.i.f.i.c.e.........................

and my dad's like, "oh good! PSLE is very important..help them.." you know, that sort of thing..even though he does question if i have the time..if i can cope.. it clearly seems that he wants me to take that job.

and take the job i did. my sis called again petang semalam. i didnt get enough time to think through. and so, im going to start teaching the twins this sunday.

i really hope i can make a difference.. *im just soooooo afraid ='(*

does anyone know.......?

**************************************

last saturday i went to my school annual function, the majlis ma'al hijrah. it was good to see the teachers and juniors.. cikgu ali and sir zain pon ada =D though it was wayyyy awkward talking to (or 'with'??) them.. there's this one kid..she's athirah banu's sister..namanya syahirah banu kalau tk silap... hehe.. dia kata, "awak ingat kita tk?"...the last time i went to school, she also said that. of course i didnt know who she was... (masa first time dia tanya tu)... i wasnt her mentor or anything.. so i looked at her name tag. and last saturday, i recognised her face but didnt remember her name... anyway, the point is, it's a bit weird coz i dont know her in the first place, and yet she knows me... bila nk balik tu, dia introduced me to her mum. and her mum said something like, "mereka/dia (athirah n syahirah/syahirah alone) asyik puji awak kt rumah.." and i was like, "astaghfirullah~~"...

really ah! what have i done to get this attention? is whatever that i was/have done sooo significant and marvellous to other people? *the attention is nice though, but im worried that i might become swollen-headed!!!*

i keep saying to myself,"this popularity will die off, liyana. so dont expect anything whenever you visit the school." "skrg, bila kau lalu je, diorang cakap "eh! kak liyana", "kak liyana lah..!", salam kau, tapi lama2 pelajar2 tkkn kenal kau lagi.jadi tk usahlah kau mengharapkan pujian dan sanjungan orang sampai bila2!!"

alamak! dah pukul 0109H! i got to go! dah malam sgt nie... insha Allah, esok me nk tgk Ice Age 2...yeah! =)

medical check-up

every TP student is required to do a medical check-up to ensure that he/she is fit for his/her course.

and so, i went to raffles medical group @ causeway point yesterday morning, with my mum. i didnt expect that there would be many people at the place. as it turned out, there were quite a number of teenagers waiting for their turn to see the doctor. and as i was waiting for my turn, more teenagers arrived..

ada pelajar2 semangat bawak TP's enrolment guide. ada yang bawak dgn envelopenye sekali! fuyo~~ from what i saw n heard, those teenagers are TP-ians too..

actually, the medical check-up made me excited! really! i mean, i have never done any medical check-up, and i've been wanting to do it (coz i want to find out if i have any serious illnesses or something..)..so when this opportunity came, i was happy indeed!

i thought the doctor will check my whole body or something, but no. what happened was that a nurse (i think) called my name to check my weight and height, and to check for eye-vision and color-blindness. thanks to this check-up, i finally know that my height is 1.54m (i cant believe it! im shooorrrt!!) and my weight is 43.9kg. and my bmi is 18-point-something.. which means my weight is suitable for my height. yey!

unfortunately, as i've written somewhere in/on this blog before, my vision is becoming worst (or 'worse'??).. i definitely have to change my lens.ASAP! and thank goodness, im not color-blind =)

BUT! the most yucky, disgusting, unforgettable thing that i had to was..... GUESS WHAT????????????????????????????

urine check! which means i had to fill a small plastic bottle with my own u****..!! oh my god!! i was like..huh?? oh no! why do i have to do this stupid thing???!!

err...it was my first time, you know. so i was feeling stupid, embarrassed. and i didnt feel like u****ting..(urgh! writing this story here makes me sick! but i have to, so you know what it's like)..however, miraculously, my brain must have 'merangsang' my u****ry bladder, so there was little problem. ok, im not going to tell all the disgusting details here. figure it yourself! yang pastinya, when i got out of the small cubicle (it's in the clinic itself), i washed my hands like i've never washed before! really disgusting man!! oh! another minus point is that there was no water in the cubicle, only tissue. can you imagine???????????? yuck! yuck! yuck!

when i got home, i washed all my clothes, tudung and stokin... cuma kasut je belum cuci. unfortunately, i was able to eat my lunch at a coffeeshop without being too paranoid about my hands (yelah, kan me dah cuci dgn sabun! satu kt clinic, lagi satu kt kedai makan tu!)...

oh! after raffles medical group, i went to SATA @ woodlands civic centre to do a chest x-ray. haa! kt situ lah baru ramai sangat org! ada pelajar2 dari nyp, np, tp.. tk tau plak klw sp & rp nye budak ade kt situ..

hehe..pengalaman nk ambil x-ray ok ar... me kena pakai robe color maroon.. dahlah lengannye pendek, jadi me kena sembunyikan tangan bawah tudung..i thought x-ray kena baring, rupa2nye, kena berdiri sambil sandar kt satu board nie. sekejap je x-ray.. no fuss, no whatever. yang paiseynye, me kena bukak tudung masa nk x-ray tu..dah lah orang yg uruskan lelaki cina..tp nasib baik tk kena bukak serkup!

anyway, hidup nie memang tk sunyi dari ujian, ye tak? mana2 kite keluar je, mesti ada ujian, fitnah. fitnah ape??? fitnah mata lah!!

ish~~ me tk suke sey... yelah, bila ada rajul, me kena 'behave'... really cant be myself...really cant concentrate. me nk stretch kaki pon tk boleh..mak kata "hisy~ behave yourself..kan makcik tu punye anak ade kt sebelah.."... ok, ok... but the thing is, i dont give a damn about that stranger. bukannye me flirting pon! tkkn me nk duduk kt situ macam batu! n paham2 je lah, me klw duduk, tk boleh nk diam..asyik nk gerak je..

kt SATA tu lagi ramai org, ramai rajul! masya Allah~~~ ni baru kt SATA. bukan kt polytechnic! klw kt polytechnic nanti macamane?????????????????????? lagi byk ujian...hari2 kena uji.......hari2 ada fitnah mata....... Ya Allah~~~~~~~ berikanlah aku kekuatan!

