finished school early today. 2pm plus.. but too bad, cant go home, coz later have ELF meeting at 6pm. alahai~~
anyway, new academic year is here... so there was a recruitment drive (3 days) for all the CCA groups... tkd had to share a booth with the rock-climbers and track&field people... ish! ujian betul... rijal2 melayu.. ergh! at first, i was enthusiastic to 'jaga' our part of the booth ar.. but after the first day.. terus me tk jaga lagi.. tk selesa ah. jenguk2 occasionally je..
elf plak, we got one bench to ourselves.. whee~~ n we won the best booth award! (err.. actually, im not sure of the exact award name ah... i think we won because of best decoration)
the outcome?
tkd - ramai pelajar melayu yg sign up. lelaki lebih ramai... semua beginner. yang perempuan nye... mmm... satu brown black belt, lagi satu black belt (whoOOoo). yg black belt tu kecil je orangnye. sungguh deceiving. heh. the rest are beginners.
elf - ramai jugak budak applied science yang diterima masuk. several classmates and coursemates and ASmates... hmm.. no comment.
oh, n did i mention that i got to interview people?? it was during the last day of ELF interview sessions (3 days) for applicants. mcm best gitu.. see how people react, trying to assess them but at the same time analyse and understand why they react this or that way (yelah~ kite pun pernah diinterview per... takkan nak act bossy/know-it-all/intimidating kan..)
last but not least, i've signed up for tkd pattern poomsae (ntah, i dunno what it means, or how to spell it) in the single category. cheh~ mcm betul je aku nih! and it's on 17 june. LESS THAN A MONTH! wah, die! another friend also signed up. in the same category.. so i guess im not alone. hmmm... doakan ye?
ok, ok... enough of the cca updates!
now, let me brief you about my subjects for this semester:
1. fundamentals of pathology
pathology means the study of disease. this subject is via e-learning. maknenye, takde lecture, takde hands-on practical. only occasional online discussions (msn chat) and face-to-face tutorial. lecture notes are provided online.
but i like the subject. first, coz of the teacher (dr. khin mar mar - PhD you! jgn main2) and the contents =)
kat sini lah kite belajar the terms for diseases... why certain diseases/abnormalities/disorders come about, the mechanism, the morphology/appearance etc etc. the best part for me is when i understand how the infection/problem actually happens, then am able to link it with the hints of symptoms/diseases... interesting!!
2. histological techniques
histology means study of tissues. only +/- 50 students yang belajar subject ni. BMT students. the lecturer is the same dr. khin =) we learn how to fix body tissues so that it wont deteriorate... tapi bukan mummification tau! tu lain.. then, dip the fixed body tissues in alcohol, xylene, wax.. then do a tissue block (a small piece of tissue inside, in the middle of, a small rectangular block of hard wax. then, microtomy (cut the tissue block super thin!) then staining (at the end, the nucleus appears blue, the cytoplasm appears pink)
basically, kite belajar camne nak kekalkan shape and komposisi cell for a long time.. for example, klw orang tu sakit barah, kite check sel barahnye. camne? ambil a tissue sample, do all the above, then baru boleh tgk under the microscope. something like that ah..
3. applied immunology
we learn more in-depth about how our body protect itself. wow! subhanallah~~ mmg amazing ah bile pikir2... punyelah complicated processes yang ade dlm badan kite nih! yang kite tahu cume jatuh sakit, makan ubat, pulih. sekarang me dah boleh imagine ape sebenarnye yg tgh happening bila me sakit, or injured..
4. molecular genetics
ni lagi amazing! tak tahu ape nak cakap!
anyway, we learn about heredity, some principles, genes, DNA, RNA, chromosomes, replication/tanscription/translation, gene expression.... all in-depth! mmg belajar detail2 ni membuatkan kite bertambah faham dan appreciative, tapi bila masuk part exam... aiyo! banyak sgt lahhhh yg kena tahu. boleh jadi pening!
sebenarnye, i have a wishful thinking... to major in genetics one day... tapi tgk ah camne... if my interest still lives 4, 10, 15, 20 years later.
5. communication skills for applied science 3
we learn research skills... especially when it comes to getting the right resources... wah, boleh tahan TP ni! our library + database resources are... well, mcm more than enough gitu. (to me, lah...) then, the usual referencing, plagiarism... at the end of the semester nanti, nak kena buat research report.. but in groups.
6. cross disciplinary subject
my cds this semester is french language and culture.
needless to say,
im loving it! =)
---------------------------------------------
okay... i think that's all for my school updates.
my social life?
urgh, forget it.
takde update. basically, my life revolves around my school.
mMmMmMMmm...
oh, btw, my tutee failed her arabic exam. im saddened by it.. ntah eh... i need to work harder. find the right channel, mechanism, to impart my knowledge to her.
and i still would like to own a laptop. materialistic me!
je suis présente!
feels good to write here again. though i was a bit reluctant.
i went to fashihah's blog just now.
she withdrew from kuis???
wow.
i wonder where you're studying now, fashihah.... anti tulis kat blog anti yang sekolah anti tu jauuuuhhh nah... mmm jauh sangat ke..? klw gitu, kite tak dapat nak jumpe lagi 2, 3 tahun??
=(
walaupun kite tak rapat, ana sedih jugak ah tak dapat nak jumpe anti... sedangkn kawan2 kt malaysia pon ana tk dapat jumpe bila mereka sedang cuti.
hmmm.... what i've been up to?
nothing much. just go to school, learn something, back home, watch tv, print notes, cca, adobe photohoshop, meetings. yeah. quite mundane.
but, but!
yesterday i got to watch spiderman 3 avec mon frère et ma soeur (with my brother and my sister). wah, wah, wah!! two thumbs up. and tobey looks especially good-looking with his fringe - and black suit. (not the black spidey suit, ok... im talking about the suit he wore when he took gwen to the diner/bar) oops! hehe..
and....
there's an open house event at madrasah al-maarif this saturday... a friend of mine said there will be bazaar and tour around the school. nice!
concurrently, there's qiyamullail at alsagoff, n im happy to say that i'll be helping out. err... as a facilitator?? hmmm... whatever lah.. yang penting, me dapat jumpe ust sakinah and adilah. woo Hoo~~ sape2 lagi yang pegi eh..
btw, if you're wondering, the main picture in this layout: lyrics from the song Vois Sur Ton Chemin, one of the beautiful songs from the french movie Les Choristes (The Choir). i had been wanting to watch the movie ever since it was launched.... bertahun2 yang lalu ah... then, as i was flipping through my french workbook, i saw the 'movie screening' part... and i saw the word 'les choristes'. obviously lah kan, the dvd/vcd is in the school library.
punyelah sukeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr diri nie bila discover that the cd is within my reach! ape lagi...
and so, j'aime Les Choristes =)
afterwards, i borrowed the soundtrack. aiyo~ tak puas2 si liyana nih!
the soloist's voice is just so.. angelic, melodious.. bagai buluh perindu. betul! namanye Jean-Baptiste Maunier. physique nye pon.... subhanallah~ suara ade, wajah ade... *sentence left hanging* there's also one character 'pepinot'... budak yang lakonkan watak tu pon.. cute!
klw nak tahu cerite ni tentang ape, go and google, or yahoo, 'les choristes' yourself. thanks!
this is the real choir group behind Les Choristes. they are from Les Petits Chanteurs de Saint-Marc.
click here to listen to another song from the movie, n this time there's a solo part by jean-baptiste.
i went to fashihah's blog just now.
she withdrew from kuis???
wow.
i wonder where you're studying now, fashihah.... anti tulis kat blog anti yang sekolah anti tu jauuuuhhh nah... mmm jauh sangat ke..? klw gitu, kite tak dapat nak jumpe lagi 2, 3 tahun??
=(
walaupun kite tak rapat, ana sedih jugak ah tak dapat nak jumpe anti... sedangkn kawan2 kt malaysia pon ana tk dapat jumpe bila mereka sedang cuti.
hmmm.... what i've been up to?
nothing much. just go to school, learn something, back home, watch tv, print notes, cca, adobe photohoshop, meetings. yeah. quite mundane.
but, but!
yesterday i got to watch spiderman 3 avec mon frère et ma soeur (with my brother and my sister). wah, wah, wah!! two thumbs up. and tobey looks especially good-looking with his fringe - and black suit. (not the black spidey suit, ok... im talking about the suit he wore when he took gwen to the diner/bar) oops! hehe..
and....
there's an open house event at madrasah al-maarif this saturday... a friend of mine said there will be bazaar and tour around the school. nice!
concurrently, there's qiyamullail at alsagoff, n im happy to say that i'll be helping out. err... as a facilitator?? hmmm... whatever lah.. yang penting, me dapat jumpe ust sakinah and adilah. woo Hoo~~ sape2 lagi yang pegi eh..
btw, if you're wondering, the main picture in this layout: lyrics from the song Vois Sur Ton Chemin, one of the beautiful songs from the french movie Les Choristes (The Choir). i had been wanting to watch the movie ever since it was launched.... bertahun2 yang lalu ah... then, as i was flipping through my french workbook, i saw the 'movie screening' part... and i saw the word 'les choristes'. obviously lah kan, the dvd/vcd is in the school library.
punyelah sukeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr diri nie bila discover that the cd is within my reach! ape lagi...
and so, j'aime Les Choristes =)
afterwards, i borrowed the soundtrack. aiyo~ tak puas2 si liyana nih!
the soloist's voice is just so.. angelic, melodious.. bagai buluh perindu. betul! namanye Jean-Baptiste Maunier. physique nye pon.... subhanallah~ suara ade, wajah ade... *sentence left hanging* there's also one character 'pepinot'... budak yang lakonkan watak tu pon.. cute!
klw nak tahu cerite ni tentang ape, go and google, or yahoo, 'les choristes' yourself. thanks!
this is the real choir group behind Les Choristes. they are from Les Petits Chanteurs de Saint-Marc.
click here to listen to another song from the movie, n this time there's a solo part by jean-baptiste.
into my second year
school reopens, and im now a junior. i dont like that term..!! it sounds younger than freshman..
n the best thing is...
i got french for my cross-disciplinary subject!! woo-hoo~~ i hope i'll get A or B for this subject..
timetable, well, im satisfied with it. basically, i have lotttsss of breaks =) oh! but bad news: tuesday to friday, sch starts at 8 in the morning. *rolling on the floor, wailing like mad~~* i missed APEL lesson (a tutorial) yesterday =( it was really demoralizing, sitting in the bus, hands going numb due to super cold aircon, n stuck in the highway jam. so, i expect to get a warning letter soon.
cca, im selected for Quartermaster in ELF. im happy with that position, coz i asked for it :) tkd, we got a malay guy captain. yeah!
n silat is now officially in TP!! too bad im already in tkd, so although i'd like to join the seni part of silat, i dont think i can. oh well~~ in conclusion, i wont be adding another cca into my life.
oh, n i have several new classmates. coz biomed split up already. half goes to biomedical technology (BMT), another half goes to pharmaseutical science and technology (PST). im in BMT. then, BMT students are divided into 2 classes. im in TG02.
ok, got to go now. tutorial at 11am~ bye!!
n the best thing is...
i got french for my cross-disciplinary subject!! woo-hoo~~ i hope i'll get A or B for this subject..
timetable, well, im satisfied with it. basically, i have lotttsss of breaks =) oh! but bad news: tuesday to friday, sch starts at 8 in the morning. *rolling on the floor, wailing like mad~~* i missed APEL lesson (a tutorial) yesterday =( it was really demoralizing, sitting in the bus, hands going numb due to super cold aircon, n stuck in the highway jam. so, i expect to get a warning letter soon.
cca, im selected for Quartermaster in ELF. im happy with that position, coz i asked for it :) tkd, we got a malay guy captain. yeah!
n silat is now officially in TP!! too bad im already in tkd, so although i'd like to join the seni part of silat, i dont think i can. oh well~~ in conclusion, i wont be adding another cca into my life.
oh, n i have several new classmates. coz biomed split up already. half goes to biomedical technology (BMT), another half goes to pharmaseutical science and technology (PST). im in BMT. then, BMT students are divided into 2 classes. im in TG02.
ok, got to go now. tutorial at 11am~ bye!!
my pride
Im JuSt So PrOuD tO bE a StUdEnT oF
Madrasah Alsagoff Al-Arabiah
School of Applied Science
Temasek Polytechnic
and i must say, im proud to be a
SINGAPOREAN
~feeling sooOoOoo patriotic!~
50+ more hours to go!!!
oh tidak...!!!!!!!!!
school opens in less than 2 weeks, n i havent even reached 40-hour mark! die, die, die!
Geriatric Nutrition - Nutritional Assessment and Menu Analysis.
alhamdulillah~~ i've finished filling in my share of data summary forms.. but i havent double-checked or standardised the formats... aiyo! nanti je lah.... dah penat hadap microsoft word and excel!
hmmm.... what have i been up to lately, eh? im very much aware that i have not been sharing with you lots of stories n interesting events.. sampai dah naik lupe.. hmm...
here's a summary..:
:: the most recent one was the MIQ 'meta.ilmu.aqal' quiz. represented TP, well, sort of.. err.. illegally. TP didnt get through to the semi-finals. our marks were pathetic, but who cares! =) good news though: 2 members of our team (out of 10 people who took the MIQ test aka the qualifying round) clinched the 2nd and 3rd positions in the top 5 scorers. *beaming* marha~ marha~
:: the ongoing activity now is D-Talk, a 2-day 1-night da'wah camp organised by Nur Ikhwan. for tertiary level students. what does 'D' stand for? go figure it out yourself! im in finance.. so not much work there. but, but.... im SUCH A LOUSY team member. coz i dont put enough effort when doing task! procrastinate, as usual. nak tulis email draft to mendaki pon lambat! in the end, my camp commandant yg gi sane, jumpe officer nye.. (but, hey! i've written and emailed the draft to her and another 2 sisters, ok? i did my job on time! the only problam was the soft copy of proposal tkde kt yahoogroup, n then, kebetulan dia nak gi ke mendaki hari ni... so, nampaknye my email to tk diperlukan lagi. tkpe..tkpe..) oh, n the event is next week, saturday. check out Nur Ikhwan's blog for more details!
:: ELF training with Paul, our senior ELF... that was when i learnt to sit on my harness. oh. my. god. ingatkan senang ke pe?! i was the first to go. he didnt tell what we were supposed to do after we lobster-clawed ourselves up. tapi tk tinggi ah.. around 2 metres gitu.. bila disuruh ' relax, let go of your hands, rest on your harness, straighten your legs.. ' waduh! mcm tk boleh gitu! tapi.... at last, aku berjaya!!! yey! then.. then... i learnt threading/treading also... kena panjat pole tinggi sendiri.. then pasang itu, pasang ini... seram oi! jgn main2! yg me happy and proud of myself was that i managed to sit on my harness, again, tp kali ni kt the near-highest point of the pole. (although my legs kinda wrapped around it) n then, the ELFs had a talk with our SAA advisor, terence, about the next main committee... all of us there applied to be in the main comm..
:: went for Applied Science Orientation Leaders Training Camp. 3-day 2-night. this year, AS school's cheer is dikir-barat style.. some commented that it's a bit soft leh... n i think our cheers would surely be drowned by the other schools' upbeat, loud, deafening cheers. hmmm.. oh! n this year's theme is The Pirates of The Caribbean. (last year was Underworld)
:: watched the movie Sybil at school library. only 1 of the 2 CDs though. kudos to the actress! she really potrayed her different characters stunningly well! believable! should watch! but mind you, there's this part were the guy neighbour went to sybil's apartment n shamelessly undressed himself. yuck!
:: zoo outing with several classmates. lots of walking than really relishing the scenery n displays. but i enjoyed it nevertheless. dah berzaman tk gi sane.. so i was happy to step into the animal world again =)
:: TKD chalet. the malays uruskan the BBQ food. it's a 3-day chalet.. but i only went for the first day.. coz got BBQ... it wasnt a pleasant experience for me. felt out of place.
:: labrador park outing with tahfiz friends, n juniors. HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY ME ^_^ it was great to see kak juwita, afeyah and kak hafizah again!! woOoOoOOOooo~
:: oh! n my cumulative grade point average (cgpa) - combining 1st and 2nd semesters' gpa - is 3.14. alhamdulillah~ no A for me... 1 distinction, 1 C+, and some B+'s and B's.
i need a break, man. seriously.... i want to go out of singapore. gi johor bahru pon jadi lah~ or mane2 kt singapore... tapi nak cari enough leisure time nie susah.... tkde waktu untuk gembirakan diri ni... to get away from tasks, daily routines. cuti sekolah pon, tk dpt nak cuti! i want to go to DQ, can? nak cari ketenangan..
that's all, i guess. enjoy your week, people! byeee~~!
school opens in less than 2 weeks, n i havent even reached 40-hour mark! die, die, die!
Geriatric Nutrition - Nutritional Assessment and Menu Analysis.
alhamdulillah~~ i've finished filling in my share of data summary forms.. but i havent double-checked or standardised the formats... aiyo! nanti je lah.... dah penat hadap microsoft word and excel!
hmmm.... what have i been up to lately, eh? im very much aware that i have not been sharing with you lots of stories n interesting events.. sampai dah naik lupe.. hmm...
here's a summary..:
:: the most recent one was the MIQ 'meta.ilmu.aqal' quiz. represented TP, well, sort of.. err.. illegally. TP didnt get through to the semi-finals. our marks were pathetic, but who cares! =) good news though: 2 members of our team (out of 10 people who took the MIQ test aka the qualifying round) clinched the 2nd and 3rd positions in the top 5 scorers. *beaming* marha~ marha~
:: the ongoing activity now is D-Talk, a 2-day 1-night da'wah camp organised by Nur Ikhwan. for tertiary level students. what does 'D' stand for? go figure it out yourself! im in finance.. so not much work there. but, but.... im SUCH A LOUSY team member. coz i dont put enough effort when doing task! procrastinate, as usual. nak tulis email draft to mendaki pon lambat! in the end, my camp commandant yg gi sane, jumpe officer nye.. (but, hey! i've written and emailed the draft to her and another 2 sisters, ok? i did my job on time! the only problam was the soft copy of proposal tkde kt yahoogroup, n then, kebetulan dia nak gi ke mendaki hari ni... so, nampaknye my email to tk diperlukan lagi. tkpe..tkpe..) oh, n the event is next week, saturday. check out Nur Ikhwan's blog for more details!
:: ELF training with Paul, our senior ELF... that was when i learnt to sit on my harness. oh. my. god. ingatkan senang ke pe?! i was the first to go. he didnt tell what we were supposed to do after we lobster-clawed ourselves up. tapi tk tinggi ah.. around 2 metres gitu.. bila disuruh ' relax, let go of your hands, rest on your harness, straighten your legs.. ' waduh! mcm tk boleh gitu! tapi.... at last, aku berjaya!!! yey! then.. then... i learnt threading/treading also... kena panjat pole tinggi sendiri.. then pasang itu, pasang ini... seram oi! jgn main2! yg me happy and proud of myself was that i managed to sit on my harness, again, tp kali ni kt the near-highest point of the pole. (although my legs kinda wrapped around it) n then, the ELFs had a talk with our SAA advisor, terence, about the next main committee... all of us there applied to be in the main comm..
:: went for Applied Science Orientation Leaders Training Camp. 3-day 2-night. this year, AS school's cheer is dikir-barat style.. some commented that it's a bit soft leh... n i think our cheers would surely be drowned by the other schools' upbeat, loud, deafening cheers. hmmm.. oh! n this year's theme is The Pirates of The Caribbean. (last year was Underworld)
:: watched the movie Sybil at school library. only 1 of the 2 CDs though. kudos to the actress! she really potrayed her different characters stunningly well! believable! should watch! but mind you, there's this part were the guy neighbour went to sybil's apartment n shamelessly undressed himself. yuck!
:: zoo outing with several classmates. lots of walking than really relishing the scenery n displays. but i enjoyed it nevertheless. dah berzaman tk gi sane.. so i was happy to step into the animal world again =)
:: TKD chalet. the malays uruskan the BBQ food. it's a 3-day chalet.. but i only went for the first day.. coz got BBQ... it wasnt a pleasant experience for me. felt out of place.
:: labrador park outing with tahfiz friends, n juniors. HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY ME ^_^ it was great to see kak juwita, afeyah and kak hafizah again!! woOoOoOOOooo~
:: oh! n my cumulative grade point average (cgpa) - combining 1st and 2nd semesters' gpa - is 3.14. alhamdulillah~ no A for me... 1 distinction, 1 C+, and some B+'s and B's.
i need a break, man. seriously.... i want to go out of singapore. gi johor bahru pon jadi lah~ or mane2 kt singapore... tapi nak cari enough leisure time nie susah.... tkde waktu untuk gembirakan diri ni... to get away from tasks, daily routines. cuti sekolah pon, tk dpt nak cuti! i want to go to DQ, can? nak cari ketenangan..
that's all, i guess. enjoy your week, people! byeee~~!
an example
di bawah adalah satu contoh orang yang nak berkenalan dengan orang lain.
"Hey liyana eh boleh bual2 jap im boring kat camp"
kisahnye begini: ade satu hamba Allah nie, dia sms me, asking "Liyana eh".. i replied that i am liyana and asked this person who she/he is..
then, erm.. i couldnt quite remember.. well, turned out that he is my coursemate's brother, n that he got the wrong number, wrong liyana. hah! so i said ok, hope that you will find the correct person's number. then.... the above sms was sent to me.
duh! ape lagi, me pon reply yang me ni 'bukan wanita yang berbual dgn lelaki kt talipon' n i suggested that he talk to his same species friends. i mean, come on lah! mcmlah dia ni tkde kwn2 lelaki... tkkn nak berbual dgn perempuan kot! merepek!
his reply:
"bukan mcm gitulah bebual msg je lahh"
n i replied something like "klw saye ade urusan dgn lelaki, saye sms.. or call klw terpakse. saye tkde urusan dgn awak, bahkan tk kenal pun." and something like, "i hope you respect my principle/decision"..
dia tk reply balik, klw tk silap. so, the end =)
nak kate, i think this is my first time dealing with a total stranger of the opposite sex who wants to start a conversation. n my first impression was, ergh! menyampah nye aku! tapi, mcm nak nasihatkan dia, tegurkan kesilapan dia tu..
hmm.. learnt any lesson, anyone?
^_^
"Hey liyana eh boleh bual2 jap im boring kat camp"
kisahnye begini: ade satu hamba Allah nie, dia sms me, asking "Liyana eh".. i replied that i am liyana and asked this person who she/he is..
then, erm.. i couldnt quite remember.. well, turned out that he is my coursemate's brother, n that he got the wrong number, wrong liyana. hah! so i said ok, hope that you will find the correct person's number. then.... the above sms was sent to me.
duh! ape lagi, me pon reply yang me ni 'bukan wanita yang berbual dgn lelaki kt talipon' n i suggested that he talk to his same species friends. i mean, come on lah! mcmlah dia ni tkde kwn2 lelaki... tkkn nak berbual dgn perempuan kot! merepek!
his reply:
"bukan mcm gitulah bebual msg je lahh"
n i replied something like "klw saye ade urusan dgn lelaki, saye sms.. or call klw terpakse. saye tkde urusan dgn awak, bahkan tk kenal pun." and something like, "i hope you respect my principle/decision"..
dia tk reply balik, klw tk silap. so, the end =)
nak kate, i think this is my first time dealing with a total stranger of the opposite sex who wants to start a conversation. n my first impression was, ergh! menyampah nye aku! tapi, mcm nak nasihatkan dia, tegurkan kesilapan dia tu..
hmm.. learnt any lesson, anyone?
^_^
kawan-kawan..
Ya Allah,
betapa aku rindu pada kawan-kawan ku di Alsagoff...
aahh~ i miss you guys soo much. i want to go back. let's go back.
seeing those photos at friendster finally overwhelmed me.
im simply missing the life i had back then. it's just soo different now.
but i cant go back.
betapa aku rindu pada kawan-kawan ku di Alsagoff...
aahh~ i miss you guys soo much. i want to go back. let's go back.
seeing those photos at friendster finally overwhelmed me.
im simply missing the life i had back then. it's just soo different now.
but i cant go back.
Il divo & celine dion - i believe in you
it is one of the truely inspiring songs i've ever heard and fallen in love with =)
Lonely
The path you have chosen
A restless road
No turning back
One day you
Will find you light again
Don't you know
Don't let go
Be strong
Follow you heart
Let you love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you
Follow your dreams
Be yourself, an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you can not do
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you.
Tout seul
Tu t'en iras tout seul
Coeur ouvert
A L'univers
Poursuis ta quete
Sans regarder derriére
N'attends pas
Que le jour
Se léve
Suis ton étoile
Va jusqu'ou ton reve t'emporte
Un jour tu le toucheras
Si tu croix si tu croix si tu croix
En toi
Suis la lumiére
N'eneins pas la flamme que tu portes
Au fonds de toi souviens-toi
Que je croix que je croix que je croix
Que je croix
En toi
Someday I'll find you
Someday you'll find me to (erm.. to? or, too?)
And when I hold you close
I'll know that is true
Follow your heart
Let you love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe, I believe, I believe in you
Follow your dreams
Be yourself, an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you can not do
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you.
Lonely
The path you have chosen
A restless road
No turning back
One day you
Will find you light again
Don't you know
Don't let go
Be strong
Follow you heart
Let you love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you
Follow your dreams
Be yourself, an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you can not do
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you.
Tout seul
Tu t'en iras tout seul
Coeur ouvert
A L'univers
Poursuis ta quete
Sans regarder derriére
N'attends pas
Que le jour
Se léve
Suis ton étoile
Va jusqu'ou ton reve t'emporte
Un jour tu le toucheras
Si tu croix si tu croix si tu croix
En toi
Suis la lumiére
N'eneins pas la flamme que tu portes
Au fonds de toi souviens-toi
Que je croix que je croix que je croix
Que je croix
En toi
Someday I'll find you
Someday you'll find me to (erm.. to? or, too?)
And when I hold you close
I'll know that is true
Follow your heart
Let you love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe, I believe, I believe in you
Follow your dreams
Be yourself, an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you can not do
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you.
nak elakkan osteoporosis!!
skrg nie tgh buat research analysis ttg nutrition for elderly. jadi me bacelah artikel pasal osteoporosis... it means 'porous bones' aka the bones become weak and brittle.
wah~ gue tak nak tu berlaku pada gue bila dah tua nanti.. skrg nie pon, my leg bone mcm ade something wrong. nak kate bruise, bukan. but then again, me tk pasti whether it's my bone or muscle yang rasa sakit occasionally. the 'thing' starts after i took up tkd.. coz of the trainings, the pain, though not usually significant, never subsided completely. till now.
anyway, i got some tips that i read from the health promotion board website:
mcmane nak kurangkan risk of getting osteoporosis..
exercise: weight-bearing exercise - JOGGING, dancing and briskwalking... wah! mudah betul... heh.. nasib baik sejak masuk poly, me dah mula jogging (tp mase tkd training je.. =p)
another type of exercise is resistance exercise - PUSH-UPS and weightlifting. skrg nie, mase training jarang ade push-ups.... so i will have to 'cari semangat' to do it myself. heh.
dari segi makanan plak:
kite2 yang berumur 10-18 tahun perlukan 1000mg of calcium daily. my supervisor says that it's easy to reach that number daily. mula2, me pikir mcm byk sgt gitu... but bila dah tgk kt website HPB... ooh! senang je..
klw ade yg tk minat susu pon, ade food/beverage lain yg provide calcium =)
HIGH CALCIUM MILK POWDER
(brand ape eh?)
LOW FAT YOGURT
(good thing i've started eating yogurt since...last year? or was it last two years..?)
CHEESE
(no comment -.-")
IKAN BILIS
(lalalala.... klw ayah tahu betape BANYAKnye calcium ade dlm ikan bilis... haiz~ tkkn akan stop lah me di'encouraged'nye untuk mkn ikan bilis BANYAK2...)
CANNED SARDINE WITH BONE
(me makan lah jugak.... tapi tk favourite sgt.. klw kombinasi lauk menyelarakan, barulah me suke)
TAU HUAY
(suke suke SUKE nyeeee!!! ^_^)
SOYA BEAN DRINK
(sedap! tapi one glass - 250ml - tk provide byk sgt calcium ar.. 25mg je)
DRIED FIGS
(happy betul bila me dpt tahu yg buah tin adalah sumber calcium yg oomph! 5 biji - 95g - provide 240mg of calcium!! dah terbukti dah bahawa buah tin yang disebutkan dlm alQuran mmg sah khasiatnye! and i'll be happy to eat 10 or more dried figs, doubling the calcium it gives... like 500mg?)
DRIED APRICOT
(waah~ berita gembira lagi! tk sia2 me suke makan dried apricot.. bukan sahaje sedap, tapi ber-calcium! hehe..)
RAISINS
(good news lagi!)
PAPAYA
(pada zaman dahulu kala me tak minat makan buah nie...)
HIGH CALCIUM SOYA BEAN MILK
BREAD
(nak kate, roti nie mmg complete segala nutrients yang kite perlukan... err.. betul atau tidak? anyway, rajin2lah makan roti ye!)
ade byk lagi source of calcium... tapi me tk letak kt sini. cari sendiri. hah!
oh! and get at least 30-60 minutes of sunshine per day. we need vitamin D which increases calcium absorption from the intestines.
plus, i just found out that smoking causes early menopause in women, apart from bone loss.
ok. that's all for now. gotta go! hope this information benefits you!
wah~ gue tak nak tu berlaku pada gue bila dah tua nanti.. skrg nie pon, my leg bone mcm ade something wrong. nak kate bruise, bukan. but then again, me tk pasti whether it's my bone or muscle yang rasa sakit occasionally. the 'thing' starts after i took up tkd.. coz of the trainings, the pain, though not usually significant, never subsided completely. till now.
anyway, i got some tips that i read from the health promotion board website:
mcmane nak kurangkan risk of getting osteoporosis..
exercise: weight-bearing exercise - JOGGING, dancing and briskwalking... wah! mudah betul... heh.. nasib baik sejak masuk poly, me dah mula jogging (tp mase tkd training je.. =p)
another type of exercise is resistance exercise - PUSH-UPS and weightlifting. skrg nie, mase training jarang ade push-ups.... so i will have to 'cari semangat' to do it myself. heh.
dari segi makanan plak:
kite2 yang berumur 10-18 tahun perlukan 1000mg of calcium daily. my supervisor says that it's easy to reach that number daily. mula2, me pikir mcm byk sgt gitu... but bila dah tgk kt website HPB... ooh! senang je..
klw ade yg tk minat susu pon, ade food/beverage lain yg provide calcium =)
HIGH CALCIUM MILK POWDER
(brand ape eh?)
LOW FAT YOGURT
(good thing i've started eating yogurt since...last year? or was it last two years..?)
CHEESE
(no comment -.-")
IKAN BILIS
(lalalala.... klw ayah tahu betape BANYAKnye calcium ade dlm ikan bilis... haiz~ tkkn akan stop lah me di'encouraged'nye untuk mkn ikan bilis BANYAK2...)
CANNED SARDINE WITH BONE
(me makan lah jugak.... tapi tk favourite sgt.. klw kombinasi lauk menyelarakan, barulah me suke)
TAU HUAY
(suke suke SUKE nyeeee!!! ^_^)
SOYA BEAN DRINK
(sedap! tapi one glass - 250ml - tk provide byk sgt calcium ar.. 25mg je)
DRIED FIGS
(happy betul bila me dpt tahu yg buah tin adalah sumber calcium yg oomph! 5 biji - 95g - provide 240mg of calcium!! dah terbukti dah bahawa buah tin yang disebutkan dlm alQuran mmg sah khasiatnye! and i'll be happy to eat 10 or more dried figs, doubling the calcium it gives... like 500mg?)
DRIED APRICOT
(waah~ berita gembira lagi! tk sia2 me suke makan dried apricot.. bukan sahaje sedap, tapi ber-calcium! hehe..)
RAISINS
(good news lagi!)
PAPAYA
(pada zaman dahulu kala me tak minat makan buah nie...)
HIGH CALCIUM SOYA BEAN MILK
BREAD
(nak kate, roti nie mmg complete segala nutrients yang kite perlukan... err.. betul atau tidak? anyway, rajin2lah makan roti ye!)
ade byk lagi source of calcium... tapi me tk letak kt sini. cari sendiri. hah!
oh! and get at least 30-60 minutes of sunshine per day. we need vitamin D which increases calcium absorption from the intestines.
plus, i just found out that smoking causes early menopause in women, apart from bone loss.
ok. that's all for now. gotta go! hope this information benefits you!
into the first week of holiday
1. i am accepted in this semester's differential research program (DRP).. i got my first choice. and apparently, i had forgotten what my 3 choices were, let alone the 1st choice! so, when i got a call from Ms Ong Eng Gim, who introduced herself as my research supervisor, i was like... wow! i got the opportunity this time! but... err.. what did i pick? O_o i checked my tp email just now and found out that the research is on nutrition; something about menu analysis.