ish~ me takut ar...me risau klw me akan terkena panahan 'cinta monyet' masa kt polytechnic nanti~~ risau sgt2! me pon risau klw my haya' level berkurangan bila kt sana nanti... me risau me gagal jaga akhlak...

if i want to be myself, as you all know, 'myself' is gila2, happy2, straightforward.. tp, how can i be myself with rajul around, when 'myself' may potray me as a girl with low-akhlak?!

ok.ok. me dah penat menulis...sampai sini je lah cerita hari ni..

oh! medical report akan siap within 3-4 days...so, in the meantime, im gonna fill all those enrolment forms, and then next week, im gonna submit them with the medical report.. =)

little cousins

hey there, people!

one school holiday week has come n gone. and i've got pictures for you to feast your eyes on =) i mean, the pictures are not really a big deal. i just want to show them to you.

the whole week has been ok. lots of watching tv and eating. i stayed at my aunt's house for 6 days straight! just me, aqila, nenek and irfaan. ibu, farah, sabrina n farzana pergi pekan baru, so aqila n i were supposed to accompany nenek, who was a bit ill - headache mostly. irfaan mmglah boleh jaga nenek, tapi nenek tk lah keseorangan sangat...

niwei, farah, sabrina n farzana are my favourite cousin *smiles* irfaan plak...err.. entah eh. tk berbual dgn dia pon! nk kata, keluarga arwah cik mamat (my uncle) is my favourite relative ar...

yang kt sebelah ni namanye nur farzana. dia K1 tahun ni.. gempal kan? hehe...gempal2 pon, attitudenye cute! hahaha~~ klw berbual, siap gunekan 'i' 'you'! me pon terikut2 jugak! ramai org cakap yg farzana mirip arwah cik mamat.. mata, muka.. yep! nak kata, dia penghibur hati dlm keluarga..me pon suka main2 dgn dia..hehe~

ok, yang sebelah farzana is nur sabrina. primary 3. me ingat lagi..ada satu incident tu, masa tu sabrina masih baby lagi, me pulak 7-8 tahun gitu.. me tgh 'jaga' sabrina dlm bilik, n then, i must've let go of her or something, jadi sabrina jatuh! terhentak floor! fuyo~ menangis lah baby tu!! you know what i told ibu? "dia terjatuh sendiri.." aiya~ tknk bertanggungjawab eh, liyana? bohong lagi! kecik2 dah tipu! niwei, ibu tk suspect me..*rasa guilty lah pulak skrg nie*














*the entry stops here*

any schools in mind??

i have an announcement to make:

i've been accepted to TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC, in BIOMEDICAL SCIENCE DIPLOMA COURSE!

before you think that im rolling off my chair, jumping up and down, all-excited, well, let me tell you this: YOU ARE WRONG.

from the day i heard the machine-operated voice (from MOE hotline) telling me where im posted to until now, im still not looking forward to start my life as a biomed sci dip student. BUT, im sure getting excited thinking about all the CCAs and activities that i can join in TP!

you see, my whole 10 years in alsagoff never involved any CCAs. well, excluding dozens of competitions that i had participated lah..and the short stint as a member of the so-called art-and-craft club..! the school had tried to start a few CCAs and maintain them, but it just didnt work: limited time, limited people with real talents and enthusiasm!

so, the fact that a polytechnic life will give me loads of chances to try new stuffs is what is keeping me happy and contented.

yeah...i guess im trying to make myself happy - distracted - by thinking about CCAs... and not thinking about the subjects that im going to learn for the next 3 years and about the bi'ah and ikhtilat...

oh! let me tell you what i had actually picked and put in the JAE form: (choice of courses)

1. biomedical science (SP)
2. biomedical science (NP)
3. biomedical science (TP)
4. molecular biotechnology (NYP)
5. chemical and pharmaceutical technology (NYP)
6. bioelectronics (SP)
7. business administration (SP)
8. business studies (NP)
9. applied food science and nutrition (TP)
10. accountancy (SP)
11. accounting and finance (TP)
12. tampines junior college (science)

hmmm...as i looked at this list again, i kinda realised that i would be happier and satisfied if i had got into any of the 4th-12th choices... the first three was, i had to admit, for the sake of my parents. they want me to take biomed sci, they want me to be a doctor, or a scientist, "doktor hafizah"... while the 4th to the 11th choices, i chose them for my own self. i would even like to try business or accountancy.. they really sound and look interesting you know! something different from the science field. as for the 12th choice, TPJC...haha! it was nothing serious. it's not as if i really want to go to JC.. perhaps, of course, if there were a 'tutup aurat' JC, i would be vying for a spot! =p

hmmm...but if i were to go to a JC, i'd like to take the arts stream. unsuprisingly, my dad would want, or using a better word - "suruh", me to take the science stream...alahai~~~ it's just that economics, history and geography seem more attractive than triple science! and i surely dont want to memorize all the weird terms and names, plus the long and complicated facts! but, shh! im not going to tell that to my dad!

b.i.o.m.e.d.i.c.a.l. s.c.i.e.n.c.e. >> mmMmMmmm... bukanlah me tak nak langsung, atau tak minat langsung nk belajar dlm course tu... in fact, me dah siang2 pilih biomed sci in poly... maksud 'siang2' tu time menengah 3/4.. yelah, masa tu kononnya, suka sangat nk belajar science. nak jadi scientist, nk buat research, nk buat a 'breakthrough in the science world'...HAH! as if! tapi, lately (since late 2005).. i began to have doubts, second-thoughts about my all-this-time-good impression of the biomedical science field.. i began to question my real interest, which i think i have none.

and then again, maybe i wasnt excited about going to TP at first because i failed to get into SP or NP... TP sounds foreign to me. i havent been to its ground. i just didnt expect i will go there. not to worry though, the disappointment is wearing off. i dont care now.

my teachers expect me to pursue my studies in the religious field. i bet my relatives do too. because i would shine and do well in that area. because im a pearl too precious to be taken to the other sea (haha..im exaggerating now! jgn layan!)... well, simply said, i'll feel safer there.

so, im caught in the middle: nak sambung ukhrawi dulu ke duniawi? nak ikut cakap ayah ke cakap guru? diri sendiri plak mcmane?