2. my schedule from tomorrow till 16 march is packed!! wAaAAArrggghhh~~!! ehem. what i mean by 'packed' is that everyday i go out. NI matters, facilitating in a camp (more of that below), tkd, zoo outing with classmates, DRP briefing and labrador park outing with tahfiz friends. tiring, you know! all these eat up the one week school holiday.. camne nak adekan gathering dgn sec42005?! budak2 kuis, dq, poly ok ah.. tapi mwti, maarif, zuhri, pergas?
3. there was a briefing for Character Building Camp for Underprivileged Children at Sunbeam Place (the camp venue).. this camp is organised by SMU.. and they invite TP Community Club Sub-Comms to be volunteers for the camp.. there are 15 of us. 5 to help in the games, 10 to facilitate the groups. we didnt see the children, though the principal did give us the ground rules, the do's and dont's... oooOoOoOOoo.. the camp is for 2 and a half days, no sleeping over. that's good for me =)
4. now that the tkd ivp's over, it's back to kickin' targets and whatnots.. fuh~ i felt like i was doing the kicks for the first time on tuesday night.. we focused on pattern for like.. more than one month? so, my still-not-improving kicking skills have somewhat wilted. but then again, it felt good to be kicking around again.. lalalalalala... never mind that i improve slower than the others!
5. to be honest, i really dont have high hopes for my semester two results. my gpa was 3.02 last semester, and after some calculations (with actual incidents, not numbers) and measurements, i am afraid i may fall lower than 3.02. disappointed? OF COURSE im disappointed with myself! i have never failed to disappoint, on one occasion or another, havent i?
6. how come i couldnt access to aszafirah's blog page? aiyo~~ mcm tk sah plak klw me tk visit blognye.. heh.
7. the pursuit of happyness is soo ordinary.. soo subtle.. soo human, that my eyes were filled with tears of understanding, empathy and pure joy at the end of the movie.
stay tuned!
young sports leaders seminar at SMU - 3 march 2007
Taekwondo Open at NTU - 2, 3 & 4 march 2007
Taekwondo Open at NTU - 2, 3 & 4 march 2007
on a happier note ^.^
alhamdulillah~ the exams are over. and now im looking forward to the a month and a half holiday. *jumping upanddown with joy!! wheee~~*
ironically though, i dont feel somewhat relieved that the worst is over. instead, the feeling was more of an acknowledgement. like, "oh. ok. exam dah habis." hmm... maybe im at my hyperpolarization state (hah! merepek! sape2 yang belajar hpi tahu2 je lah ape yg me bebelkan!)
ok ok. so as my post title says, today's paper ended on a happier note. better than the other 3 days. not that those 3 previous papers were terrible, horrible, horrendous... but a miracle happened today, and it really left me feeling blessed and cared for..
the truth is, i was not motivated to study for cellb. i ate a lot, slept for 4 hours, ate again, plus i couldnt study in my room coz my grandmother slept there. so, i was deprived of a suitable study area. and then, my stomach was full and it was getting late. plus, i was mentally discouraged, seeing how i had done for the 3 previous papers. simply said, i didnt really study hard for cellb.
but, but, but!!
it was as though someone showed me which topics to cover. i mean, i knew i didnt have enough time, so i had to choose which topics, subtopics, info that were important, by prediction, of course. usually, the topics i covered were not enough, meaning, i missed imporant information here and there, thus affecting my marks.
so, today, a miracle happened. Allah had given me 'ilham' to actually study the certain notes. and indeed, they came out in the exam! structured questions and essay questions... hamdan lillah! i knew the answers, except for one particular question which i didnt put an emphasis on earlier, and which i had some regrets.. but never mind! plus, i never knew which topics were important and which weren't coz i wasnt paying attention during the cellb revision lecture. but you know what? i was really grateful that i didnt! coz... topics 1 and 5 were supposedly not important, but about 2-4 structured/essay questions were on those topics! luckily for me, i had covered the 'sure-come-out-one!' points from those notes. but for some of my friends, it was an unpleasant suprise....
to sum it up, today's paper really sent me sunshine amidst the rain. a wonderful, cheerful sunshine!
and today, i went to alsagoff. after more than... 3 months? and i was happy to see my teachers, nafisah, juniors! yippee!
but most of all, i was really happy to see mardhiah, aszafirah, fadhilah and adibah in the mrt on my way home! for the past one year, i've never ever seen them in the mrt.. mostly because i seldom take the mrt... and that ride with them wrapped up my happy day!
^_^
ironically though, i dont feel somewhat relieved that the worst is over. instead, the feeling was more of an acknowledgement. like, "oh. ok. exam dah habis." hmm... maybe im at my hyperpolarization state (hah! merepek! sape2 yang belajar hpi tahu2 je lah ape yg me bebelkan!)
ok ok. so as my post title says, today's paper ended on a happier note. better than the other 3 days. not that those 3 previous papers were terrible, horrible, horrendous... but a miracle happened today, and it really left me feeling blessed and cared for..
the truth is, i was not motivated to study for cellb. i ate a lot, slept for 4 hours, ate again, plus i couldnt study in my room coz my grandmother slept there. so, i was deprived of a suitable study area. and then, my stomach was full and it was getting late. plus, i was mentally discouraged, seeing how i had done for the 3 previous papers. simply said, i didnt really study hard for cellb.
but, but, but!!
it was as though someone showed me which topics to cover. i mean, i knew i didnt have enough time, so i had to choose which topics, subtopics, info that were important, by prediction, of course. usually, the topics i covered were not enough, meaning, i missed imporant information here and there, thus affecting my marks.
so, today, a miracle happened. Allah had given me 'ilham' to actually study the certain notes. and indeed, they came out in the exam! structured questions and essay questions... hamdan lillah! i knew the answers, except for one particular question which i didnt put an emphasis on earlier, and which i had some regrets.. but never mind! plus, i never knew which topics were important and which weren't coz i wasnt paying attention during the cellb revision lecture. but you know what? i was really grateful that i didnt! coz... topics 1 and 5 were supposedly not important, but about 2-4 structured/essay questions were on those topics! luckily for me, i had covered the 'sure-come-out-one!' points from those notes. but for some of my friends, it was an unpleasant suprise....
to sum it up, today's paper really sent me sunshine amidst the rain. a wonderful, cheerful sunshine!
and today, i went to alsagoff. after more than... 3 months? and i was happy to see my teachers, nafisah, juniors! yippee!
but most of all, i was really happy to see mardhiah, aszafirah, fadhilah and adibah in the mrt on my way home! for the past one year, i've never ever seen them in the mrt.. mostly because i seldom take the mrt... and that ride with them wrapped up my happy day!
^_^
the first leg of race
aaah~ i cant believe the first year of study is nearly over. to tell you the truth, tertiary studies period is definitely shooooorrrter than primary/secondary level. the fact is, we have looooonger holidays and shorter school term. yey! =)
and indeed, second semester's seen the worst change in me. i always woke up late. arrived at school super duper late. skipped lectures. aah~ what a wonderful life! *thick with sarcasm* and the same old habit of mine, that is not doing homework, still persists. yeah, that's me. oh! another thing, i slept more in lectures. couldnt help it, i think.
so yeah, i noticed that i spent most of the time in school learning nothing. err.. that's a bit exaggerating, you know that. but, it's true, one way or another.
leadership and character. class T02. not all were present. standing 3rd from the left-front row is our tutor, Ms Marie Chan. next to her, the girl in white pants, is Uyanga, from Mongolia... yep! i have a friend from Mongolia. how coool is that? but i've yet to get to know her more.. hmmm... so far, i have friends from myanmar, the philippines, china and indonesia. and brunei. and taiwan.
and indeed, second semester's seen the worst change in me. i always woke up late. arrived at school super duper late. skipped lectures. aah~ what a wonderful life! *thick with sarcasm* and the same old habit of mine, that is not doing homework, still persists. yeah, that's me. oh! another thing, i slept more in lectures. couldnt help it, i think.
so yeah, i noticed that i spent most of the time in school learning nothing. err.. that's a bit exaggerating, you know that. but, it's true, one way or another.
above is my arts appreciation tutor, Ms Sandra Lim. sitting beside her is sheena. then, me, xue mei and man lin. all applied science students. man lin lives just two blocks away from my house! it was very very very suprising when i saw her in 969 shortly after boarding the bus from my home bustop! just imagine, all your life, you never knew this person exist...n tada! one day, you're in the same class as her, and you found out she's practically your neighbour!! what a small world. what a small world!!
leadership and character. class T02. not all were present. standing 3rd from the left-front row is our tutor, Ms Marie Chan. next to her, the girl in white pants, is Uyanga, from Mongolia... yep! i have a friend from Mongolia. how coool is that? but i've yet to get to know her more.. hmmm... so far, i have friends from myanmar, the philippines, china and indonesia. and brunei. and taiwan.
and here are the 5 out of 6 malay girls in my class. with our communication skills tutor, Ms Jocelyn Lee. this semester's comm skills is the best class yet! wheee~~ it definitely helped me boost my presentation skills, plus confidence and formal etiquettes. overall, i had 3 presentations this semester. alhamdulillah~ i did ok (minus the content factor, of course. i think i screw up/waste a lot of the marks there).
oh! speaking of presentations..... in leadership and character, my group did on Alex Ferguson, ManU's manager. the picture above was taken on our presentation day. it was the last class for the subject too. anyway, prior to our turn, i was shivering like mad. serious!! it's been a looooooooooooooong time since i felt the same degree of nervousness. in 2003, when i was one of the supporters for Alsagoff in the PSTE quiz, i felt the strong, uncontrollable shaking too. the feeling was tremendous, really! to think of it, i didnt know why i was damn nervous about the leadership presentation. my legs were literally shaking, like the vortex machine in the lab. fuh~
the end of semester also marks the end of TP life for several of my seniors whom i've come to know and enjoy being with... especially kak khadijah, kak haswani, kak fadzillah... all of them from NI.... haiz~ suddenly, i feel a sense of foreboding... hmmm... how will NI be without our near-to-graduation brothers and sisters. kite2 yang 1st year and 2nd year masih agak mentah lagi.... plus our networking is not strong.
ok ok.... next topic:
i heard from a friend of mine that my alsagoff juniors did not-so-good in english. and maths. hmm.. im sure some of them fared well.. and i am indeed very proud and happy for my sec42005 friends who did far better than their previous attempt. and for those who didnt do well, i shall not offer you sympathy or apology. coz i know that you wont accept that. so let me just say this: you did good.
hmmm... i must say, im still quite amazed that i got A1 for English. seeing that some of my juniors didnt do well, i thought, " how could mine have been so easy? was it easier than this recent one? or are we all justified? " and i must say, that getting A1 for English in the best thing that has happened to me. it surpasses everything i've achieved, be it medals, trophies, top position in class, whatever! i dont care about all that. even the C5 for biology doesnt hamper the joy that i felt and feel. getting that A1 for that particular subject really lifts up my mood, my spirits.
and i am forever thankful to You for this suprising, yet wonderful gift. =)
ok, i think this is long enough for my readers' and my own reading satisfaction. so i shall end here.
to farahin: you feel honoured?? hehe.... kenape plak? kite bukannye princess ke celebrity =p *ish~ kelakar lah dekni..hehe*
dah halal certified rupenye!
i just found out that
CAFE GALILEE and ROTIBOY
are halal!
alhamdulillah~~
cafe galilee: libraries @ bedok, orchard, ang mo kio, jurong east, queenstown, pasir ris, sengkang, woodlands
rotiboy: ang mo kio, beach road, bedok, bugis junction, china square, marina square, parkway parade, raffles place, tampines mall
and rupe2nye, ade pizza hut stall kt singapore polytechnic.... (soh kan?)
CAFE GALILEE and ROTIBOY
are halal!
alhamdulillah~~
cafe galilee: libraries @ bedok, orchard, ang mo kio, jurong east, queenstown, pasir ris, sengkang, woodlands
rotiboy: ang mo kio, beach road, bedok, bugis junction, china square, marina square, parkway parade, raffles place, tampines mall
and rupe2nye, ade pizza hut stall kt singapore polytechnic.... (soh kan?)
o level result jumaat ni!!!
oh.my.god. oh my god ohmygod ohmygod OMG OMG OMG!!!
eh, kejap!
kenape aku yg kecoh pasal result o level ni??! kan dah lame over...
pfft.
never mind.
anyway, especially to my juniors, dan kepada muslims yg ambil o level tahun lepas amnye:
it seems that you can now do nothing to change your result. the outcome. wonderful or dreadful. i just want to share with you one thing: pray. du'a.
yes. that's the key..... in reality, you can still make du'a..... not pray so that your grades will change miraculously, but pray that you can, will, accept whatever verdict that you may get.
it's hard, you know. sometimes you are just bogged down with regret, shame, that you might have not done enough for your o level.... or tied with uncertainty, or suddenly bloated with confidence... it's mixed up.
the most important thing is, you redha with your result. however hard, saddening, disappointing it may be......... that's why you must pray to Allah...ask Him for the utmost strength, to face the reality, to try not to quelch in anger, humiliation...whatsoever.
i mean, you dont know what to expect right? you could get a not-so-good result when you were confident that you would pass with flying colours. or you could just crack under the pressure of not knowing.... wanttoknow, dontwanttoknow.
that was what i did. du'a. coz i was just so worried that i might react irrationally/emotionally when the result comes. i prayed that Allah will strengthen my heart, mind and body to go through the result day, n days after that, and to not give up and give in to syaitan..
*ish~ sebenarnye, susah betul me nak sampaikan ape yg terbuku dlm hati... leceh betul ah tulis dlm bahase inggeris nih!*
pendek kata:
jangan lupa doa ye?
agar Allah tenangkan hati, beri kesabaran dan juga ketabahan pada diri. oh! dan tk lupa juga, kekuatan untuk harungi hari2 yg akan dtg. klw putus asa pon, biarlah rase putus asa itu hilang dgn segera, jadi kite tk dwell dlm kesedihan dan langsung terpengaruh dgn emosi.. jika kite memang layak terima result yg tk baik disebabkan kurang usaha, kurniakanlah rase redha atas kesilapan kite tu... sbb kite manusia ni selalu aje kesal dgn kesilapan lalu... bila dah kesal, tk boleh nak move on... jadi kite mesti berdoa agar rase kesal tu tk terbawak2 smpi menjejas judgement kite..
"Ya Allah, jika aku mendapat keputusan yang baik, lindungilah aku dari rase riak... bangga.."
"walau ape pon keputusannye, kuatkanlah hati ini.."
dan minta kepada Allah, tunjukkan jalan yang terbaik untuk kite ambil...bukakan hati kite, lapangkan dada kite untuk lihat pilihan yang Allah dah tetapkan..... moga2 kite mendapat pimpinan Allah dalam membuat keputusan seterusnya..
Amiin...
it's the least you can do, yet the best thing you should do while waiting for the Big-O day~~
p/s: actually, i still cant get over my o level days.... up until the time when i saw the result... *huge sigh*
eh, kejap!
kenape aku yg kecoh pasal result o level ni??! kan dah lame over...
pfft.
never mind.
anyway, especially to my juniors, dan kepada muslims yg ambil o level tahun lepas amnye:
it seems that you can now do nothing to change your result. the outcome. wonderful or dreadful. i just want to share with you one thing: pray. du'a.
yes. that's the key..... in reality, you can still make du'a..... not pray so that your grades will change miraculously, but pray that you can, will, accept whatever verdict that you may get.
it's hard, you know. sometimes you are just bogged down with regret, shame, that you might have not done enough for your o level.... or tied with uncertainty, or suddenly bloated with confidence... it's mixed up.
the most important thing is, you redha with your result. however hard, saddening, disappointing it may be......... that's why you must pray to Allah...ask Him for the utmost strength, to face the reality, to try not to quelch in anger, humiliation...whatsoever.
i mean, you dont know what to expect right? you could get a not-so-good result when you were confident that you would pass with flying colours. or you could just crack under the pressure of not knowing.... wanttoknow, dontwanttoknow.
that was what i did. du'a. coz i was just so worried that i might react irrationally/emotionally when the result comes. i prayed that Allah will strengthen my heart, mind and body to go through the result day, n days after that, and to not give up and give in to syaitan..
*ish~ sebenarnye, susah betul me nak sampaikan ape yg terbuku dlm hati... leceh betul ah tulis dlm bahase inggeris nih!*
pendek kata:
jangan lupa doa ye?
agar Allah tenangkan hati, beri kesabaran dan juga ketabahan pada diri. oh! dan tk lupa juga, kekuatan untuk harungi hari2 yg akan dtg. klw putus asa pon, biarlah rase putus asa itu hilang dgn segera, jadi kite tk dwell dlm kesedihan dan langsung terpengaruh dgn emosi.. jika kite memang layak terima result yg tk baik disebabkan kurang usaha, kurniakanlah rase redha atas kesilapan kite tu... sbb kite manusia ni selalu aje kesal dgn kesilapan lalu... bila dah kesal, tk boleh nak move on... jadi kite mesti berdoa agar rase kesal tu tk terbawak2 smpi menjejas judgement kite..