solat istikharah? dah buat....tapi, tiba2 me terfikir: solat aku diterima ke????? entah2 solat aku tk ok, sebab tu smpi skrg masih blur2 lagi! haiz~~ atau mungkin aku sengaja buat2 tk tau, sedangkan sebenarnya Allah dah tunjukkan jalannya?!

jadi apakah jalan seterusnya? ke manakah harus aku melangkah?

thinking back, i dont want to go to KUIS, coz i worry that my friends will be overshadowed by me. i dont want to go to wak tanjong either, because of that same reason. maarif... well, klw masuk maarif, nanti options jurusan kt univesity terbata, unless i take extra subjects, which means sacrifices on time and money.

so, in polytechnic, i will be by myself. alone. for the first time in ten years. hazimah kt republic poly. walaupun kita berdua sahaja yg masuk poly, masing2 akan meniti kehidupan sendiri2... bukannya sama sekolah! i will start a new life there, i guess. make new impressions, make new friends, meet new people, face new challenges, face a new environment... i hope i can survive this and emerge victorious and successful at the of the day. we'll see...in 3-years' time.

of course, maybe i will regret the lack of knowledge in the religious field, thinking of what i would have gained and achieved if i had gone to KUIS...

sebenarnya, me nk belajar al-quran dan sunnah. pilihan kedua ialah dakwah, dan yg ketiga: tahfiz wal qiraat. klw ada double diploma lagi bagus. boleh me ambil perbankan islam, pengurusan perniagaan atau ekonomi kt KUIS.

oh! back to solat istikharah... selain solat istikharah, mmglah me ada berdoa... الدعاء سلاح المؤمن ... dan hati me dah terbukak nk terima polytechnic, ayah pon dah terbukak hati (klw tidak, ayah tk plan for me to go to polytechnic)....me pon asyik terfikir2 pasal polytechnic, walaupun kadang2 tu terfikir pasal KUIS plak....dari ini semua, me yakin polytechnic adalah pilihan Allah buat me..... klw poly bukan jawapannya, masakan me akan terfikir2 pasal poly, hati me lebih condong pada poly??? but i still pray, and pray, and pray..that im not making the wrong move. that i wont regret my decision later.


ok, as im writing this......... im sealing my final decision: im going to go for polytechnic.



"Ya Allah~ kuatkanlah diriku. jika ini jawapannya, maka tetapkanlah hatiku, jauhkanlah aku dari rasa ragu2, agar aku tidak berubah hati, agar pendirianku tidak goyah dgn kata2 orang lain. tetapi jika ini bukan jawapannya, tunjukkanlah aku jawapan yang sebenar dgn segera, ya Allah... kerana masa semakin singkat...aku takut, aku takut aku akan menyesal dan rugi kelak.... maka pimpinlah aku, ya Allah......."

i deserve that! (part2)

ISLAMIC RELIGIOUS KNOWLEDGE paper 1 - hmmm...i cant remember much about paper 1.. really. all i know is i didnt do very well in it. there were 4-8 questions, i think, that i had troubles figuring out the answers, or fishing out the answers from the depth of my head! maybe at some points, i created my own answers using my own logic and knowledge.

oh well, teachers and friends had told me to write the answers succinctly, straight-to-the-point, according to the questions. yeah, that's the main rule when you do the IRK papers. i dont know, maybe i did cross the line a bit and write unnecessary stuff, not that i would be aware of it, coz who knows which points are necessary, and which arent, to the examiners!

ISLAMIC RELIGIOUS KNOWLEDGE paper 2 - you know, i never did finish the IRK sec4 book. (fyi, there are 2 books, green - sec3 and blue - sec4). i didnt even touch the 4 caliphs part, let alone the umaiyyah and abbasiyah period. haha.. so i had to rely on my knowledge from my thick islamic history school book. the problem is, my school book covered more info than the IRK books. that was where the cofusion comes in; which info is in the IRK books and which isnt. mixed up!

needless to say, i was kind of panic on the night of the IRK exam. another minus point was that the exam was on the second day of hari raya!! so i brought my IRK book along with me on the first hari raya day. but there wasnt much privacy or time to read the book peacefully or memorize the facts. so in the end, it was only the morning of the exam that i was able to sit down and force the facts into my head, in approximately 5 hours! can you imagine memorizing 206 pages of info in 5 hours??? not that i managed to, of course. i didnt even get to re-read the 1st book too! so i only hoped that i wouldnt forget whatever i had learnt in the 1st book, hoped that my memory was still good.

anyway, suprisingly - again! - IRK paper 2 was a breeze. alhamdulillah~~ i wouldnt say it was a totally, absolutely smooth ride. but it was definitely better than paper 1. the only thing that set me back was the worry that i might have gotten a question mixed up. the question was about 'sunat-sunat aba'adh', but long after i had finished the paper, i thought, "eh! alamak! me tulis pasal sunat2 aba'adh ke hai'aat??!! oh no!"

even though i never like doing essay questions, i like getting all the points in. i like the feeling of completing the question with points and examples, in paragraph and neat writing. of course, by the end of the paper, my palms were all sweaty, hands tired. but i thought it was worth it. =)

expectation: at least, A2.
what i got: suprise, suprise! i got B3. disappointing huh?

comments: i acted as if i didnt care getting a B for IRK. many people are suprised, of course. me, top student, got B for IRK??? what had she done? written lengthy answers to show off her knowledge? hmmm... i didnt know whether my paper 2 was the cause, or paper 1. but i had thought that i did well in paper 2. i hope you're not calling me 'over-confident' ok? coz i am NEVER over-confident. over-confidence scares me, so sometimes i even try not to be confident!

so, my advice for those who want to take IRK is, READ THE IRK BOOKS NOW! not on the night before the exam! that would be...SUICIDAL! haha. plus, take note of the definitions and procedures of things, eg. fardhu kifayah, fardhu ain, manasik haji..all the rukuns and sunats, syarats etc etc..better memorize them..what is takwa? what is al-sirat?..apakah perbezaan solat jumaat dgn solat lima waktu?...apakah sumbangan umar semasa beliau menjadi khalifah?..apakah denda2 yang dikenakan bg kesalahan2 yang dibuat semasa haji?..riwayat hidup harun al-rasyid...all these, you must know and memorize, or at least, understand.. it's not that difficult! in fact, you CAN score A1 for IRK easily, provided if you read the books and understand and remember the facts. some of the facts are written in point forms..so it's easier..

what else? hmmm...oh! stick to the question. =) dont get far-fetched or anything. and please write neatly and clearly. and not-too-long paragraphs!

yep. i guess that's all.

oh! and maybe you'd like to test yourself. ask a friend to help you: he/she ask you questions, and you answer; it'll be like a quiz. that was what i did. plus, you can also get a group of friends to discuss the subject. do practice sheets n mock exam papers.

yeah...so if you have other questions or doubts, just email me ok? i'll try my best to help you. =)

*hmm..im still not ok with my IRK result. i strongly believe i can do better. so, im thinking of re-taking it. but i still havent discussed with my parents. i bet they wont encourage me to re-take the subject. waste of time and energy, the might call it. hmm..if im not allowed to re-take, i can do nothing but accept my current result. i think i can live with it..sigh~*

i deserve that! (part 1)

hey there. the o level result was more than 2 weeks ago - and the exam itself was 4 months ago - and it's only now that im going to share with you what i got for 0 level 2005.

ARABIC paper 1 - the language centre where we sat for that paper was packed with madrasah students.. personally, i was glad coz i got to meet my other madrasah friends; a few of them whom i had not seen for quite a long time. anyway, problems are always around, and at that time, it was the arabic letter format. so many 'versions': the wehdah's version, the mwti's version, our arabic textbook's version, our teacher's version.. needless to say, it was quite confusing. and at one moment we remembered the format, the next moment we forgot. then we had to remind each other the format.. really really cumbersome!

i chose to write a letter for section A. i had no other choice! i didnt really know the dialogue and report format. during all those arabic periods in alsagoff, we focused mainly on letter-writing, not dialogue, not report.


اكتب رسالة الى اخيك الذى يدرس فى الخارج لتهنّئه على نجاحه فى امتحاناته
Write a letter to your brother who is studying abroad to congratulate him on his success in his examinations.


the letter was ok i guess. except for good vocabulary, i think my content was good.


the topic that i chose in section B was difficult though. i didnt want to do narrative nor descriptive, so i settled on..err..im not sure in which category the title is, expository or argumentative..you decide yourself.


فى رأيك ما تأثيرات التلفاز فى مجتمعنا؟
What according to you is the influence of television on our society?


haha. i thought i'd be mature in this. i thought i could write a good essay, a sec-4 standard essay. but i was wrong! i didnt know (or maybe forgot) simple words like actors and host! i even forgot what 'media massa' is in arabic!!! really, man! i hate it when i forgot important words at the very moment that i needed them! it was like my brain became totally blank or something! about the content part, i dont know.. in my opinion, it wasnt enough.

so, i thought i had blown my arabic paper 1. and thus, thinning my chances of getting a nice A for Arabic.

ARABIC paper 2 - translation and reading comprehension. months before the exam, i was, frankly speaking, jealous of those wehdah kids with their quite-thick vocabulary and translation books. plus those kids in ust zauwiah's IRK class, in which ust zauwiah had taken an extra mile to help them with Arabic too. whereas i, not a wehdah kid and not in ust zauwiah's class, thought i've got less 'materials' and that they have better chances of scoring the translation part than me. sad case huh? pathetic! i know i should've helped myself more, 'usaha lebih'..pandai2 ah..

suprisingly, i found the translation part easy! yes, easy indeed! of course, there were words that i didnt know their meanings, but it was all ok. 'عقدا' ' الماس' 'جوهرات' ' قبعة'... 'meditating', 'extraordinary powers', 'acquired', 'ferryman'...all these words i had trouble with, trying to decide which word translates each of them best. plus, i found the two short passages (one is to be translated into English, the other Arabic) interesting and funny! =)

and all those times i did comprehension practices and exams in alsagoff, what i did was totally 'un-sec4': cut and paste, it had become a habit. though i usually scored high for my Arabic paper in school, i did feel i twang of guilt whenever i scanned through the comprehension part.

but i knew better than to 'cut and paste' in Arabic paper 2 comprehension. it was quite hard to rearrange the words, or sometimes use the 'mufradats' (kata seerti) - as my arabic vocab was quite poor - so it would look as if i didnt cut and paste the answers.

the comprehension passage was interesting too! it was about a man who cheated on his friend, who had asked him to keep his basket of olives while he was away for 7 years. there were 'جنيهات' of gold under the olives. and when the man found them, he took and hid them away and replaced the now rotten olives with new ones. i wont tell you what happened next; guess it yourself! hehe~

expectation: i hoped for, at least, B3.
what i got: A1! A1! A1! masya Allah, subhanallah!! i was very happy indeed!

being a tutor.

my aunt asked me to teach her daughter math, to prepare her for the PSLE.

yeah, right. as if im qualified n patient enough to teach.

but im glad to do it, anyway!

the problem is, i dont know whether whatever that i teach will stick in her head until the end of this year.

another problem is, im the kind of person who cakap/exlain berbelit-belit. so, most of the time, people dont understand what im trying to convey.

the other problem is that, im not organized and do things right to the last minute.

like just now. i was supposed to be ready for my first lesson since last sunday. so i had, like, 6 days to prepare: set the materials, arrange them, determine which part of the lesson to start first, strategize..

it was ok, i guess. the thing is, my cousin ni da ada tuition dgn mendaki. n our 'appointment' is 2h 30 min after her mendaki tuition. takut dia lose concentration je..

ibunya pula semangat belikan assessment books. that's the other thing i worry about. she may not be rajin enough to carefully read those revision books and practise what she's learnt..beli buku assessment banyak2 tapi tk digunakan sgt buat apa??

so, it is my job to encourage n motivate her, n make sure that she does the exercises regularly.

other than math, im going to try teaching her english n science. not that im very good at both of the subjects.. n im trying to figure out the best way to teach her those subjects..you know, to get the info n facts into her long-term memory. and to make sure she understands the concepts and experiments..

i know i must help her. i will be guilty if i dont help her. yelah, kita ada kelebihan, tkkn nk simpan sendiri.. cuba ajar dan pass kemahiran yg kita ada kepada org lain..