"Ya Allah, jika aku mendapat keputusan yang baik, lindungilah aku dari rase riak... bangga.."
"walau ape pon keputusannye, kuatkanlah hati ini.."
dan minta kepada Allah, tunjukkan jalan yang terbaik untuk kite ambil...bukakan hati kite, lapangkan dada kite untuk lihat pilihan yang Allah dah tetapkan..... moga2 kite mendapat pimpinan Allah dalam membuat keputusan seterusnya..
Amiin...
it's the least you can do, yet the best thing you should do while waiting for the Big-O day~~
p/s: actually, i still cant get over my o level days.... up until the time when i saw the result... *huge sigh*
i couldn't have imagined
i attended sapphite today (or is it 'tonight'?), an appreciation night organised by saff-perdaus.
it was all ok =) not much in the aturcara, however, overall, it was fine with me.. i got a certificate (recognising individual's contribution to saff in the past year).. but it was not mine. there was another liana (different spelling ya!), so the certificate was meant for her. but the emcee didnt say the full name. nvm, i wasnt really embarrassed anyway. afterwards, i gave the cert to liana, and i got mine eventually =)
i received another unofficial proposal some time during the event... hmmm... i will have to think about it...
oh, yes. about the title of this post:
you see... i cant really believe that i am now involved in a youth-student body/organization/department. i mean, 3 years ago i was busy looking after my school's student society..other than that, competitions and studies...
starting from zip project, i became an observer. and i had a kind of ambition, i think, that one day, i would like to be part of the youth activism (is there such a word??), to actually organize events for other youths/children, to be in the project team.. bla bla bla..
n now, here i am. studying in TP has indeed opened a doorway to this ambition of mine. first, i was introduced to Nur Ikhwan, then NYPMS, n somehow, i got to be a part of ramadhan rocks, a ramadhan project by saff. if you notice, the muslim youth organisations are indeed networking with each other. i mean, from what i know and see, a person in NI is also involved in NYPMS (MVAC, that is) n also contributes in saff, and sometimes, fmsa. or maybe, mendaki.
ingat lagi... zip project was the first experience for me, as to be involved in youth volunteering. at that time, i was sure that i was the only alsagoffian to be involved in the workforce. heh. it was like a special opportunity for me. maybe what i had seen and learn would be useful for my managerial and organisational skills in prisma. oh! n there were alsagoffians involved: they volunteered in zip to streets, i think (i remembered 'ziptoschool' je..)..
i did not know anyone. everything was new to me. so it wasnt a suprise that my part was minute. i couldnt really recall the significance of my role. i was posted to saff centre, which was one of the 'zipcentres'... i did packing of items into the ziplock bags, received and passed few phonecalls. that was it, i guess.
of course, this was also the time i started to become aware of youth activities.. n the familiar faces that were behind them.. i still remember some of the people whom i met during the zip project, n though some of them do not know me, i remember their faces. and those faces i saw/see/will see again about 1+ year(s) later and beyond.
yesterday, i was unknown. and i did not really make friends with the sisters. today, i was part of them, and tomorrow i'll get to meet, properly introduce myself and know more of those familiar faces =)
im not involved in any mosque's youth wing, though. coz i choose not to. for some reasons.
well, i guess, what im trying to say is, baru sekaranglah..bila dah keluar sekolah..akhirnye me dapat libatkan diri dlm aktiviti2 belia...bukanlah maksudnye, mase kt alsagoff dulu, i was restricted/prevented from joining, tapi it was more like, i didnt have the real intentions, nor the right channels and contacts. sekarang, alhamdulillah~, me diberi peluang...
and like i said, these muslim youths im talking about, they're interconnected. =)
it's kinda amazing - all the things that have happened around, and finally, to me. it's God's beautiful and subtle work =)
talk about fate! =p
it was all ok =) not much in the aturcara, however, overall, it was fine with me.. i got a certificate (recognising individual's contribution to saff in the past year).. but it was not mine. there was another liana (different spelling ya!), so the certificate was meant for her. but the emcee didnt say the full name. nvm, i wasnt really embarrassed anyway. afterwards, i gave the cert to liana, and i got mine eventually =)
i received another unofficial proposal some time during the event... hmmm... i will have to think about it...
oh, yes. about the title of this post:
you see... i cant really believe that i am now involved in a youth-student body/organization/department. i mean, 3 years ago i was busy looking after my school's student society..other than that, competitions and studies...
starting from zip project, i became an observer. and i had a kind of ambition, i think, that one day, i would like to be part of the youth activism (is there such a word??), to actually organize events for other youths/children, to be in the project team.. bla bla bla..
n now, here i am. studying in TP has indeed opened a doorway to this ambition of mine. first, i was introduced to Nur Ikhwan, then NYPMS, n somehow, i got to be a part of ramadhan rocks, a ramadhan project by saff. if you notice, the muslim youth organisations are indeed networking with each other. i mean, from what i know and see, a person in NI is also involved in NYPMS (MVAC, that is) n also contributes in saff, and sometimes, fmsa. or maybe, mendaki.
ingat lagi... zip project was the first experience for me, as to be involved in youth volunteering. at that time, i was sure that i was the only alsagoffian to be involved in the workforce. heh. it was like a special opportunity for me. maybe what i had seen and learn would be useful for my managerial and organisational skills in prisma. oh! n there were alsagoffians involved: they volunteered in zip to streets, i think (i remembered 'ziptoschool' je..)..
i did not know anyone. everything was new to me. so it wasnt a suprise that my part was minute. i couldnt really recall the significance of my role. i was posted to saff centre, which was one of the 'zipcentres'... i did packing of items into the ziplock bags, received and passed few phonecalls. that was it, i guess.
of course, this was also the time i started to become aware of youth activities.. n the familiar faces that were behind them.. i still remember some of the people whom i met during the zip project, n though some of them do not know me, i remember their faces. and those faces i saw/see/will see again about 1+ year(s) later and beyond.
yesterday, i was unknown. and i did not really make friends with the sisters. today, i was part of them, and tomorrow i'll get to meet, properly introduce myself and know more of those familiar faces =)
im not involved in any mosque's youth wing, though. coz i choose not to. for some reasons.
well, i guess, what im trying to say is, baru sekaranglah..bila dah keluar sekolah..akhirnye me dapat libatkan diri dlm aktiviti2 belia...bukanlah maksudnye, mase kt alsagoff dulu, i was restricted/prevented from joining, tapi it was more like, i didnt have the real intentions, nor the right channels and contacts. sekarang, alhamdulillah~, me diberi peluang...
and like i said, these muslim youths im talking about, they're interconnected. =)
it's kinda amazing - all the things that have happened around, and finally, to me. it's God's beautiful and subtle work =)
talk about fate! =p
an Invitation to me
i just dont know what to say!
with school, school work, more school, school, studies, taekwondo trainings, tutoring, group presentationssss.... i just dont know if i can accept this invitation.
my shoulders felt heavy immediately as i read the invitation letter, was told about the reasons my being invited. my heart still feels heavy. no, wait! it's my thoracic cavity that feels heavy. hah!
heavy with what?? i know, i dunno, i know.... ergh! maybe discouragement, dread... *why is my body having a shivering sensation now?* dissatisfaction...
" I am now pleased to invite you to be part of this vibrant Saff management team. You have been specially recommended by your peers in Saff, to head the the Ramadhan project , under the Programme Management Division . This is testament to your strong leadership and managerial skills, as well as our confidence in your commitment to da'wah and volunteer work. We believe that we have much to learn from you, and that this will be a wonderful learning opportunity for us as a team. "
i dont have to make a decision hastily, of course. n to think of it, this task is some sort of a long term one... it's after my exams anyway..
but, there is something that disturbs me. a lot. that i cant voice it out to anyone. not without the doubt that anyone would want to listen and understand.
with school, school work, more school, school, studies, taekwondo trainings, tutoring, group presentationssss.... i just dont know if i can accept this invitation.
my shoulders felt heavy immediately as i read the invitation letter, was told about the reasons my being invited. my heart still feels heavy. no, wait! it's my thoracic cavity that feels heavy. hah!
heavy with what?? i know, i dunno, i know.... ergh! maybe discouragement, dread... *why is my body having a shivering sensation now?* dissatisfaction...
" I am now pleased to invite you to be part of this vibrant Saff management team. You have been specially recommended by your peers in Saff, to head the the Ramadhan project , under the Programme Management Division . This is testament to your strong leadership and managerial skills, as well as our confidence in your commitment to da'wah and volunteer work. We believe that we have much to learn from you, and that this will be a wonderful learning opportunity for us as a team. "
i dont have to make a decision hastily, of course. n to think of it, this task is some sort of a long term one... it's after my exams anyway..
but, there is something that disturbs me. a lot. that i cant voice it out to anyone. not without the doubt that anyone would want to listen and understand.
my third TKD grading
i was damn nervous yesterday (sunday, 7 jan 07)... nervous-wrecked, to be more accurate... it was quite unnerving, to see myself getting nervous, scared, worried, coz for all i know, i had practised quite well for the grading pattern.
looking deeper, i realised that the feeling bubbled like a boiling pot coz i felt more pressured.. i wanted to get a double promotion.. yes, my little self had whispered to my bigger self that i should get the double promo this time.. considering my moves had more strength..
oh! how humiliating it was! I was humiliated by my own self! you should know your place, young lady! just go bit by bit lah~! why must you crave for that double promotion?? want to get on the fast track is it?? duh!
anyway...im having strong feelings that i will not get the double promo. coz.. hmm.. 3 of my tkd friends were asked to do their patterns again. this usually means that there is a possibility of getting double promotion. 2 guys, as i watched them, did well. 1 girl, i didnt see, coz she stood behind me.. but i reckon she did well too.. but, repeating ur pattern can also mean that you did not fare well the first time. so the judge will ask you to do it again, to see if you'll do better or the same or worse. and this will lead to whether you pass or fail.
no double promo..i guess it's ok.. at least i know that i pass this grading. i just know, you know =) coz there werent really any glitches when i was doing my pattern. *ermmm...do i sound over-confident?? coz im not. im being realistic*
ok, so.. i took pictures! yey! =)
most of the year 1 tkdians who went for the grading.. another 3 or 4 people not in the picture..
i like this picture most! see the background, the station where my friends n i were graded is not in the picture (it's wayy on the right side)
the girls.. not in the picture: shin rong
the guys.. sickos! i said dont move, right???! now look what happen to the picture!
stubborn! serve you right to be displayed here in my blog..with all you antics! boys~~ -_-'
we were all not ready!
supposed to be a serious-face shot.. but who cares! haha!
with jia ling.. black-belt. she was from ITE..*fuh~ mesti budak pandai ar* now in TPenggineering.. =)
with pei yong, the girl who possibly will get a double promotion =) we get along well with each other =)
and by the way, this is my IVP pattern team: janice, pei yong, liyana and yanning. though it is still subject to change.. coach will the select the best to represent TP.. mmMmMmm.. ::
bye!
looking deeper, i realised that the feeling bubbled like a boiling pot coz i felt more pressured.. i wanted to get a double promotion.. yes, my little self had whispered to my bigger self that i should get the double promo this time.. considering my moves had more strength..
oh! how humiliating it was! I was humiliated by my own self! you should know your place, young lady! just go bit by bit lah~! why must you crave for that double promotion?? want to get on the fast track is it?? duh!
anyway...im having strong feelings that i will not get the double promo. coz.. hmm.. 3 of my tkd friends were asked to do their patterns again. this usually means that there is a possibility of getting double promotion. 2 guys, as i watched them, did well. 1 girl, i didnt see, coz she stood behind me.. but i reckon she did well too.. but, repeating ur pattern can also mean that you did not fare well the first time. so the judge will ask you to do it again, to see if you'll do better or the same or worse. and this will lead to whether you pass or fail.
no double promo..i guess it's ok.. at least i know that i pass this grading. i just know, you know =) coz there werent really any glitches when i was doing my pattern. *ermmm...do i sound over-confident?? coz im not. im being realistic*
ok, so.. i took pictures! yey! =)
most of the year 1 tkdians who went for the grading.. another 3 or 4 people not in the picture..
i like this picture most! see the background, the station where my friends n i were graded is not in the picture (it's wayy on the right side)
the girls.. not in the picture: shin rong
the guys.. sickos! i said dont move, right???! now look what happen to the picture!
stubborn! serve you right to be displayed here in my blog..with all you antics! boys~~ -_-'
we were all not ready!
supposed to be a serious-face shot.. but who cares! haha!
with jia ling.. black-belt. she was from ITE..*fuh~ mesti budak pandai ar* now in TPenggineering.. =)
with pei yong, the girl who possibly will get a double promotion =) we get along well with each other =)
and by the way, this is my IVP pattern team: janice, pei yong, liyana and yanning. though it is still subject to change.. coach will the select the best to represent TP.. mmMmMmm.. ::
bye!
disorganized.
i need to clean up the mess in my life.
my everyday schedule..
my commitments..
all are now jumbled up.. i need to organize them into suitable routines.
naik pening sey biler pikir pasal ni!
main subjects, cds, cca, tutoring, tahfiz, MS, social life... and the-most-probable-thing-to-happen dpi.
shrug.
*newest update*
tk jadi nak enrol for DPI *huge relief for me, really!* coz of... not sure if it's appropriate to be mentioned here. sorry.
*end of newest update*
ok, another week is upon us..
so have a good week ahead!
my everyday schedule..
my commitments..
all are now jumbled up.. i need to organize them into suitable routines.
naik pening sey biler pikir pasal ni!
main subjects, cds, cca, tutoring, tahfiz, MS, social life... and the-most-probable-thing-to-happen dpi.
shrug.
*newest update*
tk jadi nak enrol for DPI *huge relief for me, really!* coz of... not sure if it's appropriate to be mentioned here. sorry.
*end of newest update*
ok, another week is upon us..
so have a good week ahead!
The Attraction
ah, yes, ladies and gentlemen... after months of waiting, we're finally here to witness the most anticipating confession by none other by the writer herself.