i remembered substituting for ust faridah last year. she teaches at madrasah mingguan masjid abdul aleem siddique. one day, she was unable to come coz she was sick. i was suprised when she called me. yelah, tk pernah2.. dah lah me tk pernah mengajar budak2 luar. then, she told me pelajar2 tu semuanye remaja. haiz~~ so, me tanye ust macam2! didnt want to miss anything that might be important.

hehe~ gabrah pon ade jugak ah..

and so, hari tu: ok ar...weird jugak..tk kenal sape2 kt situ, except for satu kakak ex-sagoff ni. me sampai siang. sampai sana langsung tkde org..so me duduk kt bustop dulu. 15-20 min went by baru me masuk perkarangan wehdah balik. yep, kelasnye diadakan di bangunan wehdah..

errr... me malas ar nk cerita panjang2. kisah nie dah lama pon. so, dipendekkan cerita, it went ok. except for a few older n bored students who obviously came to kill time, the other students were 'sporting'. =) cakap pasal older students tu, diorang tu mat2 yang mungkin ibu2 diorang suruh dtg..jadi diorang duduk satu corner. i even said to the class, "sape yg tkde mood nk belajar, duduk kt belakang ye.. n buat hal korang sendiri."

kelas tu campur lelaki n perempuan, so diri ni agak teruji laaa.. tp me mmg sungguh tk heran pasal mat2 tu semua.. tp ada jugak pelajar lain yg cute! HAHAHAHAHAHA.. *ish! sampai ke situ plak kau ni!* pelajar perempuan ok je.. mmg ada la yg tk enthusiastic, tp gasak diorang la..

fyi, the class started at 8 am if im not mistaken (it was a SUNDAY! kena keluar rumah pukul 6 lebih!!!) n ada dua kelas. satu kelas pukul 8-10.30, lagi satu 10.30-1. ada termasuk rehat sekali ar... i liked the first class better. masa second class tu, me dapat berbual dgn pelajar2 perempuan pasal isu tudung, aurat.. it was good la.. i got to share my opinion n advice with them. i hope they got the message, even if it's little.

it was tiring of course, by 10 something, my voice became hoarse (or is it 'coarse'?? is there such a word?). fuyo! susah sey...nk kena cakap loudly so the students tk doze off.. nk kena dapatkn perhatian diorang pon susah jugak. haiz~~ frankly speaking, my classmates are better than them!

on that day, baru me betul2 sedar betapa susahnye jadi guru. yep. i can just imagine..

anyway, anyway, anyway... i hope i can make a difference by helping my cousin.. i hope i'll make a good job. *sigh* seriously, i still think this teaching stuff is not my cup of tea. i told my friends that!

a suprise card! ^_^

go here to view the card.

i got it from a good friend of mine =) =) =)

though the picture is umm..not 'suitable for my own viewing', the words ARE nice..

it's the thought that counts anyway!

thanks, my friend..!!

happy, happy جدا!!!

sorry people for my long absence. a lot has happened, of course: relite camp.. o level result.. my next move on the education path.. khatam quran.. an offer to do business.. tuition for my primary 6 cousin..

BUT!

im writing this entry now to announce that...

MY COMPUTER IS ARABIC FONT-ENABLED!!!!!!!!!!!! yey!!

hahahaha....you think my annoucement could've been something much significant n important?? nah~~

it's just that, i've been wanting arabic font.. and for the past..what? 6-7 years.. it was impossible. but now, i've found a way to enable the font!! plus, my brother had installed windows xp..so all i had to do was installing the complex scripts (hebrew, arabic etc etc).. n meddling some things..and voila! i got it! i got it!

sorry people, if you find my excitement a bit lame.. *i dont give a damn!*

ok, so..i'll write about the other stuff next time ya? i bet you've been wanting to know my o level result n all.. =)

Sahabat... :'(

" Shbt,
jika hari ini aku t'lalu gembira,
sedarkanlh aku dgn amaran2 Allah..
jika ku b'sedih tanpa kata,
pujuklh aku dgn tarbiah Pncipta..
jika aku lemah x b'daya,
ingtknlh aku dgn kehebatn syurga..
jika antara kita ada tembok yg memisahkn,
ajaklh aku meleraikn segera..
jika pernah hatimu t'luka,
luahknlh agr aku b'ubah..
& jika esk ku lena tanpa t'jaga,
iringlh lena ku dgn kalungan doa..
b'janjilh shbt,
ukhuwah kita utk slamany. "


sebuah sms yang me dapat dari seorang kawan... terima kasih, anti!

masya Allah~ twice i read it, and twice my eyes became teary. (the second time was in a bus.. nasib baik air mata tk keluar! tk ke paisey nanti..! setakat bergenang je...)

and as i read it again just now, and am writing this, with a secret garden song playing.. i feel sad, touched... terharu sangat sangat!

thanks my friend. terima kasih kerana sudi menghantar sms tu kt ana. even though i know very well that you are not the original writer of this sms, i appreciate it anyway.

you have no idea.

i didnt even reply. i just kept quiet.

someday, she will know how much i appreciate and cherish our friendship. i hope she will.

if it's not too late.

*teary eyes again*

this is it!

i didnt realise how long my msn conversation was until i scrolled down the previous entry! very long indeed! hmmm...sorry people if you found it 'melecehkan dan menyakitkan mata' to read it..


so, the rumour is true after all..now i can wait peacefully for the day - the MOMENT - to come.



yep.


i can wait. yet i CANT wait.. how's that??

nervous?


-wrecked???


scared?


worried?


anxious?


want to run away?


bury yourself and not face it?


what the heck!


no, no, no! you shouldnt be feeling all that. calm yourself dude! the worst will be over soon..


*s.i.l.e.n.t. p.r.a.y.e.r.*

i know You are with me in this.
let me be strong.
if im sad, dont let the sadness stay too long.
make it go away.
if im heartbroken and depressed, dont let it linger too long.
make it fade away.

whatever the outcome,
i know You've answered my prayer well,
with wisdom and knowledge.
coz You're the All-knowing, All-seeing.
And i know it's for the best.
for my own good.
a blessing in disguise.



~ ~ ~ i dont want to break down, and cry ~ ~ ~

a piece of answer..

alhamdulillah~~ i believe Allah has finally shown me the way. i mean, not totally 'finally'... it's more like i've been given the first 'clue' as to where im going to pursue my studies... get my point?

*one option's been crossed off*

you know, it's been VERY VERY VERY VERY hard for me to even think for a minute or two about where im going to pursue my studies. so most of the time, i try to avoid the subject. as days went by - since i finished my o level exams - it got more n more difficult for me to answer the most popular question of all: "nak sambung kt mana?"

so, i've set my standard answer to that: "belum tahu lagi." though i get sick myself for answering that answer. i mean, i kept thinking - and still am - "are you sure you dont know?? you dont have any idea??? well, then, if you dont, YOU BETTER ACT NOW! sampai bila kau nak cakap 'belum tahu lagi'... dont just sit and wait!" yeah...i feel hopeless sometimes.. thinking about this..

of course, i've prayed, 've been praying..and pleading..that Allah will guide me and show me the way.. what's His choice for me..where's the best place for me.. although.... - im not ashamed to say this - although sometimes i get tired and discouraged..and hopeless again. i try not to complain..i know this is the devil's work, trying to make me lose my faith, inconsistent in praying..but im not giving up. not giving in.

i cried, yes. as i said, it's HARD for me..in this situation..

and sometimes, i feel that im not putting much effort. you know.."doa tapi tk berusaha, tk berguna!".. maybe im not finding the answer hard enough. i should've surfed the net..checked out schools..done a few surveys and enquiries..much earlier. but, i just didnt have the mood or enthusiasm to do so. but im not a total lazy bum ok? nor do i "menantikan nasi disajikan ke mulut"!

i've laid out a few options. just a few. but now it seems like i have none. hey! im not saying that i DONT have any options left a.k.a clueless, but it just seems like it. or feel like it.

you see, my main problem here is INTEREST and STUDY. im such a GODDAMN boring person, "SUNGGUH JUMUD, BEKU!", that i dont know what im actually interested in and that includes what course of study i want to do. i keep saying - or aking: "WHAT DO I WANT? WHAT DO I LIKE? DONT I HAVE ANY CLUE?"

and im worried that i - or rather, my parents - will not have enough money to send me to a good insitution. what about scholarships, you ask? "kan anti pandai..you have the brains n talents.. result mesti bagus punye.." yeah, right! WHAT IF someone else deserves it more than i do? WHAT IF i dont meet the requirements? WHAT IF the scholarship people think that my parent earns enough - or more than enough - to support my studies? WHAT IF i dont get a good o level result? WHAT IF the due date for application has come and gone?

money, money, money...even though i've been saving up since secondary 1 or 2.. i still dont have enough money. coz the money's been spent somewhere else.. but NOT for selfish reasons, ok?! hmmm.. when i think again, maybe i should've tied myself, prevented myself totally from a few treats and stuff. i shouldnt have spent NOTHING for myself. that would've saved some of the money. but still... i have responsibilities. i cannot be selfish. i must help my family. im a good girl, aint i? i must help. i cannot keep my money hidden when my parents are financially troubled.. hmmm..so i guess, my savings all those years couldnt help me pay my registration fee, let alone tuition fees!...


OH HECK! WHAT HAVE I BLABBERED HERE??!! i dont want to complain..i dont want to sound like im complaining..or seeking sympathy..IM NOT! i just writing this so i can be more acceptable of it.. so i know my own tangled feelings, long stashed somewhere in my head.

there's more..but im writing nothing else about WHAT I FEEL, WHAT I THINK coz im lost for words. you should know by now that im not good at describing, putting my feelings and thoughts into words. that's why my essays are never good enough.

anyway, enough self-pity! read the conversation below if you want to know how i got my first clue. it was between me and my senior, on sunday. night.


[SORRY, THE CONVERSATION HAS BEEN DELETED UPON REQUEST]


and so, i've made a decision not to go to IIS. i've asked Allah to "tetapkan hati ini bila Engkau telah menunjukkan jawapannya, agar aku tidak berubah hati, tidak dipengaruhi oleh bisikan syaitan yang sentiasa ingin menanamkan keraguan..." as im writing this, i still stand firm to my decision. and im praying that Allah will show me more 'clues' leading to the final answer..


"Ya Allah, jika jawapanMu hampir atau sudah berada di hadapanku, maka terangkanlah mataku dan hatiku untuk melihatnya..."

no, no, NO! IT CAN'T BE!!

i've just read aszafirah's latest entry.

she wrote that the results are coming out THIS monday! THIS COMING MONDAY!

I. DONT. BELIEVE. IT.

nope...im soooo not believing it.

well, she wrote that 'we' have received the pincodes. who the hell is 'we'?? maybe she and her classmates have got the pincodes, coz I sure havent!

you see, there's been rumours flying around since january. some say it's on the 6th, 10th, 15th... the usual date is somewhere in late february n early march, right?? but i dont deny that maybe the results are coming out early coz the jcs/polytechnics admissions are now early too...right??

anyway, when i saw the word "this monday"...suddenly, there was a knot in my stomach, and there still is. there's a bit of adrenaline rush too...suddenly i was scared. a bit. and nervous. haiz~ i wonder if i'll be able to sleep on the eve of the BIG day... ?_?

whenever the BIG day is, it is going to come and go. i am going to receive my result slip, no matter if i try to jinx it away or something.. and i am going to face the ultimate truth.

prepare for the worst.

researches and finds

madrasah wak tanjong has been selected to participate in an arabic debate competition in malaysia. n if im not mistaken, the competitors come from around this region and are students from higher institutions. pretty scary huh? i mean, no one would've expected a madrasah from singapore to be chosen, as we're still lacking of the essential skills and experience. but at the same time, it IS an honour for this proves that our madrasahs are recognized by the 'outside' authorities, and are fit to compete in what i'd say a difficult level.

anyway, im trying to help adilah find the relevant information for the debate. she told me it's about 'terrorism'...'irhab' or 'ihrab'..cant remember..eh! fyi, adilah's schooling in mwti and she's one of the 'rakan bahas'. they're not the debaters, but rather 'mock debaters', who help the debaters do research, practise, etc etc. i was excited when i got to know about the debate, and even though im not an mwti-an, i DO want to help.

finding the sufficient and credible information, plus making sure that its sources are reliable, is somewhat tedious and time-consuming to me. and confusing too. coz the themes of debates are usually..well, wide. so, the information found must at least cover most of the aspects of the theme(s). another problem is that we dont really know where to start, how to start putting information into one solid, sensible piece, and how to grasp and 'feel' the idea of what we're supposed to hold/defend.

i've had my own experience in this debate thingy, and both of the times weren't good. according to my calculation, they were TERRIBLE. but i must admit, i learn quite a LOT about debating. and let me tell you something, i even have a secret wish: that one day i'll be able to participate in the 4PM debate. but since im not entering pre-u here, so my dream is just a dream. actually, im kinda afraid to perticipate in any debate competition, coz i may embarrass myself again.