*winks*
haha..ok, cut the crap!
hmmm..one of the challenges in poly for me, personally, is facing beautiful and good-looking creatures of the male homo sapien sapiens. beautiful? well, yes. i shall not take back that word, albeit using it to describe men..
again, cut the crap! nak gunekan bahase purely english susah ah....susah nak explain ape yg kite nak sampaikan! blergh!
ok, so... mmg hari2 ujian kt sekolah... tapi tk heran jugak ah... sbb dah biase.. lagipon, me bukan jenis yg nampak lelaki wasim je terus "eh! handsomenye lelaki nie" or "tgk kt situ..yang pakai baju merah tu... handsome sey.." YUCK! sakit telinge dengar... tapi... unfortunately, me ade kwn2 sekolah yg macam gitu..jadi terpakselah buat muke selamba bila diorg ckp mcm gitu... kadang2 tu... topic lelaki boleh memanjang plak.... bagi me, isinye cukup tk penting... baik dari memberi gelaran kpd si fulan, kepada cerite "semalam aku chat dgn dekni..." bla bla bla..
kawan2 yg dah kenal me lame mungkin tahu lelaki bagaiman yg me tertarik.. alamak..me tersenyum2 sendiri plak kt sini!... klw tkde yg tahu pon, tkpe.. biar hati me mnie, hanye Tuhan je yg tahu =)
that's why bila ade gathering MSes (Muslim Societies)...or ape2 je event yg melibatkan belia Melayu Islam...me hesitant nak join... walaupon ilmu/pengalaman menunggu disana...tapi me selalu pikir... ramai lelaki ke tidak eh... takut tergugat iman.. silap2, baik niat kite nak tuntun ilmu, niat kite dicemari dgn actions dan pikiran2 yang tk betul..
haiz~
ok... i remembered a cousion of mine (you know who you are!) asking me if i have had crushes before..i answered something like "of course! im a human.." n dia nak tahu sape.. haha! no way that im gonna tell you! but..thinking about it.. i dont think i mind sharing it with my readers... coz it's my past, when i was still quite naive and...i dunno..it's funny when i remember all these..the days of yore.. and i dont think most of you will know who i'll be talking about.. maybe some, or few, of you..
here goes:
my first crush, i think, was a friend of my brother. hah! i was...maybe 7,8,9 or 10 years old back then.. hehe.. dia wasim.. mmg tk dinafikan. as i got older, rase crush2 nie sume dgn sendirinye hilang. lagipon, me tk tahu ape khabar dia skrg.. pendek kate, semuanye normal.. if you ask me, kecil2 dah suke2 org..kwn abang sendiri plak tu, ape yg menariknye ttg dia? hahaha... maaf, me tk dpt nak jwb tu.. sbb me pon tk tahu! haha!
then, my next crush was a relative of me. yes.. as some of you might know.. i dont really talk to my male relatives... dari kecil lagi dah malu2 sakan... plus the fact that me jarang jumpe sedare-mare.. haha! mungkin period yang ketare ialah pri - secondary.. skrg nie, although rase malu masih ade, tapi me dah boleh anggap mereka sbg "just another human being and relative". i dont think you know what i mean. never mind. plus, i have more confidence to talk to them.. yeah..i think another factor would be my level of confidence...dulu2 tu masih low..
so, anyway, klw tk silap bila me ade crush dgn si fulan yg pertama tu overlap dgn yg si fulan kedua.. astaghfirullah~~ bila me pikir balik, camnelah perasaan nie boleh timbul dlm diri me yg masih budak2 nie! setan ni jahat betul! muda2 lagi dia dah kacau kite! and of course, perasaan tu pudar dgn sendirinye. tapi lame tau! bertahun2 baru dah ok. ade jugak penyebab kenape rase suka tu lame hilang. tapi me tk nk disclose kt sini sbb perkare tu adelah satu clue yg obvious skali =)
then...........................
haaa~~ the next one... me pasti some of my friends tahu.. you know who you are my friends... and you know who that person is... klw tk silap, i first saw this person when i was in primary 5. mase tu tk rase ape2...then, ntah eh bila, perasaan suka tu ade... ianya berlarutan sampai menengah 3 gitu...time menengah 4 pon mase ade sisa2 kot.
it was, i daresay, the strongest feeling i had for someone. yes, childish and immature as it sounds, that was what happened. the person doesnt know i exist. i do not know the person personally. all i know is, he's intelligent. n that's what turns me on, usually. it was a hopeless thing, indeed. n a particular friend of mine knows how i actually felt, coz i did confide in her. yes, you know who you are... and im asking you now, if you read this, to keep the matter to yourself ok? forever. coz i know i can trust you.
hmmm... intense feeling, it was. there was no happiness. just empty longings. timid hopes that...urgh~ i dunno what!..i finally got over this person... he is doing well now. and i pray that he is happy and successful, his faith remains strong.
now?
well... mainly infatuation, i admit. poly students.. even org yg tk pernah me jumpe, tp pernah chat, me ade 'crush' ..tk ke merepek tu! kesian bro tu, jadi mangsa! haha..
*4.33am now*
ironinye, org2 yang me ade crush nie adelah org2 yg me tk kenal. what i mean is, they're not my friends n im not their friend.
bila pikir2 balik.... org2 yg single mcm me nie pon tk lepas dari ujian. ye, mmg kite bersih dari maksiat "berpegangan tangan, bergayut kt talipon, etc etc dgn matair".. tapi pada hakikatnye, kite diuji sejauh mane kite mampu menundukkan pandangan, bercakap dgn rajul bila perlu, jage pergaulan, jage hati jgn smpi perasaan yg tk elok timbul, jaga penampilan dan perilaku agar tidak menarik perhatian lelaki.... masya Allah! mmg susah sgt!! sangat2 sukar!
sedangkan dgn sepupu lelaki sendiri, apakah kite jage pergaulan kite dgn dia/mereka????
~sebenarnye, yang biase tu lah yang luarbiase..~
me selalu ingat kate2 nie....sape yg cakap eh? is it mase one of the NI usrah??
sedangkan aku ni seorang hafizah... betape sukarnye untukku menegakkan pendirianku, membela akhlak dan didikan yg telah lama disemai dlm diri, mempraktikkan Islam. betape sukarnye untukku melaksanakan tanggungjawabku sebagai seorg muslimah yg hafizah!! sedangkan al-Quran ade di bahuku..!
Ya Allah~ lindungilah aku daripada menjadi fitnah kepada lelaki... dan jauhkanlah mereka daripadaku, agar hatiku terpelihara...Ya Allah~~
ok, itu je, kawan2...
me bukanlah seorg yg all-round baik... me pasti, ade junior2 yang bace nie akan terkejut bhw kakak kite yg satu nie ade crush kt org... yelah, kt alsagoff dulu selalu strict, berdisiplin.. hehe... simply said, im not an angel, ok?
ape yg penting, kite kena curb feeling2 nie sume... me sendiri tk approve org2 yang bercintan-cintun nie, biarpun mereka kwn2 me sendiri..or my juniors/seniors.. me pelik, do you actually chuck out all that religious knowledge that you've learned? and, without guilty, erase the awareness from you heart and mind? are you denying that God is All-Seeing and All-knowing?
me sedih bile pikirkan nie sume...lebih sedih lagi bila pikir yg me masih kekurangan courage untuk berdepan dgn org mcm gini... ~sikit demi sedikit wahai diri, Allah akan beri kekuatan..~
*4.57am now*
walau apepun, me tetap anggap kamu sebagai kwn... like i said, in the end, you are simply you =)
baiklah, sampai sini je me nak tulis. dah tk smpi hati nak pakse diri untuk stay awake.. aniaya diri jek!
ok... see you around!
p/s: ape yg me tulis nie mungkin tk clear, atau agak draggy..paham2 je lah ye, pagi2 bute me tulis...jadi tahap pemikiran dan rasionaliti tidak optimal.
*winks*
haha..ok, cut the crap!
hmmm..one of the challenges in poly for me, personally, is facing beautiful and good-looking creatures of the male homo sapien sapiens. beautiful? well, yes. i shall not take back that word, albeit using it to describe men..
again, cut the crap! nak gunekan bahase purely english susah ah....susah nak explain ape yg kite nak sampaikan! blergh!
ok, so... mmg hari2 ujian kt sekolah... tapi tk heran jugak ah... sbb dah biase.. lagipon, me bukan jenis yg nampak lelaki wasim je terus "eh! handsomenye lelaki nie" or "tgk kt situ..yang pakai baju merah tu... handsome sey.." YUCK! sakit telinge dengar... tapi... unfortunately, me ade kwn2 sekolah yg macam gitu..jadi terpakselah buat muke selamba bila diorg ckp mcm gitu... kadang2 tu... topic lelaki boleh memanjang plak.... bagi me, isinye cukup tk penting... baik dari memberi gelaran kpd si fulan, kepada cerite "semalam aku chat dgn dekni..." bla bla bla..
kawan2 yg dah kenal me lame mungkin tahu lelaki bagaiman yg me tertarik.. alamak..me tersenyum2 sendiri plak kt sini!... klw tkde yg tahu pon, tkpe.. biar hati me mnie, hanye Tuhan je yg tahu =)
that's why bila ade gathering MSes (Muslim Societies)...or ape2 je event yg melibatkan belia Melayu Islam...me hesitant nak join... walaupon ilmu/pengalaman menunggu disana...tapi me selalu pikir... ramai lelaki ke tidak eh... takut tergugat iman.. silap2, baik niat kite nak tuntun ilmu, niat kite dicemari dgn actions dan pikiran2 yang tk betul..
haiz~
ok... i remembered a cousion of mine (you know who you are!) asking me if i have had crushes before..i answered something like "of course! im a human.." n dia nak tahu sape.. haha! no way that im gonna tell you! but..thinking about it.. i dont think i mind sharing it with my readers... coz it's my past, when i was still quite naive and...i dunno..it's funny when i remember all these..the days of yore.. and i dont think most of you will know who i'll be talking about.. maybe some, or few, of you..
here goes:
my first crush, i think, was a friend of my brother. hah! i was...maybe 7,8,9 or 10 years old back then.. hehe.. dia wasim.. mmg tk dinafikan. as i got older, rase crush2 nie sume dgn sendirinye hilang. lagipon, me tk tahu ape khabar dia skrg.. pendek kate, semuanye normal.. if you ask me, kecil2 dah suke2 org..kwn abang sendiri plak tu, ape yg menariknye ttg dia? hahaha... maaf, me tk dpt nak jwb tu.. sbb me pon tk tahu! haha!
then, my next crush was a relative of me. yes.. as some of you might know.. i dont really talk to my male relatives... dari kecil lagi dah malu2 sakan... plus the fact that me jarang jumpe sedare-mare.. haha! mungkin period yang ketare ialah pri - secondary.. skrg nie, although rase malu masih ade, tapi me dah boleh anggap mereka sbg "just another human being and relative". i dont think you know what i mean. never mind. plus, i have more confidence to talk to them.. yeah..i think another factor would be my level of confidence...dulu2 tu masih low..
so, anyway, klw tk silap bila me ade crush dgn si fulan yg pertama tu overlap dgn yg si fulan kedua.. astaghfirullah~~ bila me pikir balik, camnelah perasaan nie boleh timbul dlm diri me yg masih budak2 nie! setan ni jahat betul! muda2 lagi dia dah kacau kite! and of course, perasaan tu pudar dgn sendirinye. tapi lame tau! bertahun2 baru dah ok. ade jugak penyebab kenape rase suka tu lame hilang. tapi me tk nk disclose kt sini sbb perkare tu adelah satu clue yg obvious skali =)
then...........................
haaa~~ the next one... me pasti some of my friends tahu.. you know who you are my friends... and you know who that person is... klw tk silap, i first saw this person when i was in primary 5. mase tu tk rase ape2...then, ntah eh bila, perasaan suka tu ade... ianya berlarutan sampai menengah 3 gitu...time menengah 4 pon mase ade sisa2 kot.
it was, i daresay, the strongest feeling i had for someone. yes, childish and immature as it sounds, that was what happened. the person doesnt know i exist. i do not know the person personally. all i know is, he's intelligent. n that's what turns me on, usually. it was a hopeless thing, indeed. n a particular friend of mine knows how i actually felt, coz i did confide in her. yes, you know who you are... and im asking you now, if you read this, to keep the matter to yourself ok? forever. coz i know i can trust you.
hmmm... intense feeling, it was. there was no happiness. just empty longings. timid hopes that...urgh~ i dunno what!..i finally got over this person... he is doing well now. and i pray that he is happy and successful, his faith remains strong.
now?
well... mainly infatuation, i admit. poly students.. even org yg tk pernah me jumpe, tp pernah chat, me ade 'crush' ..tk ke merepek tu! kesian bro tu, jadi mangsa! haha..
*4.33am now*
ironinye, org2 yang me ade crush nie adelah org2 yg me tk kenal. what i mean is, they're not my friends n im not their friend.
bila pikir2 balik.... org2 yg single mcm me nie pon tk lepas dari ujian. ye, mmg kite bersih dari maksiat "berpegangan tangan, bergayut kt talipon, etc etc dgn matair".. tapi pada hakikatnye, kite diuji sejauh mane kite mampu menundukkan pandangan, bercakap dgn rajul bila perlu, jage pergaulan, jage hati jgn smpi perasaan yg tk elok timbul, jaga penampilan dan perilaku agar tidak menarik perhatian lelaki.... masya Allah! mmg susah sgt!! sangat2 sukar!
sedangkan dgn sepupu lelaki sendiri, apakah kite jage pergaulan kite dgn dia/mereka????
~sebenarnye, yang biase tu lah yang luarbiase..~
me selalu ingat kate2 nie....sape yg cakap eh? is it mase one of the NI usrah??
sedangkan aku ni seorang hafizah... betape sukarnye untukku menegakkan pendirianku, membela akhlak dan didikan yg telah lama disemai dlm diri, mempraktikkan Islam. betape sukarnye untukku melaksanakan tanggungjawabku sebagai seorg muslimah yg hafizah!! sedangkan al-Quran ade di bahuku..!
Ya Allah~ lindungilah aku daripada menjadi fitnah kepada lelaki... dan jauhkanlah mereka daripadaku, agar hatiku terpelihara...Ya Allah~~
ok, itu je, kawan2...
me bukanlah seorg yg all-round baik... me pasti, ade junior2 yang bace nie akan terkejut bhw kakak kite yg satu nie ade crush kt org... yelah, kt alsagoff dulu selalu strict, berdisiplin.. hehe... simply said, im not an angel, ok?
ape yg penting, kite kena curb feeling2 nie sume... me sendiri tk approve org2 yang bercintan-cintun nie, biarpun mereka kwn2 me sendiri..or my juniors/seniors.. me pelik, do you actually chuck out all that religious knowledge that you've learned? and, without guilty, erase the awareness from you heart and mind? are you denying that God is All-Seeing and All-knowing?
me sedih bile pikirkan nie sume...lebih sedih lagi bila pikir yg me masih kekurangan courage untuk berdepan dgn org mcm gini... ~sikit demi sedikit wahai diri, Allah akan beri kekuatan..~
*4.57am now*
walau apepun, me tetap anggap kamu sebagai kwn... like i said, in the end, you are simply you =)
baiklah, sampai sini je me nak tulis. dah tk smpi hati nak pakse diri untuk stay awake.. aniaya diri jek!
ok... see you around!
p/s: ape yg me tulis nie mungkin tk clear, atau agak draggy..paham2 je lah ye, pagi2 bute me tulis...jadi tahap pemikiran dan rasionaliti tidak optimal.
insomniac?
urgghh~
im damn tired now. it's 3am in the morning and i still havent closed my eyes. i spent the night editing Communication Skills presentation PPT slides... putting in the animation n stuff. but what took me sooo long was choosing the right headings, with designs from flamingtext.com. in the process, i discovered quite a number of attractive and pleasant-to-my-eyes designs blended into 1 by myself...though the gallery for headings has limited designs, the fonts are interesting to look at... =)
hah~~ i just thought...why dont i stay up the whole night? that would be nice, wouldnt it? -.-" and later, i will get a nice dark rings around my eyes. *3.24am now*
oo... i've added few of my favourite songs here. except for 'winter' and 'victory'... i enjoy listening to those songs, but the ones i put here are different from what i prefer. n im just too lazy to change songs. it's ironic, but im thankful.. that there is finally a way to play several songs at one go.. i still remember that few years ago, i was frustrated coz the music player can only cater for 1 music.. that was YEARS ago.. n now, voila! everything's made simple. thanks to.... umm... whoever those people are...im grateful! =)
actually, i dont have any class today...so my 'firstdayofschool' is tomorrow..but i have a group discussion later at 11am... then, tkd training at 6.30pm...in between, im gonna do some errands... *heaven!* hehe...this is the good thing about poly life... whenever there's break time, you can just get out to anywhere you want..provided that the break is long ah....2 hours..3 hours..4 hours.. yeah, definitely a good thing.
*3.31am now*
2007's here and it seems...
it seems as though it was just now, or yesterday, or the day before yesterday, that i was 'free'....in the sense that i was without any school, or job, happy and yet confused and worried... i was in that position, indeed. how far have i come now? hmmm... i've moved on... and now it's my juniors turn to be in my shoes, n the shoes of all my predecessors.. i guess all of us must go through that particular stage.
looking back,
ouh~
i just dont know what to say...
as much as i want to return to that place, to embrace those moments, to relive the past... as much i want to keep them all..
i could only touch the wind.. the memories carress in between my fingers.. n fade away...
as much as i want to hold dear to those memories, to play them again and again in my mind...
i could only look from afar... wishing againt all odds that i was there again..
when i remember little stuff about my past.... or think of my friends... there is always a knot in my heart... tightness in my chest.. is it longing? yes, i do think of you, my friend. oh, how i remember your smile and laugh! it doesnt matter if our principles are different, or that you do things that are of my disliking..in the end, you are simply you =)
*3.46am now*
ok, my head feels a bit tight right now. tight? err...i dunno how else to describe the sensation.. pardon my lack of vocabulary..
i shall stop now. though i would love to write another post =p
im damn tired now. it's 3am in the morning and i still havent closed my eyes. i spent the night editing Communication Skills presentation PPT slides... putting in the animation n stuff. but what took me sooo long was choosing the right headings, with designs from flamingtext.com. in the process, i discovered quite a number of attractive and pleasant-to-my-eyes designs blended into 1 by myself...though the gallery for headings has limited designs, the fonts are interesting to look at... =)
hah~~ i just thought...why dont i stay up the whole night? that would be nice, wouldnt it? -.-" and later, i will get a nice dark rings around my eyes. *3.24am now*
oo... i've added few of my favourite songs here. except for 'winter' and 'victory'... i enjoy listening to those songs, but the ones i put here are different from what i prefer. n im just too lazy to change songs. it's ironic, but im thankful.. that there is finally a way to play several songs at one go.. i still remember that few years ago, i was frustrated coz the music player can only cater for 1 music.. that was YEARS ago.. n now, voila! everything's made simple. thanks to.... umm... whoever those people are...im grateful! =)
actually, i dont have any class today...so my 'firstdayofschool' is tomorrow..but i have a group discussion later at 11am... then, tkd training at 6.30pm...in between, im gonna do some errands... *heaven!* hehe...this is the good thing about poly life... whenever there's break time, you can just get out to anywhere you want..provided that the break is long ah....2 hours..3 hours..4 hours.. yeah, definitely a good thing.