*_*

miscellaneous

This month's been mundane. Yep. It has been. Im not complaining though. Coz I, too, am a mundane person! =)

My chicken pox is officially gone. But not completely ok? What I mean is, the virus's dead but the scars remain. I had said to myself not to peel the dry 'kudis', but I did anyway. It was very tempting, you know! Once I started, I kept peeling another one, and another one..bad, bad me! N now, there's not much left to peel.. good thing ah..

I didn't go out of my house for days..more than 14 days! When I finally got to go out – to buy something – I was like.. "ohhhhhh! Im soooo relieved! Im sooo happy! Finally, I can breathe the fresh air!”though I was only going to the shop near my house, I felt kinda excited! Can you believe it? Me, excited to go to the shop?? The next time I went out was last Tuesday – tibyan class. Again, I was happy to leave the house. Then, went to somewhere even further, i.e. mks *all smiles!*

Speaking of mks, im less than 10 (or even 5) steps away to complete the first leg of the my quest. (isy~ apa aku merepek!)..nvm, nvm, if you don't understand what im saying, it's better! Niwei, I just cant wait for the time to come.. but on the other hand, im not trying to speed things up. Instead, I keep saying, "nanti me hafal..nanti me hafal..”another thing that's been bugging me is the sort-of promise to invite my tahfiz friends to that 'auspicious' day..actually, honestly, I want to do it myself. On my own. Without many people around. Just ustaz, me and whoever yg dtg tasmi' masa tu.. but since kak halimah has insisted, n other students have known about it and cant wait to be part of it, I will have to relent, right?? **BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!!**

Oh! 2 of my classmates called. Very very nice of them! I mean, people usually call me for a main reason, i.e. ask this, ask that, inform this, inform that.. and im the kind of person who don't entertain callers who call to ask, "how are you?”..alah~ mcm bestfriends selalu buat ar..berbual berjam2, cakap pasal kejadian hari nie etc etc.

So, when 'afeyah n huda called, I expected that they had something to ask/inform me. But no, they asked, "anti ape khabar??...dah sihat?..dah lama sey tak jumpa..”..n the conversation went from there..surprisingly, I was totally ok with it. My conversation with 'afeyah lasted for about..I dunno, maybe 40minutes-1hour, while I talked to huda for 1 hour and 10 minutes! Haiz~ ape ajelah yg kita bualkan?!

Another huda also called..haiz~ baik pulak budak nie nak call! Padahal me cuma sms dia tanya pasal prisma n muraqibah umum..well, our conversation was ok. No awkwardness..*grins*..that one lasted for 1 hour too! N then, me berbual dgn kak mardhyiah pon boleh tahan lama! Alahai, liyana~ sejak bila kau berbual lama2 kt talipon nie!

Me jumpe liyana rahaim kt dlm mrt, on my way to mks, hari khamis yang baru lepas nie..fuyo! Happy sgt2 dpt jumpe dia..me nmpk kelibat aszafirah tgh tunggu mrt kt platform tu..tp jauh ah nk tegur.. hmmm.. it was quite a strange feeling for me, felt good though. Hmmm.. sometimes you don't know how much you miss a person until you see him/her again. So, yeah.. when I saw liyana n talked to her a bit, I realized that I've missed her and all my other classmates! Oh!! I really cant wait to see them again!

Thinking about my friends and school, and looking at the pictures of my secondary-school days, can really bring tears to my eyes. It's kinda weird; me feeling all sad n teary. Sentimental! It's soooo unlike me..

Oh well~ what can I say.. those days are now behind me. But the memories will linger forever..(hopefully!)..n the future? Nah.. I don't want to talk about it. I'll share with you my thoughts about MY future next time..

at home on saturday.

turned out that they - murni and syarafina - didnt recite the poem that mardhiah wrote. i was the one who asked mardhiah to write it, to summarize our gratitude.. n i feel guilty. i wonder why they didnt recite the poem.. hmmmm.. *husnuzzhon* i smsed mardhiah to say im sorry. she replied that she 'hmm.. tkpelah.. ana tk kesah.. tp rase terkilan 2 ttp wujud wlw ana cube tepis.. takpelah ti.. bende da berlalu da..'

well, me pon terkilan jugak.. sbb me betul2 nak ada sajak..dan sajak tu dibace dgn 'passionate'..jadi mak2 bapak2 guru2 pelajar2 dapat hayati dan fahami apa yg kita2 nk sampaikan.. hmm..nmpnknye, message tu tk terluah pon!

klw korg nak tau, sepanjang beberapa jam - from the minute my parents went out (around 8.30 am) until 12 lebih - me asyik fidgetty. at some points, i felt like bursting! i mean, mcm nk buat drastic action: ambik baju sekolah, pakai baju sekolah, n terus pegi sekolah! it was like as if there was a big hole in my heart, n i was going to get it back at school.. haiz~~ quite bizarre, this feeling of mine!

btw, this is the poem that mardhiah wrote:

Di sini...Di tempat ini...
Terlalu kerdil kami rasakan..

Di sini...Di tempat ini..
Kami tenggelam di laut ilmu yang sangat dalam.
Yang menggenangi kami.
Sedekad lamanya.