*3.31am now*
2007's here and it seems...
it seems as though it was just now, or yesterday, or the day before yesterday, that i was 'free'....in the sense that i was without any school, or job, happy and yet confused and worried... i was in that position, indeed. how far have i come now? hmmm... i've moved on... and now it's my juniors turn to be in my shoes, n the shoes of all my predecessors.. i guess all of us must go through that particular stage.
looking back,
ouh~
i just dont know what to say...
as much as i want to return to that place, to embrace those moments, to relive the past... as much i want to keep them all..
i could only touch the wind.. the memories carress in between my fingers.. n fade away...
as much as i want to hold dear to those memories, to play them again and again in my mind...
i could only look from afar... wishing againt all odds that i was there again..
when i remember little stuff about my past.... or think of my friends... there is always a knot in my heart... tightness in my chest.. is it longing? yes, i do think of you, my friend. oh, how i remember your smile and laugh! it doesnt matter if our principles are different, or that you do things that are of my disliking..in the end, you are simply you =)
*3.46am now*
ok, my head feels a bit tight right now. tight? err...i dunno how else to describe the sensation.. pardon my lack of vocabulary..
i shall stop now. though i would love to write another post =p
late-night-short-updates
1. thanks to you-know-who-you-are..your words are prayers...i will be strong, insha Allah~
2. maybe i was a bit over the top in the previous post.
3. i think i cried because i thought i was lousy in sparring, and even kicking. i still am. lousy.
4. i got more bruises today. i think i can handle more of that in the future. right now, im just a little afraid to get hit. n hurt. physically, i mean. *wei! bruises take long time to heal ok? that's why i dont like to get hit! all the pain...aiyo! uncomfortable!..ehem..although sometimes i feel good..weird me huh?* i hope this fear of mine will cease as time goes by (and as i get more skilled and confident)..
5. i-guide camp tomorrow...til this friday. what's 'i-guide'? ans: tour guides during TP open house (19,20.21 january 2007). and i havent packed a thing.
6. NI's Gila2 Sukan last saturday (231206) was....fine. it went smoothly, in my opinion. how about myself? did i enjoy it? well, i didnt join in the fun and games. so yeah, i dont think that question applies to me. anyway, click here for pictures from the event.
7. i still havent started on my leadership and character's individual assignment. we have to do a 800-1500 word essay - or research, whatever you call it - on a movie that we chose from a given list. i chose armageddon. one of the tearjerkers i've seen. no, it's not about movie review. we'll get zero if we do that. our assignment is to observe the leader(s) in the movie, extract 5 learning points from him/her/them, substantiate with reasons and proofs, and personalise the point with our own point of view and experiences. anyway, the assignment is 50 marks and is due less than two weeks.
8. something to share: sometimes we want, hope, or wish for something too much, it hurts.
9. cd-rw drive is up! so i dont need thumbdrive anymore. for now, that is.
10. ok, im already tired. so that's all for tonight's post. thank you for reading this =)
2. maybe i was a bit over the top in the previous post.
3. i think i cried because i thought i was lousy in sparring, and even kicking. i still am. lousy.
4. i got more bruises today. i think i can handle more of that in the future. right now, im just a little afraid to get hit. n hurt. physically, i mean. *wei! bruises take long time to heal ok? that's why i dont like to get hit! all the pain...aiyo! uncomfortable!..ehem..although sometimes i feel good..weird me huh?* i hope this fear of mine will cease as time goes by (and as i get more skilled and confident)..
5. i-guide camp tomorrow...til this friday. what's 'i-guide'? ans: tour guides during TP open house (19,20.21 january 2007). and i havent packed a thing.
6. NI's Gila2 Sukan last saturday (231206) was....fine. it went smoothly, in my opinion. how about myself? did i enjoy it? well, i didnt join in the fun and games. so yeah, i dont think that question applies to me. anyway, click here for pictures from the event.
7. i still havent started on my leadership and character's individual assignment. we have to do a 800-1500 word essay - or research, whatever you call it - on a movie that we chose from a given list. i chose armageddon. one of the tearjerkers i've seen. no, it's not about movie review. we'll get zero if we do that. our assignment is to observe the leader(s) in the movie, extract 5 learning points from him/her/them, substantiate with reasons and proofs, and personalise the point with our own point of view and experiences. anyway, the assignment is 50 marks and is due less than two weeks.
8. something to share: sometimes we want, hope, or wish for something too much, it hurts.
9. cd-rw drive is up! so i dont need thumbdrive anymore. for now, that is.
10. ok, im already tired. so that's all for tonight's post. thank you for reading this =)
TKD training on thursday, 21 dec 2006
i was kicked.
hit.
smacked.
whacked.
on the right side of my head.
hard.
yep, that's right. you saw those words. i was kicked on my head during sparring with a senior. it was only my second spar.
the feeling?
i just couldnt explain it in words. i just couldnt.
all i know is, i was kind of stunned maybe. my head was like....whoa~! really felt like "a blow on your head"..that kind of thing. you would've imagined that i fell on the floor and fainted. but i didnt.
concussion? i dont even know what it means... but maybe, just a teeny-weeny bit of concussion, dizziness.
the blow affected me emotionally, though. it didnt crack open my skull, but it sure crack whatever emotions that were inside me. like a nutcracker.
the second my head was hit, i felt my tears starting to appear. but i held them fast. acted like everything's ok. i kept my cool alright. i remembered saying something like, "whoa~~ what an experience!" and i started asking questions like, "oh! if we kick on the head, we get more points?" "kicking the head is a very good tactic?" "what must you do to protect your head?" etc etc etc...just to keep my emotions at bay.
n so, i couldnt continue sparring. oh well~
the blow also shut my mood. suddenly, i was speechless (yes! a good word!)... i just sat here, or there, just looking who-knows-where, trying to look as if i was thinking and at the same time, i was calm, as if unaffected.
but cry i did. in the girls' changing room. in one of the changing cubicles. i sat on the floor, with my bottle of cold water, n cried. hypoventilated. talked to myself.
i didnt know EXACTLY why i cried. i honestly didnt. it was as if i was crying over lots of things, or nothing at all. ouh! as im typing this, i feel some sort of a knot around my head - or shall i say, brain? kind of tight. ya Allah~ i hope there's nothing wrong with my head.
in the bus, i cried again. not loudly. the tears just flowed down my cheeks. of course, i covered my face. if not, my friends who sat beside me in the bus would've noticed!
why, why, why did i cry?????
maybe i was angry too. i dont know. i was simply blurred by my own emotions. i didnt even know what they are..
anyway, just cut the crap! i got few pictures from the training =)
enjoy!
hit.
smacked.
whacked.
on the right side of my head.
hard.
yep, that's right. you saw those words. i was kicked on my head during sparring with a senior. it was only my second spar.
the feeling?
i just couldnt explain it in words. i just couldnt.
all i know is, i was kind of stunned maybe. my head was like....whoa~! really felt like "a blow on your head"..that kind of thing. you would've imagined that i fell on the floor and fainted. but i didnt.
concussion? i dont even know what it means... but maybe, just a teeny-weeny bit of concussion, dizziness.
the blow affected me emotionally, though. it didnt crack open my skull, but it sure crack whatever emotions that were inside me. like a nutcracker.
the second my head was hit, i felt my tears starting to appear. but i held them fast. acted like everything's ok. i kept my cool alright. i remembered saying something like, "whoa~~ what an experience!" and i started asking questions like, "oh! if we kick on the head, we get more points?" "kicking the head is a very good tactic?" "what must you do to protect your head?" etc etc etc...just to keep my emotions at bay.
n so, i couldnt continue sparring. oh well~
the blow also shut my mood. suddenly, i was speechless (yes! a good word!)... i just sat here, or there, just looking who-knows-where, trying to look as if i was thinking and at the same time, i was calm, as if unaffected.
but cry i did. in the girls' changing room. in one of the changing cubicles. i sat on the floor, with my bottle of cold water, n cried. hypoventilated. talked to myself.
i didnt know EXACTLY why i cried. i honestly didnt. it was as if i was crying over lots of things, or nothing at all. ouh! as im typing this, i feel some sort of a knot around my head - or shall i say, brain? kind of tight. ya Allah~ i hope there's nothing wrong with my head.
in the bus, i cried again. not loudly. the tears just flowed down my cheeks. of course, i covered my face. if not, my friends who sat beside me in the bus would've noticed!
why, why, why did i cry?????
maybe i was angry too. i dont know. i was simply blurred by my own emotions. i didnt even know what they are..
anyway, just cut the crap! i got few pictures from the training =)
enjoy!
it's about....
- manners and formalities
when i spoke to the speakers, when i addressed other people, when i talked to the officers, when i greeted strangers, i found myself sounding quite formal. mcm professional gitu. eh! im not bragging ok? im stating a point. that the workshop was a good place for me to practise my communication skills with new people - those who are older, or of higher rank, or of same age. ah, yes. today's encounter with people polished my so-called being polite and formal. n manners... penting tau. bile kite masuk working world, bile jumpe org2 baru, penting untuk kite menampilkan imej yg tertib. i mean, to show that kite pon civilised, n we know how to act professionally. saying thank you. speaking good english. listening attentively. smiling to show agreement, approval, respect. responding politely. yeah~ it's good to learn.
- being independent
im happy with myself, for being able to adapt n carry myself throughout the workshop... sebenarnye, me terpikir jugak nak ajak kawan pegi workshop tu. tapi tk kuase nk pikir2 sape. bila tgk peserta2 kt situ, rate2 semue bawak kawan. tapi alhamdulillah~ me tk perlukan kawan to cheer myself up, or to make the workshop less boring. bukan me berlagak sombong, tidak! no! again, im making a point, this time to myself, that i must practise being independent. berdikari. pergi ke tempat2. buat kawan baru. menyesuaikan diri. being independent doesnt mean that im a loner. duh!
- talking confidently
heran jugak bile pikir yang me mampu bercakap dlm bahase enggeris semase group presentation... alhamdulillah~ nasib baik bukan singlish! selalunye, bila berbual dgn kwn2 sekolah...grammar ke mane, vocab ke mane! cakap terbelit2, teragak2! tapi, dlm situasi2 formal seperti membuat presentation, mungkin otak kite kate "ok! kau kena cakap betul2. tk boleh main2. kena tunjukkn yg kau tahu bila nak cakap pasar, bile nak cakap formal"...hah! mungkin tu lah drive yg buat kite present betul2, not just to present ourselves, but to convey the message well. that's my opinion, anyway.
me perhatikan jugak, ade few peserta yg mampu project their voices, and contents, clearly. tampak confident. masya Allah~ bukan semua orang mampu untuk melakukan sebegitu baik. tetapi, yang pastinye, kite semua perlukan practice n more practice. nasib baik jugak me pergi workshop tu. dapat jugak practise my public speaking skill. pokoknye, kite kena cari ways to improve that particular skill. tk boleh nak duduk diam je.
- having choices
yeah, what dr Isa said...that we are spoiled for choice! ah~~ how true that statement seems, how true it really is! but pessimistic that i am, im still not convinced. choices? what choices do i have? what paths and roads to further education are there, lying in front of me?
we do have choices. choices is every aspect/categories/matters in our life. now, that's a fact, eh?
- plans
i realised that plans are important. though sometimes planning takes away more energy than executing. klw tkde perancangan, hidup nie terase messy. tk teratur. dah gitu, silap2 kite naik stress, buntu, bosan dgn hidup kite.
- making a fool of oneself
Ya Allah~~ kenape lah rase malu nie sikit sgt???? but still...ish~ buat malu je kena act jadi cucu nenek mase adegan 'nenek2 tk dpt lari' dlm cerite musang berjanggut. for the sake of being sporting?? tepuk dada tanye selera lah liyana! tapi, diri nie tkdelah rase malu smpi pipi kemerah2an... cuma pusing2 keliling si nenek je... nasib baik jugak rajul2 kt situ semua strangers!
- receiving a namecard
gembire jugak bila dapat namecard dari dr Isa. associate professor lagik. hehe.. bukan ape, nie 2nd time me dpt namecard... yang first punye... haiz~ mmg tk nk pon, tapi kak khadijah kasi jugak, "for future need".. pfft. namecard yg first tu, me stashed ntah mane2 je dlm bag.
- defining one's strength
yeah, so, i've discovered and rediscovered certain things about myself today. i guess, i dont really regret going to the lifeskills workshop after all. today, i noticed more, observed more, learnt more.
what i really want
do you know what i want?
have i ever told you what i want, dream to have, if not completely, then, in bits and pieces?
do you remember?
but,
do i know what i want?
hmmm... honestly, i dont really actually know what i really want. or maybe, i know what it is but am just afraid to admit it, put it on the surface... coz i am just afraid that i might not get it, n i know, or at least, assume, that i wont get it. that it is too far-fetched. yeah~ maybe that's the reason.
what i want, in terms of materialisticity (hah! is there such a word?? hehe..i dont think so. i just made it up. make it sound more bombastic! haha).... well, my birthday's over. but it wont hurt to list few things that are in mind so far, would it?
let me see...
1. thumbdrive. yep. i realised that i need a thumbdrive just a month ago or so. why?? coz my computer has no floppy disk hardware (correct term??)..you know, the part of cpu where we insert the floppoy disk. i was flabbergasted when i found out! all this while, i never even noticed that the floppy disk thingy was missing! to burn my files in cd is also impossible, coz i dont have the cd-rw (or is it cd-wr??) thingy....
2. laptop. i know damn well that it's out of my financial reach. but i would like to have a laptop one day. it really comes in handy when your home pc is being used frequently by other members of your family, or when you dont have the mood to use the computer but actually you have to, just because it's already late at night n you're tired. so, if i have a laptop, i can actually write my assignments and stuff during school hours...rather than at home, around 11pm...12am..1am..
n now, about what i dream to get..to achieve...
hmmm...im a bit embarrassed to write it here... coz it looks a little bit too ambitious...but never mind, coz i've decided to share with you...n to remind myself - if i ever read this entry again in future - what i had wanted during my teen years.
i would like to study in oxford. yes, oxford university. i dont know why. i dont have a concrete reason. well, that's not true. my reason is superficial, really: it is a prestigious university and it sounds old and grand.
or if not oxford, then somewhere in england. or ireland. or scotland. the states? no thanks, harvard and yale have the least appeal to me. plus, they're totally out of my league. princeton? MIT? wow! they are some to-die-for universities huh? but again, im not a genius. and looking at my average intelligence and discouraging attitude, i dont deserve to be enrolled there.
remembering a near past (i mean, something that is not so long ago), i had wanted to do an International Baccaleaurate (i dont know how to spell the second word). and at King Khalid Islamic College of Victoria. oh how i yearned to go there! n i cried thinking, trying to swallow the fact that i cant afford it, n im simply not good enough to be accepted there. yes, the second fact is true. you cant deny it, not you, my friends, not you, my teachers.
im the kind of person who finds it hard to let go of certain things. in this case, dreams or wishes that i had held so long, so dear. n even though getting into oxford seems miles n miles away, i just keep it in my heart. but, i keep it somewhere distant in my heart. coz, i dont want to put too much hope. coz it may hurt me later. furthermore, i may change my mind one day. so, there could be lesser chance that i might get disappointed with myself.
speaking of prestigious universities, let me tell you something about myself: im one of those people who get attracted to things intellectual, or scholarly, if you know what i mean. be it intellectual people, schools/institutions where a lot of intellectuals are found. call me shallow, whatever. i dont care.
i guess, all these popular, prestigious, excellent institutions, which have carved their marks in history, make people want to go there, to be part of them. people like me.
so, schools like RI, RGS, RJC, VJC...i must say, i am sometimes green with envy of those bright students there. not in a negative way..but positive. universities like oxford, cambridge, harvard, MIT,yale, princeton....well, ashamed that i am, these are the only excellent institutions that i know of. i may be blind with these all-too-well-known places. maybe i dont read enough. i must find out more universities that are of great standards n qualities.
oh, n is there an adjective for people like me, as i've described above? mind you, my vocabulary is horrifying, if not embarrassing. for a 17-year-old.
there! i've told you this little wish of mine. =)
but wait, if you ask me, if i cant go to europe, where else do i want to pursue my studies? for now, i choose australia. but i dont know which are the top universities there. n which universities offer the best degree (modules, system, facilities, achievements, etc) in the field that i plan to concentrate in.
to add on what i've already mentioned (that my reason is superficial), i think that as i grow older, more matured, more knowledgeable, more information at hand, i will start to think more than 'old and grand'. perhaps reasons that are more well-rounded, logic, according-to-needs, deep, if you know what i mean.
thinking again, wishing all these may as well be useless if i dont work towards them. i must think about my own capabilities, limitations that i have. shortly, i must think and decide rationally. i wasnt being quite rational when i wanted to go to KKICV. nevertheless, i must work my butt off, all body and spirit, to reach as high as i allow myself to be.
in the end, i must have The PhD. Passion. Hunger. and Drive. for excellence.
have i ever told you what i want, dream to have, if not completely, then, in bits and pieces?
do you remember?
but,
do i know what i want?
hmmm... honestly, i dont really actually know what i really want. or maybe, i know what it is but am just afraid to admit it, put it on the surface... coz i am just afraid that i might not get it, n i know, or at least, assume, that i wont get it. that it is too far-fetched. yeah~ maybe that's the reason.
what i want, in terms of materialisticity (hah! is there such a word?? hehe..i dont think so. i just made it up. make it sound more bombastic! haha).... well, my birthday's over. but it wont hurt to list few things that are in mind so far, would it?
let me see...
1. thumbdrive. yep. i realised that i need a thumbdrive just a month ago or so. why?? coz my computer has no floppy disk hardware (correct term??)..you know, the part of cpu where we insert the floppoy disk. i was flabbergasted when i found out! all this while, i never even noticed that the floppy disk thingy was missing! to burn my files in cd is also impossible, coz i dont have the cd-rw (or is it cd-wr??) thingy....
2. laptop. i know damn well that it's out of my financial reach. but i would like to have a laptop one day. it really comes in handy when your home pc is being used frequently by other members of your family, or when you dont have the mood to use the computer but actually you have to, just because it's already late at night n you're tired. so, if i have a laptop, i can actually write my assignments and stuff during school hours...rather than at home, around 11pm...12am..1am..
n now, about what i dream to get..to achieve...
hmmm...im a bit embarrassed to write it here... coz it looks a little bit too ambitious...but never mind, coz i've decided to share with you...n to remind myself - if i ever read this entry again in future - what i had wanted during my teen years.
i would like to study in oxford. yes, oxford university. i dont know why. i dont have a concrete reason. well, that's not true. my reason is superficial, really: it is a prestigious university and it sounds old and grand.
or if not oxford, then somewhere in england. or ireland. or scotland. the states? no thanks, harvard and yale have the least appeal to me. plus, they're totally out of my league. princeton? MIT? wow! they are some to-die-for universities huh? but again, im not a genius. and looking at my average intelligence and discouraging attitude, i dont deserve to be enrolled there.
remembering a near past (i mean, something that is not so long ago), i had wanted to do an International Baccaleaurate (i dont know how to spell the second word). and at King Khalid Islamic College of Victoria. oh how i yearned to go there! n i cried thinking, trying to swallow the fact that i cant afford it, n im simply not good enough to be accepted there. yes, the second fact is true. you cant deny it, not you, my friends, not you, my teachers.
im the kind of person who finds it hard to let go of certain things. in this case, dreams or wishes that i had held so long, so dear. n even though getting into oxford seems miles n miles away, i just keep it in my heart. but, i keep it somewhere distant in my heart. coz, i dont want to put too much hope. coz it may hurt me later. furthermore, i may change my mind one day. so, there could be lesser chance that i might get disappointed with myself.
speaking of prestigious universities, let me tell you something about myself: im one of those people who get attracted to things intellectual, or scholarly, if you know what i mean. be it intellectual people, schools/institutions where a lot of intellectuals are found. call me shallow, whatever. i dont care.
i guess, all these popular, prestigious, excellent institutions, which have carved their marks in history, make people want to go there, to be part of them. people like me.
so, schools like RI, RGS, RJC, VJC...i must say, i am sometimes green with envy of those bright students there. not in a negative way..but positive. universities like oxford, cambridge, harvard, MIT,yale, princeton....well, ashamed that i am, these are the only excellent institutions that i know of. i may be blind with these all-too-well-known places. maybe i dont read enough. i must find out more universities that are of great standards n qualities.
oh, n is there an adjective for people like me, as i've described above? mind you, my vocabulary is horrifying, if not embarrassing. for a 17-year-old.
there! i've told you this little wish of mine. =)
but wait, if you ask me, if i cant go to europe, where else do i want to pursue my studies? for now, i choose australia. but i dont know which are the top universities there. n which universities offer the best degree (modules, system, facilities, achievements, etc) in the field that i plan to concentrate in.
to add on what i've already mentioned (that my reason is superficial), i think that as i grow older, more matured, more knowledgeable, more information at hand, i will start to think more than 'old and grand'. perhaps reasons that are more well-rounded, logic, according-to-needs, deep, if you know what i mean.
thinking again, wishing all these may as well be useless if i dont work towards them. i must think about my own capabilities, limitations that i have. shortly, i must think and decide rationally. i wasnt being quite rational when i wanted to go to KKICV. nevertheless, i must work my butt off, all body and spirit, to reach as high as i allow myself to be.
in the end, i must have The PhD. Passion. Hunger. and Drive. for excellence.
what matters most in life
it's 12.52 in the morning, according to the small clock on my computer screen.
i guess you might be wondering, what the heck this girl is doing late at night?! well, i must say that this time is actually a good time for me to blog, albeit my eyes are getting uncomfortable staring at the screen. coz, one thing, there's no one to interrupt me. yey.
ok... so, i read kak khadijah's blog just now.... something about being grown up and thinking seriously, pondering about life.
i guess we arent kids anymore huh? living a carefree life? even back then, were we really that happy, having not to worry about stuff?
anyway, i think too. though i dont really do much thinking these days. being caught up in issues this, issues that, i forgot - or shall i say, dont have time - to actually sit and think. i miss that, sometimes. during my secondary school days, if you read my entries from the past years, i think i might have mentioned somewhere that i "think too much it hurts and tires me" or something like that.
n nowadays, whenever my brain's ticking, tocking, i would always forget what it's all about. n i dont get to write my thoughts here, properly.
never mind.
so, about this post's title:
hmmm... i've been questioning myself: what's important in my life? what matters? what is my priority?
n all these all-too-familiar-and-similar questions bring me back to the threshold: what's my purpose of life in the first place?
now that im in a different world in the same world, i couldnt help it but ask myself. n yet again, this important question is always brushed aside. coz i dont seem to care about it. oh! how have i changed!
i still remember, i once wrote in my little orang notebook - now lost - things that matters to me, in order of priority. but now, im not even sure if im holding on to that.
tahfiz.
how shall i put it? im just too embarrassed to admit it. it was once one of the top priorities in my teenage life. it still is. but only a priority. no number this time.
studies.
a friend of mine asked me just now, "have you studied?" and i said, "nope." emotionless. often, i wonder where my spirits have gone.. the happy, excited, always-on-the-go, puntual spirits.. the liveliness. sometimes, i wonder if it has been sapped out of me. because of what? i dare not say.
ahlulquranpts.
ouh~ i feel no spark now. just a little, maybe. where has the good time gone? maybe im such a loser.... a pathetic leader. saying it's a priority, holding on to it. but what good have i done to the group? i had wanted so much to be part of it, but now, i guess, i need to renew my intentions, my enthusiasm.
ccas.
i would like to be a well-rounded student, yes. oh! how i would love to! being able to juggle this, keeping that, doing those. the challenge is good. the experiences are just as well..... though.... i have a feeling it's starting to have a toll on me. n because of it, im jeopardizing my principles, my religion. one that i have held on for sooo long. one that, all these years, has not been tarnished nor tested.
Allah and his Rasul.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
what can i say, oh Allah?
You know my heart best!
im just afraid that my words would betray me.
im just so.........
shameful.
for not stopping to think.
to thank.
to cherish.
n im just sooo ashamed of what i've become.
so much for declaring that i love Allah and prophet Muhammad!
but what have i done to prove it!
n im not even trying!
n so much for priorities which i cannot hold.
n promises i cannot keep.
i guess, this is how it goes huh? me, getting all emotional, late at night, early in the morning... my tears arent even flowing. you hypocrite!
ok.
let me just get straight to the point.
in life, you must know what you are supposed to do. what you must do. what you need to do. along the middle, it's what you want to do. n somewhere in the back, what you're forbidden to dwell on to.
please, dont read the above paragraph again. coz you will never understand what i just wrote. coz i dont either.
i guess, what matters most in life is living life knowing, always, that you're going to die and meet Him. n then, the question will be, how do you want your end to be? that is, what have you prepared for the next life.
nothing else matters, except...
it's all up to you to decide. me, to decide. what matters to each and every one of us? i bet it's something worldly, something superficial. fake.
n no, i dont really think too much while writing this post. im already sleepy. not much feelings.
so, take no heed to my advice. pay no attention to my latenightearlymorning free talk.
it's all crap.
*im such a pessimist.puncturing my own self-esteem*
i guess you might be wondering, what the heck this girl is doing late at night?! well, i must say that this time is actually a good time for me to blog, albeit my eyes are getting uncomfortable staring at the screen. coz, one thing, there's no one to interrupt me. yey.
ok... so, i read kak khadijah's blog just now.... something about being grown up and thinking seriously, pondering about life.
i guess we arent kids anymore huh? living a carefree life? even back then, were we really that happy, having not to worry about stuff?
anyway, i think too. though i dont really do much thinking these days. being caught up in issues this, issues that, i forgot - or shall i say, dont have time - to actually sit and think. i miss that, sometimes. during my secondary school days, if you read my entries from the past years, i think i might have mentioned somewhere that i "think too much it hurts and tires me" or something like that.
n nowadays, whenever my brain's ticking, tocking, i would always forget what it's all about. n i dont get to write my thoughts here, properly.
never mind.
so, about this post's title:
hmmm... i've been questioning myself: what's important in my life? what matters? what is my priority?
n all these all-too-familiar-and-similar questions bring me back to the threshold: what's my purpose of life in the first place?
now that im in a different world in the same world, i couldnt help it but ask myself. n yet again, this important question is always brushed aside. coz i dont seem to care about it. oh! how have i changed!
i still remember, i once wrote in my little orang notebook - now lost - things that matters to me, in order of priority. but now, im not even sure if im holding on to that.
tahfiz.
how shall i put it? im just too embarrassed to admit it. it was once one of the top priorities in my teenage life. it still is. but only a priority. no number this time.
studies.
a friend of mine asked me just now, "have you studied?" and i said, "nope." emotionless. often, i wonder where my spirits have gone.. the happy, excited, always-on-the-go, puntual spirits.. the liveliness. sometimes, i wonder if it has been sapped out of me. because of what? i dare not say.
ahlulquranpts.
ouh~ i feel no spark now. just a little, maybe. where has the good time gone? maybe im such a loser.... a pathetic leader. saying it's a priority, holding on to it. but what good have i done to the group? i had wanted so much to be part of it, but now, i guess, i need to renew my intentions, my enthusiasm.
ccas.
i would like to be a well-rounded student, yes. oh! how i would love to! being able to juggle this, keeping that, doing those. the challenge is good. the experiences are just as well..... though.... i have a feeling it's starting to have a toll on me. n because of it, im jeopardizing my principles, my religion. one that i have held on for sooo long. one that, all these years, has not been tarnished nor tested.
Allah and his Rasul.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
what can i say, oh Allah?
You know my heart best!
im just afraid that my words would betray me.
im just so.........
shameful.
for not stopping to think.
to thank.
to cherish.
n im just sooo ashamed of what i've become.
so much for declaring that i love Allah and prophet Muhammad!
but what have i done to prove it!
n im not even trying!
n so much for priorities which i cannot hold.
n promises i cannot keep.
i guess, this is how it goes huh? me, getting all emotional, late at night, early in the morning... my tears arent even flowing. you hypocrite!
ok.
let me just get straight to the point.
in life, you must know what you are supposed to do. what you must do. what you need to do. along the middle, it's what you want to do. n somewhere in the back, what you're forbidden to dwell on to.
please, dont read the above paragraph again. coz you will never understand what i just wrote. coz i dont either.
i guess, what matters most in life is living life knowing, always, that you're going to die and meet Him. n then, the question will be, how do you want your end to be? that is, what have you prepared for the next life.
nothing else matters, except...
it's all up to you to decide. me, to decide. what matters to each and every one of us? i bet it's something worldly, something superficial. fake.
n no, i dont really think too much while writing this post. im already sleepy. not much feelings.
so, take no heed to my advice. pay no attention to my latenightearlymorning free talk.
it's all crap.
*im such a pessimist.puncturing my own self-esteem*
it's nearly the end of 3rd term.
acknowledgements:
1. ana ucapkan terima kasih kpd kak juwita dan juga ustazah sakinah di atas ucapan hari jadi yg diberikan =) begitu juga kpd kawan2 yang lain... terharu jugak bila ade org ingat.... sampai kwn2 kt DQ pon ingat.... syukran ye? ^_^
oh! for readers who dont know what im talking about, it's about birthday wishes. for me. n fyi, my birthday is not in december *just in case you got the wrong info*
2. to cuz: hey!!!! oops! i mean, assalamu `alaikum! fuyo~~ it's been a long time since i last saw you... hehe.. i've been wanting to know how you are, how your school is - environment, study, friends - aaahh~ hope you're doing well! but i dont know how to reach you. err... actually, i thought you have no internet connection there...or at least, you dont have you own personal laptop or something. *a bit too narrow-minded, me* so, i was quite suprised that you tagged.
-------------------------------------------
term test week's coming up!!
this coming monday, to be exact. aiyo~~ so much for wanting to get straight A's for this semester. i just hope i will NOT get any C..... klw dulu2 tu boleh lah...sebab C was for Cemerlang. heh. sekarang ni.....*fillintheblank*
on a happier note, the first HPI practical report, which my partner and i submitted veeerrry the late, well, we got 47/50! alhamdulillah~~! rase gembire, rase bersyukur, rase 'biar-betik!'... waduh~ hanye Tuhan je yang tahu! me asyik tgk2 je practical report...sapelah yg tk happy, rase bangge jugak (tp untuk diri sendiri ah~ bukan bangge smpi show off gitu!), all the rush, typing, squeezing of the brains, finding the right words....but all tainted with late submission..... akhirnye, kite dpt jugak markah yg memberangsangkan! my second HPI prac report pon ok jugak, 32/40...dgn 2 partners lain =)
hmmm...about my previous entries...well, i hope you wont misinterpret them.... im not living a sad, depressed life ok? my school life is practically normal. n i never felt better! struggling in school is a normal thing. n im doing ok.
plus, im recommending you this book: "Luna - a novel" by julie anne peters. the book's soooo damn touching, meaningful that my eyes were brimming with tears - tears of sympathy, sadness, painful joy.... what's the book about? go find out yourself! when i read the synopsis, i thought,"hey, why dont i give it a try? it's an interesting n controversial topic. i hope this book will shed some light on it...give new perspective...from the eyes of the main character n her brother"
yep. it's worth a read, guys! oh! n do read "define normal" too. by the same author.
you know what? im still thinking about writing the 'crushes' post. feel like writing now...but worry that i might drag the story until wayyyy toooo loooonggg *n boring too*
ok, i guess that's all the update i have for now. at least you know im still alive and kickin' =p
1. ana ucapkan terima kasih kpd kak juwita dan juga ustazah sakinah di atas ucapan hari jadi yg diberikan =) begitu juga kpd kawan2 yang lain... terharu jugak bila ade org ingat.... sampai kwn2 kt DQ pon ingat.... syukran ye? ^_^
oh! for readers who dont know what im talking about, it's about birthday wishes. for me. n fyi, my birthday is not in december *just in case you got the wrong info*
2. to cuz: hey!!!! oops! i mean, assalamu `alaikum! fuyo~~ it's been a long time since i last saw you... hehe.. i've been wanting to know how you are, how your school is - environment, study, friends - aaahh~ hope you're doing well! but i dont know how to reach you. err... actually, i thought you have no internet connection there...or at least, you dont have you own personal laptop or something. *a bit too narrow-minded, me* so, i was quite suprised that you tagged.