Di sini...Di tempat ini...
Betapa pun kami layari bahtera ilmu di sini tak terteroka

Di sini...Di tempat ini...
Yang akan kami tadah. Hanya setitik dari samudera.
Yang akan kami petik. Hanya sebiji dari mutiara.
Yang akan kami dakap. Hanya sebingkis dari kenangan.
Saban waktu. Saban detik. Saban saat.
Meski daun masa mulai gugur bersama usia...


around 12-something pm, i started to sms my friends..anxious to know what had happened..how the event was... the smses sounded ok =) bila mak talipon je, tiba2 me excited, nak mak balik cepat2! konon nk mintak mak ceritakan apa yg ada kt sekolah..mak cakap "mak menggigil naik stage..rasa mcm nk nangis pon ada jugak.." hahahahaha! menggigil?? hehe~ tkpelah, bukannya my mum pernah naik stage ambikkan my hadiah..selalunye, tiap2 tahun, me lah yg naik stage..

so, what's the so-called 'hadiah' yang me dapat??? hmm..well..please dont start calling or labelling me 'show-off', 'proud', 'smug' etc...im going to tell you but please dont make it sound as if it's a BIG deal..ok, i got the "PELAJAR CEMERLANG" (Best Student) Award.. just a plaque i think..i dunno, i didnt see it.. coz mum didnt bring it home.

why?

coz it was my request: keep the award, my 'first-position' prize, n my certificate plus my recordbook at school. i'll come for all of them when i've recovered, fully maybe. im thinking of going to school next week - friday - but then again, maybe, maybe not. we'll see..

anyway, me sempat kirim mak supaye passkan 2 envelopes to kamaliah, n then kamaliah gave 1 envelope each to kak hairani n teacher ain..ada ape ye?? tkde ape2 special..cuma gmbr yg me dah printkan tapi tk terkasi-kasi.. yg bestnye, kamaliah pinjamkan dvd THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA n ZATHURA..yey! ada jugak cerita best nak tgk kt rumah...paham2 je lah..me nie dah lah tk boleh keluar..jd tv lah yg kdg2 jd 'lifesaver'..hehe~

the movie NARNIA was great! i kept remembering about THE LORD OF THE RINGS..ye lah..a bit of similarities: going to war, battle of good n evil n both are in different, exciting worlds =) psst..! the eldest brother, peter, looks sweet..hehe~ i like to watch his face.. he looks a bit like chad michael murray..but i dont fancy the latter..

ZATHURA was good too! watching it reminded me of JUMANJI, the players must finish the game, n they encountered real..real..what's the word? hmm..real things ar..a bit of suspence here n there..ooooh! how i dont enjoy anything 'suspenceful'! but i like the movie all the same =)

ok, to wrap it up, i didnt do much today. i think the only knowledgeable thing i did was reading a story or two from Rampaisari Prosa Warisan..i know, i know, the o level has long passed. but in reality, i never finished the book. n when i was reading 'di negeri jin islam' n 'medapat cincin hikmat', in my heart, i was really really grateful (alhamdulillah..alhamdulillah..terima kasih Ya Allah~) that those titles, n others, didnt come out in the 'Sastera' paper. cerita2 yg keluar semuanya me familiar, walaupun tk master sgt..tgklah! ketentuan Allah camne...subhanallah~~ me ingat lagi, minutes before the exam..me benar2 panik! banyak cerita me tk ingat, characters pon tk ingat..jln cerita me tk tahu..i prayed that i would get easy stories...n i was amazed when i read the question paper! see! within minutes, my prayer was answered. it was miraculous! how Allah has arranged all these..as if it was just a coincidence!

hmmm...i guess that's all for now =)

p/s: my dad said,"lagi sebulan baru boleh keluar.." WHAT?! tkkn lah sampai begitu panjang~~ bekas2 nie tkkn hilang pon sampai beberapa tahun! hmmm..oh well~

feeling normal =)

even though i havent recuperated competely, im feeling ok today.

plus the fact yg me dah mandi hadas, lega sey hati! klw tidak, me terpikir2: camne nk mandi hadas eh? sbb ada bekas2 putih all over my body.. you see, calamol lotion yg me gunekan tu mcm kapur, bila sapu kt kulit, nanti kulit keputih2an...n memandangkn me selalu gunekan, jd warna putih tu mcm melekat lah..me jirus beberapa kali pon tk hilang jugak. me tk nk gunekan sabun coz i dunno if it'll affect my skin.

so, agak worried jugak ar..tp td pagi, me mandi je..me percaya, air dapat menembusi bekas2 putih tu..lagipun, it's not thick or anything...so it's alright ar...haiz~ betul2 lega! refreshing pulak tu, sbb sejak kena chicken pox nie, me mandi tk proper sgt..sekejap je mandi.. =|

me mkn pon dah ok skrg...i can enjoy my meal without worrying about my throat! ulcer pon dah ok.. cuma bibir maseh kering ar..

oh! another thing: bubbles kt muka byk yg dah pecah! sedih sey...susah betul nk elak..tp tk rasa sakit..cume eye-sore ah.. sbb kt bubble-spots tu nmpk hardened brownish liquid. alahai~ nmpknye, bertanda lah muka aku ni! tkpe tkpe..redha~~ semalam me pakai t-shirt warna whitish cream gitu.. biler tgk baju tu, eh! byk betul tanda2 brown ada kt bahagian belakang. kt bahagian depan n bahagian lengan pon ada jugak, tp tk byk. haa! ini menunjukkan bahawa byk bubbles yg nk burst.. liquidnya dah mula seeping out..hmm..tk boleh nk elak ar..oh well~~

hmmm...esok confirm benar me tk dtg. sedih betul bila memikirkannya. tp tkpe lah..nk buat camne. klw ikutkn perasaan, me mcm nk pegi je. yelah, me dah ok pe? muke pon, bubbles dah pecah, tgl bekas2 ar yg berwarna dark brown.. we'll see.. mak n ayah dijemput dtg, sbb...ehem~ehem~ tu esok je boleh cerita..haha..klw boleh me nk request hadiah yg me dpt simpan kt sekolah, jgn bwk balik rumah, sbb me nk menerimanya dari tangan mudirah sendiri.. hmm..tk tau lah, klw request nie diterima ke tidak nanti.

terkilah jugak sebab tk dpt nk beri ucapan nanti.. wakil sec4 ialah syarafina n murni (satu monitoress, lg satu prefect)..oh well~~ at least me ada tmbh sikit isi ucapan tu, tp tk tau lah mereka (yg buat ucapan - syarafina n hazimah) terima ke tidak, sbb my isi sounds friendly, not formal. hehe~

sabar je lah liyana..ada hikmah di sebalik semua ni..