-------------------------------------------
term test week's coming up!!
this coming monday, to be exact. aiyo~~ so much for wanting to get straight A's for this semester. i just hope i will NOT get any C..... klw dulu2 tu boleh lah...sebab C was for Cemerlang. heh. sekarang ni.....*fillintheblank*
on a happier note, the first HPI practical report, which my partner and i submitted veeerrry the late, well, we got 47/50! alhamdulillah~~! rase gembire, rase bersyukur, rase 'biar-betik!'... waduh~ hanye Tuhan je yang tahu! me asyik tgk2 je practical report...sapelah yg tk happy, rase bangge jugak (tp untuk diri sendiri ah~ bukan bangge smpi show off gitu!), all the rush, typing, squeezing of the brains, finding the right words....but all tainted with late submission..... akhirnye, kite dpt jugak markah yg memberangsangkan! my second HPI prac report pon ok jugak, 32/40...dgn 2 partners lain =)
hmmm...about my previous entries...well, i hope you wont misinterpret them.... im not living a sad, depressed life ok? my school life is practically normal. n i never felt better! struggling in school is a normal thing. n im doing ok.
plus, im recommending you this book: "Luna - a novel" by julie anne peters. the book's soooo damn touching, meaningful that my eyes were brimming with tears - tears of sympathy, sadness, painful joy.... what's the book about? go find out yourself! when i read the synopsis, i thought,"hey, why dont i give it a try? it's an interesting n controversial topic. i hope this book will shed some light on it...give new perspective...from the eyes of the main character n her brother"
yep. it's worth a read, guys! oh! n do read "define normal" too. by the same author.
you know what? im still thinking about writing the 'crushes' post. feel like writing now...but worry that i might drag the story until wayyyy toooo loooonggg *n boring too*
ok, i guess that's all the update i have for now. at least you know im still alive and kickin' =p
let's talk
do you know the feeling
when sometimes
you're simply unsure who to talk to
about what is new, what is wrong, what is happening
about what you're going through
coz you doubt if anybody actually wants to listen
to your pain, complain, joy and laughter
if anybody actually understands what you're saying
your ideas, opinions, confessions and insights
n maybe, coz you're afraid people may judge you
afraid of the verdict
that you are not what you were
or that you were not what you are
do you know that feeling
when you hesitate to turn to your old friends
to confide, to share, to impart
the new experience and discoveries you've made
afraid that they may not be interested to hear all that
coz you're not in the same line anymore
just as well
when you hesitate to talk to your new friends
to tell them tales of your past
the stories of today
the dreams of tomorrow
coz you still dont know them enough
do you know the feeling
kind of lost
old friends - they dont know what you've become
and you dont want them to know who you are now
new friends - they dont know who you were back then
and you cant explain to them who your old self was
then who can you trust your feelings and thoughts with?
there's God.
oh! how many hours a day that you forget about Him?
how many seconds a day that you even think about Him?
how many times do you turn to Him and pray?
how many?
when sometimes
you're simply unsure who to talk to
about what is new, what is wrong, what is happening
about what you're going through
coz you doubt if anybody actually wants to listen
to your pain, complain, joy and laughter
if anybody actually understands what you're saying
your ideas, opinions, confessions and insights
n maybe, coz you're afraid people may judge you
afraid of the verdict
that you are not what you were
or that you were not what you are
do you know that feeling
when you hesitate to turn to your old friends
to confide, to share, to impart
the new experience and discoveries you've made
afraid that they may not be interested to hear all that
coz you're not in the same line anymore
just as well
when you hesitate to talk to your new friends
to tell them tales of your past
the stories of today
the dreams of tomorrow
coz you still dont know them enough
do you know the feeling
kind of lost
old friends - they dont know what you've become
and you dont want them to know who you are now
new friends - they dont know who you were back then
and you cant explain to them who your old self was
then who can you trust your feelings and thoughts with?
there's God.
oh! how many hours a day that you forget about Him?
how many seconds a day that you even think about Him?
how many times do you turn to Him and pray?
how many?
stressed?
im taking this opportunity to answer a question posted on my tagboard *since i cant tag...some 'cookie' problem or something*
honestly, im not sure if im stressed...because of poly life - school work, cca, or external activities that im involved in.
or maybe im denying the fact that im getting stresser day after day.
but i dont think that has happened, yet.
though i can feel some sort of panic seeping in... worry, yes. and maybe something else. afraid of failure??
nowadays, since i-dont-know-when, i sometimes imagine myelf - or hope to myself - that i dont have cca, or tutoring, or whatever else that is distrupting peaceful life. so i'll have more time to do my school work that is MOOOOOOOOOORRREEE important, and that i wont be RUSHING HERE AND THERE, WORRYING THAT I HAVENT DONE MY TUTORIAL, OR REVISED MY LECTURE NOTES, OR PANIC BECAUSE THERE'S A QUIZ COMING UP. sometimes i feel tired.
where's my focus gone to?
but then again, BAD HABITS DONT DIE OFF EASILY. a bad habit of mine is that i procrastinate. i rather do stuff other than studying. other people have their own 'comfortable' time to study, right? but, me? i simply dont know when the mood to study will come. it seems that 24/7 i have something else to do, and so, i postpone my assignments, tutorials, revision.
a PROMINENT bad habit: sleep sleep sleep. i feel sleepy during lectures, and sometimes i do doze off. i wake up late usually....so i'll be late for school. i sleep late, even though my eyes are demanding sleep *like now* what the heck are you doing late at night????????????? n when it's time to open my lecture notes, or at least read the instruction in the tutorial, i'll start to yawn...then decide that "oh! i want to sleep. tomorrow i'll do".... what da..?!!
im supposed to finish my lab report now. but suddenly, i dont feel like it. im gonna sleep right after this post. oh! i turned on the computer coz i had to check my email..... results,methods,diagram from my lab report teammates, ELF ALP program sheet for TP RAWKS from ELF yahoogroup...
oh! n disc report isnt graded...but i surely missed the chance to get to know myself better.
tkd? well......... WHY ARENT YOU GETTING YOUR KICKS RIGHT????????? THEY'RE ONLY BASIC KICKS!!! BY NOW, YOU SHOULD'VE AT LEAST BE GOOD AT THEM..... klw org yang tak tahu main bola namenye kaki bangku, klw org yang tk tahu nak tendang betul2, namenye ape???????????????????
urgh! the kicking part does get on my nerves sometimes!
hmmmm.... let me see.
life in poly is great, good, fun... it is. enjoyable.
i hope you wont judge poly life by JUST knowing how i am doing....
coz the problem here is ME, ME, ME.
thanks for raising that question =)
honestly, im not sure if im stressed...because of poly life - school work, cca, or external activities that im involved in.
or maybe im denying the fact that im getting stresser day after day.
but i dont think that has happened, yet.
though i can feel some sort of panic seeping in... worry, yes. and maybe something else. afraid of failure??
nowadays, since i-dont-know-when, i sometimes imagine myelf - or hope to myself - that i dont have cca, or tutoring, or whatever else that is distrupting peaceful life. so i'll have more time to do my school work that is MOOOOOOOOOORRREEE important, and that i wont be RUSHING HERE AND THERE, WORRYING THAT I HAVENT DONE MY TUTORIAL, OR REVISED MY LECTURE NOTES, OR PANIC BECAUSE THERE'S A QUIZ COMING UP. sometimes i feel tired.
where's my focus gone to?
but then again, BAD HABITS DONT DIE OFF EASILY. a bad habit of mine is that i procrastinate. i rather do stuff other than studying. other people have their own 'comfortable' time to study, right? but, me? i simply dont know when the mood to study will come. it seems that 24/7 i have something else to do, and so, i postpone my assignments, tutorials, revision.
a PROMINENT bad habit: sleep sleep sleep. i feel sleepy during lectures, and sometimes i do doze off. i wake up late usually....so i'll be late for school. i sleep late, even though my eyes are demanding sleep *like now* what the heck are you doing late at night????????????? n when it's time to open my lecture notes, or at least read the instruction in the tutorial, i'll start to yawn...then decide that "oh! i want to sleep. tomorrow i'll do".... what da..?!!
im supposed to finish my lab report now. but suddenly, i dont feel like it. im gonna sleep right after this post. oh! i turned on the computer coz i had to check my email..... results,methods,diagram from my lab report teammates, ELF ALP program sheet for TP RAWKS from ELF yahoogroup...
oh! n disc report isnt graded...but i surely missed the chance to get to know myself better.
tkd? well......... WHY ARENT YOU GETTING YOUR KICKS RIGHT????????? THEY'RE ONLY BASIC KICKS!!! BY NOW, YOU SHOULD'VE AT LEAST BE GOOD AT THEM..... klw org yang tak tahu main bola namenye kaki bangku, klw org yang tk tahu nak tendang betul2, namenye ape???????????????????
urgh! the kicking part does get on my nerves sometimes!
hmmmm.... let me see.
life in poly is great, good, fun... it is. enjoyable.
i hope you wont judge poly life by JUST knowing how i am doing....
coz the problem here is ME, ME, ME.
thanks for raising that question =)
what's WRONG with me.........????????????
mMmMmMmMmmmmmmmmmmmm
MmMmMmMmMmMmmMmmmMMMM...................
ya Allah~ ape nak jadi dgn aku ni...
sigh~
i just remembered just now....... that i forgot to do the DISC profile report!! betape paniknye aku! astaghfirullah~~ me betul2 tak ingat.... dari hari rabu yang lepas nie....sampailah hari nie!
padahal i've checked my TP email last week...ade email pasal bende ni, n my tutor pon dah beritahu... due date nye was friday yang baru lepas nih..... dah tak boleh nak access to the system..............
ya Allah~~ ape yg harus aku lakukan??
hmmm~ nampak sgt tk boleh nak negotiate dgn guru.... yelah, sbb reason tk valid.
ape aku nak jawab nanti mase tutorial this week.............?
n i bet the DISC report worths quite a lot!!!!!!!!!!!
n forgetful liyana has just blown up her chances of getting a distinction!
*maybe*
------------------------------------------------
you know, im getting *whatstheword??* as the days go by.....
i really want to do well this semester. n yet, im lagging behind...since the start of the semester.... maths dah masuk topic 3...... ape2 je yg me ingat...ntah! HPI.....pasal complement system.... cardiac cycle..... serological tests...... even cell bio pon me tk bace sgt notes nye.
and for leadership n character...........minggu lepas baru the FIRST TIME i sat for the lecture from first to end............selame 4or5 minggu me asyik lewat... sbb gi solat asar *heh...solat asar pon rilek2..padahal ade lecture!* ade satu kali tu, me baru je duduk, 3or4 minutes later, lecture dah habis...makneNYE.......i missed one whole lecture!
oh! n missing lectures is something that is 'normal' to me now. heh. especially last 2 weeks ago.. on a friday...sbb nak habiskan lab report, i skipped math lecture (2 hours), n cell bio lecture (1 hour).......... such a good attitude liyana! ni lah akibatnye kalau buat lab report last minute! end up, me hantar lab report tu 30 minutes later than the dateline (5pm)...
hmmmmmmmmmm~~
n yesterday, i think, i came across the article, mengenai top psle malay student tu.......... subhanallah~ dia seorang hafiz rupenye..... sedangkan aku ni..............
*feels like slapping her own face*
n this semester....fuh! tk boleh main2 ah~~ lebih2 lagi for leadership n arts nye subjects tu..... ade individual assignment, group project....dah tu semua adelah CORE things yg di ASSESSED.... so, percentage nye byk! tk boleh main2! kena berikan yg terbaik!
leadership tu plak..........byk nah concept nak kena ingat!
hmmmmmmmmmmmm......
math~
math~
math~
ntah lah eh............
ni lah akibatnye....sbb me tk *fillintheblank*
astaghfirullah~~~
i guess i've sidetracked a bit too far....i must come back.... back to my roots...
back to fitrah...
aaah~ yes. fitrah.
but, what is fitrah?
MmMmMmMmMmMmmMmmmMMMM...................
ya Allah~ ape nak jadi dgn aku ni...
sigh~
i just remembered just now....... that i forgot to do the DISC profile report!! betape paniknye aku! astaghfirullah~~ me betul2 tak ingat.... dari hari rabu yang lepas nie....sampailah hari nie!
padahal i've checked my TP email last week...ade email pasal bende ni, n my tutor pon dah beritahu... due date nye was friday yang baru lepas nih..... dah tak boleh nak access to the system..............
ya Allah~~ ape yg harus aku lakukan??
hmmm~ nampak sgt tk boleh nak negotiate dgn guru.... yelah, sbb reason tk valid.
ape aku nak jawab nanti mase tutorial this week.............?
n i bet the DISC report worths quite a lot!!!!!!!!!!!
n forgetful liyana has just blown up her chances of getting a distinction!
*maybe*
------------------------------------------------
you know, im getting *whatstheword??* as the days go by.....
i really want to do well this semester. n yet, im lagging behind...since the start of the semester.... maths dah masuk topic 3...... ape2 je yg me ingat...ntah! HPI.....pasal complement system.... cardiac cycle..... serological tests...... even cell bio pon me tk bace sgt notes nye.
and for leadership n character...........minggu lepas baru the FIRST TIME i sat for the lecture from first to end............selame 4or5 minggu me asyik lewat... sbb gi solat asar *heh...solat asar pon rilek2..padahal ade lecture!* ade satu kali tu, me baru je duduk, 3or4 minutes later, lecture dah habis...makneNYE.......i missed one whole lecture!
oh! n missing lectures is something that is 'normal' to me now. heh. especially last 2 weeks ago.. on a friday...sbb nak habiskan lab report, i skipped math lecture (2 hours), n cell bio lecture (1 hour).......... such a good attitude liyana! ni lah akibatnye kalau buat lab report last minute! end up, me hantar lab report tu 30 minutes later than the dateline (5pm)...
hmmmmmmmmmm~~
n yesterday, i think, i came across the article, mengenai top psle malay student tu.......... subhanallah~ dia seorang hafiz rupenye..... sedangkan aku ni..............
*feels like slapping her own face*
n this semester....fuh! tk boleh main2 ah~~ lebih2 lagi for leadership n arts nye subjects tu..... ade individual assignment, group project....dah tu semua adelah CORE things yg di ASSESSED.... so, percentage nye byk! tk boleh main2! kena berikan yg terbaik!
leadership tu plak..........byk nah concept nak kena ingat!
hmmmmmmmmmmmm......
math~
math~
math~
ntah lah eh............
ni lah akibatnye....sbb me tk *fillintheblank*
astaghfirullah~~~
i guess i've sidetracked a bit too far....i must come back.... back to my roots...
back to fitrah...
aaah~ yes. fitrah.
but, what is fitrah?
short update
1. i got ARTS APPRECIATION n LEADERSHIP & CHARACTER for my cross-disciplinary subjects. the former was my 3rd/4th choice...n the latter, i didnt even apply for it! tapi me reda je... pasti ade hikmah di sebalik tu... n im LOVIN' the tutorials!! *note: bukan lecture tau...tapi tutorial..heh!*
2. subjects for this semester:
- basic microbiology
- cell biology
- human physiology and immunology
- mathematics and statistics 2
- communication skills for applied science 2
- arts appreciation
- leadership and character
3. my basic micrology lecturer is cute! a bit lame also.... but never mind! haha~~ excuse me eh, cute here is not cute face, superficial... it's more to his antics.... ketawanye pon kelakar... *smiling to myself* n my class got him for our tutor!!! yeah~~~!
4. intervarsity and polytechnic (IVP) competitions are coming....next year.. so tkd training will most probably be doubled, to 4 times a week. im still not sure if i can commit or not...though i want to...
5. ade jalan raye dgn members Nur Ikhwan n Nanyang Polytechnic Muslim Society... but im not going. memang tk nak pon!
6. firah got first in her class. mabruuuuuk!
7. i was shocked i when i saw the blog of a friend of mine. she withdrew from alsagoff years ago. n let me say this: im disappointed with her (or is it 'in her'?) i simply am. much more than im disappointed with Abidah. but both of you are still my friends. n i respect your decisions of what you want to become.
i think that's all for now.
2. subjects for this semester:
- basic microbiology
- cell biology
- human physiology and immunology
- mathematics and statistics 2
- communication skills for applied science 2
- arts appreciation
- leadership and character
3. my basic micrology lecturer is cute! a bit lame also.... but never mind! haha~~ excuse me eh, cute here is not cute face, superficial... it's more to his antics.... ketawanye pon kelakar... *smiling to myself* n my class got him for our tutor!!! yeah~~~!
4. intervarsity and polytechnic (IVP) competitions are coming....next year.. so tkd training will most probably be doubled, to 4 times a week. im still not sure if i can commit or not...though i want to...
5. ade jalan raye dgn members Nur Ikhwan n Nanyang Polytechnic Muslim Society... but im not going. memang tk nak pon!
6. firah got first in her class. mabruuuuuk!
7. i was shocked i when i saw the blog of a friend of mine. she withdrew from alsagoff years ago. n let me say this: im disappointed with her (or is it 'in her'?) i simply am. much more than im disappointed with Abidah. but both of you are still my friends. n i respect your decisions of what you want to become.
i think that's all for now.
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